Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Russian Literature

Russian Literature

I just finished reading this book of abridged collection of Russian short stories by celebrated writers. And from my previous knowledge of Russian tales, I must say that Russian writing is certainly not my cup of tea.

My only previous knowledge of Russian writing before reading that collection was the tale of Ivan and the Firebird. I don't know if any has heard it before cos I'd mentioned it to a group of people before but they never heard of it even though I thought that that was quite a classic.

Well, the story goes that once upon a time in Russia, there lived a Tsar with three sons, Ivan (apparantly, in Russian it's pronounced as "ee-farn") being the youngest and his favourite. This Tsar had a prized apple tree which grew golden apples in his large picturesque garden. However, one day, the Tsar found out that one of his golden apples was stolen. Someone had entered into his garden and picked the golden apple from his prized tree!

The Tsar was so angry that he summoned his eldest son to guard the tree the next night hoping to catch the thief if he returns. That night, his eldest son fell asleep in the middle of the night and when he awoke, another golden apple was missing. The Tsar was so angry with his eldest son that he dismissed him and ordered his second son to guard the tree the next night. That night, his second son too fell asleep while guarding the tree and when he awoke, another apple was missing. On seeing this, Ivan stepped up and volunteered himself to guard the tree the next night. The Tsar was pleased that his favourite son was son anxious for him and granted his wish.

Night came, Ivan sat by the tree forcing himself to stay awake to catch the thief for his father, but he found his eyelids getting heavier as time passed on. Ivan went over to the pond by the tree to wash his face and chase away his urge to sleep. Just as he arrived at the pond, a huge, bright bird flew past Ivan towards his father's prized tree and plucked off an apple with his beak. Ivan ran after the bird, but the bird soared high into the dark sky leaving Ivan grasping of of its tail feathers.

The next day, Ivan reported the matter to his father. The Tsar was very amazed with Ivan's tale and when he saw the feather that the bird left behind, the Tsar thought of a Firebird that a neighbouring King owned. He wanted the Firebird for himself.

Immediately, the Tsar called for his three sons and told them that whoever catches the Firebird and presented it to him would become his successor. With that, he dismissed his sons in search for the bird.

Ivan took his best horse and rode in the direction of the neighbouring land where it was rumoured that the king there owned an extraordinary bird called the Firebird. As night fell, Ivan found himself deep in the woods and right in front of three paths, one turning left, one turning right, and the last one heading up front. Besing the crossroads, lay a sign that read: "To the left, you will lose your horse; to the right, you will go hungry; to the front, you will die."

After thinking for a moment, our dear Ivan decided to turn left and hurried down the path. Not long later, a grey wolf pounced out onto Ivan causing him to fall off his horse. Sure indeed, his horse cantered deep into the woods and disappeared. Ivan was left without his horse.

The Grey Wolf came up to Ivan and apologised to him for scaring off his horse and offered to carry Ivan on his back to his destination. He brought Ivan to the land where the Firebird came from and advised Ivan when stealing the Firebird, touch not its cage. Ivan promised to do so.

However, after Ivan stole the bird, he caught sight of a beautiful gold cage by the side of the bird. Forgetting the Grey Wolf's advice, Ivan reached out for the cage, thinking that only such a fine cage was fit for such a fine bird. The moment Ivan's hand touched the cage, he heard loud ringing of bells sounding. Then out rushed the guards and the king himself. The King on seeing Ivan threatened to send his troops to invade Russia unless Ivan promised him something in return. For the sake of his reputation and his country, Ivan agreed to the King's threats. The King wanted Ivan to get for him the fine horse that could travel a thousand miles in a day for him from another neighbouring country. In return, the King would let Ivan have the Firebird.

Upon learning about Ivan's failure, the Grey Wolf brought Ivan to the land of the fine horse and advised Ivan when stealing the horse touch not its briddle. Again, Ivan promised to remember the words of the Grey Wolf. However, after stealing the horse, Ivan noticed the golden briddle with many precious stones set around its sides. Without thinking, Ivan reached out for it thinking only such a fine briddle was fit for such a fine horse. Once his hand touched the briddle, the King and his men came rushing out to the stable seeing Ivan with the fine horse. The King agreed to let Ivan have his horse if he could win the hand in marriage of the beautiful Princess in the next country for him.

Ivan went in search for the Princess with the Grey Wolf's aid and finnally found her. This time, the Grey Wolf went in to steal the Princess instead. And the three of them continued their journey backto the land of the fine horse.

However, on the way back, Ivan fell for the Princess and upon reaching the land, he refused to let the Princess go. Seeing this, the Grey Wolf decided to masquerade himself with his magical powers as the Princess and present himself to the King in return for the horse. He told Ivan to leave as fast as possible and when the next time he thought of the Grey Wolf, it will return back to Ivan's side.

The plan worked well and Ivan took the horse back to the land of the Firebird, but Ivan liked the horse too much that he didn't bear to exchange it for the Firebird. On seeing this, the Grey Wolf agreed to masquerade himself another time as the horse in exchange for the bird. Similarly, the Grey Wolf promised to return to Ivan's side when he thought of him.

With the beautiful Prinecss, the fine horse, and the Firebird with him, Ivan made his way back home. Along the way, Ivan decided to take a nap. While Ivan was alseep, Ivan teo elder brothers passed by and saw him with a Princess, a horse and the Firebird. Immediately they felt jealous of Ivan and plotted to kill Ivan and sieze his stuff. Their plan worked and they headed straight back home leaving Ivan dead.

When Ivan did not think about the Grey Wolf again, the Grey Wolf felt something amiss and came after Ivan. When he saw Ivan dead, he summoned a passing crow to bring him some water from the end of the world to revive Ivan.

Together, the Grey Wolf and the revived Ivan quickly headed back home. Upon reaching home, Ivan heard of news that his eldest brother was next to be the Tsar while his second brother was getting married.

Ivan quickly went to the Tsar and related his account of events to his father.

Thereafter, Ivan lived happily ever after as the Tsar with his bride, horse and the Firebird.

Well, I never liked Ivan. And I think that he's not worthy of all the glory, everything was given to him by the Grey Wolf. This sort of anti-Hero, I think, applies to most Russian writing,from what I've read. It seems like all Russian protagonists are all of dubious character. Even the celebrated Pushkin whom I've heard so much about when reading Angles of Russia [look back in my previous book revie] writes about such pathetic protagonists.

I don't know, but I don't like these kind of characters. It makes me wonder though, are all Russians as such? So anti-heroic...

Then again, the only Russian that I know is probably Roman Abramovich who is well, you can see him as anti-heroic the moment he bought Chelsea as though it was a commodity and the way he buys his players.

Okay... I'm exaggerating. He's not the only Russian I know. I know lots of other Russians, like, ya, Stalin and I must say, he seems very Russian. We can see a little shadowof Ivan in him.

I have nothing against Russians, in fact, I like Russia, but I just don't like the anti-feelings I get after reading a Russian character. I think I'll just stick to my usual stuff...

Try reading some Russian translated pieces if have the time. Russian pieces are rather thought-provoking, especially in terms of human character although it is rather biased, but can still try it and let me know if you liked it.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Parkway Parade

Parkway Parade

From a list of suburban malls' ranking done by The Straits Times, my dearest favourite mall came out 4th. The top mall was Causeway Point, then United Square, followed by Tampines Mall. Seeing these so called top malls, I'm like come on, I'm pretty sure Parkway can beat them flat any man! And Parkway came out 4th?! Oh my god! Do the judges know how to shop?! Like where the heck is United Square? So shoot me! I've never heard of that mall, so does it derserve to come out 2nd? And Causeway Point, I'd been there once and hated it. The moment I stepped into that mall, I felt as though I went to a mall in Malaysia. The whole decor of Causeway Point is so JB! And Tampines Mall is just so bland. Parkway would beat them flat any time any how!

So, for an in depth analysis of Parkway, and yours truly slamming of the scores given to Parkway, this follows...

Family oriented, Parkway was graded 4 out of 5 which is just pathetic! From baby stores to granny shopping, Parkway has it all. For babies, there's Mothercare, growing children Learning Fun, housewives the two supermarket and hypermarts, for men there's like all the electrical appliances shops Best Denki blah, bargain shops for the grannies and gramps, shops that were there since the opening of Parkway long before the three top malls. Parkway is indeed a place for families to go to chill and get together.

Child friendly, the blind judges gave Parkway a 3! Parkway has children toilets okay... And the store that allows children to do handicrafts. And the arcades. And before its removal, there was Parkway's trademark Octopus. Pity it now lies beside NTUC, out in the open. I missed those days when I would go to the Octopus to play, and there were also other little sea animals around, but my favourite was still the big Octopus. But they do have the Waterfall area for kids to play now. Oh yah, and Parkway has those Children Cab or something like that which parents can rent to push their kids around. Always thought that that was fun. I mean with Kinderland just around the corner, Parkway has to be child friendly.

Baby friendly, Parkway also scored an atrociously low grade of 3. Yup, there's the changing table for babies in the toilet though there isn's a nursing room, but those judges shouldnt give Parkway such a low grade what.

Handicap friendly, another low grade of 3.5. I mean, there are adequate lifts around Parkway and there isn't any steps in Parkway to stumble the wheelchaired. The Waterfall area has also been renovated to allow wheelchaired people to get around the area easily, so why the low grade, blind folks?

Accessibility. I'd think that this grade of 4 is pretty fair. Parkway is not the most accessible place around. There isn't any MRT stations but this isn't the problem of Parkway, it's the problem of Marine Parade. It seems quite ironic that during the 11 years ex-PM Goh was in office, he never once lobbied Marine Parade to get an MRT station. But then again, Marine Parade is the most dense estate, the will never be space to build a station. Then thinking again, Marine Parade does have a very varied range of bus services, just not the buses that come by my house. Sad...

Carpark facilities, Parkway too got 3 which is totally uncalled for. What's wrong with the carpark?! There will always be space for cars to park as the 7th level carpark is always empty. Aren't all carparks the same? From the longest time ago, Parkway's carpark already have those electronic signs that tells you the number of lots available at each level. And the stairs are near cos the carpark is small, so what's up with the judges?!

Food courts, a 5 for Parkway. No other mall can come close to Parkway with 2 food courts, one very very large extended one and one halah food court with an open air barbeque annex. It beats any other mall flat flat!

Restaurants, a pathetic 4. Okay, we all know that the judges were blind when they went into Parkway and hence did not see Crystal Jade, that Thai restuarant I never knew the name but has been there ages, that Indonesian restuarant too Khartini or something like that, and Jack's Place, Swensons, Sakae Sushi with Teppanyaki(!), yup the judges are sure blind. And to give a little more credit to Parkway, with a big name Sin Leong, now called Roland's, the is indeed lots of competition in that area.

Cafes, another pathetic 4. The blind judges maybe forgot that Parkway includes the open air cafes of Water-something selling pancakes, Gelera, Starbucks, Swensons cafe, Delifrance, the little coffeehouse inside MPH, yup... Blind judges...

Snack outlets, a good old 5. I mean with Anderson's Ice Cream, Famous Amos' Cookies, that other ice cream shop, Aunt Anne's Pretzels, my favourite Cold Storage stall that sells cooked meat and dounuts, and the chocolate stall that sells chocolate and chocolate dipped strawberries... Yummy... Makes me feel hungry...

Entertainment options, an decent for 4 since that there's no cinemas in Parkway, there's that lod lao pok dao bi one around the corner. hehe... There's no Karaoke facilites since K-box is situated across the road, so it makes no sense for another chain to open one in Parkway. There's an arcade though...

Ambience, a low low 3.5. The unfeeling judges seemed not to like waterfalls since there the most beautiful glass waterfall in Parkway. Savvy Parkway Mall rats know that there is this verenda where you can look out of the top of the waterfall. A definite romantic site where lots of uniform-cladded students like to make out. And the lovely view of a large grass patch now sadly turned to a lovely view of construction site, but nonetheless lovely place to chill. And the overall feeling when you step into Parkway is one of friendly and long-established. I bet it's like one of the oldest mall in the list man. Give me any day, I'd tell you I prefer the ambience of Parkway to that of the JB-feel Causeway Point or that unfeeling TM.

Ease of navigation, Parkway scored a deserving 5. Need I say any more? I can go around parkway blindfolded and still know where I am.

Financial facilities, the blind judges gave Parkway a 4. With DBS, UOB and OUB branches along with POSB and OCBC ATMs around, what more do you want to ask for? Maybank, POSB and Standard Chartered are across the street, so you can't expect Parkway to have those as well, can you?

Speciality retailers, a 4.5. Umm... What do they mean by speciality retailers? So, John Little, Marks and Spensers, Isetan, Cold Storage, Giant, Courts, Best Denki, Esprit, Levis, Americaya, Bata, insurance agencies, slimming and beauty centres, Addidas, OP, 7th Heaven, medical centres, tuition centres, all these can't give Parkway a perfect 5?

Mobile phone services, a well-deserving 5 for Parkway with Singtel, M1 and Starhub all having stores there.

Information counter, Parkway was given a 4. So they think 2 -3 people manning the counter is not enough? The Kiddy Cab is not enough? Sistic outlet there is not enough too?

And the last comments by the judges, "... Unfortunately, it's toilets are either too packed or under repair." So the judges think that spoilt toilets are better?! And the number of people in the toilets are a good gauge of the popularity of the mall. An empty toilet would mean that the mall is empty and pathetic! Parkway can't help itself that its shoppers have weak bladders can it?

I just love Parkway. Since primary 4, I've been visiting it regularly after schools and during weekends with my friends. It used to be a 1-2 days a week average till secondary school. It's the best place for a student to hang out after school to just chat and chill and stone. During my first 3 months, I was at Parkway 5 times a week and even after that a 2-3 times a week average. Even though I'm now staying in NUS, I will still visit Parkway once a week when I return home. There is just no other place for me to go.

Even before primary 4, Parkway was my favourite place to go for say Saturday dinners with my family. I loved the Octopus there. Sadly, the Octopus has moved its resting position, but I still love Parkway.

I'll never forget the secondary school days with the dance people. We would have lunch there after our tiring dance practice and talk about school, about dance, about our lives, about our future, about everything possible. Our favourite hangout, the place outside Learning Fun, facing what was a green patch of grass, on the benches there, or at the benches outside the verenda of the waterfall, I remember once we sat around to benches and someone commented that we looked like we were having a cult session, or Long John's, the only place where we were assured of seats in crowded Parkway, that's the reason why it's gone now, occupied by Crystal Jade which is totally the opposite. hehe...

Parkway holds beautiful memories for me. And as long as I'm still living, I'll always visit Parkway on a regular basis. To me, you will always be the best mall ever! Even Orchard can't be compared to you...


I must be neurotic to say this, but Parkway, I love you!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004



There is something wrong about it but I cant exactly pinpoint what is wrong. Yes, the story is thought-provoking, the acting is perfect, the atmosphere is there, but what went wrong?

Unlike other Wong Kar Wai's movies, 2046 attempts to tie in three central stories and spawning another two more stories instead of his usual one-two central theme. 2046 is also unusually long at 2 hours with Wong saying that his version of 2046 was actually 5 hours long. Maybe what went wrong was that he was working with such a long time frame that he needed it to be as short as possible. Paradoxical? Wong is not used to making such long and complex movies that to him, 2 hours is not enough to fit everything properly.

The editing was also rather unlike most other Christopher Doyle's works. Doyle and Wong are both sticklers for smoothness and flow which seemed to be almost non-existent in this piece, but I suspect that the jarringness of this piece can be attributed to the censors and not them though it really didnt do them any justice.

But this film depicts William Chang at his best. Im so in awe with him, his charaters all seemed to have become another person with a life of themselves and I must give him due credit. He was blasted in In the Mood for Love for the overdressing of Maggie Cheung, but in 2046, his characters were supposed to be very well dressed and he really did a good job. Still, one thing that didnt really go well with the visuals was the haircut of the female characters. It made Tony Leung look pathetically short. This is in context that the female leads arent Taiwanese (show hosts, ha!)(can you get the joke? ie. short).

Tony Leung really became Zhou, his character. I didnt see any trace of Leung in the film, he was all of Zhou. The making out scenes were also well shot, he was all natural that I really wonder how he could actually shoot that scene without reacting. hehe... But there was one thing lacking. Height. Stage presence. His female counterparts were not only tall and had high hairs that he was made dwarfed by comparison. Big pity...

I was amazed by Takuya Kimura's performance. What I can say to him is that, all the years waiting and all the time spent on shooting the scenes were all worthed it man! I never knew he could act from his heart. All along I thought that he was some pretty faced Japanese actor/singer/entertainer/money-making-machine/female-attracting-magnet, but he is more than that. Wong really squeezed Kimura dry emotionally! If only Kimura could act just like how he did in 2046, he would not only sell shows he can also start winning acting awards. He also had great chemistry with Faye Wong that, well, I really hope I can see more of them collaborating in other projects in the future.

Faye Wong. We all know she cant act. She can only stand around and be herself. Her character is just like her and perhaps that was the reason Wong wrote her in. But I liked her better as the robot. There is a sad feeling that she emits out from her eyes and that gave the robot some sort of an emotional edge. In comparison with Carina Lau, the other robot, Faye Wong the robot seemed much sadder and more of a character.

Zhang Ziyi was rather disappointing. She looked really professional in all the making out scenes with Leung, but there was something very distracting about her. As we all know, Wong likes to shoot his actors close up so as to capture the slightest change in their facial expression, but he didnt take into account that pimples can be very distracting. That was so for Zhang. I spent more time thinking that her pimples were damn ugly than thinking that she had acted well. And the funny thing was that shots from different time periods show different pimples.

And the whole idea of the elarborate dressing did not do any justice to Gong Li either. She and Zhang looked pretty much the same as they shared the same types of flat Chinese face. And the use of this sort of white makeup only flattened their faces even more. And without the distinction of other features, they dont look much different from each other which might not spell out good for Zhang as she was made to look much older as she should be.

The only person in the whole show that looked really good was Chang Chen who sadly had very little screen time no thanks to the censor who made a mess out of the montage. If it werent the fault of the censors then I shall conclude that Doyle just dont know how to do a good montage. Sadly disappointing...

Another very bad thing about the film was the pathetic Mandrain dubbing. Why cant we just watch the film as it is instead of having to endure some other person delivering Leung's lines?!

Still, there are many subjects to ponder over in this Wong outing...

What is it up with the reference of Singapore? And when in Singapore watching the film, the reference just seemed rather funny too us and drew quite a bit of laughter, but I strongly suspect that there is a deeper undertone to the meaning of Singapore in the film. Especially when we realise that 2046 is not the future but a place. Could Singapore be the opposite of 2046. Leung's character goes to Singapore in search of Su Lizhen but goes to 2046 to forget her... And while Faye Wong's Huang Jingwen want to go to 2046, Zhang's Bai Ling want to go to Singapore... Think about it...

On the whole, maybe it was because I had too high hopes on 2046 that I cant help feeling disappointed with this piece, but its nonetheless a fresh piece of Wong Kar Wai trying to be innovative yet true to himself. I would disagree with all those saying that Wong is pretentious and his movies are all made with the Western art house critics in mind cos it is so NOT true! Just watch all of Wong's movies and you can see that he is being himself and really wants to do what he wants to do!

Id take a leaf from here and go back in thoughts of 2046, I still think that there is something up with Singapore...

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

The height of procrastination

I cant seem to start doing anything.

The height of procrastination.

Okay... This is sad. I cant make up my mind which of the two above statements I wanted to use as the heading, so I put them both down. And now there seems to be something wrong with my sentence structuring. I dont know, but I dont really mind if a person writes in broken English with pathetic spelling, but I really cant stand it if I read a passage with wrong grammar usage. Especially if the tense is wrong. Haiz...

Okay... Im digressing. Back to my main point, I cant seem to start doing anything due to my extreme procrastinating habit. Usually things can get going once started, but if I cant start, I can never get my stuff going.

Ignore my disjointed writing. Im not thinking straight today. Im not even thinking.

How am I to write my essay if I cant even write my blog properly?!

And this blog entry was supposed to be a photo blog entry. I just spent $88 on a Nokia data cable supposedly to transfer my photos from my handphone over to my computer. And then I could upload my photos online and post it on my blog. yup... But the thing is that with Joan's extremely limited knowledge of computer technology, I can only put up that pix by the side, I cant put it up here! Help me... I kept getting error messages which were basically incomprehensible to me. Help...

And the funniest thing that can happen to my pathetic pathetic computer, it refused to allow to to access the internet from the lounge today, but I can use it from my room! Okay, if you dont understand this, well, its a very long story. For the past couple of weeks, my computer just refused to allow me to use the internet from my dighy liitle room, but I could use it in my residence lounge, but today, its the opposite, I dont know why...

Anyone can help me?

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Eternal Happiness

Eternal Happiness
chU 9pm

Main storyline is about Meng Lijun running away from the guy she was supposed to marry, Huangfu Shaohua, and later falls in love with him. A Mongolian prince, Tiemuer, and a couple of baddies and the daughter of the baddie, Liu Yanyu, seriously complicated matters.

Why I started watching the show?
Because it features two of my favourite TVB actors, Lin Feng and Ma Dezhong. (My other favs include Jiang Hua, Lin Wenlong, Lin Jiadong, hehe...) So the plot goes, Meng Lijun was betrothed to Huangfu Shaohua much against her wishes, but by a quirk of fate, she disguised as a man became sworn brothers with him, Tiemuer and Marco Polo. She had started falling for Tiemuer in the early days but as Tiemuer had to conceal the fact that he was a Mongolian prince, many a times she failed in letting him know of her real identity (that she is a female in disguise). Fate has it that she had to fail in getting together with him.

And by another quirk in fate, Tiemuer's absence let to her falling for the so deeply in love with Meng Lijun Huangfu Shaohua. Huangfu Shaohua is the dumb but loyal kinda character which didnt go too well with Meng Lijun at first, also because he was Huangfu Shaohua, but later deeply touched by his love for the person he thought he had never met (Meng Lijun). Some comic relief in the show of Huangfu Shaohua show of him deeply disturbed that he thought that he was gay (Meng Lijun was supposed to be a guy in his eyes and he was so attracted to him/her/whatever).

But things complicated when Tiemuer had suspected that Meng Lijun was a female and too fell in love with her/him/whatever and that he bacame the Emperor. By then, Meng Lijun had taken the imperial examinations and became the top scholar. As she had became well aware of her love for Huangfu Shaohua and Tiemuer and made it known to her that he strongly suspected (but Meng Lijun denied it flatly, though) that she was a female and wanted h/h/w to share his riches (he IS after all the Emperor).

So, our dear Meng Lijun is faced with the toughest choice of any women's life, is it the dumb but loyal who will stick to you forever or the strong and powerful who can provide you with anything you want (but Tiemuer does have an Empress whom he doesnt really like)? As Tiemuer put it to Meng Lijun, "Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Huangfu Shaohua as a boring commoner or do you want to share half the world with me?" I would so melt if smeone asks me that question, not that it is a question of marriage but the words of sharing half the world is so so strong by itself. (Tiemuer IS after all the Emperor)

Who do I want Meng Lijun to choose?
As we all know, Meng Lijun will end up with Huangfu Shaohua and this remake of the story of Meng Lijun wont change history, but still, it is something good to choose... hehe...

Side track a bit...
Stupidity Symptoms 8
During the first few episodes of Eternal Happiness, Joan found that the character Meng Lijun was so familiar, so she asked her younger sister where she heard her from. The reply, "You have a book about her, dont you remember?" This is in the context that Joan is supposed to be better read than her YOUNGER sister and is supposed to be smarter, but well...

Back to Tiemuer and Huangfu Shaohua,
Tiemuer IS after all the Emperor, he IS the most powerful man on earth and Meng Lijun did fell for him first, but he has a wife. It is interesting to note that he fell for Meng Lijun even though he didnt know for sure that she is a she and when he had to marry against his wishes, he had many a times tried to wriggle his way out from spending the night at his Empress place. And there is this other sorta funny scene (funny only if you do remember that Meng Lijun is supposed to be a male) where Tiemuer forced himself on Meng Lijun and then the Empress suddenly appeared, greatly disturbed by what she saw. Then the next scene showes her and Tiemuer in the same bed facing opposite directions and she tearing. I do want to feel sympathetic for her, but my heart went all out wanting Meng Lijun to be with Tiemuer. Haiz... You all know Joan, the person who thinks that power is aphrodisiac.

But then there is Huangfu Shaohua the big blockhead who was so distrubed that he might be gay that he ran away and got himself entangled with Liu Yanyu whom I think is just too good a person. Another thing about Joan, she doesnt like people who are just way too good. One absolutely disgusting thing about her that Joan and her sister thought was this line which Liu Yanyu harboured "I want Huangfu Shaohua to be reunited with the Meng Lijun he loves so dearly, and I dont mind staying by him on an equal basis as Meng Lijun." Hello, do you know where you stand, Liu Yanyu?! And you still want to share an equal status with Meng Lijun??! But like all diehard loyals, he is so hard to resist after a long period of time being with him. He may be dumb, but dumb people are easier to get along with.

Basically, Joan likes both Tiemuer and Huangfu Shaohua very much and will support whoever who appears on TV together with Meng Lijun. As an observer, a person like Tiemuer is great for romancing, he is the pinnacle for a perfect boyfriend, but never would one want to marry an Emperor, they just have too many wives and life as an imperial concubine or even as an Empress really sucks. In a later episode, I found out from magazines that Tiemuer would use to status as Empress to entice Meng Lijun, "Just one word from you and I can immediately depose the present Empress and make you the Empress." Oh, man, I would just MELT!!! Okay, so NOW you all know that Joan is a stickler for male chauvinism. (someone commeted that Im SM, but, well...) The other side of the story is not very pleasant to the Empress who happened to hear what Tiemuer said to Meng Lijun, especially that she just found out that she was pregnant and wanted to bring that news to Tiemuer (and for the ten tousandth time, Meng Lijun IS supposed to be a man!).

But Huangfu Shaohua is indeed damn cute. Actually, I think its just Lin Feng. Maybe if someone else acted as Huangfu Shaohua, I wont support him that strongly as I do now... This brings me back to another period drama by TVB. Luo Shen... Cant remember the English translation of the title... In it, a smart woman (note the similarity with the smart Meng Lijun) is torn between two men, one holds power, one holds the gift of literature. Right from the start I was on the camp for the guy holding power and when he turned out to be not so good by means of, well, history, I gave up watching that show. My heart pained for him man... So, it seems like TVB scriptwriters dont like men with power... Well...

You know what, now that Im thinking of it I think that if Huangfu Shaohua wasnt acted by Lin Feng, I would have boycotted this show just like how I boycotted Luo Shen.

With Eternal Happiness coming to an end liao, Id grade this drama series with 4-stars. One to Lin Feng, one to Ma Dezhong, one to the soundtrack (esp the dizi and qin music, and the title and ending songs), and one to power. Yup... Do try and catch the last few episodes of it!

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Procrastination vs Pathetism

There is a link between the two P-words that I always use, using them both in theory and in practice.


I procrastinate anything and everything, to those who have yet know. Procrastinating studying and doing my work is like waking up everyday, so natural and innate. But that are not the only things I procrastinate, more often than not, I procrastinate the most everyday things, like waking up, bathing, eating, sleeping. I cant wake up as in opening my eyes and getting out of bed immediately, I will have to hit the snooze button a couple of time, laze around for some time before I can actually pull myself out of bed fully refreshed.

As most people would know by now, Im not a person who likes to bathe. I only bathe when I have to go out, so that would translate to procrastinate bathing until I almost run late.

How can one procrastinate eating? Well, apparantly I can. When Im running late, I would forget that Im hungry and only eat only at the end of the day, after Im done with all my stuff and before I sleep. Sometimes, I can go without eating anything the whole day, but not very often. That is why when I eat, I make good use of eating and stuff myself with lots of food.

At night, even when Im dead tired, I surprise myself by finding excuses not to sleep. I can hang around on my bed, reading magazines that Ive read 20 times over or flipping channels on the tv without actually watching anything or I can just stone. Oh man...


Joan is pathetic.

How so? She can well up in misery, thinking that she is the saddest person on earth, provoking her tears to be at her beck and call but not allowing them to flow freely so that her hurt is accentuated. She likes being emotionally pained. By thinking that she is worthless and that nobody likes her, everybody hates her and she should in return hate everybody on earth.

Joan is lonely. Pathetically lonely. Nobody understands her, nobody can understand her, nobody will understand her. She is like vines on a tree, looking, seaching, finding a support, but everybody just looks down on her cos she is so dependent. But then again, is she really that dependent? Sometimes, she just isolates herself and shuts herself out from the rest of the world so that she can feel lonely, so that she can look for support, like asnake who has a home at a particular tree but not wanting to go there, but wanting something he doesnt know what.

So, am I lonely cos my friends cant make time for me or do it avoid my friends so that I can be lonely and so that I can wallow in my misery that my friends cant make time for me?

I havent noticed this, but everytime I feel pathetic is when I have lots to do but dont want to do anything, in short, when I procrastinate, I feel pathetic. Or it is the other way round? When I feel pathetic, I will tend to procrastinate doing my stuff...

I dont know...

I just read the screenplay for Lost in Translation. Images of the two lonely characters anve resurfaced in my mind. I feel like both of them, in somewhere foreign. NUS is foreign to me, going for classes, writing essays are not what I want, I dont want to be at where I am now, squatting at the lounge of my hostel, tying on my laptop all by myself, with a window of my essay minimised at my toolbar and me not wanting to open it, and worse, with my msn set at online status but nobody wanting to talk to me. I feel like both Bob and Charlotte. And so unlike them who have each other for company, I have just my blog.


And the pathetic thing about me is that i know that I will feel even worse reading the screenplay for Lost in Translation but I still went ahead and read it cos I felt like feeling bad, and sad, and pathetic...

Arent I just so pathetic?

Friday, October 01, 2004

I Need More Time

I need more time. And friends who have time.

I need more time and less procrastination to actually start writing drafts for my 4 essays/term papers/whatever you call them. I also need time to actually go shopping. Not shopping for things I do not want but shopping for things I need. Then there is that great movie coming up The Motorcycle Diaries that I really feel like watching. Well, even if I do manage to squeeze out some time, my friends, loads busier than this poor girl, would not be accompanying me anywhere. Sucks man...

So where have I spent my time on?

Really, I have absolutely no idea. Tests? Maybe. I had EU test which totally sucked. I had never come across a worsely written test paper, never in my 19 years of life. There was my Deutschsemestertest. Yes, those Germans really just put all the words together to form a longer word. All I can say about that test is that learning a new language from scratch is definitely not easy. But we all remember those times memorising is was been; come came come; has had had had; lie lay lay; lay laid lain; go went gone; blah blah blah from our that Primary English book. Then there are those time wasted on that chU 9pm show which Im hooked. And football. Waking up at unearthly hours disrupting my already spoilt bio-system, luckily those matches were not what I consider disappointing performances. I actually enjoyed it comprimising some more important stuff.

Im losing more weight and emotionally wrecked.

Im not eating properly due to the fact that I dont seem to have common breaks with my friends so I dont bother eating. Im like subsistencing on sandwiches from Coffee Club Express and Fuzion every night, and when Im really hungry it will be hot dogs from the snack stall. I had 4 hot dogs on Monday, and another 4 on Tuesday, Wednesday I didnt have any but I had 3 both yesterday and today, so that makes it 14 in a week, not counting that I have a bbq tmr and I probably wont be eating chicken, just stuffing myself with loads and loads of hot dogs. Funny to think that with all the hot dogs down me Im still losing weight.

With no one to go out with me and me being cooped up in my room 24/7, its no wonder that my Stupidity Symptoms seems to have closed down for good. And without me doing stupid stuff, I feel quite sad. Not the boohoo kinda sad, but more on the sad kinda sad. Sad of life; sad of studying; sad of not getting what I want; sad that I got what I want... Geddit? Sinking lower into pathetism... Ya, Im sad, the pathetic kinda sad...

Then there is my pathetic infatuation with a certain German footballer. Pushing the parameters of Joan's emotional limits to saturation.