Reunion Dinner

Warning: Total camwhore alert!

I can't believe I can be this camwhore when I actually managed to gain 5kg in one sitting. To people who are going to say I'm not fat, I'll have to say this is not about me being fat, but about me gaining 5kg in one sitting. I managed to gain 5kg just in one dinner. Amazing? There are more amazing stuff I did.

Let's see, what had I eaten?

This year's reunion dinner was at Hyatt's Straits Kitchen (camwhore picture later) which was basically buffet styled, so I ate one popiah before we started dinner proper. Then we had yusheng, I had one serving, but lots of raw fish. Then I hit out the main dished. One portion of rice, one portion of noodles, a little bit of fried oyster, and get ready for this, two portions of chicken breast and one portion of duck breast, and not to mention two dozens of prawns. But this was not all, I had soup, two bowls of mini Buddha Jump Over the Wall. And of course dessert, how can I forget dessert? One large bowl of mango pudding with two scoops of mango sherbet, one large bowl of guilin gao, and some mini oranges. I can conclude, I am a pig.

I think I had the most worthwhile meal out of everybody, greatest value for me, since this is buffet, I just can't help it but know that I must eat more than the value I paid for the buffet. Actually the two bowls of Buddha was able to cover one and a half of the price of the buffet, but well, Joan the big eater.

Here are some pictures of the food I ate...


The yusheng


The mini Buddha Jump Over The Wall


The duck and the chicken... While other people shared their food, I ate everything on that plate myself.


The prawns left when I remembered


The mini oranges... They are so cute that me and my sister stuffed a dozen more of them into her bag and brought them home. They are now like lying in my fridge waiting for me to eat them. I'm such a cheapo...


I love mango

I hadn't taken lots of pictures because I kept forgetting that I wanted to take pictures. yea... The only time Joan can forget to take pictures is when Joan sees food and Joan wants to eat the food, hence Joan can actually forget to take pictures. So if any of you want to stop Joan from taking pictures, just stuff delicacies into her mouth, but note, I mean only delicacies~ lol~ Other food just don't work.

The thing about Hyatt is that it's a 5star hotel, and I needed to dress up for the event. And more importantly, there was many very scenic structures around the hotel for me to exercise my camwhore-ness. I think I can be a model already... hehehe~


First I tried modelling my hands, for my nails and for my watch. The manicure has already been detailed in my previous entry. The watch is a diamond encrusted Rolex watch, so it seems like waiting for me to take pictures of it. hmm... If only the face of the watch is in pink...


I'm very tempted to put them in a bigger size, but I guess I should not be that buay paiseh...












Straits Kitchen~ See, I've done such a good job advertising it, can I have an endorsement job? hmm... I guess at the rate I'm eating, I'd end up bankrupting them if they let me eat for free...



And once again, I've maxed out my flickr account for this month. But this month is worse, I've maxed out all three of my flickr accounts. I seldom have to end up using this flickr account, but this month is really a hectic month for me, so wahaha, more pictures~~~ And one thing I'm proud of is that, all my photos in this entry are not photoshopped!!! Not many people can survive without photoshop, but I think I can~ heehee~~~

I guess I won't be blogging about the Chinese New Year until February, so wait for me till then ba... Even if I blog anything about CNY, there can't be any pictures in my blog. yea... And I guess I'll also be receiving more complains about my blog taking forever to load. I'm so sorry peeps~

Wishing all of my friends, a very Happy Chinese New Year and have a sailing year ahead, every one of my friends~ Gong Xi Fa Cai, and don't forget the hongbao and my birthday pressie... hehehehe~

Temasek Junior College Revisited

I attempted to organise a girls outing back to TJ on Thursday, pathetically, only 3 folks including me turned up. I decided on going back on a Thursday only because it wasn't possible for us to go back on Friday as there was no school on Friday. The principal made this politically correct move of cancelling all classes on Friday for the students to go back to their secondary schools to visit teachers for Chinese New Year. Smart person.

First things first, pictures. I'm not going to talk too much today. I ate too much curry for lunch that I'm losing my voice, and I'm going for buffet later tonight at the Straits Cafe in Hyatt. I'll so grow fat.


With Mr Thompson
One of the greatest History teachers I had, other than Prof Farrell of course... bleahz...


With Miss Lim
I seem to like her more and more the longer I left TJ. hmm... Pretty weird of me huh? lol~

Walking about TJ, I spotted this very very lame wall paper...

See me with the lame sign?
This is the lamest thing I've seen in TJ, on top of other lame stuff of course. TJ academy??? I go hahahaha~

This is another lame thingie... The TJ look... Like what the heck??? There is a TJ look?

Please click to enlarge. Worthwhile to click and read the stuff and have a good laugh.

But of course, going back to TJ, one cannot help it but to take more pictures with the stuff back there...


Some light named wall sculpture.


The steel sculpture made by this blind guy, supposedly very famous one. Think it's named something wings one...

And of course, this pillar of wall paintings done by the art students of TJ themselves. I like the bright colours and of course we couldn't resist taking lots of pictures there...




On a side note, a dumb teacher I've never seen before stopped me and said to me that my shorts is too short. Like wtf? Who is she to criticise my dressing like that. I think she's just jealous I can wear short shorts out and not flinch at my dressing. bah... Those sports shorts are lagi shorter lor, and even more transparent somemore she don't complain about the PE department.

And to end of this photologue, a nice big big big picture of my face...

I think I'm growing fat and my teeth is growing crooked. What a waste of my diet and my dental expenses... bleahz...

Magenta Nails

All along I've decided to visit my manicurist on the Thursday before Chinese New Year. I thought that it was a good time to get a manicure and a pedicure done so that I can have beautiful nails for the Chinese New Year, and Thursday was my free day, I can get lots done on the Thursday.

On Wednesday afternoon or was it Thursday morning, I can't remember, I told my mother I was going to get my nails done. And to my greatest horror, I heard from my mother that my sister had gone to get her nails done, and there was a price hike of 20%. At first I thought that 20% for beautiful nails on Chinese New Year was still okay. I mean, the bak kwa too has got price hikes.

So on Thursday afternoon Joan went to the nail bar and to a greater horror than the price hike, she saw a long queue. I went on Thursday naively thinking that being a weekday there would be less people, but sorry hor, that wasn't the case at all. So I asked the manicurist if there was space for me to do. She gave me two slots, one on that day 6.15pm with a price hike of 60% and another on Saturday morning 9.30am with a price hike of 100%.

Thinking that I wasn't able to make it for the 6.15 slot, I picked the 9.30am one. But after walking for a few minutes, I realised that a price hike of 100% and having to wake up at a godforsaken time was absolutely horrendous. So I went back to the nail bar and crossed my fingers and asked if the 6.15 slot was still available. Luckily it was still available.

As I waited for my turn at 6.15pm, I the queue dragged on. There were still a lot of people waiting for the manicurists. I knew I was going to be late for my later appointment. I started regretting.

But I still went ahead and chose a colour for my nails. I wanted something red for my toes but I didn't want bloody reds. I went through the colours and finally picked one that was red with a dark pick tinge. Ladies Magenta it read as it colour. And that would be my colour.

As I was waiting for my turn, I noticed most other women colouring their nails dark red, I felt bright among them, and slightly regretted. Then I realised that unlike them, I've got what it takes to choose an eye-catchy colour, I might feel old, but the numbers on my IC can determine my youth. So that colour stuck.

I did my toes first. Once the colour went on my toes, all feelings of apprehension vanished. The colour was absolutely beautiful my my toes. Then it went on my fingers. Euphroia overtook me. BINGO!!! This is so my colour. Magenta, the colour of my shawl, the colour of a number of my clothes, including the piece I bought that day, and more accurately, it is my colour.



I've always loved the colour magenta, but this is the first time I'm going to acknowledge that as my favourite colour. All along magenta has this romantic image in me. I remember the days from my history lesson. It was said that the town Magenta was so named because of the blood during the war painted the whole area that shade of red. Sadistically, very lovely. It was also said that it was because of that scene after the war that led to Louis Napoleon pulling out of the military agreement he had with Cavour.

With this, I shall add under the favies section magenta as my favourite colour. Actually, this is also my favourite colour in the Blogger default colours. I might use red for my MSN, but when I use Windows Messenger, it's also this colour I pick. And most people dont know that my default colour for my MSN message window, it's this shade of pink/red that I use. hehehe~

I love my nails~~~

Me Kena Personal Attack

Read this first...
http://gssq.blogspot.com/2006/01/someone-has-suggested-to-me-that-i.html

Then read the comments...

Then tell me, have I been attacked left right centre?!!! wahahaha~~~

The story started one fine night when dear gssq asked me about what x and o represents, naively, innocently, the girl nicked xxoos replied him x=kiss and o=hug. I thought that was it, but he blogged about it. Interested in this topic since I do receive lots of queries about my nick, I naively and innocently posted a comment on his blog. And then the next night my dear friend greeted me with the message left by that ted guy who posted the second comment.

What's wrong with my nick?
http://jal4eva.blogspot.com/2005/08/my-nick-explained.html
This is the story behind my nick, at least the xxoos part still holds. Why must that guy personal attack me until like that?

And worse still...

kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
"I think signing off something like cheers and regards are simply nice ettiqute
imported from the letter writing days. If you think it's inane to to so than you
need not do it.
Of course, i think having a nick like xxoo is more duh."
- die xxoos der joan - says:
bleahz...
- die xxoos der joan - says:
cheers and regards in so formal
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
and xxoos so stupid
- die xxoos der joan - says:
like when u went to sign off from a close friend
- die xxoos der joan - says:
cute mah...
- die xxoos der joan - says:
bleahz~
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
lol
- die xxoos der joan - says:
anw xxoos now become my nick already~
- die xxoos der joan - says:
bleahz~
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
...
- die xxoos der joan - says:
who's that ted guy?
- die xxoos der joan - says:
why he personal attack me?
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
got personal attack meh
- die xxoos der joan - says:
attack my nick leh...
- die xxoos der joan - says:
not personal attack then is what?
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
cos it's dumb
- die xxoos der joan - says:
wei...
- die xxoos der joan - says:
where got dumb?
- die xxoos der joan - says:
kiss kiss hug hug tongue dumb meh?
- die xxoos der joan - says:
next time call ur gf give u slap slap beat beat kick then u know
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
I start a poll lah
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
haha I've no gf
so moot question
- die xxoos der joan - says:
one day u sure will have what
kimberly [9 days to Utrecht] says:
tell your bf xxoos
and telling everyone xxoos
not the same
haha thanks for the vote of support
- die xxoos der joan - says:
i emotive what

What's wrong with xxoos??? At least better than some people who don't even bother giving themselves a nick~ bleahz...

I am so angry! Even my pretty nail polish isn't brightening up my day. I went for a manicure and pedicure this evening despite the ridiculous price hike and got my nails painted a nice shade of magenta, my favourite colour~ I bet that ted guy doesn't even know what shade is magenta.

I'm going to sleep now... Shall vent my anger tomorrow when I have more time. hmm... Should I start a flame war on gssq's blog? wahaha~

Sorry 背影

Sorry -- An Excerpt

She lay in her bed with her eyes half closed. She tossed under her sheets and reached out for ther person who was supposed to be beside her, but all she grasped were more sheets. Her eyes flickered open immediately. The coldness of her bed beside all scared her. She bolted upright, all sense of tiredness was pushed to the back of her head.

He sat at the foot of her bed, buttoning up his shirt. His pants still lay on the floor beside the bedpost. As soon as she saw him, she pounced on to him and grabbed him tightly, wrapping her arms round his chest. She buried her head in his back. He took no more than a second to brush her arms away from him, he pushed her back. She fell back into her bed among her sheets. She looked up and stared at him almost pleadingly.

"Please don't go," she begged as she wrapped her arms round his waist, once again burying her face in his shirt and dampening it in the process.

He broke free from her grip again and pushed her back into her bed. He stood up to wear his pants, leaving her in a mess in her own bed. She stared hard at his back, hoping that she was able to will him to turn his head back to look at her, but she failed. She got up once again and knelt at the foot of her bed wrapping her arms round his neck. She brought her face to the back of his head and smelt the familiar smell of his hair.

"Please don't leave me alone," she whispered into his ear just before he pushed her away for the third time.

She fell head first into her bed and buried her head under the sheets staining them with her tears. She was not able to control those tear from flowing out of her eyes. She stared hard at the guy whom minutes ago told her she was the most beautiful woman on earth. The change was so sudden and shocking that she was unable to comprehend what was going on.

She looked hard at his back. "It's late. Please stay for the night, please I beg you," she pleaded, choking on her own tears. She couldn't help but start sobbing. If there was anything she so wanted at this moment was for him to turn his head back and just look into her eyes. She would melt. However, he did nothing.

He walked away from her bed towards the door. Without turning his head back, he uttered, "I'm sorry."

She stared at his back as he slipped out of her room and shut the door behind him. She stared at the door as it shut itself in front of her. She stared into space hoping that the door would open itself again. She stared at the door hoping to be able to see him walking through that door the next moment. She stared through her tears. Everything became a blur.

Slowly, reality sank in, she turn back to her sheets and the pillow he rested his head on a couple of minutes before. She bend down and buried her face in the pillow drawing a huge breath at the moment. She smelt him, she smelt him right beside her, and then she opened her eyes startled, he was gone. Unable to control herself, the tears streamed out. She cried out loud. She continued piling the sheets over her and burying herself deep into the bed hoping that she might lose herself by doing so.

The sheets turned damp and salty. She turned into a bag of nerves. She couldn't understand, it was a very simple request, and yet he couldn't oblige her. She felt cheapened.

《背影》 -- 短篇一则

她躺在床上，眼睛似乎已关上了。她在被单里翻来覆去，得不到一丝的安宁。她伸出手想抱紧应该躺在她身旁的伙伴，但她触摸得到的却只是一层层的被单。你在哪里？她心里想着，眼睛不由自主地睁开了。冰冷的床吓着了她，她立刻坐直，眼睛察看四方，寻找他的背影。她已不觉得累，不觉得困，她只想看到他。

他就坐在床脚，一粒一粒地扣上他衬衫上的纽扣，他的裤子还仍在床脚边。一看到他，她立刻扑上前紧紧地把双手卷在他的胸前。她把她的头埋在他它的背后，但他却用不到半秒钟的时间把她的头推开，把她推到在床上。她跌入她的被单中，把头往上仰，深深地注视在他的背影里。她的眼睛似乎在恳求着一样东西。

“请你别走。”她求着。她把双手紧紧地套牢在他的腰间，一再地把她的脸埋在他的背里，弄湿了他的衬衫。

他摆脱了她的纠缠，再一次地把她推到在床上。他站了起来，穿上了他的裤子，留她一团糟的曲卷在自己的被单中。她望着他的背影，希望她能够用心理感应来迫他回过身子望向她，但她却徒劳无功。她再一次的爬了起来，跪在她的床脚，把手臂圈住了他的脖子。她把脸带到他的头背，用鼻子深深的吸进一口气，闻着那那么首席的味道。

“请你别离开我。”她轻声地把话传入了他的耳朵，但他第三次地把她推到在床中。

她的头先跌入了床中，她又把头埋进被单中，无法控制她的眼泪，任由眼泪积在被单上。她无法控制眼泪不停地流出眼角。她盯住他的背影，回味几分钟前他还轻声密语的在她耳边说她是这世界上最漂亮的女人。他变了，不到几分钟，他变了。他变地又突然，又不似他自己。她不知道现在的他究竟是谁了。

她望着他的背影。“时候很晚了，你留在此过夜吧。我求求你好吗？答应我吧。”她哽咽地求着。她不得已地开始哭泣了。如果现在她能够许个愿而得到她所要的东西，她会要求他回过身来，让她最后一次望入他的眼睛，看穿他所有的心思。她就要求这么多而已。但他什么反应都没有。

他离开了床边，走到了门口，但依然不肯回过头一下。“对不起。”他最终说出了口，就走过了那一扇门。

她盯着他的背影，她望着他走过的那一扇门，她望入空白。她在空白中希望她可以看到他回过头来进入那一扇门，她要再一次用视线捉住他的背影。但她只看到眼泪。她只看到蒙蒙的一切。

慢慢的，现实似乎步入她的感觉。她把头埋入被单中，她又把脸扑入他刚用过的枕头，深深的吸进一口气。她闻到他的味道。她似乎感觉到他没离开过她，但当她已张开双眼，看不到他的背影，她又不由自主地大声哭了出来。眼泪跟着不停地流啊流。她把被单往身上盖，她想要把自己变得更渺小，再从这世界上消失。

被单变得又湿又咸。她变得无法控制。她不能明白，她只要求了那么一小点的东西，他却办不到。她觉得自己还真够犯贱。

Birthday Party 25 February

I've been billed for my booking of the chalet and barbeque pit for my birthday party at Sentosa's Costa Sands. Yes, the bill came in this early.

So, I'll set a few ground rules here before I even prepare the invitations...
1. dress code: as little as possible
2. presents: necessary, as long as you received the invitation
3. presence: if I invite you, you better show up
4. time: possibly the whole day, and please try to stay over
5. food: please eat more cos I won't be eating
6. cake: Joan eats no cake, so there won't be any
7. haven't decided yet...

I've booked for two nights, so the first night would be my party with friends, all friends will be invited. The second night will be for my relatives, friends please go away. I know it might be weird holding a party with different friends all in the same place, but don't worry, my friends are nice people and the venue being at Sentosa, we can all just play fun fun beach games.

A lot of people have reflected that they aren't very happy with my dress code, so until I think of a better themed dress code, this will remain, and I expect everyone to be in proper beach wear, and do bring a change of clothes cos there might be lots and lots of throwing of people into the big big sea, erm... yea... There's a reason for me wanting a beach party what.

I've long put up a birthday wish list by the side, I know most of them cost quite a bit, but I don't expect any one person to buy those for me, grab a few people to share, I'm fine, just let me know if you are getting anything from the list for me so that I won't receive the same present twice. If you don't have any idea what to get me, can visit my likes and favies column, think it might help, and also note that I'm going to Germany, so maybe you can also get me something for the trip? hahaha... Okay, presents are not really that important, what's more important is the thought. Please give me lots of love.

hmm... Now I've something concrete to do. I'll be needing to draw up my guest list real soon and start making my invitations. This time I guess I'll be needing to more than send emails cos the last time I tried sending out those e-cards, half of my friends didn't receive them. I can't let this happen again. Then I'll have to draw up my food list and all those food preparations. Anybody wants to volunteer to help please approach me, I'll be eternally grateful. And then the most important thing, the guest book!!!

Suddenly feel very excited.

Hope you'll be there...

Emo Thu

I woke up this afternoon at 1.30pm to a huge headache. From my bed, the angle of which my pillow is situated directs me to my parents' bedroom window. I don't know when did I start, but everytime when I wake up to that window being shut, I'd bolt up awake immediately. This afternoon I bolt up awake immediately.

I walked about the house hoping to find pieces of notes from my mother noting where she had gone or what food there was which I could eat, but there was neither. I didn't bother calling my mum anyway, I think somwhere along the way, I've developed a proud and pseudo-independent nature. Instead, I opened my computer and hanged out online. I didn't want to chat, I turned away those people who tried to chat with me.

Rather, I stayed online and read this the whole day, and even more pathetic, I played this and completed all 229 questions and scored 204 of them correct. I think I've reached the nadir of boredom. Then after that I continued reading The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde, it's just starting to get a little bit more interesting than I thought.

I don't know why I am feeling so emo today, I think it's the combination of the lack of sleep, outright procrastination and a myraid of other feelings regarding my impending trip to Germany. I came back from Germany the last time with something I didn't want and lost a lot of things I wanted. I'm really apprehensive about this trip this time. I'm really afraid of losing more than I want to or gaining things I don't want.

If not for the 10pm chU show every day, I don't think I even have anything which I can look forward to. Someone asked me why I am so attracted to that show, I don't know. Maybe it's not that show which I'm attracted to but the thought of there's something I can look forward to every day is very soothing. It's been a long time since I am so addicted to something, usually I'm like so nua with everything. There's nothing in my life which can light me up.

I see history repeating itself over and over again. Like an analogy I had with a friend of mine. I'm thrown into the big big sea with nothing to help me survive, then I see a log, I grab onto the log and grab it so tightly thinking that that is the key to my survival. I once had this log whom I rely heavily upon for my emotional outpour, but after sometime, I think he realised what I was using him for and we drifted apart. He thought it was for the better of me to learn how to swim on my own, but he didn't realise that after him I can just look for another log. Right now I've another log and I'm doing exactly the same things to my new log as I did to my old one. It's not a good thing, but I'm too deep into it already.

Last night I was seriously considering my actions, whether it was right for me to do somethings. Right or wrong it not determined by one person alone, but if everybody thinks I'm doing wrong, then I must have not been doing things right. Maybe I shouldn't take things so far, once in a while I should just lie back and look at what I've done and assess if I'm doing what I should be doing.

To my log, I wish to say, I'm sorry. Give me more time for me to adjust, I'm really trying to be a better person.

hai... Feeling so emo again. I hate it!!! I need a ship to save me.

Maybe later I can do my readings, or go back to reading Jasper Fforde, or start trying to comprehend the Memoirs, I really need to brush up on my German. Maybe I should be starting on my German homework, and my Chinese drama stuff, or help out with Cindy on her script for the Theatrefest, she isn't heading anywhere at the present moment. My procrastinating habits just set in like that. I think I need more discipline, can someone discipline me on my behalf? At this rate, I'll never get anywhere.

I've just finished watching the complete set of VCDs for 宝莲灯, I think that's making me more emo also. I think I'm starting to ramble.

My mum just gave me a bowl of double-boiled soup. The headache's a bit better, but I still feel damn emo, I don't even know what I'm doing what I'm writing, and for once in MSN I'm writing lesser than the other person. I usually write like as though I'm rambling but I just can't seem to be able to crap today. I don't know what will be this weekend, and Chinese New year is right around the corner.

I'm supposed to be organising a back to TJ outing for the girls, right now there's me, Jasmine, and Rozie having free days, Hamidah, Jiadai and Zihui end at about noon, Shuhui, Yingling and Eunice end at about 4, so should I go ahead with it?

So many things in my puny brain and worse of all, I can't shake some people out of my head. I think of them like day in day out, and worse still I don't even have a chance to tell them that. What the heck la...

Of Donuts

I seldom put up quizes that I've done, only just about once in a while. I only put up things I agree with and possibly want people to know, if not I'd just hide that up. This is one which I've done and well, I think is very true about me.

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

Sweetheart on the outside, innocent image, totally correct. I'm nice on the outside, most of the time forgetting to bring my brain out and can be so totally blur and bimbotic. But on the inside, a little darker, richer, and more complex, totally correct. Sometimes I even scare myself about what I'm thinking, because I really don't know what I'm thinking. I'm dark, and rich and complex from all those I've been through in life.

A hedonist, or rather a decadent and daring hedonist seeking pleasure and indulgence, that's me. Maybe I'm going to scare of some people when I say this, but I'm really just one screwed up little girl living a decadent life. 糜烂~ I'm just like that...

Seriously, I'm not saying this to scare people away, rather, I think I need help. I want to get out of this sort of lifestyle, and maybe be a simpler person in general. There's still beauty in simplicity, maybe just not founded by me yet, maybe I need someone to guide me to find what I'm looking for. maybe one day I might manage to find it, maybe never will there be a day, but I still harbour hope.

Finally!!!

I received this in my NUS mail today...

Dear Joan,

Your admission letter has been received and you may go to the student service centre at Yusof Ishak House to collect the letter after 2pm today.

Yours Sincerely, Calyn Ong Registrar's Office, NUS
Telephone: ᄍ 6874-1476 ᄍ 6776-3980 Website: http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar/ Address: University Hall, Lee Kong Chian Wing,#UHL-04-01 21 Lower Kent Ridge Road, Singapore 119077
This email is confidential and may be privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete it and notify us immediately; you should not copy or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person. Thank you.

FINALLY!!!
After months of waiting, after anxious nights, after periods of complains, after after after... ... I'm finally going to leave on a jetplane~ I want to take a direct flight, maybe the Lufthansa since SIA has a bad track record of it's discrimination against locals. I can hardly wait~ I can toss that pile of $25 worth of notes and readings I've printed two days ago, I can forget about everything in Singapore, I can forget~~~ wahahaha...

hmm... I'd wanted to upload some georgeous photos of Frieburg, but something's wrong with Flickr. damn... I can't wait for later. I shall go to school earlier then go collect that then go for my first German class~ Heute ist ein gute Tag!

The Big Lie

With regards to the huge commotion in the Blogosphere recently, I guess I can only say the following. Disclaimer: I stand on no one side of the two sides. I stand on my side. I'm also not a popcorn eater, I just want to act smart by saying all these.

When caught in a lie, there are usually three ways to go about doing things.

1. Come clean, apologise, and hope people will forget it sooner or later. Of course, one would lose credibility after it, but of course, there would also be respect appropriated.

2. Ignore the whole issue, pray, and hope things die down sooner or later. People have short attention span, so things will die down, sooner or later, but of course, that would mean that there would not only be a loss of credibility but also a subsequent loss of respect but people both on your side and against you.

3. The Chinese would call it beat die and not confess. It means that until death, one would not confess and argue that it wasn't a lie at all but the other party accusing you of lying. People who stand by your side will believe you, people who don't will hate you. It's like things remaining in its status quo just that it's more polarised.

In a circumstance of where evidence is clear that the lie is exposed, I would suggest that the first method be used. Like the Chinese would say, a big husband dare to do dare to admit. After all no man is faliable.

However, in a circumstance where evidence is not very clear and there can be room for manoevre, the third method might actually be more useful. I'm not encouranging lying per se, after all, one lie leads to another lie. But in a tried and tested method, lying straight through the teeth can indeed put things right. This is called The Big Lie in history, formulated and perfected by Nazi Propaganda Minister Dr Josef Goebbels.

More details of Dr Josef Goebbels and The Big Lie can be found in these two Wikipedia links.

If you are too lazy to click on the links and read about such serious political terms, I shall explain The Big Lie as simply as I can put it. It is saying a lie repeatedly that people always hear it and sooner or later after being so accustomed to it take it for real, and to them the lie has become a fact in the eyes of the masses. Dr Josef Goebbels did this to perfection and successfully manipulated the German people by his propaganda campaigns.

Of course, some people want evidence, so everything depends on how much evidence one can have on their side, but evidence cannot dissuade a person unless manipulated into a propaganda material. In fact, I seriously believe that a well presented evidence can make the most effective type of propaganda. I imagine if Dr Josef Goebbels has that type of propaganda on his hands and how much damage he can make with it.

I'm a big fan of propaganda materials, as in I like examining them and evaluating their successes and failures. Everything more or less can be political. Media is a very effective means of propaganda, but how does one manipulate media to their advantage? And another thing to consider is the reach of their media, it is directly proportional to its effectiveness.

And in politics, political allies are also very important factors. A good political ally can help one to garner support from a larger group of people while a weaker ally can quash one's successes. One reason why Hitler was able to make it to where he was on the eve of 1943 was his party members. He had people like Goebbels who was not only fiercely loyal but also one who had the power of communication in his hands. Goebbels did not start out as Hitler's ally early in the party's history, but Hitler won over him. He won fully over him.

Of course, some marriages of convenience might also be very convenient, but later it might still disintegrate. This can be seen as a reverse order of the Seven Warring States and the Spring Autumn Warring States. Although on paper it might sounds as though it is the Qin state vs the rest, but actually there are seven parties fighting all against each other in the wars and no two of them are actually close allies.

All I can say about most people are that they are actually ignorant creatures and do not learn from the experiences of the sages. Think, Sun Zi Bing Fa isn't popular for no reason. Why do people study Napoleon even until today. And Bismarck's Realpolitik vs Kaiser Wilhelm's Weltpolitik. I'm glad to be a history student with a good grasp of Political Science and with a wide reading interest.

Suddenly I feel like going to an office to work... hahahaha~ No way though...

PS: I actually didn't want to put the first paragraph in, no point linking everything I say back to one incident, but I'm afraid. I suddenly thought of something else and I don't want people to misunderstand me otherwise. Please after reading this just forget about the first paragraph. Treat this entry like an entry I've written for my own pleasure. hai...

Postdated Entry

I've a postdated entry here which was written halfway then saved as draft and continued and saved as draft and then continued again.

And I'm getting very forgetful lately, and restless. hai...

Random Thoughts

1. Angel and Devil
I am a Pisces, two fishes swimming in opposite directions. Like my star sign, I'm the kind of conflicted person who holds long debates with myself regarding a decision. Like the angel and devil, the angel in you telling you to do one thing and the devil in you telling you to do the other thing. In most cases of men, the devil wins as in all of us there is at least some evil. Last night I held another decision making debate, only that I had someone to pose for me as the angel. I played devil.

The angel basically told me what I'd have said myself had I played angel and devil myself. I didn't want to play it myself because I thought I wouldn't do a good job out of it, and it was too tiring to play two different characters at that time of the night. I must say, the angel did a very good job out of persuading me. I hope the decision I'll make in the next two hours will do me good.

2. Manchester United drew with Blackburn
I have this friend whom sometimes we'd make this pact, especially on nights with football and he's watching it and I want to sleep early. He's say he'd message me after the match if it was a certain result, but after a couple of time, he still have yet managed to message me. He's been struck with the SMS curse. Last night he was again unable to break the curse.

He said he wanted to break the curse, and he would message me when Man Utd won Blackburn. I woke up today to see no unread messages. I went online to check, they drew. hahaha~ The curse remains. I refer back to some other matches, the Man Utd vs Arsenal one too, the few other Man Utd matches which Man Utd drew or lost. And once he said he's message me when Chelsea drew a match against some other team, but he did not get to message me as Chelsea scored a late winner.

I think next time if I want Man Utd to lose, I shall make this pact with that said friend and keep the curse running. hahaha~ I am evil!

3. A Message on Someone's Tagboard
1:04am 12/1/06
Hi girl, I really think I donno u at all.. I believe all roles r equally impt.. n it's really ok tt u quit..
1:07am 12/1/06
But i really think tt u sld seriously reflect on how u treat the others. U will nv earn ppl's respect if u donno how to respect ppl..
1:08am 12/1/06
n i don think u respect drama either.. I seriously think u owe the director a sincere apology.. u r not tt great either to criticize others..

My thoughts? First that person said she don't know her at all, yet she went ahead and critised her, not only that she still preached her on what to do. All these when she did not know her at all! I think that is utter nonsense. I mean, it's okay if you believe in some things and you'd want to share your belief with others, but can you do that when you already said that you don't know that person?

Another thing that got me enraged is how ignorant some people can be. Apparently from the postings of her message, she only wanted to say the morally correct stuff and berate the subject in question, but what she did not realise was that by saying all those she is just exposing herself her ignorance. You weren't there for yourself to see what happen, how can you make assumptions, especially when you say you don't know her at all. I'm not saying I know everything, I know I don't, but at least I didn't make assumptions.

When the affair broke out, I did use a lot of moral judgments by saying all the "you should" and "you should not", but I used them more on stuff like "you really should sit down and think about it" or "you should not have done that, but since it has already been done, do something else", I don't think anyone can give anyone a moral judgement order on "you should apologise" especially when you are not part of the affair and you have absolutely no idea the intricate happenings between them. I don't know either, so I'm not saying anything. And I know I definitely know more than you, you why do you have the right to say more than me? It just doesn't tally.

Maybe that girl just wants to patch everything up, but personally I don't think that should be the way to do things. There is not right and wrong in everything. Some people might think one is wrong but others think he is right, some people might think one is right while other think he is wrong, it's the same thing in this affair, there is not one party who is right or wrong, so who should make the apology? I don't think anyone should make it. Yes, the one who most wants to mend relations up will be the one apologising, but that is not part of a moral judgement.

People try hard to be so good, but they don't realise the more they try the more unable they are to be good.

4. Rain
I hate the rain.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas
115min, I watched it at Orchard Cineleisure, exclusive showcase.
in French, German and Scottish-accented English

The title might be misleading. I thought beforehand when I read the description of the film that the film should not be named as such because it's just too misleading, but after watching the film, I cannot think of a more appropriate or a more poignant title than Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

The film opens with three small boys saying aloud the indoctrinations of their nation in their national language of French, English and German. The French of the possession of Alsace, the Scot of the will of God and the Germans being all evil, the German of the might of the Kaiser and their duty to the Fatherland. I shivered when I saw that. Those were boys, young boys, yet they were so fed with propaganda and indoctrination that they have lost the sense to think for themselves.

Then it pans out to the vast European lands, and into the trenches. With my knowledge of the Great War and everything to do with trench warfare, this film touched my heart more than others, who have no knowledge of what it was like under those circumstances. During the shelling of the trenches, I can actually feel all the vibration in the cinema. We got Hall 6 in Cineleisure. Fans of art house film would be very familar with Hall 6, it's the tiny tiny hall which can seat like 60-80 people only (I've counted before) and behind that stairwell. So, given the tiny hall, all the vibrations were felt on full force and it was just as if we were at the forefront of the battle.

This front of the war was fought between the Germans and the two allied people of Scotland and France. The Germans and the French all along have been against each other in almost every major European War fought between them, yet it was refreshing to have the Scots rather than the English in this front as I'd say the Scots have been underrated in this Great War, and actually, also other European wars. The only problem of the Scots was their accent, which I luckily did not find it too annoying. One thing good about watching films in Singapore, and being able to understand English, Chinese and 50% of the German used in the film, I was able to read the English and Chinese subtitles and differentiate the nationalities and the languages used by the different soldiers. Jasmine had some problems differentiating the German and the French. For me, those I understood 100% was English, 50% German, 0% French. Maybe it was due to my knowledge of the languages, I really felt I could understand and appreciate the scenes of which the soldiers used a smattering of languages to try communicating with each other.

Due to the equal weightage appropriated to the three nationalities, there was a large cast, with leads in all three nations and each with a side story.

The German side story was about an oprea singer and his wife, also an oprea singer. Because of the war, they were forced to part, and by chance they managed to meet up on Christmas eve and using their voices, they spread the warmth of Christmas eve not only to their own solders but also to the soldiers sharing the border.

The French story concentrated on the conflicts between the Lietunant and his Major and about another soldier whose mother stayed near the Lietunant's father-in-law. It was until later in almost the last part where we realise ***spoilers*** that the Major was the father of the Lietunant. Before the Lietunant went to war, he left his heavily pregnant wife in the care of her parents. During the war, there was a cease of letters from the warfront and the Lietunant was unable to find out the whereabouts of his wife. He met this soldier who on one occasion disclosed to the Lietunant that actually his home village was about an hour's walk about from the battlefront. His village happened to be the same village as the Lietnuant's father-in-law. ***spoilers end***

The Scottish story centred on a priest and two brothers. The priest and his struggle with the teachings of God. Who are the sons of God? Was it only the Entente Powers? Or did it include the evil Germans? The story of the brothers happened in a battle when one brother was shot. He told his brother to run ahead so at least one of them could survive. The surviving brother was filled with guilt over leaving his then still alive brother behind.

These stories were pieced together in a seamless fashion and brought together in the final tale of the Merry Christmas. The three groups of soldiers negotiated a ceasefire among themselves and buried the dead as they exchanged Christmas songs, had a mass and played football and cards and just had a merry Christmas. Those were not soldiers on the battlefield, they were men, who had families back at home. They were not fighting for themselves, they were fighting for the "fat blokes back in the HQ smoking cigar".

I always thought war was something that men had to fight in it with all their heart. I remembered in my European Nationalisms class, I scorned at this girl who said "I don't believe in war", but it is only when we face death in our face that we can truly realise that we are not soldiers, we are but faliable men. There was nothing different among the soldiers though they were wearing different hats, they had a family back at home and they missed them.

In the scenes of which the different soldiers came together, their topic always went back to their family. Soldiers would trade showing each other photos of their wives. Their family background and the circumstances that they were driven to war were very similar, leading them to befriend each other, to want to build up a friendship for when the war ends.

Maybe it's also my knowledge of the Great War that made this Merry Christmas more poignant. Before the war started, the general opinion of the war was that it'll be over by Christmas. But apparently, it's Christmas, and the war's not over yet. They really did want the war to end.

The thing about the three different groups of soldiers were that they lived very near each other, separated only by a thin stretch of no man's land. The Scots started their Christmas eve celebrations first, by playing the bagpipes and singing. These sounds could be heard by the Germans and the French. The French were suspicious and sent out a spy to check out the Scots and the Germans, the Germans on the other hand on hearing the singing, sang too. The oprea singer, sang for his people, and was heard by the Scots too. Later, the Scots played on their bagpipes Silent Night, which the oprea singer sang to it, in his native tongue.

[Note: I had written a lot after this, but stupid Blogger ate everything up, luckily I'd until this part saved.]

The French were sort of the comedians in this war, actually from history, we all know that the French have always been comedians in war. There's this joke, France never had any great militarians, except for Napoleon, who was a loser. In the part regarding the negotiations, the French were always the last to show up. Even in the Scottish trenches, there's a sign labelled "Froggie Land" in the direction of the French trenches. For those who don't know the joke, the British call the French Frogs.

There is still a lot I want to write but I feel so tired, I'll leave you guys to ponder over what I mean by I love the side story of the alarm clock the best. Many jokes were made out of it, but it's ending was also a tragic one, not only to those involved but to the general spirit of hope among mankind. ***spoilers*** There was this guy, his alarm clock was always set to ring at 10am, every day without fail. Soldiers from all three camps could hear it, and recognise it. The guy with the alarm clock said that he needed this to remind him that when the war was over, he had to be up at 10am to have breakfast with his mother. Because of the Christmas ceasefire, he borrowed a set of uniform from the Germans and set off for home to visit his mother. He had breakfast with his mother. He went over to visit the Lietnuant's in-laws too. And came back to the trenches the next day. However, the ceasefire had then ended. He was shot by one of his men because he was wearing a German uniform. They only recognised him when his alarm clock rang off at 10am sharp, as usual. Before he died, he managed to inform the Lietnuant that his wife had given birth to a son. I really liked that scene a lot, it was so touching, so poignant, and filled with all sorts of emotions.

It was also because of the birth of the son that the Lietnuant patched up with the major in the end. ***spoilers end***

A great film, a 10/10 film, a Joan's Top 10 Films Film.

A Busy Day

At the stroke of midnight I came online and this message window popped up on me. The following conversation ensues...

cindy: the line between stupid and clueless says:
been busy today?
cindy: the line between stupid and clueless says:
nv see u online
cindy: the line between stupid and clueless says:
till now i mean
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
went watch movie
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
bought a dress
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
lol~
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
went lib too
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
borrowed 3 books~
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
quite busy ba...
- xxoos - the next sylvia plath and virginia woolf says:
hahaha...
cindy: the line between stupid and clueless says:
wow...

Why did I put this log up? Cos why my dear friend first messaged me, I thought I wasn't busy. I woke up at 1030 this morning and went online and stayed online until 430 before going to the library and borrow 3 books by Jasper Fforde. Can't wait to read them... I'll read them in chronological order then do up a book review. Wait for my reviews! Ya, and I met Yang Shibin at the library just now. To all DHS CDS drama people, Yang Shibin sends his regards.

Then I went down Orchard Cineleisure to meet Jasmine for a movie. Merry Christmas. It's a war movie, and totally fantastic. It's quite the kind of feel good show and I think it can be considered as an antidote for that disgusting (not not nice, just overly violent and extreme) film I watched on Monday, Blood and Bones. I'll post up the review for the former later after I finish with this post first. I had wanted to lumo the review all into one blog post but I thought that might not do justice to that film since that film is really one of a war films classic.

Me and Jasmine had one of those standard boohoo moments before we entered the cinema. I think this can be a stereotypical blonde girls joke. We went into the lift with two guys and a girl. The girl pressed 3, the boys pressed 8, Jasmine turned to me, "Would it be 5 or 6 for us?" Joan went, "Erm..." while Jasmine pressed 5, then Joan continued, "I think it's 6!", then Jasmine pressed 6. "Wait a minute..." Joan looked at the level descriptions then said proudly, oblivious to Jasmine's doing, "I think it should be 4!" "Okies, no problem," and Jasmine jabbed at 4. Before we realised it, 4 5 and 6 were litted. Joan went, "Oops...", as the girl in the lift walked out at level 3 and sniggered at us.

Then the two guys in the lift did something to the buttoms and removed the lighted up buttons of 5 and 6. Joan saw that and asked them in a very surprised tone, "How did you do that?!!!" "Because I work here," was the lame reply. Joan and Jasmine hurried out of the lift at level 4. At least the two guys didn't have to endure waiting for the lift doors to open and shut at levels 5 and 6. And as we found out later, our cinema was at level 6 instead. So much for all the lift buttons pressing, I think Joan and Jasmine should stick to talking the escalators. wahaha~

After the movie I browsed through some clothes shop with Jasmine cos she was going to meet her cousin and her boyfriend at Zouk but she wasn't appropriately dressed. She wanted to get something cheap and nice to go clubbing. I browsed through with her, and as you know, I just can't resist a good buy. I spotted this green and orange sundress on a manequin and thought it looked nice, I went into the shop even before Jasmine to look at the dress, and Jasmine was the one who was supposed to be looking out for clothes. I bought that dress in blue and pink, thought it suited me better. For $39 only, I thought it was quite a steal~ hehehe...

And this is not all! I wrote a short poem this afternoon when I felt inspired by some things going on in my life. It's been quite some time since I last wrote in some other forms other than prose, and it's in Chinese somemore, so it's quite a milestone for me to be writing this poem.
我怨不了天 我怨不了你
我怨不了任何人 除了我自己
我怎么对他 你就怎么对我
我在他的身上看到了我的影子
世界本就糜烂
我在的世界是个恶性循环
I'm thinking of adding more verses to this short peom, but see how things ba...

In all, today was quite a productive day. It pains me to think of how I am going to plan my Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Thursday: 1200-1300, meeting my friend in town for lunch
Thursday: 700-1000, pailian in school
Friday: 800-1000, Imperialism lecture in school
Friday: 700-1000, pailian in school
Saturday: 945-1000, combined rehearsal in school

Can someone tell me what can I do in between all those time? Considering that I stay in East Coast. I don't want to spend 3 hours on Thursday on buses, nor do I want to spend 4 hours on buses on Friday, and I definitely don't want to wake up so bloody early on a Saturday. That would make it, including the 2 hours of bus ride on Saturday, altogether 9 hours wasted on headaches. Damnit... I hate it!!! I'm not just only wasting 9 hours, I'm also torturing myself for 9 hours by suffering serious headaches on bumpy bus rides and acute lack of sleep.

And it's not just headaches if it continues to rain. This evening I felt a sharp pain in my joints when it rained and the wind pricked my knees. I think I'm really aging, and suffering from rheumatism. What a scary thought.

I'm going to be 21 soon. My birthday plans are making headway. My birthday wish list is up by the right hand side of my blog. Friends, please don't happen to buy me the same thing, check with me before consulting that list if possible. Thanks~ By the way, my birthday party will be on the exact same day as my birthday, so keep that day free, if not I'll skin you alive. And it's common courtesy that as long as you've received an invitation, even if you don't attend the party, your gift must be presented to me. Yup... hehehe~

hmm... I think that's all I did today. Should I go sleep now or should I start writing my review now? This sounds like the standard Joan question she likes to pose to people and not expect any answer and then decides for herself what she wants to do. I shall go sleep now and wake up tomorrow to write the review before going to meet my friend for lunch. Just hope i don't get caught chatting online tomorrow, if not I don't know if I can ever get that review up anot. wahaha~

Untitled

I'm don't know what I'm feeling now. I feel so restless and so lost like I've lost all aim and motivation.

Bear with me as I bring you in chronological order of my day yesterday. I think it might have been that too many things have happened and my puny brain is unable to fit everything in and now I've the huge information overload and the worse thing that can happen? Waking up thinking of something totally undefined.

I woke up at 7am. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, packed my bag, couldn't find my notebook and hurried into a frenzy looking for it. I had a meeting at 9am but I threw a temper and said I'd only go at 10am cos I've had something planned. Yes, I planned to sleep a bit more. Maybe I should talk about the night before, I couldn't sleep. I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all. It sucked. I pulled on a huge amount of clothes on me cos it was freaking cold. Two days straight of raining. How gloomy can the first day of school get?

The bus ride to school was terrible. I stupidly sat right at the back of the bus and got a huge headache from the bumpy ride. I almost wanted to vomit like every two minutes. I don't know is it due to my sickness or the stupid ride, but it seems to be due to the ride cos I changed seats halfway through the journey and I felt loads better. I reached my meeting at 930 which I thought I was being a damn nice person by compromising. Maybe I shouldn't always rely on my mood to get stuff done.

The meeting was boring, like every other meeting, but this meeting made us realise how in need of money we are. The meeting ended later than I thought so that didn't give me enough time to take a nap. I rushed off after lunch to print my notes. I hate the bloody packed canteen and the bloodier long queue in the library. I hate people.

I finally sent out an email to Mr Ow regarding my SEP. Can't stand waiting any longer. I want to take leave of absence.

I finally went for my classes at 2pm, and the other at 4pm. It's amazing to see familiar faces popping up everywhere. I've seen like half the class from both classes from other classes before. Seems like the history community in NUS isn't really that big after all. This semester these two History teachers are new to me, an Italian and a British, very interesting mix of people. And it seems like everyone has something against Prof Farrell, both made jokes about "Brian Farrell". Suddenly can't wait for my Imperialism class with Prof Farrell on Friday, wonder who can he make fun of.

After school I went to watch movie with a friend. We went Marina Square. First time in my entire life Marina was like so darn packed up humans. Why? Cos there was a SHE autograph session. And the freaking queue was so long that we finished out meal and people are still queuing outside, and we took a damn long time to find the restaurant and eat our food lor.

The blind Joan with no sense of direction struck again and this time the poor guy with me is Yanwei. I'm very sorry for making you walk the whole of Marina. I think Joan should just give up trying to lead the way. We wanted to go Carl's Jr for dinner, but we just couldn't seem to be able to find it. And I only remembered it being "opposite a slimming centre" and couldn't remember other details. I think we walked the whole of Marina Square until I almost thought that Carl's Jr might have moved away until I saw people from the autograph session holding Carl's Jr's drinks.

Carl's Jr was damn packed with kids. Sian.

The movie. I have no idea what I can say about this movie. I don't even know how to feel after watching this movie. The movie seems to be relating the life of this person and we are brought to meet him from him 20 years old all the way until he died at about 100. And I couldn't understand how I felt about him. As Yanwei puts it, this film is just "too negative". Everything was negative in the movie, there wasn't a single thing positive about the movie. All the characters in the film are all fucked up, and I really do mean ALL. Even the kids, damn fucked up. It's not a film to watch on such a gloomy day. Still, the film was great in the sense that it is a good film, just that, I think it's affecting me too much. It's affecting me to think of what I'm thinking and I don't know what I'm thinking.

The whole night I thought of something undefined, I woke up thinking of something undefined. Now that undefined thing is occupying all my thoughts. Suddenly, I despise myself. I hate myself. But yet I'm proud of all those I've sacrificed.

I don't know...

I need an antidote. Should I get it from the undefined or should I seek from other resources or should I just get on myself?

Chocolate Machine

A quote from the daddie...

Sis: Jie, you want buy a chocolate fountain?
xxoos: No, it's so expensive.
Sis: No, it's not.
xxoos: It's $198, it's not expensive? Why? You want buy ah?
Dad: The machine is not expensive but the chocolate is lor.
xxoos: Nope, it's $19.90.
Dad: That's the lousy kinds.
xxoos: Nope, it's manufactured by the same manufacturer as the chocolate machine.
Dad: Wah... Imagine you can put marshmallows in the chocolate and eat. It's heavenly...
Sis: Yalor... So nice...
xxoos: Yup~ Very nice, right? You want to buy for us?
Dad: Don't want. Later you guys one by one blame me cos you fat.

This has to be one of my Daddie's best quotes lor... Don't want buy then don't buy lor, still can say that the reason he's not buying it is cos he's nice, he doesn't want us to be fat. Okay, you can say he knows us well cos me and my sister are the kind of people who blames everything on everyone expect for ourselves.

And my stupid sister, wanting to catch me for me less knowledgeable than her? Forget it... I'm always faster than her. I managed to read the papers today, before she sis.

Speaking of chocolate fountains. I love the one at Hyatt's. Their Mezza9. wahahaha~


Anyone wants to buy one for me? hehehe...

Rozie's 21st Birthday

The night before our dear Rozie's birthday, we schemed and prepared and trotted down to Rozie's house way way in Woodlands and plotted to give her a big surprise. All for her finally being 21 years old. The oldest among us girls~

In celebration of Rozie's birthday, I shall retract my no photos rule and give everyone a big spread on this birthday celebrarion. A note to those girls, I've uploaded soe of the photos onto our gmail liao, some more will be uploaded soon. And another thing, contrary to all of your pleas, I did not delete any photos... wahaha~ So by uploading them all, any of us can blackmail you liao le! But we are all nice people, so don't worry. hehehe~


The partners in crime~
A pity Shuhui and Jiadai have curfews and Hamidah sends her regards. So we the naughty girls conspired to give the birthday day the surprise of the year~ Before this we started sending Rozie birthday greetings via sms and Rozie thought we'd conspired to send the messages together, she did not know that we were actually together conspiring something bigger... hehehe~


Decorating the card~
Zihui and Eunice met up earlier at Eunice's house to do that card and a short video, both containing loads and loads of pictures we took since we first met each other 4 years ago. Looking through all those photos, I don't need to be Rozie to feel a tear welling up in my eyes. How've we grown over the 4 years!


Finally, the card~
Messages from us all, including dictated messages from Shuhui, Jiadai and Hamidah. And of course handwritten ones from those who were present. Plus the pictures, printed by Eunice... awwwww...


The cake and drinks~
brought by our trusty mummy, Yingling. What else can one expect from our mummy? We came all prepared~

With all these, we walked up to Rozie's door. Erm... We couldn't knock the door or ring the doorbell cos Rozie's little sister was sleeping and we don't want to wake anyone up. So we called Rozie's handphone, no answer. We panicked. Rozie can't be sleeping so early, could she? We called up people to check if Rozie was online, she wasn't then we panicked. The last resort was to call Rozie on her house phone which might eventually wake her little sister up. So Zihui did the calling, and her brother picked up the phone after a long long ring. Just at that moment, Rozie messaged us, she was still awake! Zihui hurriedly snappedn her phone shut while we messaged Rozie to hurry open the door~

Rozie was like, "Oh my gawd, oh my gawd..."


The cake~
A thick chocolate cake with chocolate cream and white chocolate cream inside and the thick chocolate layer on the outside... yummy~ We ate only like less than half the cake and we left Rozie's family with the rest of the cake. hehehe~


A surprised Rozie~
Most of it throughout Rozie remained pretty calm, so this is one nice picture of her being surprised. Why was she calm? Dunno, maybe she's older ba... And more matured liao le... lol~


Rozie cut cake~
See the bear in the background? That was what we bought her three years ago, a Man Utd bear which functions as a radio. She still has it~ We were like awwww... wahaha~


Zihui presenting card to Rozie~
This was when Rozie has not opened the card yet, so she can still smile... hehehe...


Rozie open card~
Seeing the card, even me not having my birthday me can go wahaha~ Much more Rozie, right? wahaha~


Our signature shot~
Then we took this shot. The story of this kind of shots will be revealed later...

Now some group shots and some horsing around as the night went by...


This was the only decent group shot we took, thanks to Rozie's brother.


A prayer to the camera which left us all with tummy aches cos we wanted to take a picture of us without double chin so I thought why don't we take a picture from a high angle, so I raised the camera high and we all knelt down. The someone commented that we looked like we were praying to the camera and that left us in a heap of laughter, and the tummy aches ensued.


This one was the opposite, we tried to get away with double chin by putting the camara under us and we all looked over the camera.


We tried to take a group shot of us through the mirror. Can I say it looks more decent and hence this is a successful shot? lol~

We had actually thought of taking cab home after the birthday celebrations but considering many other factors such as money and Zihui retreating to Boon Lay cos she had to go back hall, we decided that maybe we could just hang around for two more hours then we could take the first bus home. We were pretty lucky that Rozie's brother was at his friend's place so there was an empty room and space for us to lounge in. We ended up sleeping way over the first bus.

Looking at some old photos, Jasmine had this craving for McDonald's breakfast, and that was where we headed the next morning~


Rozie, Yingling and me all tired and spotty. Me need to pull out my cap and hide myself somemore.


Five big breakfasts and one hotcakes.

With this, we left Woodlands by bus. Me and Jasmine too 966 to Marine Parade. It was a very quick journey comparatively I should say. Yingling and Eunice took 168. It made more sense to take bus away rather than take a routed MRT all the way around the country. Only Zihui left by train cos she was going back to her hall.

Towards the end of the post, I have maxed out my flickr account, all by one single blog entry, and I still have one PS to write regarding our signature shot. Damn... So much for causing people's computers to take ages to load, now I need to bring out my other flickr account to bring you the story of the signature shots~

PS: Above I wrote something about signature shots. Our signature shot is squeezing peoples' head into a single camara shot like taking neoprint like that. This was something that started out as an inconscious effort cos we had wanted to take group shots of ourselves but were hesitant in approaching people for help, so we stated taking these shots by ourselves. As outings and outings passed, we realised that this has become a very signature shot of us.

The very first time we experimented with it. Our prom, or rather the day after our prom night, or was it the night after our prom. But now to think of that that was like so long ago... We've started taking these kind of shots so long ago??!!!


Also an early attempt of us taking our signature shot. Actually this shot has always been the shot we thought was our first attempt, that was until I unearthed that shot from our prom. wahaha...



A recent attempt, from the cycling trip.


A blurry attempt, from the high tea.


The most recent attempt, you guys have seen it before.

With these pictures, I've concluded one of my longest ever posting with the most number of photos and your page would probably take like a few years to load, but it's worth it, I tell you!

Rin

What is Rin?

Or maybe to be a little more precise, I should ask, "Who is Rin?"

She's a character from Fruitsbasket, a manga I'm reading now, there's also an anime for that series. Her real name's Isuzu Sohma, but everyone calls her Rin cos "rin" is the sound for a suzu, bell, furthermore, Rin suits her better... She's a girl who loves passionately but for some reasons have to leave the one she loves in order for him to live a better life. She grew up as a girl without proper family love and hence she doesn't fully understand love, yet she is so passionate. A complex girl who wants to seek solace but doesn't dare to show her fraility. Below is a series of quote from Fruitsbasket 14 regarding Rin...

"Are you blaming me?

Maybe I should try talking to him again. But no matter how many times I go to him, will I keep getting stonewalled?

I just wish I'd been borned inside Haru's heart. That way we'd always be together. If Haru were to die, I'd die right along with him. But if we did that, we'd never be able to kiss, or anything... Haru... But I... Haru...

- I keep seeing that scene... that nightmare... I've got to wake up!
+ I've got to find it...
- I've got to open my eyes...
+ I've to to find a way...
- I've got to end this... I've got to end this once and for all...

Even though I was such a burden, you tried and tried and tried. And in the end, you snapped. Never again... Nothing will ever be the same again, you said that, you didn't want me anymore. I'm so afraid... so afraid... I just can't stand it anymore.

Whenever stepped into the house, that uncertain feeling would overwhelm me. Were they in a good mood, or a bad one? I waited for that day that it would all just blow over. Like an unfeeling 'object', like a cold hard rock. Hoping that maybe they'd forgive me. Someday, you'd forgive me, won't you? Things will return to the way they were, right?

Every time when I struggled to find answers to the questions that could never be answered Haru would appear in front of me. He'd bring me out into the sunshine and we'd talk about all sorts of silly things. We'd have our meals together, and he'd come to visit me in hospital. Haru would always seek me out. Whenever Haru was by my side, all my pain and suffering disappeared.

I love Haru. I can't live without him. Without him I'd lose all sense of security... I won't feel safe anymore... I don't want anyone but Haru. I want Haru, I want all of him. That desire just keeps getting stronger and stronger.

But my kind of love, will only destroy Haru in the end. If Haru were to hate me, and leave me... If he were to disappear from my life...

I lost all sense of reason. I loved him too much. Even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn't let it go. I felt so distorted inside. Why must it be so complicated? Even as we held hands, and our bodies touched, I wanted him, yet I was afraid. When I thought about what Akito might do if he ever found out, I just got more and more terrified.

But Haru, he told me that he wants me. Even though I've been told many times that I'm not wanted. At least there was one person in my life who wanted me. I feel so happy. Such a wonderful feeling of contentment. I was content(sic). Thank you. You made me so happy. But it's enough, it's enough now, Haru. From now onwards, it's your turn to find true happiness. Release yourself from me, from Akito. I want to free him from his barriers. Haru's tru happiness lies beyond me. There's a whole wide world out there to explore and discover! Even if it means that my life will be empty from now on. I'm willing to let it go.

I hate you...
But it wasn't my intention. It was the only way I knew to express it. I don't want to see innocents like you tainted and hurt...

I hate this... That's why, to her, I didn't want to get close. She's the sort of person, the sort of girl you'd feel like pouring your heart out to. Just like that time...
Looking at her made me feel like crying. I wanted to run to her, to lay my head in her lap and tell her all my troubles. Like a child finding solace in her mother's arms...
Maybe if I told her of all the weaknesses that is in my heart, that way, I'd find forgiveness and understanding. Perhaps I will be accepted for who I am...
It's just too much, too much to bear. I'm so pathetic! People like me only know how to latch onto people like her. We yearn for them and feed off their hope. That's why I can't allow myself to fall back on old habits. I'm fine alone. I must keep going by myself...
It doesn't matter if no one understands me. Doesn't matter if everyone hates me. Doesn't matter if I'm all alone...
I was so sure of my decision. So determined not to cry anymore... and yet...
I'm sorry... I'm sorry for weeping on your shoulder... for being so helpless... so weak... I'm sorry...

I don't have the strength to stand on my own anymore...

That morning, we watched the sun as it rose quietly, bathing everything around us in its warm radiance. Even places far away were touched by its glowing rays of light.

Together for always... No one seems to see that beyond this door, she's quietly crumbling. I can sense it somehow. If it comes to that it will be irrecoverable. I hope someone will appear before her, someone who can unlock the door, just like Haru was there for me. She really needs someone like that in her life.
Someone who knows and fears loneliness will always have love for others..."

I think deep down I'm indeed a very lonely person. Yes, I have family and friends and many people physically by my side, but there's also something I seriously lack and this void in my emotional self cannot be filled up by my family and or by those friends I speak of. It's not that they are not important, cos they are, but just that I don't know how to describe the difference.

There is just this void in me, just like Rin. The loneliness and the fear of loneliness...

Consuming me...
Engulfing me...

And me wanting to break through all that...

Unlike Rin, I have no Haru by my side, I cannot seek solace even from him, much less others. If there was one thing I could change in my life, I think i'd turn time back and not waste my time on an x, instead, probably I'd open my life out... maybe...

Rin...

Peiting's Birthday Party and New Year with the CDS Girls

I like small crowds and hate big crowds so this New Year Celebration cum Peiting's birthday celebration is actually perfect for me.

Before I start on Peiting's birthday, I need to get something off my chest. I just read xiaxue's blog and I'm utterly disguested by something she blogged about. I seldom give links to blog, but this time I must give her due credit. She blogged about this and this. Yanwei, now can you understand when I had this debate with you?

Back on track to Peiting's birthday. Peiting's birthday is not until 2 weeks later, but she celebrated it yesterday because she's leaving for Hong Kong on exchange programme this Wednesday. Chronogically, I should start my story with me receiving her SMS. I was psyched. Peiting was one of my best friends in secondary school. Although we have drifted apart i JC and in uni because of the lack of chance we get to meet up, she remains as one of my confidants and I can say she now seems to know to most of my story of Mr Swirl. Then She sent out an email inviting me to her party at her Grandma's house.

I met up with Yanling before we proceeded to Peiting's party, partly because I wanted to catch up with Yanling, and we had some good chat. And had some dianxin in Harbourfront Mall, and by the way the food from Noodle Hut sucks. I was also finally introduced to her boyfriend, now that he's out of the bag. Well, I shall reserve my comments about him just that as long as he treats Yanling well, I guess he should be okay. En route to Peiting's party we met her course mate along the way and we chatted. It's amazing how well the Communication Studies people can communicate, and how not awkward was it for him to slip into our private conversation.

At Peiting's party, I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Being brutally frank, I had not had a good impression of him when Peiting related their story to me back in those days, and I've always reserved my comments for him, now, being a lot older and experiencing a lot more, I shall say, whatever it takes for them. I might not agree that on off relationships can work, but if it works for them then so be it. Anything's better than being in my present position, so complicated.

Seeing how Andy helped out in Peiting's party, and even her sister's boyfriend, this tinge of sadness hit me. I thought of my own upcoming party, who will be there to help me out? I don't even think that who I want to be at my party would even be at my party, as i've said before, "maybe"="no" and "I'll try"="cmi". Really, what's the use of me holding a party now to think of it? I must well just screw the whole thing up and coop up in my bed and do a Shakespeare. Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf.

One thing I didn't like about Peiting's party was that there were three obvious groups of people segregated, the CDS girls, the 30/02 people, and her uni course mates. Not to mention her family. It feels a bit weird to see different groups so segregated like that and I worry that my party would be somewhat the same, and my individual friends would be left out if they came to my party. I think I better think of something. I had actually wanted to book a function room in Chinese Swimming Club but plans fell through cos CSC will be undergoing renovations and the function room is not open for booking, so there goes my pool party. Sad...

Another thing is that there is only one Peiting, among her dozens of guests and she cannot entertain everyone personally. Guests can entertain themselves pretty well, but what is the point of flitting around the guest and be so superficial on your birthday? I'm not saying that Peiting's superfical, but I'm thinking that that will be what I'd be in my party, and I don't like that. Maybe I'm thinking too much, but well...

The party started with Lihui, Yanling, me and Peiting's coursemate whom me and Yanling met en route to the party playing bridge. Yes, that was our entertainment. Some time between Lihui went to eat and another of Peiting's coursemates took over. The CDS girls caught up with each other, especially me, since I haven't seen them for like the longest time already.

Yanling left the party early with her boyfriend, I recounted ruefully to the girls that once I spent New Year Countdown with Yanling, and sadly now times have changed. hahahaha... We all do age. Cuihua left the party early too. She went countdown with her family. And I was surprised to find that she now calls her "sister's boyfriend" "jiefu", meaning brother-in-law. Time indeed has changes and time waits for no one. Except me, I got left behind some where some time.

Later in the night, I left the party with Xintian, Xinen and Lihui, just nice there were four of us and since the four of us did not want to go anywhere crowded, read my second paragraph above. With four of us making good for a table, we retreated to Xintian's house and had a good game of mahjong. We played from 1030pm, about the started of the Jackie Chan's film on TV and played through the countdown seeing fat Tanya Chua and skinny Fann Wong on TV, and through an old old movie starring Tony Leung, Jordan Chan, Bowie Lam, and Karen Mok. We played two full rounds before Lihui felt tired and wanted to sleep leaving Xintian, Xinen and me playing three people mahjong for one full round before ending the game at 630am.

We played with chips but didn't play money, so there's the thrill but not the pain. We tried making nice nice tiles but ending up doing lots of one tai hu. I even coined a term for the normal hu, "luan luan hu", so throughout I was like saying... "this round I shall play luan luan hu" just like normal people would say "this round I make ping hu" or "pong pong hu" or "chou ping hu" or "shi san yao" or "qing yi se".

It interesting that I haven't seen Xinen and Xintian for like so long and we can just sit and talk and play mahjong the whole night like old friends, okay we are old friends, but it seems like in this context, time cannot fade a relationship. Or should I say, time cannot fade a friendship, or sisterhood... hahaha~

Tips for Persuasive Writing

I had a chat with a very good friend of mine, let her remain anonymous. She wanted to apply for SEP so she asked me for some tips. Well, okay the story started with her toying with the thought of going on exchange, so she consulted her boyfriend who didn't give her much sound advice, neither did he try to help her much in her application and queries about exchange. This is where the good friend comes in, been there done that, only the good friend was able to help~

I talked to her about her choices and her reasons and other options about her exchange and how's she going to go about it and made some concrete planning, all based on my experiences with applying for exchange, though I haven't gone on my exchange yet. I guess my words were more useful than her boyfriend's so this afternoon, she approached my online, and we had the following exchange.

I think I've my way with words, I can make things sound like what I want it to be. Don't know if it's good or not, but I guess it did proved me good in my application for SEP. I lifted this exchange as ad verbitum from my chat window.

says:
joan
says:
fuck.
says:
i thought i could edit again..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
what?
says:
i click submit
says:
and it just went and i can't change anything anymore
says:
fuck fuck fuck
says:
i didn't write anything..
says:
how?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
but ur application is it okay anot?
says:

- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
then try submitting another application?
says:
i nv type the personal statement at all
says:
i was just gg through all the sections..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
or send in an attachment of ur personal statement
says:
thinking that maybe later i can edit
says:
and i can't
says:

- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
send in another application ba...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
or click back
says:
how to??
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
then see if can get back to previous page anot
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u know who is processing ur application anot?
says:
ok..
says:
i clicked back
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
maybe u send ur persona statement to that person
says:
think it works
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
okie...
says:
totally freaked out
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
try sending again
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
relax...
says:
my hands are cold..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
dont worry
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
it wont be as bad as my application the other time
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
my application couldnt even get through lor
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
lol~
says:
har..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
then my application ended up late
says:
really?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
very very late
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
had to go down dean's office to ask for extension
says:
wah
says:
ok........
says:
wad did you write for financial statement?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
it's a letter written by my bank
says:
cuz now actually a lot of things i still ..
says:
dun know..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u need to obtain it from the bank
says:
and the study plan leh?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
online application think dont need that yet
says:
need to do that now?
says:
ok..
says:
then the financial one also dun need?
says:
since it's online?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
study plan is a list of modules u plan to do over in ur partner uni
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i think is dont need financial statement yet
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
but i'm not sure
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u might need to gt it asap from ur bank just in case
says:
okok..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
when u start submitting ur documents
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
like with the transcripts and passport and stuff
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think u might need to do a very rough sketch of ur module mapping also
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
but that not very important
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
just a rough sketch will do
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
the more detailed one will have to be done only after u r accepted
says:
okok.. thank you joan
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
no prob...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i gg to sleep now
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
if anything impt u call me
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
if not ask me at 430
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i waking up at 430
says:
okies
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
jiayou~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
just relax
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
dont panic can liao le~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:

- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
so how is it gg along?
- xxoos burning on a stake - auto-message: koon-ing... will wake up at 430, drop me a message and i'll reply u then~
says:
wake up le ah?
says:
so fast?
says:
i typing..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
yea...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
okay la... 430 liao le...
sends:
Open(Alt+P)
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
still at the personal statement?
says:
yah

You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\My Documents\New Folder\exchange application.doc from xxx@hotmail.com.

- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
dont use want
says:
then?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
use would like instead
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
prefer
says:
ok
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
sounds more polite
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hehehe
says:
okok
says:
i would prefer to go for exchange?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i would like
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think all ur wants can change to would like, better
- xxoos burning on a stake - auto-message: koon-ing... will wake up at 430, drop me a message and i'll reply u then~ says:
ok..
says:
u thk sufficient?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
wait ah...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
. I feel I am deprived of art and design museums and galleries in Singapore since there is only one art museum and I want to go to the numerous art and design galleries there.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
there is something very wrong with this sentence
says:
ok
says:
i thk so too..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u try something like this...
says:
but dunno how to put it..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
in contrast to singapore, where there is only a single art museum, there are numerous art museums over in italy, and this sheer amount of more collection of art and design peices really whets deprivation
- xxoos burning on a stake - auto-message: koon-ing... will wake up at 430, drop me a message and i'll reply u then~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hahahaha...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
does this sound somewhat better?
says:
yep..
says:
but i dun understand the last part...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
or maybe u can ignore the and this sheer number part...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
cos was trying to make ur deprivation sound somewhat less repressed
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
lol~
says:
haa
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
wait i look at ur second para
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
I like it that Milan is an international city with a great mix of people and culture.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u can reshape this sentence
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i think now the main problem of ur personal statement it sounds a bit amatuer
says:
how can i show that i like the environment?
- xxoos burning on a stake - auto-message: koon-ing... will wake up at 430, drop me a message and i'll reply u then~
says:
yeah..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
try not starting sentences with "i"
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
instead something like this...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
milan is an international city with a great mix of people and culture, and i think this would open up my experiences by being able to come into contact with them
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
or whatever is ur reason for liking this international environment
says:
ok
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
Italy is a country with a strong history of art yet it is also known for its avant garde artists and designers.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think "and" instead of "yet" sounds more appropriate, does it?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
cos it's avant garde is also about art, right?
- xxoos burning on a stake - auto-message: koon-ing... will wake up at 430, drop me a message and i'll reply u then~
says:
um.. the thing is that the history is what is pulling them back from becoming more wealthy? bogged(sp?) down by history?
says:
not moving..
says:
history = past? avant garde =future?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
how about "and yet"?
says:
2 in 1?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
cos i'm not very sure about art
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
and from a layman reading it, it sounds like avant garde is not art?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
dunno...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
this u decide ba...
says:
okie~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
future development
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
can elaborate on ur future development
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
like say what field u intend to pursue after graduation?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
The university is specialised in architecture and industrial design courses and I firmly believe I will also learn much from there.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
this is very good a cause, but u can highlight ur field of study to further emphasise on ur cause
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hehehe...
says:
hmm... field of study is not industrial design meh?
says:
i should be more specified?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
maybe a sentence like this might sound more pushy?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
being an industrial design student, being able to go to a university specialised in architectual and industrialdesign, ....
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
emphasise on u being an industrial design student
says:
ok
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
yup~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
I will pick up Italian to equip myself.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
how about using other synonyms like "plan", "intend"?
says:
ok
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
can vary ur choice of words
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
yup~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hmm...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
did u miss out anything about urself?
says:
i think my content is more or less like that only... a bit weak?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
okay, i just did a word count, 267 dont really sound enough leh...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think u need to at least double that
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
lol~
says:
wah..
says:
ok..
says:
needa go think of more things..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i send u mine
says:
ok
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think i sounded like a bit the persuasive in mine
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
but it's only 405 words
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
so i think u try hitting like 400 words?
says:
OK

You cannot send this file because it appears to be in use. Close the program using this file and try again.

Sending of "SEP intro.doc" to xxx@hotmail.com has failed.

- xxoos burning on a stake - sends:


Transfer of "SEP intro.doc" is complete.

- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i dont think there's much to copy from my content
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
it's my a bit the persuasive style of writing
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
lol~
says:
........
says:
yeah..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
actually hor, i dont know if it's good anot, but it seemed to work for me
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
lol~
says:
ok lah..
says:
i think i have an idea..
says:
you know wad..
says:
i think my abiltiy to write and communicate deterioates as i age
says:
you know, when i read my pri sch compositions, i cannot believe i wrote them.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hahahaha...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
no la...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think is u do too much art and design then forget hoe to write liao le
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
lol~
says:
yeah
says:
i guess so
says:
i cannot believe i could write geography essays in sec sch
says:
kao.
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
haha...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
dont think about that liao le la...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
think about what else u can put into ur statement
says:
emphasize the importance of italy in the history of art
says:
and why i want to go to this place with long history? cuz i want to know where all starts?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
can...
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u plan to travel anot?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
cos milan is in quite a central european position so easy to travel
says:
i hope so..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
can put that down if u plan to travel
says:
OK
says:
i thought of gg france..
says:
cuz nearby also
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
yup~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u can note down the proximity of milan as compared to other italian states to france
says:
what do you think if i say that right now i think what i lack in design is vibrancy?
says:
like..
says:
my works are getting boring..
says:
although they still look nice enough..
says:
not enough idea
says:
gg to be dead
says:
and hoping milan will provide good inspiration? and excitement?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i think that would be great
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
a change in environment and everything~
says:
wah..
says:
thk that's abt it..
says:
you think i should talk about my capabilities?
says:
necessary?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
what sort of capabilities?
says:
that i can draw?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
erm...
says:
i take watercolour class outside under a fairly well-known singaporean artist?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u did mention that u are an art student right?
says:
out of point?
says:
just interested..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
actually, u can mention ur watercolour class
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
i think that sounds very interesting
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
u can put in just after ur passion thingie
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
to emphasise about how passionate u r
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
and the length u willing to go to achieve ur passion
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hehehe
says:
ok.. good good..
says:
u thk they will be interested in portfolio?
says:
should i mention it?
says:
or wait till interview?
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
can too~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
maybe for interview u can bring about ur portfolio
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
actually i dont know if u will have interview anot cos i didnt have one
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
but it might be because i'm an lpp student
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
mayybe u will have
says:
ok..
says:
thk that shld be enough ba..
says:
i'll go rephrase everything later..
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
yup~
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
jiayou~
says:
now needa go.. mtg siew kuang
says:
yup
says:
thanks joan
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
no probbies~
winks:
Play "Kiss"
- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
hahaha...
says:

- xxoos burning on a stake - says:
byebye~

Notice I pepper lots of "yup~" and "that's great" in my sentences, that's a kind of encouragement, I guess, and the use of rhetorical questions, it's like consulting the other party for their opinion but in actual fact pushing forward your own opinion. Communication is a skill, a very intriculate skill.

I really wish all the best to my friend in her exchange programme application~

Another thing I want to talk about of communication is the use of body language. The above mentioned friend was relating to me an incident. She and our other friend went to visit our dance instructor who was hospitalised. Our other friends did not know that she was attached, but the dance instructor read from her body language and questioned her if she got attached. I remembered another incident regarding my present drama instructor. From reading my body language, he had read my problems and gave me an advice without asking me about my problems, he simply just told me that I needed a closure, which was very spot on. Is it something to do with these performing arts people that they are so good in using the actions and body language to communicate? Amazing...

I now have yet acquired that skill, the only thing I'm good at is writing, or rather crafting of words to fit my motive.

This is my personal statement. I wouldn't say it is well written cos of the circumstances I wrote it, but I think it is adequately crafted.

Actually, I am a European Studies major, but apparently there is no such of a choice in the above choices. I would wish to make use of the opportunity to go overseas, to Europe, so that I can on first hand learn more about the countries there and their language and culture.

I am currently learning German language so being able to go to Germany would help me make use of what I have learn in my classes. Also, it could serve as an enhancement of what I have learnt, not just the language, but also my other European Studies module. All along, I have great interest in European history which is also my main focus of my European Studies discipline, and I believe that Germany holds a pivotal role in European history, therefore my interest in going to Germany for this exchange programme and my learning of the German language.

I think I would make a good ambassador of not only NUS, and also Singapore and able to promote local culture overseas. I am effectively bilingual and able to communicate effectively in English and Chinese. Also, being part of the exco of NUS Chinese Drama, my mission is to promote Chinese and Chinese culture. I hope that by being part of this exchange programme I can spread Chinese culture overseas and also in the meantime being able to learn more about German culture from the locals there.

As a SEP LPP student who went on the Immersion last June, it is that I have to go on an SEP to Germany as part of an agreement when I was awarded the award. Also, my previous experience in Germany was an extremely pleasant one and I really hope that I can make another trip back there. As part of the programme, I was in Freiburg last June and it was a very rewarding experience. Hence, the University of Freiburg is one of my choices for this SEP. However, I am more interested in going to the University of Heidelberg instead as I had also visited that town and really loved the ancient feel of the place. Another of my choices is the University of Munich. I chose that as one of my choices as Munich is a footballing city and being in a footballing city during the time of the World Cup would not only be an eye opener but also a very fun experience.

In fact, my conveyner thought I was being brutally truthful and showed my personal statement, the part about me and my football craze to the other lecturers around and they totally dif my football joke, or do they see me as a joke? Heck, I'm the one going to be in Germany during the 2006 World Cup now anyway, not them~ Bleahz...

My own experience of SEP application can be found here. A traumatic read I should say. I guess everyone's application is that traumatic, perhaps if mine wasn't that traumatic I wouldn't have been able to give that sound an advice to my dear friend.