Ive reached the height of procrastination. And much higher in contradictions.
Ive got a couple of outings with friends lined up this week and a whole lot of other stuff Ive got to do too. In chronological order,
wed morning go down NUS to register for some German Language course
wed aftn visit the library
wed aftn help Huijing play a prank on her friend
wed night chiong session with psycho ppl
fri aftn movie and shopping session with the girls clique
fri night dinner and chiong session with velut ppl
sat pool party with psycho ppl
According to schedule, there doesnt seem to be any clashes, but I dont think my pysical self can take that. In fact, other than the outing with the girls, I have yet cfm my attendance in any of the outings though I have to go down NUS on wed or thu by hook or by crook to register. Reason for my procrastination? The battle between the heart and mind. Heart says go, mind says dont go. Its getting like real bad that now my mind is even telling me not to go out with the girls this fri.
I need sleep.
I havent been sleeping much since I came back from union camp. I cant sleep at night, I dont know why; I tried sleeping in the day but the lure of tv is just too great; when I attempt to watch tv, I start to feel drowsy. My bio clock has gone all wrong.
Scanning down the list again, if I only visited NUS tmr morning and go mia for the rest of the activities, would I be able to fully adjust my bio clock and end my dumb procrastinations? Well, I did promised Huijing that Id help her even though I dont support what ahe and her friends are doing. It will be nice to meet up with the psycho people either on wed or on sat though both would just probably reduce me to a panda. Its been ages since Ive last seen the girls, but movies on a fri? That I dont think is very worth it even though Shuhui let me chose my fav cinema. Velut ppl... I thought we had just met up like ytd, but still chilling out on a fri night would prob ease my nerves.
By now most of my friends shd know that Im claustrophobic, I dont like to be in places where there are a lot of ppl. Even though aft going to arts camp and union camp have eased my nerves a little in crowds, I still feel a tinge of unhappiness in crowds and esp strong pangs of rising tempers aft leaving the crowed place. Is that a legitimate psychological disorder? I dont know...
Right now I just want to curl up behind a good book and enjoy, but procrastination kept me away from the lib, I prob not go to the lib too tmr but I need to return books. Seems like I will need to have to pay fines again. Am I such a loser?