sucks...

I have been trying my best to prevent my life from falling into a routine, but somehow certain aspects of life seem to have been mechanised.

I have been trying my best not to think about the release of A level results, but a nagging sensation at the back of my head seems to have planned for the worst-case circumstance. My blog entry for that day will consist of four letters only—F U C K.

I have been trying my best not to procrastinate, but I have just been procrastinating this resolution.

I have been trying my best not to feel lonely, but sometimes I just cannot help but feel lonely and I need something more than physical company, some sort of an emotional company to prevent myself from falling apart.

I have been trying my best to enjoy life to the fullest, but it seems the more I try the more empty I feel. 19 years of life, I cannot think of one thing that I can be proud of.

I have been trying my best to plan ahead for the future, to map out my whole career path, but the one thing I am striving for seems to be so distant and I cannot help but start thinking of alternatives. The singer Jewel once said that it was by not preparing any alternatives that made her even more determined to succeed in her singing career because she knew that once she made backup plans she would tend to fall into that trap. If so, am I destined to fail?

I have been trying my best to put all the unhappy memories behind me and start over again, but there is no one there to stretch out a helping hand. And I just fall deeper into a vicious cycle of my emotional blackhole.

Like. Don't Like.

I like being able to help my customers.

I like being able to answer my customers’ questions.

I like it when after asking if my customer has Robinsons’ card, he takes it out and thus being able to enjoy special discounts.

I like it when my supervisor asks me to help her.

But then again,

I dont like packing stuff.

I dont like folding clothes.

I dont like making mistakes.

I dont like customers who think they are the king and/or queen of the universe.

work. sian.

I have started working again. I dont like it.

I thought that perhaps I could do more cashiering this time, but I am so so wrong. I ended up doing more packing than ever. I had to pack bottles after bottles, tubes after tubes, boxes after boxes of facial wash, shampoo, shower foam, hand cream, masks, blah. Lunch was staggered, so poor little me had to have lunch alone. Luckily, the people there are quite nice and understanding and I was also let off on time, without having to complete what I was doing.

The best thing is that I am off today and tmr. What a nice duty roster... haha... I hope when I return back to work I can get to do more cashiering, but I dont think that would happen. We are now preparing for our sales and need more manpower to do the horrible packing and arranging and blah, the cashier counters are left unattended, only when there are customers then the cashiers will rush over to the counters and even then it is usually the more experienced staff that do the cashiering. haiz...

If only I can strike the lottery, or marry some rich guy, or something similar, then I can spend the rest of my life slacking around in luxury... ...

Christmas time is a sad time

Memories can be most painful yet dear to us.

Last Christmas, I took a friend out of my annual Christmas Card Mailing List because I wanted to wipe that person out from me. I want to just forget everything and carry on with life without having a constant unhappy feeling at the back of my head. Like what is the use of being friends when they are only for betrayal? If so, why bother being friends at all? Haiz... Until now, I have quite succeeded in removing that friend from my life.

After Christmas, I had decided to erase another person out of my memory and take out that name from my annual list end this year. When I make friends, I would always put my heart and soul into that friendship, but sometimes what you put in is not what you get. If that person really doesnt want to remain friends with me, I dont see a need for me to be so thick-skinned.

Lately, I have deliberated over the issue of friends again. I have finally made another heart-wrenching decision to take another person out of my end year list. After being on the list for 7 years, the decision to pull that name out is not for me to forget but for the other party to forget. A card represents much care and concern, especially at this digital age. By ceasing the reception of future cards is to put an end to the reception of care and concern. Some people might think this will be very mean of me to do so, but after much consideration I think that it would be meaner for me to continue showing that care and concern when it has the potential of becoming a heavy burden. I have decided to ease my friend’s burden and shoulder it myself... ...

Maybe if I can remove the latter from my memory, I would live a more cheerful life, but this action would also remove some of my most treasured moments. Deciding between two evils, I can only do what I do best, procrastinate. By procrastinating such an act, I more tend to fall back into the past and live in a pseudo-utopian world I created, and then I would continue procrastinating... A vicious cycle which I am still trapped inside... The only possible way to escape from this vicious can only be an ending from fairy tales. In Sleeping Beauty, the Prince fought with the evil Witch and finally kill her to remove the curse and save the Princess from eternal unconsciousness with a kiss... ...

Wherefore art thou, my dear Prince...

On the Trail of Wangfei

One of my New Year resolution was to be a more ardent fan of Wubai and Wangfei which until now I am proud to say I am doing it. Friends who have had their birthdays have seen my fanatics, poor Victoria and Yanling should also understand after accompanying me on a disappointing queuing up expedition at Plaza Singapura on Sunday and at Junction8 ytd. I would really like to send my utmost thanks the both Victoria, having to endure sun and horrible PRCs, and Yanling, having to endure 9hours of boredom and an evil PRC, for queuing with me just to see dear Faye.

Sad to say, I am utterly disappointed with the PRCs in Singapore... ... They are like a bunch of kiasu (really, who said Singaporeans are kiasu is totally wrong!), queue-cutting, evil-mouthed, self-centred assholes man! Cant wait to boot all of them out of my sight! But have also met some other more decent fans who really are able to queue for longer periods just to support Faye. Way to go!!!

Although in her 35th year, Faye doesnt boast the looks of her age. She seems to have put on weight in her cheeks yet her legs are just as thin as ever. My legs are just monstrous beside hers... She is now sporting a short haircut, but I think a longer permed one looks nicer on her, well, just my thoughts. She is still not very fond of speaking and has an embarrassed look every time we scream out her name. Just as the Faye we know... ...

Last Life of the Universe

An introduction of a fascinating movie I watched yesterday.

Title:
Last Life in the Universe (in Japanese, Thai, and English with Chinese and English subtitles)

Directed by:
Pen-Ek Ratanaruang

Starring:
Asano Tadanobu (a film actor who so dedicated to film-making that he never acted in any TV drama which is most unlike the typical Japanese actor)
Sinitta Boonyasak
Laila Boonyasak

Cinematography by:
Christopher Doyle (an award-winning cinematographer favoured by dear Wong Kar Wai

Basic plot of the story:
Kenji, a suicidal and obsessive librarian, after killing someone goes off into hiding with Noi with just knocked dead her own sister. Being with each other for 3 days, Kenji and Noi slowly finds light in their lives.

Other draws to the film:
* Very solid acting from the cast. Asano Tadanobu even won the best actor award for this film in the prestigious Venice Film Festival. Highly engaging interaction between Asano Tadanobu and Sinitta Boonyasak as neither speaks each other’s language and had to resort to using a third language which neither speaks well. This language handicap greatly brings out the best of their acting.
* The use of comic relief in this film adds a jarring and disturbing effect which, too, heightens the presentation of the ideas the director wants to bring forth
* The seed for this story, the reason for the title of this film, was from a children’s picture book entitled The Last Lizard which is the basis for this film. A lizard wakes up one day to find that all the other lizards were gone. He was the last lizard left. His family was gone; his friends were gone; and even his enemies were gone too. The lizard felt lonely and there was no one, not even an enemy, for him to talk to. He would rather have his enemies around him than be all by himself. Perhaps both Kenji and Noi, and even Noi’s sister, Nid, saw themselves in a similar position as the lizard.
* The Straits Times Life! movie correspondent, Ong Sor Fern, gave this film a five-star rating.

$1million

I would really like to share with all my friends news that I am one of the lucky 11 ppl who won the group 1 prize of today’s Toto. Although the prize money is $9 000 000 short of my expectations, I must admit I am absolutely delighted with my win. I will still spend the money according to the proportions I had previously meted out.

***
No matter how much I would really like to share that above piece of news, I am afraid I cant do so as I can only like what the title of this blog suggests, I can only build castles in the clouds.

Maybe I should change the title of this blog to reflect what I really want, not so much of building castles in the clouds, but building solid castles with stable foundations... ...

musings~

It is always good to meet up with old friends and have a good afternoon chat. Meeting up with the cds ppl ytd made me realise how fast time have past and how much our perspectives of life have changed. Most of us are working liao and somehow during our catching up, issues of our work were always brought up. I wonder if that would become the main topic of our discussions for years to come, especially if we still meet up regularly after our uni ed.

I wonder what will become of us in 10 years. Will I be happy with my job and able too feed myself well with that job? Will I manage to find a suitable beau and get married and have kinds? Will I grow wrinkles or put on weight or start wearing ah-soh kinds of clothes? Or will I just end up as a pathetic lonely soul, fed up with my work but yet need it to live? Or maybe life is so unpredictable that I might just die in an accident or contract some fatal disease like bird flu and leave the world before that 10 years... ...

Haiz... Really shouldnt be that pessimistic leh... Okay, to be more optimistic, maybe I will just win this Thursday’s Toto and become a multi-millionaire and need not work for the rest of my life! When (note: the use of when and not if!) I strike Toto, after tax-deductions, I will put 80% of it in a fixed-interest deposit to ensure that the money can last me as long as I live, 14% will go to my education fund. With the money, I can pursue my dreams of furthering a performing arts education at a nice liberal arts school, maybe in US or Australia or even UK. Then I will spend the remaining 1% on luxury goods to really pamper myself. A Louis Vuitton bag, a Burberry trench coat, Chanel underwear, Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and most importantly a nice dinner at Jade for my family!

this tone of voice...

There is this tone of voice that I sometimes would use to retort. At its very best it is a dismissive tone, rather nonchalant, but at its worst it is more of caustic and biting. I use it when I am unsure if a remark is supposed to be sarcastic or just a friendly joke. I also use it to test out if people are having negative thoughts about me through their reaction to my tone of voice. But using this tone can sometimes prove to be dangerous as it can easily lead to a communication breakdown.

There was this one time I used it to Zihui. She said something to me during a Maths lecture which I supposed it to be a playful sarcasm, so it used that tone to retort back, but she didnt take it well and continued the banter which didnt go well with me although we werent exactly in a badmouthing stage. Luckily, we managed to use clear up the mess of that communication breakdown by the end of that lecture without much damage to our friendship.

I didnt learn from my mistake and still like to often use that tone of voice to test grounds or when Im pissed but dont want to offend the other party. But there was another communication breakdown again with another person. This time it was because I was unsure if my friend’s remark was supposed to be sarcastic or just a friendly joke and I was a bit pissed that those words were said, so I used that tone. It turned out that that tone didnt go down with either of us and I became very very pissed. I dont know if my friend meant those words, but it really pained me. Sometimes people would say things they dont mean, but to the person who hears those words it might have been very painful. Just like I took my friend’s words to heart, my words might also hurt other before. I would like to just let every one of my friends know that Im sorry, if my words ever hurt them in any way.

Maybe, I shouldnt use that tone of voice anymore... But then again, not using that tone of voice would make me feel quite vulnerable... ...

Oh purple rain, please don't cry...

Heard a very old but nice song on tv. Chyi Chin’s Purple Rain, Zi3Yu3, its some old tv serials ending song. I remember Id used to like that song, but when was it, I cant remember. Possibly the mid-90s when there was a blossom of nice songs, the golden era of Chinese music when music was about great melodies and meaningful lyrics. Which album was Purple Rain from? Anyone has that CD?

Chyi Chin used to sing rather well, from what I remember of his songs. His songs also remind me of the Wubai kind of music, except that Wubai has a complete band to play music for him. Another thing I remember of Chyi Chin was his romance with Joey Wong. During the decade they were together, there were numerous reports that they had secretly got hitched in America or something similar, but all along, they never got married. Then there would be reports that they broke up and others would say they got back together and so on. Finally, that was it, a report revealing that Chyi Chin had a son borne by an ex-girlfriend. All along, Chyi Chin had this devoted lover image, no matter how badly Joey Wong spoke of him during their “off” periods, he would still say that Joey Wong was the person he truly loves. After that damned report, which Chyi Chin finally acknowledged, there were varying rumours that the couple was going ahead with their marriage plans and that Joey Wong dumped Chyi Chin. Only God really knew what was going on between them. Some time later, Joey Wong publicly admitted that their relationship was officially over. Even so, Chyi Chin still openly pined for the fair maiden.

Did Joey Wong dump Chyi Chin because of his past? Or were there really irreconcilable differences between them? Well, everyday folks like us will probably never know and it will never affect us personally in any way...

Sometimes I wonder, really, how does a relationship end? Especially relationships that lasted for many many years, I mean, after that many years wont you have fully understood and accepted that person? There is also the case of Ekin Cheng, he too ended a decade-old relationship for another person... Why, even after that long a time period, the relationship is still so fragile? In Japan, statistically, middle-aged people who have been married for over 20 years have registered the highest number of divorces. Why?!

My Chinese Birthday

Today the 6th day of the first lunar month is my Chinese birthday. Well, according to Chinese belief, I should have eaten longevity noodles with an egg for lunch just now, but instead, as nobody had remembered my Chinese birthday, I ate fish fillet and sausage omelette for lunch. I even had to cook the omelette myself! What a pathetic way to have lunch on a birthday...

Then again, who actually celebrates their Chinese birthday? I mean, like how many people even know when is their Chinese birthday? Or their Eight Characters? Ancient Chinese have a belief that everything on earth is predestined when one is born, so, our Eight Characters actually holds the key to our whole meaning of existence on earth. Our Eight Characters includes the year of our birth, the month, the day, and the time, each denotation consists of two characters, hence its name, the Eight Characters.

sian sian sian!!!

over with the dumb SATs liao... dont think i will actually do well, but deep down i do hope i can do well, at the very lest better than my previous score.

i went to acjc, not knowing anyone, not knowing what to do, but luckily i met these two tj students who were very friendly, sunni and nikita, from 0103! thanks! it turned out that there are many tj people around, at least 20% of the people there were from tj, and were wearing school uniform. i can only guess that there were many more in plain clothes. the rest were ac students, but mostly ex-ac students, ya, the whole lot were retaking that dumb test.

from now on, i am very free liao. and i badly want to go out!!! friends, where are you?! can any little body ask poor joan out? shopping?! lunch?! dinner?! anything?! i am damn bored!!!

gongxi gongxi

gong xi fa cai!
wan shi ru yi!

i wore the racial harmony day outfit with the oriental wooden slip-ons to the hyatts grand reunion dinner just now. well, 50% of the guests there wore mandarin or pseudo-mandarin outfits, of which 70% of the female guests wore that and 95% of the kids under 12, so i didnt look out of place in that outfit. took a whole lot of pix, of me and my family and of the glorious food. will be putting them up on my blog asap after i learn how to do it. my father recommended me to do it through frontpage, but well, i will have to see how far my limited computer knowledge can bring me to. till then... ...

for now, its pure word descriptions! heehee... first dish, yusheng, need not say anything about it. second dish, golden suckling pig, with sweet sauce and egg wrap like those for peking duck kind. oh man, cant wait to show the pix... third dish, you people are so so going to envy me, sharks fin soup with fish maw, the soup is the clear soup kind, not the starched kind and the sharks fin is the whole piece kind, not the individual strand kind, wow, you should see it man! well, pix coming out asap... fourth dish, abalone in coconut, its a very tropical looking dish, but fell short of expectations, only one (quite thick though) slice of abalone with sea cucumber, crab meat, dried scallops and white fungus, okay lah, still a top dish, only that i would prefer it if the abalone was whole... there was also oysters with whole mushrooms, fried prawns in wasabi mayo sauce (only a tinge of wasabi taste so it was just perfect!), korean-styled noodles, and of course the dessert buffet!!! i took a whole lot more photos, cant wait to let everyone ee the wonderful chocolate fountain, strawberry cheesecakes, tiramisu, chocolate mousse, mango pudding and a whole range of icecream. not forgetting other desserts such as tangyuan, berry pies and traditional new year snacks... ...

the whole atmosphere there was very festive as the hotel invited acrobats, a magician (a very lousy one though, his tricks were all seen through by my cousins and we ended up dissing the poor magician throughout), a chinese orchestra, and a lion dance troop. each guest was also given a 200g 4 by 7 white/milk chocolate bar as door gift. really, this dinner, priced at approximately $90 per head was like 10 times more worth it than our pathetic prom dinner (though they are of a different kind of atmosphere). interested? next year perhaps can suggest that to your parents/grandparents?

Fallen Angel Cries...

this is it.

the name of this blogskin coincidentally is a wong kar wai movie title. 1996, starring leon lai and takeshi kaneshiro, it is one of two wong kar wai movies without tony leung chiu wai involved. fallen angels, or duo4 luo4 tian1 shi3, is about hong kong prostitutes, and like most other wongs movies, the plot is forgettable. the blogskin was done by someone called wah_biangz, due credit must be given. i dont know if wah_biangz is a guy or girl, only that that person should be 18 this year, and i strongly suspect that wah_biangz is a singaporean. i mean, which other peoples in the world would call themselves wah_biangz man. here, im bowing three times to wah_biangz in gratitude of this wonderful skin which i think really expresses my deep felt sentiments. with a blog titled castle in the clouds, this angel is now degenerated, only able to pine for the clouds... ...

okay, enough of all the introduction. i hereby proclaim myself yet again unemployed! im done with the stint with john little, made many new friends, some others would be jerlin, julius, jin rong, willy... but ive also met some really qigek people, like this dumb sub packer whom i dont know his name, and dont want to know anyway. he was me and sherrys sub packer for 45min on sunday when our packers when for dinner. in the first min, he had already pissed me off with his lack of common sense. i had this customer who bought over $200 worth of items and my counter was overflowing with lots of small items, so i asked the dear dumb packer to help me pack the stuff first since sherrys customer had only bought a single bag which sherry could easily pack it herself, but my dear dumb packer started ranting that since sherrys customer had only one item, he wanted to pack that first. nevermind that, but he continued ranting that i treated him as if he was a thousand-handed guanyin. like come on man, what your problem?!

okay, i didnt mind that, but not long after, i needed some help with the nets machine as it ran out of paper, and i could not fit the paper in, i asked him if he knew how to do it, he tried but couldnt do it, but later muttered under his breath that feeding paper into the nets machine was supposed to be my job and why wasnt i able to do it. i was so shocked when i heard that, so i asked him what did he mean by that, he was like ohh nothing, i was just talking to myself. hey, if you are not happy say it out lah, what do you mean by saying in that manner?! like you are so great meh?

being a cashier, i had to retain my composure and smile to all my customers even though i was boiling inside. but i did almost lose my cool at one point in time when i was almost done with a customer, left with only one item to scan. my dumb packer was like telling me to just press 3. i mean, press what 3?! only one item was left why did i need to press 3? he went over to my keyboard and pressed function 3, repeat line, cos that item was the same with the previous item. he said that that would have been much faster, but really, walking to the key board and pressing that button was slower that me scanning that item. i told him off, he was damn displeased and started ranting under his breath. really, if there werent many customers, he would have been dead meat!

xumin was also pissed off with him when she came by my counter to collect the used plastic shopping bags and asked him if he could compress those bags when he dumped them in her bag. ya, he started ranting again. sherry was also quite unhappy when our place was filled with plastic bags (my legs was literary buried under those plastic bags) and he ranted that our counter was like a rubbish dump. in actual fact, he was supposed to be the one clearing the bags, but he didnt do it. he blamed us. but when we have long queue of customers behind us, we really couldnt do anything about it. thanks a lot im never seeing him ever again!

but luckily, that 45min was the only bad thing that happened to me during my 8 days of work. also, i got the chance to touch and see a $1000 note, purple in colour, with a picture of the government house on it, and a US$100 note, a true greenback...

looking forward: dinner at hyatts tmr night. chocolate fountain, here i come!!! but then again, i recently gained some weight again, my pantes became tighter. damn scared leh... sekali after tmr night i cant wear my new clothes then how arh?! die... i think i better not eat lunch, keep my stomach empty for dinner, so so looking forward to it! poor friends, i promise to give a full account of my meal in great detail asap so you can imagine yourself eating them. till then, you may quench your appetite with my 12 jan's piece! *giggles* *more giggles* *most giggles*

Warehouse Sales at the Expo

my arms and back are so so tired from all the heavy manual work setting up the wares for sales. my legs are tired from all the walking and standing around over long periods of time. my butt aches from all the long periods of time sitting on the cold hard expo ground. the term cashier was in fact a farce as basically i didnt do much cashiering, i did do some, but most of the time is doing odd works and trying out different ways to skive off work while apparently doing work.

the only thing good that came out of this stint was the friends id made. the girls ive befriends on tues and wed, rose, felicia, andrea, jaime, colleen, it was fun hanging out with them thinking of ways to do work when we werent doing anything at all. confused? an example, packing and folding clothes allowed us to have an excuse to sit of the floor, so we took a box of clothes, tagged them, folded them, sorted them in designs and colours, packed them neatly into the box, all at extremely slow speeds, then emptied the box, and packed them all over again. another example, when we were supposed to put up signages, we took the different signs and walked all around the expo hall looking as though we were finding suitable positions to put them up when we were in fact just blindly walking around and chatting. okay, i aint that lazy! it was just that most of the stuff we were supposed to do had been done and there was nothing to do but we cant blatantly just sit around and do nothing so we had to think of these ways to occupy ourselves!

finally, today i got to touch the cash till and serve customers. n i hell screwed them all up man! i broke down on the first customer i served. i was like so damn slow, made a whole lot of mistakes, and had to trouble my poor in-charge siew geok to help me clear up the mess while i had to endure pissed look of that dear customer. i fumbled on my first customer paying by nets too. id just blanked out on how to operate that stupid machine and had to call in siew geok again. luckily this customer was very easy going and he n his friend actually could joke with me being a pathetic greenhorn. well, to redeem myself, my cashiering skills actually improved along with the number of customers id served. yay!

n i did make more friends today. there is fellow cashier sherry whom i slacked around with today after id got ridden of my cashiering duties, my dear packer ser yang from ntu who had to work for his hostel hall, some other slacking merchandise clearer thian boon and his friend who took sherry and i on a slacking expedition around the expo hall, a poor san who had to sort out ladies wear all by himself until sherry, colleen and i went over to skive by apparently helping him, and many more other fellow slacking souls. another redemption was that john little really employed too many temp staff this time.

working at this expo sales really introduced many different kinds of people to me and it let me see how unreasonable some singaporeans can be. there was this old malay woman who wanted to buy a whole lot of crockery and insisted to the cashier that it is cheaper than we thought so when we knew matter of factly that we were correct. that woman insisted on seeing our in-charge, and when told over and over again the correct price, she decided to leave that big box of breakable items with us and continued shopping while thinking if she still wanted those goods. she came back to that same counter again with another box of similar crockery and said she didnt want the previous box when basically both are of the same items with the same price. really damn kanasai one!!!

the most head shaking people are those women who pick up bags and bags of clothes over to a corner then slowly pick and decide which ones do they really want, then just dump the rest of the clothes around. some women are even more impressive. since this john little sale is not equipped with fitting rooms, those women would pick up bags of clothes over to one side and try them on over their clothes, under their clothes, and when picking out clothes for children, they treated the whole expo area as one big fitting room. those poor kids. by the mid day, most kids were visibly bored stiff. one little boy around 2 years was so fed up with his mother that he kept walking away from her to sherry, colleen and me picking up hangers for us. like duh?! but because we were as bored as him, we humoured him. like even more duh?!

if only there were like some shuai ges around, maybe work will be more fun. but basically the guys there are like so so pathetic, not to mention short, like double the patheticness. haiz...

daydreaming of cny eve

the eve of chinese new year, reunion dinner at hyatt.

hahaha... just thinking about it makes me feel so so good! yu sheng. waited one whole year for it and finally i will be eating it like soon. sharks fin soup. still thinking of the one i had at the oriental last september/october when i went for a wedding dinner and now i can have it again. abalone. with all those skylight, new moon, fortune, blah blah adverts on tv, i want mine too. but the one thing that im like so so dying for and which is a speciality of most hyatt dinners is their dessert buffet! i remember one reunion dinner at hyatt, there was this chocolate fountain a la charlie and the chocolate factory... ... aww... *joan floating somewhere in heaven liao*

okay, earth to joan! the present most important thing is to come up with the perfect outfit to wear for the occasion. my mother wants me to wear what i wore for racial harmony day cos its a chinese new year celebration, for those who cant remember what i wore or didnt see me in that outfit, its a light pink sleeveless qipao top with a baby pink ankle length skirt. well, now the only thing im pondering is what shoes to match. should i wear my silver daniel yam heels or a reddish brown wooden craved with patterns slip-ons with silver finish. the daniel yam heels would be classy enough for the event, i mean, its at hyatt! but the wooden slip-ons has an oriental touch to complete the cheena look my mother want me to have for that day. comments?

well, either shoe i put on will still allow me to indulge in my favourites... really, who cares if sharks are facing extinction. really, who cares if you will see two joans after cny. okay, joan cares for the latter, but she will lose the extra joan straight after all the cny dinners.

sian day

want to scale new heights of the art of procrastination? learn a trick or two from the master herself. can you beat this procrastination record? id just sent my prom dress for drycleaning ytd, after one month and five days! then i went back down to tj to pass a book to my junior. seeing the newbies and the poor year 2s, i felt a certain sense of achievement, finally, i need not suffer like them anymore! hahaha...

after that, i could have went straight back home and slack another day with my tv set, but after talking to eunice, hearing her planning to go shopping for black skirts with yingling, i decided to go with them. they were going to the robinsons sale at the expo to get black skirts to wear for their banquet job at some hotel, kudos to them for finally finding a job! well, i didnt get any skirt, but being one who really likes buying things, i got myself a pair of jeans. okay, to redeem myself, the jeans was a necessity because now i can only wear one pair of pants out of all those my mother and i own. in a way, id treat it as a good piece of new as it meant that ive lost weight! yay! my waist is slimmer!

but yingling and eunice couldnt get everything they needed there so we made a trip to tampines. and the inherent shopper inside me got the better of things and i bought a pair of boots there, from everbest. the original price of the boots was $79.90 but the shop was having a 10% storewide discount, and as there was some marks on the shoe(which were cleaned away after some wiping so it wasnt a big deal), the salesgirl gave me another 10% off. but the story didnt just end there, cos the salesgirl in the end charged me $69.90 for the boots, which after the 20% discount costs only about $55. what a steal! i will match my new boots with the esprit outfit my aunt bought for me some weeks ago or with the esprit dress i bought on a 20% discount, or... suddenly, i cant wait for new year, i can get to wear all my nice new clothes...

speaking of nice new clothes, ive got this pair of op boardshorts free from my sisters friend. my sisters friend (a guy) likes this girl and bought a whole lot of gifts for her for her birthday, but as she didnt like him, she only accepted a pencil case from him. faced with the rest of the items, he can only give them away. and inheriting my maxim of no take whit no take(translate it into chinese literarily), my sister brought home the boardshorts, but as it wasnt her size, haha, it became mine!

counting my new clothes, blouse from esprit, miniskirt also from esprit, cotton spag top from 37degrees, boardshorts 37degrees, black dress esprit, boardshorts op, pink polo longsleeved top from ralph lauren polo (a gift from my uncle who bought it cheap from vietnam), tinted jeans bum (the one i got today), a red handbag from bum (a gift from my sister which she got in malaysia where i horibly didnt want to go), studded boots (the one i got today), pink shawl (a christmas present from an aunt), well, i think thats about it. wow, cant wait to wear them! umm, must start experimenting them and see what i should wear on the first day of cny, maybe picking out the outfit for the reunion dinner is more important if i get to go to some hotel or restaurant for dinner this year, and the 7th day dinner, that definitely will be at a hotel or restaurant... ...

bags, shoes, clothes, no one girl can ever have enough of them... a very good tagline used by a shoe shop that i came across in a book for advertising, “theres always a little Imelda in us”. note: Imelda Marcos, owner of over 1150 pairs of branded shoes, wife of Ferdinand Marcos, notoriously corrupt ex-president of Philippines who was toppled over by the people in the late 80s (die, cant seem to remember the exact year when i even used it for my history a levels exam less than 2 months ago, this is very bad!)

dear friends, please come and meet up with me after the cny so that i can parade round in my new clothes. thank you.

Job Job Job and some Resolutions

ive found a job. with john little at the expo for 8 days. its sort of like just the right kind of work for me, near my place, very short tern, working in shits so i wont fall into a routine, but early enough for me to start sleeping well. i wont say the pay is good, but it pays reasonably well for me to want to take up the job offer... hee... they are even paying us for the orientation session and our training session...

this job interview was nothing i expected other than the extremely long queue formed. from the last john little job interview they had and what i heard from people, large numbers of people swarmed the interview area during the time slots, so my friend and i decided to go there super early. still, the was already a lot of people there at the time we reached and had to join the long queue. about 20 min in the queue, my friend and i were segregated out from the queue. it seems that john little was only taking in students waiting for a level results and the jobs were filled on a first-come-first-serve basis. i dont know if i completely agree of their selection of temp workers, but i just feel lucky that ive finally found some work.

john little is offering another 3 weeks to a month stint at their various outlets in mid feb for their sale. i verbally gave my consent. well, the timing is just right, after the expo stint, after the cny and my dumb SATs and with an adequate 2 weeks rest before working again... quite lucky to land this john little stint, opened up other paths of working routes for me without any sort of interviews. now to think of it, other then the robinsons one which i backed out just during the queuing up, i didnt go for another other job interviews and since the john little one didnt have an interview, i dont have any experience of interviews at all! dont know if its good or bad...

and in the meantime, i still have my SATs to worry about... im like so damn pissed lor... ive got to go to a gawddamn faraway place right across the country in acjc to take that stupid test! id better do well for it, or id be like even more pissed than i am now which would be very bad... i wonder where is everyone else taking the test. it had better not be that im the only one taking the test in acjc, that would be like so sad...

anw, at this bright start of the new year, ive set myself some wishes. not resolutions since not all can me achieved by my sheer effort and i dont know if i can actually keep them, its more of wishes, hopefully procrastination doesnt step in and i can fulfil these wishes by the end of the year!
1. earn money
2. learn diving
3. get good a level results
4. get good SAT scores
5. find a boyfriend
6. become prettier
7. finish up everything im doing halfway
8. be a more fanatical fan of faye and wubai
9. perm my hair
10. get my ears pierced

well, that reminds me, when are we going to get our ears pierced?!! and friends, i will start evangelising all of you to fall in love with faye and wubai, so better prepare for it! anyone interested in diving? please let me know, then we can go for lessons together.

Christmas

ive added a quote from clamp. i dont know if i really agree with it and i dont expect many people to agree with it, but it well worth a thought. think about it, what kind of person are you? are you one who belives in fate, or one that believes than humans triumphs over fate? whether there is destiny or life is just a series of mere coincidences?

i spent this christmas with dear adolf hitler. okay, i spent just over 3 hours this christmas watching hitler: the rise of evil. if anyone wants to buy that vcd or dvd, really, i wouldnt advise it, but you can borrow it from me. its a stimulating watch due to its leading actors and actresses who put in a commendable effort and its artistic direction is almost flawless. however, as it is a story pieced by the victors, the story over focuses on hitlers evils and even so, there are many loopholes in their view of hitler. the flow of events is also rather inconsistent with several characters not having a clear role in the show. i would call it a show cos it doesnt really reflect what hitler was like. really, i dont think anybody can really interpret the true nature of our dear dictator.

after watching the biased view of hitler, i didnt have much christmas spirit left in me, but i did spent some time coming with new year resolutions which i would probably break some time soon. i resoluted last year that i would take down my daily accounts and keep track of my savings. i did that dutifully for about 8 months then it ended in a fiasco and now im like horrible in red, especially after buying that black dress, the camera, the phone... ... whoahahaha... so totally like looking forward to chinese new year lor...

ive my whole outfits for reunion dinner, the first and second day of chinese new year, and the seventh day dinner prepared... clothes... okay, its not fully prepared cos im not done with my shopping, but i do have a vague idea what i want and will work towards that shopping goal as soon as i have money. that means, i need a job real soon. i musnt procrastinate any more, i musnt pick on any jobs, i musnt give myself excuses for not finding work. haiz... suddenly sianz ½... cannot! cannot sianz ½ then procrastinate!

im going to cross my fingers and hope for the best to turn out.

well, another reason that i wish to find a job soon is also cos i want to get my biological clock back to normal. ive been sleeping and awake at the wrong times lately and i didnt realise the extent of the problem until i looked into the mirror and spotted (pun not intended) a whole lot of volcanoes among a sea of acne. if i dont get back into a proper sleeping routine, i will totally freak out relatives during cny. my aunt bought me some products from the natural source and natalie hoping that it will help ease up the acne problem. havent tried them yet, but if its good, it will earn some advertising space in this blog, so till then!

Lalalala~

i just lurvvve christmas!!! i love receiving christmas and i better love sending them... all the writing and thanking friends for being there over the past year, catching up with those havent met for a long long time. id like to take this opportunity to thank all the friends who have sent me christmas cards and or other forms of christmas greetings! thank you.

id also like to thank mr kwan for the lunch he treated our class ytd, even though only half our maths class went. we went to secret recipe at siglap, i ate their drilled bbq chicken which was served with buttered rice, but their mushroom soup is well worth mentioning. most other places prepare their soups with onions which i dont really like, so it was very appetising to learn that secret recipes mushroom soup is done without the icky yucky onions. served with half a toasted bun, the soup is best drunk warm. strongly recommended by joan.

also visited the acm (asian civilisation museum) at armenian street ytd with eunice. really learnt a lot from this trip down there ytd, cant wait to make a trip down to the other acm at empress place some day.

today went town again to do some shopping. wisma and taka was like absolutely filled with people and more people that yanling commented that it seemed similar to a scene of the flooding of chinese immigrants into singapore at the end of the 19th century. seeing the number of couples on the streets today, wahaha, i also want a boyfriend! wahaha! haiz... really, if i can find a nice guy, rich, loves me, can take care of me, i dont mind getting married right away.

but clearly, im just dreaming, so never you mind me... haiz... anw, at kino today i bought a new comic series, the first two books. tsubasa reservoir chronicle, by clamp... havent read it yet so cant introduce it today. so, until after i get started with the comic... ...