Wednesday, May 06, 2009

"Luck is all I need"

Joan took the Which Singaporean Elite School Do You Belong To? quiz and the result is Dunman High School

You think that you are different from other elite schools.You probably know the difference between a yangqin and a liuqin. You believe that you are better than them, as evident in your world-views and personal experiences. And in most cases, you are right. That is until you find yourself inevitably sucked into the rat race. You sometimes resent yourself for turning into the competitive and unfeeling creature that you really are not. Otherwise, you are generally good-natured, kind-hearted and frown upon vicious competition. In your quiet moments, you think "Luck is all I need".

---

I always thought myself as different from other people. I imagined a life of glitz and glam, yet relaxed and comfy, it's all part of the living in the east kind of suburban lifestyle. I wanted to be a writer, and publish hot-selling books, and have them sold across the world, maybe translated into different languages. I could do my books in both English and Chinese with little problems. I'd be sleeping in the day and working at night, I'd be meeting friends for high tea, and maybe even with a acessory kid in a chic stroller, I'd be bringing my laptop down to the beach to view the sunset and the plot unfolds before my eyes. Home would be a smallish but cute condo tucked somewhere in the East. Along the way Hollywood would pick up my stories and adapt them into full length motion pictures. Book tours, readings, discussions, seminars, all of them would follow...

Well, as life proceeds on, all I can see in my future is a stable job in the civil service, a HDB flat in Sengkang, marriage, a kid, maybe an upgrade to an executive condo in Buangkok, another kid, continue on with my job and get long service awards for 10 years, 20 years, watch my kids grow old and get sucked into the same kind of lifestyle as myself, grow old, retire, live on my CPF and maybe my kids, pray hard I don't fall sick, die. Great...

*stares at the pile of manuscripts in front*

If only I have an agent, or maybe a publisher, just one big break for me to make it big... And I know I have the talent for it!

I read widely, I read in both languages. I love my Donna Leon books as much as my Liang Yusheng's. I know the difference between Jin Yong and Gu Long. I can even read traditional Chinese characters in the up to down, right to left format. I have lots of wonderful ideas and interesting plots which pan out inside my head. I've a pile of manuscripts collecting dust somewhere. I have a life before me... So where am I?

Honestly, I have no idea...