Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Girls' Outing

These pictures were self-taken by my lousy phone camera in VivoCity some very long time back when we met over the holidays for a short get-together before Jasmine flies/flew to the UK. Jasmine is now safely there and having a ball of a lifetime.

In the meantime, I do not understand why is it so difficult for some people to send photos to the rest of us. It's been more than a month and that someone who brought the camera that day and took pictures of and for all of us and promised that she will send them to us have yet to do so. I've kindly asked her over MSN for the photos and she used "I'm busy now." to not send the pictures.

I know I'm also not the kind who would promptly send photos to everyone, but I do in the end, finally send photos to everyone. In fact, among them, I usually the fastest to disseminate my share of photos because I have a blog and I've lots of free time and I'm always online. They aren't online always and claim that they are always busy and god knows other whatnots.

Speaking of photos, some time a long time ago during the end of the summer vacation, just after I got back from Germany, the girls held a mini-chalet cum sleepover and barberque. Lots of photos were taken also. Then, until now, I still have yet seen any one of those photos we took that time. I asked the person helming the camera and well, she was busy when I asked over MSN and well, I still have yet seen any photo. I will ask those two girls again, when I finally see them online again. God knows when that will be, but for now, here are a bit of the photos I took.

It's a bit dark, okay, it's very dark, but these are all I have.

Me met at VivoCity. I was late. Very late actually. I was supposed to meet Jasmine earlier, but I woke up late, and I went to take a bath, and I took a bus ride down, so I was really late. hehehe... That's for screwing up my bio-clock over the holidays.

We went to Earles' by Swensons at VivoCity and the food there is above the price range of what I normally would go for, but since the girls chose it them mei you ban fa. I chose an expensive item, because I didn't want to eat the cheap stuff because I was off a fat and oil diet. So maybe it's also my fault for complaining that it's expensive. Actually, the meal also includes a salad buffet, but I hate my greens, so it's quite a waste.

Service there was also pretty bad. They took a long time for us to get their attention to make orders and to have water refills. We complained to the store manager and he assured us that the next time if we were to go there and he were to serve us, he'll ensure that service be prompt, but I don't think there will be a next time.

After the food there's the photo taking session and being at Vivo, obviously we went to the rooftop and fraternise with the fake beach and nice scenery. Then we went to the front of Vivo to take more pictures with the Christmas decorations. We took some really fun pics but they are not with me. I'm quite unhappy with that. I'll try to wrestle back those images, I'll try with all my might. Who cares about friendship when there's more important things at stake, hehehe~

Not all the girls went. I'm quite disappointed. I believe that one needs to make an effort to keep friends. I can't say that I make that effort because I don't, but at least, when someone else made the effort, there isn't really a need to busy oneself. But well, it's their choice ultimately.

I wonder in another couple of years time, how many of us will be left for yet another gathering IF there will be another gathering.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Several Updates

I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like to and it's frustrating me. I've so many photos with me, so many stuff I want to ramble on about yet I don't have the time to blog. Been out so much lately that it's been almost an overkill, been out till late, coming back dead tired, don't have energy to do anything, and still need wake up early the next day. I'll be free tomorrow morning and afternoon but going out in the evening so it's still going out till late and tiring myself. Luckily Stammtisch has been postponed, so I think I can get a little bit of rest on Thursday, then Friday is yet another long day till late of lessons.

Let's see... I wanted to say I went out shopping on Saturday. Bought a whole lot of stuff, and very happy about my buys, and my New Year outfit's all settled~ A lot of things also happened on Saturday that all deserve an entry of their own. Oh well... Mark them down for a moment, see when I'm free to get back to that.

Sunday was a bad day. Okay, actually the whole weekend was supposed to be bad because of Rough Patch going on that vacation, but Saturday numbed me a whole bit and I was quite high from all the retail therapy. But the effects wore off on Sunday. Coupled with a severe case of PMS on Sunday, spoiling my supposed Swim and Exercise plans, forcing me to stay in bed reading the Donna Leon books I borrowed from the library.

Monday was okay. Stayed in school till late, read more Donna Leon. Oh, and I met Ivy, who passed me a note from Amanda and Xingning whom she met up with over the weekend. wow~ So touched~ Those days from primary school now seems so far back. Those were the days my friend, it seems like it never end... hai...

I woke up today so tired out. Today was one of the rare occasions I had to resort to coffee. The dajie at Coffee Club Express was saying I looked like I was dying. But the coffee did it's job, didn't doze off during classes.

Then after class I met up with the Singapore Film mates to go out gaigai before Caihui flies off to Hungary. But I think I'll be going to the airport to send her off. We were so crazy lor. We went to our trademark Ichiban Boshi and took lots of pictures~ Hongyi joined us much later, and as usual, he made us laugh at him a lot. wahaha~ We took so many photos until it was so late.

Got back home now and I'm so dead tired.

Tomorrow still going out.
Next week still going out again.

Being caught up in the frenzy is also not a bad change from my previous reclusive life. At least can put the mind away from Rough Patch for a while.

Okay, finished updating the stuff already. I'll see if I've the time and energy tomorrow to put up some pictures. I think I better put the pics up tomorrow because the more I drag the more photos I'll accumulate and by the time I've one big pile of them I'll be so sian to put them up. And this is speaking from the experiences of all my travelling. lol~ Yup~ So long~

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Kind of Reader I Am

What Kind of Reader Are You?
Your Result: Literate Good Citizen

You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two.

Book Snob
Dedicated Reader
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Fad Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You?
Create Your Own Quiz

I'm labelling this in books because I don't think this meme is that accurate, based on the questions that was posed, and also I'd like to make use of this opportunity to talk about the kind of books that interests me.

I have a weird taste in books. I like wuxia novels as much as I like manga and as much as i enjoy (academic) history related non-fictions as much as I enjoy crime novels as much as I enjoy some other crappy stuff. I'm a fan of Harry Potter but I don't really like all fantasy novels per se, nor children's books. I've never read any of Dan Brown's books even though I can't say I never will. I think I'm more of a free-reader, I read things that I want to read and not things people are reading or things that people think I should read. Hence even though I like reading about history stuff, and can read a book by Stephen J Lee for fun, I don't bother going about doing my assigned readings. I think I'm the only person in the world who can claim that my favourite authors are "Liang Yusheng and Donna Leon". I don't think anyone else can be so much in love with these two people's writings than me because these two styles of writings differ so much.

For quite some time now, I think the best book that I've read so far is The Angels of Russia. My favourite Chinese book would be 萍踪侠影录. I have certain tastes about these stuff and more specifically, I have certain tastes for authors.

I usually start off by reading a book and if I like it, I'd continue and read other books by the same author and if I like them all I'll read them all and read more of them. I also like reading books that come in a series but each have their separate story line. Donna Leon books are feature the same main character but a different crime happens for each book, there's a whole slew of supporting whose characters and personalities are built up over the many books and their significance there, but unlike Detective Conan, there isn't a main holding plot or big secret that one has to uncover.

I like reading wuxia novels. I usually have trouble reading large chunks of Chinese because they make my head pain, but I can lap up to those Chinese wuxia novels and just read them. Because of reading wuxia novels, I'm able to read traditional Chinese, and able to read in the up-to-down style of writing. I remember the very first wuxia novel I read was Louis Cha's The Return of the Condor Heroes because of the corresponding period drama starring Fann Wong and Christopher Lee. From there I started reading other Louis Cha's wuxia novels but all of them failed to impress me more than The Return of the Condor Heroes. I don't know when was it that I also started reading other authors of the wuxia genre, Gu Long and Liang Yusheng. I hated the former more than Louis Cha, but I fell in love with the latter.

Gu Long takes a very condescending stand regarding the use of women in his novels. All of Gu Long's women are either prostitutes or have been/will be raped by some lesser character, either that or they are plain slutty, their presence in the novel is mainly for sex. The kind of protagonists of Gu Long are also not the kind of protagonists I like. I started out with The Return of the Condor Heroes, hence I always use Yang Guo as the benchmark. I like young dashing protagonists who learns a whole slew of skills are the story progresses, meeting a whole range of good and bad people are his adventures continues, he falls in love with a woman and is true to her until the end of the story. I hate Gu Long's protagonists in that the men never fall in love with only one women. In this respect, I also hate Zhang Wuji of The Heavenly Sword and the Dragon Slaying Sabre even though Zhang Wuji fulfills all my other criteria for an endearing protagonist. Okay, I do like Zhang Wuji, but he frustrates me a lot. In fact, everytime I meet an indecisive man, I'd call them as having the "Zhang Wuji syndrome", especially when their indecisiveness is pertaining to relationships.

There is however on Gu Long book that I like a lot. The only Gu Long book that I like. 流星.蝴蝶.剑 attracted me because of the style of writing is interesting. If translated to English, it would read as a piece of writing writtn entirely in present tense which makes it so engaging. I first caught the movie by TOny Leung Chui Wai, Michelle Yeoh and a cameo by Jimmy Lin. But erm... The movie doesn't do justice to the book. Other than this exception, I seriously dislike all other Gu Long's novels, including the famous Lu Xiao Feng stuff and Xiao Yu'er stuff.

I'm trying to think which is the first book of Liang Yusheng that I read, but I can't seem to remember. But a couple of his more famous books that have been adapted to screen includes 白发魔女传 and 云海玉弓缘, both of which never fail to bring tears to my eyes when I read them. ***spoilers*** Both do not have a happy ending. Sometimes I wonder if I prefer happy endings or sad endings. Because I list these two books as my second and third most favourite after 萍踪侠影录, I thought that perhaps I prefer happy endings to sad endings, but of course, I must admit there is a certain sense of beauty in a sad ending, be it Lian Nishang's utter disappointment in Zhuo Yihang, and Zhuo Yihang's eternal pining for Lian Nishang, or Li Shengnan's death and her very beautiful last line (from here "只望你将来在鸳鸯枕畔,月下花前,能偶尔的想我一下,想起曾经有过一个非常爱你的人,那我就会感激你不尽了!"), and Jin Shiyi's corresponding revelation that it was her that he loves most. But well, let's just say that, it's nicer that Zhang Danfeng got together with Yun Lei in the end. ***spoilers end***

I was reading an article about Liang Yusheng some time back, in that article he stated that his favourite novel was 萍踪侠影录 and Yun Lei was his favourite female character because he wrote her based on his love for his girlfriend (or was it his wife). I think this is also what attracted me to the writings of this novel, everything seemed so emotional and fill with feelings.

Another thing that I enjoy reading are memoirs. Okay, I don't just read everybody and anybody's memoirs but I like reading memoirs of people I like. As a discerning historian, I understand that memoirs are self-serving and completely biased, but to me it doesn't matter since I like them and I'd be glad to lap up on everything that blows the people I like out of proportion. One of my favourite memoirs would be that of Chin Peng. I'm currently in the middle (okay, in the beginnings) of the memoirs of Otto von Bismarck. I'm slow in reading that because I bought the German version and my German is still quite bad, but I promise I will slowly improve it and complete that book before I die. wahaha~

I'll really like to talk more and give a greater in depth overview of the books I like to read some other time, but I guess my attention span can only bring me this far.

Lost In Campus

Okay, this is yet another Joan was lost kinda blog entry, it's getting kinda dull I know, since that's the only interesting thing that can happen to me in school, and I've censored quite a bit of my out of school life, and I'm too tired to type out the next entry so that will have to wait, and I'll relate this "filler" episode tonight.

The story goes back to last Friday when I was yet again lost in Science, lost within the department of Material Science and unable to find my way back to the bridge leading to S7 so that I can make my way to S13 and S12 and get to the bus stop sheltered from the rain. Well, me and the friends didn't manage to find that bridge even though we took that to LT32 to have our lessons.

But getting lost in campus is not something unique to me this semester, at least, not unique to me getting lost in Science. I was reading this blog this morning, and I found this post vaguely familiar. Something about the content tugged me somewhere inside myself, but I couldn't place my thoughts. Then I read the next post and the relating comments and I realised that there was this hazy piece of memory inside me.

Before I started taking cross faculty modules in my third year first semester, before me ever stepping foot (and getting lost) in Science, I was once lost in Engin. Surprise surprise! Me having nothing to do with Engin, not doing any modules there, not knowing anybody there (okay, this is a lie...), why would I get lost there? Okay, maybe that's precisely why I got lost there.

The reason was that, remember eons ago, when the old Univeristy Hall was still in EA? yea... I needed to get my SEP stuff settled there, hence the trip over.

I remember the first trip over was by ISB B, so it stopped right there and everything was fine, but the second trip was a big fiasco. Stupid me was at the Central Library, so I thought walking over would be easy, hence I called up my dear friend from ME (dunno you still remember anot) to ask for directions over (actually he was the second person I called, the first friend I called didn't pick up the phone). With the vague directions, I headed out for Engin. My first time in uncharted grounds. It wasn't long before I got lost.

Yea... I called back my friend twice and asked for directions half a dozen times. One phone call with my friend was so bad that he had to describe to me the route as I walked as described. By the time I reached LT7a I was half dead.

eh wait... Those weren't the only two times I was in Engin, those weren't ven the first two times I was in Engin (other than McDonald's la...). ah... I remember, the first time when I was in Engin (as in Engin, except McDonald's) was during a Chinese Drama camp. We slept over at the area outside LT7a.

Then after that I liked that place so much that I kept returning there on lonely nights when I needed to get work done, but that's another story.

That story was when I was staying in Kuok Foundation Hall. If you don't know, KFH is very near to LT7a. I used to go over to the ATM at EA to draw money so that I can order pizza because I always seem to not have enough cash with me, and I'm too lazy to buy food. Funny how it seems like I'm not too lazy to go and draw money. Wait, how come I didn't buy the food at LT7a ah? Ah... Last time I used to like the food sold at that cafe outside LT7a, especially their hot dogs. hmm... Forgot all about it, haven't been there for a very long time, wonder if it's still there...

Oh no, I've been going on and on about stuff that suddenly burst into my hazy memory that I've lost track of what I was at just now. Okay, LT7a... I used to go over there on warm nights for the air con and quietness to do work. My hostel room was too warm and stuffy and too noisy. erm... Actually the noise is from my television which I keep on whenever I'm in the room, it sorts of recreates a kind of "renqi" to the room to accompany me. I used to carry my books and a little pillow to cushion my butt and go over to LT7a there to study. There were always people there mugging. ahh... Kinda miss those days when I was young and hardworking.

Anyway, I was wondering how come this memory of me losing my way in Engin is so hazy. One possible reason was that I see my school life as past and present, the past was before exchange and they are not kept in my active memory, only the school life after my exchange is in my active memory.

Then hor, I suddenly thought. I think hor, it's probably that my getting lost in Science is always so traumatising that my getting lost in Engin just pales in comparison. hehehe... When I was lost in Engin I still had my friends to call, I now don't know who to call when I get lost in Science. And that, very importantly, when I was lost in Engin there were people around me whom I can ask for directions. I don't know why is it that I always get lost in deserted areas in Science, there was nobody there for me to ask for directions.

I must go back down to LT7a one day and see if I can think about more things that happened to me there before. lol~ And go back there to see if the cafe is still there. But of course, if I'm going back there again, I will only go there by ISB.

Hey! Suddenly thinking about getting lost, I remembered a long time ago during O Week. Me and an OG mate got lost looking for PGP.

Somethings never change.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007








Tuesday, January 23, 2007

My Miserable School Day

Never in my six semesters of NUS school life had I so wanted to cry out in school because of school (not of work). The only time which came close were those times when I was on exchange in a foreign place doing foreign stuff and feeling very lonely. But today, standing at the bus stop outside S12 at the Faculty of Science, I could feel the tears welling up after missing the fourth internal shuttle bus. Never have I been so upset in my six semesters of NUS life. Never have I been so upset with any of my schools in my whole life.

I hate science, I hate the school of computing, I hate every fucking building within NUS other than the Arts Faculty and YIH, and perhaps the hostels I stayed in my early years of University.

Usually my Physics prof would end the class early so that out class, with a very high proportion of Arts students, can make it over to the other side of the campus, but today, the tutor took over the class, and ran a bit into time and by the time I reached the Science bus stop, there were a lot of people there. To make matters worse, that being the bus stop nearer to the University Hall, the buses that ply there have already picked up hoards of students at the other Science bus stop, the one opposite the School of Computing.

Altogether 3 A1s and 1 D went by me totally packed with people. And a 95 came by too but I couldn't take it because my class was at LT12, I had to stop at the bus stop outside LT13 which wasn't plyed by 95. Running late for my next class wasn't what that bothered me so much, rather, it was that of despair that almost made me break out in cold tears.

I hate Science.

Finally another D came. Actually it was also filled. I was standing near the door along with about 4 other people. There seemed to be space for one person, but because there were other people around, I hesitated in rushing up the bus, but none made a move, in a split second decision, I hiked up my bag and squeezed up the bus. I think I even muttered a please make some room for me to the other students squashed in the bus. You know the feeling of being relieved. That was how I felt when the door closed safely behind me.

Naturally, I was late for my next class, but that was not so traumatising.

After that class, I had to get back to Science, and missed another two A2 buses because it was so freaking packed with people. It seemed like no one wanted to stop outside LT13. Sucks... I had to wait for a D bus to come along. Luckily I wasn't really pressing for time if not I'd have flipped.

What followed was worse, after my morning Physics class, I made an appointment with my Physics tutor to meet after my History class and before my Physics tutorial. Speaking with my tutor, I felt so stupid. I don't know even the basic terminology and formulas. Then I didn't have a calculator somemore and couldn't work out the sums. I don't even own a calculator. I've forgotten how to even use a freaking scientific calcular and how to hit the x10 to the power of something. Crap... Luckily the tutor was patient.

After meeting my tutor, I sat outside the corridor of S13 to do my work before my tutorial. My tutor was previously at S11 and I knew that the building I was in my S12. S11, S12 and S13 were arranged in an L shaped formation with S12 being the connecting point. I knew I was just outside S13 so I thought it wouldn't take much for me to get to my tutorial room just one floor up.

How wrong was I.

When the time came, I couldn't find a stairs leading up to the third floor. I walked up and down the corridor of S13 peeking through each door but couldn't find a freaking staircase. I don't know how many times I went up and down the corridor, and I was almost in tears, yet again. How great, a year three student can't even find a freaking stairwell.

In the end, I went out of S13 back to S12 where I found a lift. And of course, I was late for my class again.

At the end of all the nonsense, I just wanted to leave the school as soon as possible and go back home to my two free days. Just two days of Uni Days has left me a very broken Joan, I don't know what I'd do if I had like four days straight of lessons.

Next semester I want to do an architecture module. No more Science for me please.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


As you should know by now, I've been sick for more than a week already. I hate being sick, because that means that there are a lot of food I cannot eat, and that also means that I get all kinds of cravings which I cannot fulfill, and that is the most horrible thing that can happen to me. As such to happen, I was lying in the car after the daddie came to pick me up from school, I started moaning about my cravings. This time this craving was lagi bad.

It's not that I'm sick that I can't eat it, but I can't eat it because it's not sold in Singapore. It's not even sold outside Germany, Austria and Switzerland! Crap...

I so want to eat the Garneln Baguette from Nordsee~~~ I want a Nordsee in Singapore~ I want the Garneln Baguette to be sold in Singapore~ I want I want I want~~~ I promise that if someone were to bring the franchise to Singapore, I'd buy a Garneln a day, every day~~~

Dreaming about Garnelns, I dug up some old photos and decorated them, hoping that that might ease some of my craving pangs. But what the heck, I don't mind downing the crap calamaris even though they taste like rubber if someone brings Nordsee over to Singapore. wahaha~ Actually, I think Nordsee will be a hit in Singapore because Singaporeans love fish (it's Halal somemore!) and seafood, and currently the only seafood fastfood chains we have in Singapore is Long John Silver which is very unhealthy, so Nordsee can appeal to the health conscious people.

Last time we still had this shortlived fiasco of a seafood fastfood restaurant called What a Fish (don't know how many people remember it), it was actually a good concept, only that they focused too much on fish and forgot about other seafood. And also I think location wise and stuff was not properly planned that led to it being a fiasco. Just look at our own homegrown seafood restaurant chain, Fish and Co. (which used to own the What a Fish too), they are growing so strongly, so I can see a potential market in a Nordsee in Singapore.



Mix Box
The Mix Box consists of potato wedges, fried shrimps and fish nuggets. It's one of my favourites because they are all the stuff I like to eat~ Actually, Nordsee also has this Fish and Chips which I often eat but not photographed because it takes two hands to eat and no hands to take photos. lol~ Fish and Chips uses chips instead of wedges, so if I'm feeling for chips, I get the latter, if for wedges, the former, but if I'm feeling for prawns, then it's still the former. hehehe~

If I'm wishing for prawns but I don't want oily and fried food, then it's definitely a Garneln Baguette. OMG, that is my ultimate favourite and the thing I love from Nordsee. It's a baguette (read: zhem tau lo ti) with a base of egg mayo at the bottom, then cucumbers and prawns lined up at the top. I love egg mayo, I love prawns. There are usually about 8 prawns in one, which is a lot (this picture doesn't do justice, but it's the best I have). The only gripe is that because there are too many prawns, it gets messy when I eat, the prawns will fall off, so I need to use two hands to eat. One to hold the bread and the other to hold the falling prawns.

If I don't want to use two hands, I usually go for a Backfish. It's cheap and easy to eat, and is one of their favourite to-go menu. It has tartar sauce on it and a leaf of veggie, so it's also healthy.

The Lachs is slightly more expensive. Salmon mah, of course more expensive. If you don't know, Lachs is salmon... hehehe~ I love salmon, so I love this of course, but they don't have it everytime. The salmon is baked (yum yum), and it has a leaf of veggie and some spring onion thingie which I throw away, and some nice tartar sauce like sauce. But because it's not sold everytime, and I usually have my Garneln, I didn't eat as much of this as I wanted.

They sell sushi! hehehe~ I only bought that once for the novelty of it. It's not bad la. The rice is a bid too hard, but the fish is can eat one. I mean, it's all raw fish, as long as the fish is fresh they all taste the same. It's expensive, but it's cheaper than the other Japanese food one can get in Germany, especially in a little town. Actually, it was also the ebi that said hi to me. I love ebi! I love prawns mah... But not just because I love prawns, in a sushi bar, my favourites are sake (raw salmon), maguro (raw tuna), and ebi (cooked prawns). And the Kikkoman shoya was also a plus. lol~

That was the only thing I ever bought from Nordsee and regretted. It tasted rubbery. It wasn't fresh. Well, I mean can't expect much from a landlocked town right? Germany isn't famed for it's calamari. But then hor, the raw salmon was not bad leh... I'm guessing that they get the salmon from Norway, Norwegian salmon are like damn nice. The prawns are also quite fresh and nice, I wonder where they get the prawns from.

If only I can bring in Nordsee into Singapore, I don't have to get frozen seafood godknowswhere. There are fresh seafood in Singapore. We aren't an island nation for nothing. Even if we were to bring in seafood from overseas, I think transporting them to Singapore is also easy. With a strong to-go eating culture in Singapore, I think Nordsee can succeed. Just who will be kind enough to bring Nordsee here leh?


My craving pangs seem to be growing stronger and stronger. I really can't talk about food in the middle of the night.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


I was in the toilet in NUS that day when I saw this advert, after that, these pictures that you will see popped up in my mind. Somewhere along the way, I became lazy and stopped posting my travelogues, so I shall start with this again. I'm not sure if I'll do the rest, but well, enjoy these. I really love this place very much.

I first saw this place in somebody's blog, so when I went to visit, I asked for directions to go to that place. It was worth the 45min bus ride~ And I got sunburnt after that little trip. heehee...

(click on them to go to the flickr page and see them big~)
1 - signboard

2 - overview

3 - rivers

4 - animals

5 - artist

6 - shed

7 - sun

8 - road

9 - serenity

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Curiosity Killed the Cat

With all my experience with the rough patch, I should know better than to fulfill my curiosity, but somehow, just thinking that this is a totally different matter from the rough patch, I let my curiosity get the better of me, and now, I'm left so totally disappointed. Oh well... Sometimes mysteries are there for a certain purpose, and to uncover all the mysteries, is not really that fulfilling, sometimes it's better to leave some room for imagination.

I remember a quote from Kaito Kid in one of the Dectective Conan series, he told Conan that he shouldn't always try and unravel every single mystery, because it's more fun to leave things being unknown. Of course Conan refuted that, and Conan indeed solved the mystery. But that's in fiction. If Conan hadn't solved the mystery, there would not be a proper closure in the story and I'd have been upset.

Then there's the experience from the rough patch. I knew that I shouldn't be asking so many questions because the more I ask, either I get more lies, or I get more hurting truths. Lies hurt too, but truth hurts even more, so as not to be hurt, the best is not to ask so much, leave everything to my imagination and maybe it's good, maybe not so good. That time during the rough patch, I asked so much and learnt so much that I was so depressed. I should know learn from my past mistake.

So there I was just now. With my big fat finger, I was deciding whether or not to press that button and satiate my curiosity, find and answer to that imagination of mine, or to leave imagination where it should be, in my mind. Teetering between press and don't press, in a catch 22 position, I succumbed. It isn't that surprising, given that I'm the kind of person who likes to read spoilers before watching a certain anime series or reading a certain manga.

Boy, was I disappointed!

Through bits and pieces of evidence collected over a couple of months, the imagination I drew up was well, okay, I think such things can be subjective, so should I apologise that I have a weird taste and what I imagined to be good is actually disappointing, though the same thing can be considered good to someone else. I have my reasons for the picture I drew up, based on the evidences, so it was really disappointing to see my picture being destroyed with that push of a button.

I think this disappointment really killed the cat. No more imaginations for this girl already, period. But then again, putting an end to this might be also good in a way. Don't want next time, place hopes even higher then will get more disappointed. At least I can go to sleep in peace tonight without thoughts running wild.

But of course before I do that I must complain a bit about the disappointment. How come will like that one???

Actually, this reminds me a bit of the iPhone. It sounded so promising, like wah wah wah then looks so cool and stylish somemore. But the catch behind it is that it only has a 2.0megapixel camera and the camera functions pale in comparison with other current models of handphone, then the bigger catch, it will only be out dunno how long later (2008, I think). Imagine by then what kind of better camera phones will be out in the market liao. Think sooner or later Samsung, or Nokia or Sony-Erikkson will come up with better better camera phones.

I'm not saying that iPhone is no good, just not my cup of tea only. Just like this disappointment, not that it's really that terrible, it's just not appealling to me.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Me Is Sick

It's been about close to two years since I was last sick, sick in the sense of like sore throat, running nose, cough, blah. It was so long ago that I almost forgotten what it was like to be sick. Anyway, I'm sick. I went to the University Health and Wellness Centre, it was so long ago that I last went there that they still had the record of me being on leave lor. wahaha~

I think next time if want to visit the UHWC must go in the morning, before lunch, because after that surely a lot of people.

I don't know why I fell sick. I was okay all the way until that night when suddenly I felt my throat a bit itchy. Usually after drinking water and liang teh will be better, but this time it broke out into a full sore throat and running nose by the end of the night. Over the past two three days I finished two boxes of tissue paper, and a whole lot more packet tissues.

I don't think it was anything I've eaten, so thinking back, the most likely cause might be that I got the bug from somebody (think: Rough Patch), or that it was because the last three nights before I fell sick I slept sleeveless and with the fan directly blowing at me. I guess the erratic weather didn't help at all. Anyway, I'm in a wreck now, so if my sentences become disjointed or something, it's not my fault, blame it on the bug.

A little update in my non-life. School reopened. I'm back to school, so maybe I'll get back a somewhat normal life soon, but we'll see how, after I recover. My sister moved to my grandfather's house, so my place is actually quite quiet recently. I'm back to the anime and manga fixture and some TVB dramas. I think maybe because I'm so deprived that I'm starting to take a liking of Ecchi (go wiki it yourself) anime. It's brainless and fun and funny. Between harem and reverse harem genres, I think I prefer the reverse harem kind (go wiki it yourself).

Actually recently got quite some stuff happening around which I want to blog about more seriously, but my brain so fried that I can't seem to think of how to join up my sentences. I think fever is like microwaving the brain.

I also can't seem to get myself to read. That day I popped by the library and checked out a couple of Donna Leon's books to read again, but I can't seem to concentrate while my brain is slowly cooking itself. I'd lie somewhere and read and I'd fall asleep. I tried reading FMA volume 9 also, fell asleep. I was watching The Jacky Show and wanted to laugh when my choked on my cough and had to wear this numbed expresion throughout the whole show. I didn't even manage to catch The Guess Show when I conked out.

Oh, I suddenly remembered. I bought a new shade of blusher from MAC. I'll wear it the next time I go out. Maybe on Monday to school or maybe Tuesday. Monday I only got one lesson so I don't think I want to waste my time on make up.

Speaking of Monday, I was waiting around school last Monday for someone to pick me up when I saw Farrell, he was like "see you tomorrow", I was stunned lor. I forgot that I've his class on Tuesday. Sucks... A new semester means need to remember a new timetable. I usually don't memorise timetables, I agarate the venue, go there and poke my head around. I don't carry timetables around either. I never get around to printing out my timetables, I don't know why.

Then hor, the tutorial bidding was another fiasco. Firstly, some tutorial slots (read: the one I wanted) were removed, then I couldn't manage to log in CORS at 9am, then I don't know if I'll get those I want. haiya... Reminded me of that day, Friday, I was sick, so I wanted to cab to school. No cab around because it was raining. I call the cab company but too many people call so engaged. Then finally got through, then ECP/AYE jam. I think I just cannot take cabs on Fridays. In the end the cab fare amounted to $25. wah lau...

At night luckily my parents were able to pick me up.

Then went home after dinner and slept until late late. Then on Saturday is also sleep and watch anime/drama, then Sunday also. My very productive life.

I don't understand why some people already started studying on the first week of school lor. Why will have readings why will have homework why will have this and that. I'm so eng lor. If I weren't sick, I'd be watching movie movie and more movies lor. Actually Friday I wanted to watch movie, but I thought eating better than watching movie. wahaha~ The food on Friday was not bad. Took some pictures, maybe will do a review some time later, when my brains not that fried ba.

Okay, I'm getting more and more disjointed and incoherent. Until I'm better, so long~ By the way, I've got that twitter thingie at the side. I'm still capable of short coherent sentences, so I'll update there ba~

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Another Meme

Since I'm waiting for the Daddie to come home and bring me and the Mummie out for dinner, I guess I'll do this one I pinched off some blog out there in the world wide web.

1) Are your parents married or divorced?

2) Are you a vegetarian?

3) Do you believe in Heaven?

4) Have you ever come close to dying?

5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?

6) Favourite time of day?

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
I don't eat broccoli at all, neither do I eat cauliflower.

8) Do you wear makeup?
Light make up.

9) Ever have plastic surgery?

10) Do you colour your hair?

11) What do you wear to bed?
My JCs (first three months JC, and the after first three months JC) PE t-shirts, and Secondary school and JCs PE shorts.

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
Yes. Nothing major though.

13) Can you roll your tongue?

14) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?

15) What kind of sneakers?
I don't own any. If I do buy one, I'd buy an adidas one. wah lau... 20 pairs of footwear and no sneakers, quite amazing sia... hehehe~

16) Do you believe in Abortions?
No. But well...

17) What is your Hair color?
Dark natural brown.

18) Future child’s name?
James, Jades, Ivan (pronounced the central European way, not the American way).

19) Do you snore?

20) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
Depends on my mood. Currently, I want to go back to Freiburg.

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No. All my stuff toys are wrapped in plastic bags and hidden in some drawers and cupboards which I never open. I don't even remember some of them exists. So do NOT give me any stuff toys, I'll plastic bag them and hide them somewhere.

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Cash the ticket, get the money, give my family a treat, buy something I've been wanting in a very long time but never bought it. Wait, I don't have anything like that, so I guess I'll just eat and grow fat, then go for slimming sessions.

23) Gold or silver?
No preference.

24) Hamburger or hot dog?
Hot dog.

25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
No way, I'd die.

26) City, beach or country?
Depends on my mood.

27) What was the last thing you touched?

28) Where did you eat last?
Werner's Oven. 6 Upper East Coast Road.

29) When’s the last time you cried?
Two nights ago.

30) Do you read blogs?

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?

32) Ever been involved with the police?
Once. It was in secondary school, after some exam paper at about 9+am. Me and a friend wanted to walk to Suntec from school. Instead of taking the usual Nicoll Highway Route, we took the Benjamin Sheares Bridge Route. Somewhere along East Coast Park this two policemen in a police car stopped us, they thought we pontang-ed class. After some explanation, they said they wanted to drive us over to Suntec, but we obviously declined. So the story ended there. Gave me and my friend a big scare though.

33) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
I use medicated shampoo and either Herbal Essence or Body Shop conditioner. Body Shop shower and bath gel for me.

34) Do you talk in your sleep?

35) Ocean or pool?

38) Window seat or aisle?
Mostly aisle.

39) Ever met anyone famous?
The most famous person I ever met is probably Fann Wong. I met Tan Howe Liang before though, but I don't think he's the same kind of famous as Fann Wong.

40) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?

43) Basketball or Football?
Watch football. wahaha~

44) How long do your showers last?
Shower, about 10min, baths about 30min.

45) Automatic or do you drive a stick?
Don't drive at all.

46) Cake or ice cream?
Neither, but if forced to choose, ice cream.

47) Are you self-conscious?

48) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
No. But I once ate too much and drank a bit, felt so queasy, almost threw up but didn't.

49) Have you ever given money to a beggar?

50) Have you been in love?
Subjective to the meaning of love.

51) Where do you wish you were?
Now, I want to go to Shanghai and eat xiaolongbao.

52) Are you wearing socks?

53) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

54) Can you tango?

55) Last gift you received?
Some crap during Christmas.

56) Last sport you played?
Swam. See post below.

57) Things you spend a lot of money on?
Food. Clothes. Bags.

58) Where do you live?
East Coast.

59) Where were you born?
Mount Alvernia.

60) Last wedding attended?
Some not important person's. Blogged about it but lazy to dig and find and link.

63) Most hated food(s)?
Lots. Strawberry confectionary would be the worst sia. Strawberries are fine if ate by itself, those artificial strawberry stuff are the worst. Once I ate this thing with a friend, then there was a slab of pinkish jelly thing which I didn't eat. My friend ate his and told me it was nice. I took a bite. Goodness. I almost puked it out. I was spluttering "strawberry" and he was like "isn't it nice". OMG... And he's a guy. OMG...

64) What’s your least fav.?

65) Can you sing?
K Box singing. Will never win any singing award kind.

66) Last person you instant messaged?
Rough Patch. Last IM and last SMS.

67) Last place you went on holiday?
Somewhere I don't wish to mention. It's not really a holiday, it was just going there and stoning in the hotel room. crappy...

68) Favourite regular drink?

69) Tag 3 friends:

70) Current Song?
Candy Lo's 风吹不走笑容 the theme song for Lady Fan

Marlin is the Champions

I went for a swim today, after many procrastinations and excuses, I finally pulled my butt out of the bed and went down to the pull. Clear weather, no bleeding, no excuses of any sorts, having all the time but nothing to do to burn time, seems like some higher being up there finally wants be to go for a swim and burn the pork knuckle I had for lunch.

Because I didn't want to tie my hair up because I was too lazy, I dug out an old old swimming cap. Don't tell me to swim with my hair floating in the water, it's just so inconsiderate. I hate it hate it hate it when long hair people swim without tying their hair up. Their hair will drop and clog up the pool. So dirty. Also, on a personal level, swimming without tying my hair up will tangle my hair and creating a mess when I wash it. I'd need to spend half the day in the bathroom with tons of conditioner trying to untangle the entangled hair.

So I dug out my orange Eyeline swimming cap. I remember the day, albeit a bit woozy, when I bought this cap. I was about primary 5. I was with the parents. I needed to buy a cap for competitive training. I chose the orange one because I was in Marlin house. In the heydays, Marlin was the longtime champion and I was so proud to be a Marlin. Orange was our house colour. Wearing the orange cap was a sign of my loyalty. Actually during the swimming meets, all houses would give free (cheap) caps to their swimmers, but individual swimmers (the better ones) can use their own (better) caps for obvious reasons. But when using out own caps, the cheerleaders wouldn't be able to identify you as their house swimmers and can't really cheer for you. Or at least that was what selfish vain me thought because before every heats and finals, the cheerleaders would be given the race list and identify which lanes contain swimmers from their house.

I remember the previous meet, most good swimmers have caps in traditional colours like black and blue, blue is also the colour of another house, so there were always some mis-cheering. To let cheerleaders clearly identify me, I picked the orange cap. hehehe~ I can't believe I can still use the cap until today.

When I picked the orange cap, the daddie was bewildered. I remembered he asked me specifically why I chose this colour. There was a tone of disgust when he asked me that. It was only after I explained that my house colour was orange that he seemed relentent. I guess it is only people who've been the Britain, or go way back to the colonial era that fully understand the concept of houses since the house system is a typical British public school (public meaning private, damn the Brits man...)thingie. lol~

I remember at that time the daddie was saying that cap was made of silicon, he got the store assistant to show me the insides of the cap, it was textured for easy wear and easy removal but resistant to water pressure. And I remembered it cost a lot, about $14, I think, for one bloody swimming cap. But to be able to wear it more than a decade later, I think it was worth the money spent.

And to be able to hear people cheering for me when I swam, hehehe... It felt great. Okay, that vainity speaking. When in the pool swimming, I can't hear anything, can't hear people cheering for me at all. But when I wore that cap and stepped up the the podium receiving my throphy, I could hear the cheers. With my little bit of contribution, I aided my house to receive the house award at the end of the whole meet based on all the results of every level.

Those days at Chinese Swimming Club were indeed fun. Makes me kinda sad I'm so old now. I think next time when I'm rich and successful, I want to get a membership with the Chinese Swimming Club. A little for the sake of nostalgia...

Oh yea, I made 2km in about an hour today, a tad off my usual mark, but I think I swam enough to burn that fatty cripsy pork knuckle I had for lunch.

Monday, January 08, 2007


I am, by dialect a Hokkien, as printed on my birth certificate. But my maternal side is Cantonese, so I am also quite well exposed to Cantonese. I speak neither well because I don't live with any of my grandparents, so my lack of knowledge of dialects doesn't hinder me in any way.

Recently, because of my Singapore Film module, I was being exposed to quite a number of Singapore films which contain quite a bit of Hokkien and my Hokkien improved by quite a bit. At least it's enough for me to hold a conversation with my grandfather and help my cousin and my sister to translate. My sister and cousin never learnt Hokkien because my grandfather speaks English and Chinese, more of my grandfather's English another time though.

I think I've mentioned in my blog a couple of times, I'm closer to my paternal side of my family because basically I don't really like some figures from my maternal side. And because of my unwillingness to converse with them, I don't use Cantonese that much. I once read somewhere that more Cantonese families usually converse in Cantonese at home than families of other dialects. It seems to be true in my family too. Most of my maternal aunts converse in Cantonese between themselves while the Daddie converses in English with his sisters and brother-in-laws.

Okay, the topic today is Cantonese and not dialects in general so I better focus a bit. A couple of days ago I caught Confession of Pain which as with other Hong Kong movies screened in Singapore, was dubbed in Mandarin. Most of the actors did their own Mandarin dubbing so it was not that bad, but Tony Leung's dubbing was done by someone else, and it was very badly done. After the movie, I went onto Youtube to search for Cantonese clips of Confession of Pain, hoping that after hearing Tony Leung in Cantonese can help lessen my trauma of hearing his dub in the movie. It did help, thank God.

While at Youtube, I came across a couple of Takeshi Kaneshiro interviews. Watching these interviews in their original language without subtitles, I realised that I can actually understand Cantonese. I don't know why but this revelation hit me pretty strong, sort of like I'm expecting myself not being able to understand. I must admit, Takeshi Kaneshiro's Cantonese isn't that good, in fact he at times had to revert to Mandarin to get this message across, but well, the interview was indeed in Cantonese.

I refer back to a memory of me being in a neighbouring country which I hold great disdain for. In a queue, I overheard a couple of kids (about 16-18 years old) talking in Cantonese. My first thought when I heard them was "These kids sound so gay." Then I thought, "Cantonese is such a gay dialect." Maybe at that time, after watching all those gangsterish Hokkien films, that was my thought. But after I had that thought I realise that I made a huge mistake. In saying that Cantonese was gay I had negated my love for Hong Kong movies, TVB dramas and all the TVB ah-ges that I love.

Then later another revelation hit me harder. The medium of conversation between the parents was Cantonese, so in saying that Cantonese is gay is almost like saying that the Daddie is gay. oops... The parents speak Cantonese at home because the Daddie's Mandarin is damn bad and maybe it's also because of the Cantonese factor itself ba.

So, I've to conclude that Cantonese is not gay, as much as I might wanted it to be, and it was only those kids who were gay.

That memory stung me, and I realised that that is a reason why I should not have been surprised with my ability in understanding those Cantonese interviews I watched on Youtube. The parents speak Cantonese at home, even though they don't speak to me, and I don't answer them in Cantonese, after listening to them for twenty years, I should have been able to comprehend quite perfectly. (I speak English at home, sometimes a bit of Mandarin. Other than "fuck" and "shit", I curse and swear in Hokkien.)

Rewind a couple of months ago when I was in Strasbourg, I met a pair of Hong Kong girls and we travelled a bit with them. On an occasion when my friend and one of the girls were in the homestay sleeping, I went on a walk around the town with the other Hong Kong girl. We conversed in English until a point I we were having difficulty understanding each other, I told her to speak in Cantonese while I spoke in Mandarin. That arrangement worked much better for the both of us.

So, why was I so surprised that I was able to understand Takeshi Kaneshiro's interview?

The only answer I came to after some thinking was that living in Singapore pampered me so much with subtitles that subtitles came so naturally to me. Even online, stuff I watch comes with fansubs, Japanese anime, Chinese dramas, all of those are catered to the American English speaking audience. So basically everything I watch comes with subtitles, even lately all the Hong Kong dramas on Channel 8 comes in both English and Chinese subtitles. Even the Taiwanese variety programmes I watch are equipped with Chinese subtitles. Sooner to come, all news in Singapore will also feature captions so that deaf people can watch the news too. It's almost as if I can't watch anything without subtitles.

So it's not the fault of the dialect itself. I'm still trying to decide if I actually like that dialect. Within my family, I do not like those who speak in Cantonese, ie the maternal side relatives. And those gayish kids' voices still haunt me everytime I think about that dialect. (Really, people with gayish voices should not be allowed to talk. On another note, I have nothing against gay people, it's just that ah gua-ish high pitch voice that I greatly dislike. On yet another note to dispell notions that I might be discriminating gays, I'm a big sucker for yaoi, I think Brad is almost god-like, and recently I've this bit crush on this gay blogger whom I think is damn cute, and I like his writings, and have a big soft spot on his sexual escapades.)

Maybe if there isn't such a thing as dubbing, and I get to hear the voices of my favourite TVB stars on a regular basis, I might like that dialect. Right now the only two people whom I can hear Cantonese from are the parents which isn't really that helpful.

hmm... I was thinking if I've any Cantonese albums, but I don't. Okay, I've a couple of Wang Fei's Cantonese tracks, but no male Cantonese singer's albums. Wait, I do have one entirely Cantonese album, Karen Mok's 《一枝金花》, but no male singer's. Maybe a couple of Andy Lau and Aaron Kwok's tracks. Other Cantonese tracks I have are all opening themes from various TVB dramas.

Maybe I should buy a couple of TVB drama serials on VCD to watch.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

New Semester Ahead

It's very stressful to hear people repeatedly asking if this semester is going to be my last semester because I really don't know the answer and I'd appreciate it if people don't intrude into my life. So what if it is, so what if it isn't, it's not like whether I do honours it'd affect you. It's not even close friends who are asking me about it, it's irritating buggers. As of me typing this blog, I haven't converted my credits for my exchange programme two semesters ago, so as of now, I do not have enough credits to graduate. Happy with this answer?

It took more than the duration of the entire winter holidays (is there even winter in Singapore) for someone from my department to reply me the email I had regarding graduating with a European Studies degree. It's like about five weeks for a reply. This is the level of efficiency of NUS, thank you very much.

I think if I am going to work hard in the coming semester, then I will be doing another year of studies since I have already two level 4000 modules in my cache after I complete this semester. Either way, or I might want to extend a semester to work on my CAP and forgo the credits I've earned during my exchange. I know if I put in just a bit more time and effort the improvement of my results can be tremendous, but.

CORS this semester was again one big headache. A module I wanted to do was so hot that I didn't have enough bid points for it. In the end, also the thought os perhaps doing the next semester made me give up doing that hot module and settle for something less hot and much cheaper, but also fits well into my three day week. Compromising the three day week is starting at 10am each day, although I also end early on two of the days, so I guess my timetable is pretty slack.

Take a look at the modules I'll be doing this semester

There's a good mix of level 1000, 2000, 3000 and 4000 modules~

I'm a bit apprehensive with the start of the new term because I know that I need to get my credits converted and I still have one schein I haven't received from my prof in Germany and I need to remind him about it and after so many so many months, it feels very awkward to bring this matter up.

To talk a bit about the modules I'll be taking.

Forensic Science.

After paying so much in bid points for this modules, I hope what I paid will be worthwhile. I've been watching quite a few detective animes recently and I hope what I've learnt from those anime will be put to use, maybe I'll also start watching CSI or something. This is also the only module I'm doing with someone this semester. Correction: The only module other than my German module. It's sad always to bid for module and know that you don't know anyone doing the same modules as you, but I guess it's inevitable because none of my friends really share the same interest in modules with me. Even those friends I made in classes, and those whom I usually see in classes, because I'm re-doing the two EU modules, the people whom I know have already taken them last year.

Wei, you know who you are, you better let me sit beside you during this class hor.

My friends who took this module last semester all said this is an interesting module, even that friend who skipped more than half the lectures said it was interesting. I don't know if I should exercise my S/U option on it because I need to pull up my CAP so with a bit of studying, maybe I can use this to pull up my CAP. I guess I still have a couple of lectures to decide if I want to S/U it.

Einstein's Universe and Quantum Weirdness.

This was actually a backup plan because I wasn't able to get another module, but I don't regret it because this was actually one of the modules I had considered last semester but couldn't make it because of timetable clashes. My biggest gribe about this module is the two 10am lectures. With the compulsory German tutorial every week, I now have all three of my workdays starting at 10am. I hope I won't be skipping them like what I did for my 10am class last semester.

It might seem quite weird for Joan to want to even consider this module, but I think Quantum theory is something very interesting after Andrew showed me a video about it. After that video, I talked to the Daddie about it and last semester I wanted to do the module. A bit geared up for the first lecture.

But to be on the safe side, I will be S/Uing this module. It is after all a physics module. My O level physics was although an A2, I struggled through with nothing higher than a C6 in my Secondary three and four years.

Empires, Colonies and Imperialism.

This is a module I did half last year, and I thought I can slack through it but after checking the syllabus, I realised that one whole portion of stuff has been changed to suit the lecturer doing this module. I guess I now can't slack as much as I want to.

Sometime after I got this module, I received an email from Prof Farrell. I was quite touched that I finally revealled a couple of trade secrets to him, which I think disappointed him, but I had to confess to him because the burden which I have been carrying for so long has been making me feel so guilty that I hadn't wanted to continue with another Farrell module. I might appear to be a conscientious student, but I'm really one of the slackest students. Everytime he says my essay is improving, I feel guiltier because with each passing essay, I put in lesser time and effort on it up till the point last semester where my essay last semester was done within like two hours. The research was so substandard and last minute that, oh, it was just so bad that I don't know how to describe it. The project was so bad too because my group was a group of slackers too. But it wasn't the worst project I've done, the Total War project was really bad.

I don't know who is more disappointed with me, him or myself. I can't promise myself that I will work hard for this semester to make it up because I know I'm a lazy pig. I have to put in my place the theory of my working style, the opportunity cost theory, take work and rest to be in contrast with each other, I need to balance out the amount of work and rest that is the most is gained out of the least.

This is also the final semester determining my future.

Cold War in Europe.

This is another module I've done half of it and will be continuing this semester, but the difference is that while last semester I learnt of stuff, this semester I still have the knowledge of that and after being in Berlin at the line Cold War I now know more stuff. Going to Berlin was one eye opening experience which I think can't be learnt in class.

But also because this is from last year, those I know have already done it and I'll be doing this module all by myself, not that it's something new for me, but well... I'm actually quite a bit excited for the lecture. Wonder if Prof Murfett will remember me anot, I sort of literally disappeared from classes after my leave of absence went through.

German 6.

I can proudly say I know everyone in this class. After five straight semesters of German, I guess it's time to already know everybody. From those freshies I met last semester, to the old old senior who I don't know why is he still in school, must ask him when I see him in class ba.

Quite a number of the German students have left or are leaving on their exchange programmes, I think I'll miss them, but I guess I'll also will be seeing them in the first couple of weeks as guest students before they fly. hmm... That will make quite a lot of guest students.

Oh well... I guess it's back to work now for me. Can't watch that much anime and can't read that much manga and can't play too much Sudoku and can't sleep too late and can't stay at home as much as I want. I can't be the hermit as much as I had done during the holidays. I also will have to start bathing regularly, and have to wash my clothes if not got nothing to wear. ahh...

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Layers Meme

I'm bored. And too lazy to think of any blogging material, not really too lazy to think, but too lazy to put to words. lol~

Layer ONE
On the Outside
Name: Joan Ang
Birth Date: 25 February 19-something
Current Status: Debatable
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Layer TWO
On the inside
Your Heritage: Chinese
Your Fears: The unknown, crowds, wailing babies/kids.
Your Weaknesses: Love
Your Perfect Pizza: Without onions, pineapples, capsicans, peppers, lots of chicken, ham, bacon, seafood, but the prawns must be deshelled especially the tail shell, cheese, all on a tomato base, that's the most important, tomato base.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: What's the time now? Did anyone call/SMS me while I was sleeping? Can I sleep somemore?
Your Bedtime: Anytime when I'm tired.
Your most missed memory: Being young and innocent.

Layer FOUR
Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke, plain good old normal coke.
McDonald’s or Burger King: Neither
Adidas or Nike: adidas, as spelt with the small a.
Lipton tea or Nestea: Same.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate, if I were to pick one, but I don't really fancy either that much.
Cappuccino or coffee: Latte

Layer FIVE
Do you
Smoke: No
Curse: Vulgaries, yes.

Layer SIX
In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Yes
Gone to the mall: Yes
Been on stage: No
Eaten sushi: Yes
Dyed your hair: No, I have virgin hair, remember?

Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: No
Changed who you were to fit in: Subconsciously, maybe.

Age you’re hoping to be married: Not planning to marry, unless...

Layer NINE
In a Girl/Guy
Best eye colour: Baby Blue
Best hair colour: Strawberry Blond (girl)/Blond Blond (guy)
Short or long hair: Long (girl)/doesn't matter (guy)

Layer TEN
What Were You Doing
1 minute ago: Watching anime
1 hour ago: Watching TV
4.5 hours ago: Watching anime or TV or both
1 month ago: At exactly one month (31 days) ago, at this very same time, most probably watching anime or reading manga.
1 year ago: Having fun, I guess.

Finish the sentence
I love: I don't know what I love.
I feel: a bit numb.
I hate: I don't know what I hate.
I hide: myself from the world to prevent myself from being hurt all over again.
I miss: Rough Patch.
I need: a bit more time.

Shall go back to watching animes and reading blogs now.

Thursday, January 04, 2007


Lately I've been quite unlucky. Or maybe clumsy might be a better term, but it's not that I wanted things to happen. I don't know why buy increasingly I'ven been knocking body parts into stationary objects even though I can see those objects there before I make my move. It hurts so badly to see blue blacks all over my body, especially over my legs since it's the most oft hit part. My mother summed it up quite aptly, "Maybe it's not the furniture, maybe it's you."

Then yesterday, my unluckiness hit an all time high. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (not literally though). I woke up, got out of bed, and heard a crack sound. I stepped on my spectacles and my lens cracked. damnit sia...

I went down to my optical shop to get the lens replaced. I thought my lens cost only $80 but it turned out to be $100. I remembered wrongly. Bloody hell, $100 for one small piece of lens lor, so expensive. Worse was that I didn't manage to get the shuai optician to tend to me. Even the store manager whom I know better wasn't there too. In the end this newbie tended to me. sian... After she tended to me, settled me down, then I noticed that the store manager was in the lens room busy with something. Then it was like 5 minutes after I sat down that the shuai optician appeared. I think he went for lunch because he was in plainclothes. Then after 10 minutes he got changed and started working again. wahaha~ If only I was 15 minutes late, I could get him to tend to me.

That was not the only suay thing that happened to me yesterday sia. When I was only my way to Parkway on the bus, this stupid little school boy from Chai Chee Sec brushed his dirty school shoe over my clean freshly washed thigh while I was attempting to alight. kanasai. Then at night at Marina Square, I met another inconsiderate prick. I was walking along the corridor outside the mall after watching a movie, it was raining but the corridor was sheltered. Don't know where this woman came from, she was carrying an umbrella and she brushed by me and my friend to push ahead of us even though she wasn't in a hurry and I wasn't walking slowly. Her stupid umbrella dripped water all over my leg and she didn't even apologise, not even after I gave her the stare and said very loudly that my leg was all wet. It made me feel so cold after I went back into the mall. stupid idiot.

I don't understand hor, how come the short path from the overhead bridge to the bus stop at Suntec City is not sheltered. The overhead bridge is sheltered, the bus stop is sheltered, but that 5m walk is not. It just doesn't make sense. The bus stop opposite One Raffles Link and outside the underpass from Esplanade is also not sheltered. No, the bus stop is sheltered, but that 5m walk from the underpass to the bus stop is not. It just doesn't make any sense.

It reminds me so badly of NUS arts. The bus stop outside Central Library and LT13 is sheltered, but that 5m walk is not and everytime it rains all the arts students get drenched. Wait, now to think about it, the walkway from the bus stop to Bizad is also not sheltered. This is so crap. Once it rains the whole NUS gets fucked up with students everywhere no road to walk unless they are willing to get drenched.

I think lately I've been so unluckly that I've been jinxing my team to keep drawing their matches. kanasai. Okay, maybe not to draw their matches, but more like jinxing them to get their players injured so they can't play to their best. It hurt to see them in such a bad shape.

Then just now I was so suay that I made the stupidest typo ever. I wanted to say "I give you another passage" but I typed too fast or was it that my brain to shut down that I typed out "I give you another massage". kanasai. That stupid asshole I was on MSN with took full use of my stupidness to his advantage and now I'm totally embarrassed. kanasai. To think I so good share with you that very funny thing. bah~

Maybe I should wash myself in pomelo leaves or something.

Relationship Issues

I thought hard about it before picking up to write this post because it is really one that delves deep into the darkness of my heart. I'm used to self-censorship because I don't know who reads my blog (a couple of days ago a prof dropped me an email and mentioned a bit about the blog entry which I confessed to not having studied for the exams, erm... Just hope I won't be marked down next semester.), but somehow, I need this outlet to chronicle some of my deepest thoughts.

I was talking to Cindy yesterday about relationships, love horoscopes and about guys. She mentioned that she liked playing mind games, she thinks that that's the fun in romance. She also said that she doesn't want to be hurt, and in protecting herself from being hurt, she "plays" without being serious. Maybe it's because of her character, or her past experiences of being hurt. I thought about myself, in every aspect, I disagree with her views. I can't afford to play any mind games because I take things too seriously and ultimately always end up hurt. I'm also too jaded from playing, too jaded from being hurt, too jaded for everything. Maybe it's because of my character, or my past experiences of being hurt.

Friends that came from way back with me would know the whole story about X, and how much time and youth I've wasted. From the past experience of X, I'm now very guarded about my relationships. Not many people know anything about my private life. On a hand count, there's Cindy which I only told her about some stuff yesterday, there's Yanwei, who knows a very biased bit, Eugene, a fairer account, but still a bit nonetheless, Peiting knows a bit too and a bit about another encounter but I haven't really chatted with her since quite some time ago, so it's not that up to date. Jinwei used to know a bit more, but since the beginning of last semester when he disappeared from MSN and we drifted apart, well... Even all these people whom I did mention something to, no one really knows the whole picture of what's happening. I confess, sometimes I lie, sometimes I leave out major information, sometimes I give out false information, sometimes I just don't wish to talk about it.

It's very interesting that other than Peiting, the rest who knows about me aren't people who came from way back with me, and I think this might also be the reason why I think I'm trying to distance myself from the people from way back. Even the Chinese Drama people, I see myself trying to shy away from them of late. I'm no longer comfortable among people who have a misconception of me, and people whom I think can't reach the complex level of my emotions and thoughts. Going out with the girls can sometimes be a chore because they all seem to be living in their own protected world. Okay, it might also be because I don't bother prying details of people's private life that i might misunderstand people. But facts remain, how many of them, how many people in general been through what I've been through?

Eugene and Yanwei might have their own problems, it might be complicated problems, but put things straight down the line, those aren't problems that can't be solved. I might be getting a bit over indulgent with my problems here, but I can't help but feel this way seeing how other people talk about their problems which they think are so great but to me it's just nothing, and to see some people, like the girls, who are still innocent, and protected, honestly, it irks me. It irks me so much that I hate myself.

Sometimes I wish I could live a normal life, find a normal guy, fall in love, romance the normal way, go for a normal dinner, watch a normal movie, talk normal walks, do normal things, talk normal issues, and have a peaceful life. But after experiencing upheavals, can I accept a normal life? I don't know...

Cindy said, as long as I'm happy, if not I should reconsider. But happiness is something self-defined. Who can determine if I'm happy? Myself. And how do I say I'm happy? It's difficult. This is also another reason why I hate to talk about my problems. I know what people will advise me to do, and I know that I won't heed any of their advice. I know what is the "correct" thing to do, but I don't want to do it.

As I said previously, most of the time when I tell things to people, I don't say the whole truth. One very important detail I always seems to leave out is my own failings. I'm not as saintly as I always try to victimise myself. I always say how bad how bad it is that I'm always being lied to, but I lie too, and the fact that I stuck on also shows that I am no longer the victim.

Cindy asked me what kind of guys do I generally like, or don't like. I said I generally dislike stupid people, or people who think they are smart but are not. I don't like immatured pricks, people without drive, people without a mind of their own... But the more I think about people I don't like the more I can't think of people I might like. Then there's my problem too.

argh... I'm losing my train of thought.

I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.

Talk about another thing instead. Cindy and I went through this list of horoscopes which supposedly shows some love meter thing. I seem to be able to hit off well with (I think) Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, so I thought back on the kind of guys I like(d). Then I realised, it doesn't really matter now because different people have different personalities, different experiences which contribute differently to their thoughts and perceptions.

Jinwei once said that I should try out something more normal so that I won't fall further in my own rough patch. I didn't heed it. Don't know why, but now thinking back, maybe I should have... Would now be too late?

I have four more days to think about it.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Lady Fan

Lady Fan
Channel 8 Monday-Friday 7pm

Because I was previously out of town, and also coupled with some other reasons, I haven't managed to catch many episodes, only a couple full episodes and segments here and there, but I must say, they can change the actors, they can change the characters, they can change a bit of the story like, but I still want to curse Xue Dingshan every night. The story of Fan Lihua has been retold many times, I'm very familiar with it, in fact, I really like sucker love stories like that, but the more I like Fan Lihua the more I feel indignant for her, and the more I think Xue Dingshan is an asshole.

I came to know of the story of Fan Lihua quite some time ago when I still lived in the pigeon hole of PGP, my full account of how I came to know of here can be found in this old entry of me being a sucker for the Taiwanese version of Fan Lihua. There are a few differences in this version of Fan Lihua, but the main story is still the same, Fan Lihua marries Xue Dingshan, Xue Dingshan angers her into three times leaving him, in the end they got back together, and Xue Dingshan fulfills the forewarning of him killing his own father.

The TVB version has Xue Dingshan not already being in love with Fan Lihua when he married her and his love for her was a cultivated one, the Taiwanese version however has Xue Dingshan and Fan Lihua already being in love with each other which led to their marriage. Both mother-in-laws still harbour great dislike for Fan Lihua and do their very best to want to get rid of her, but Fan Lihua has the backing of an important court official Cheng Yaojin. The Taiwanese Xue Rengui is more loving and trusting of Fan Lihua while the TVB one seems to be rather neutral and was more concern with trying to prevent his son from fulfilling the foretelling of killing him and putting the Great Tang in an advantageous position.

(grr... after slamming Xue Dingshan and Chen Jinding blogger ate up my post, and the recover post only takes me this far. kanasai. I'll try my best to slam them again, but the essence will be lost. damn.)

I don't think I'll go on about how much I absolutely detest the characters Xue Dingshan and Chen Jinding since the former is already a much debatable historical figure (?) and the latter is the main villian in the show. And I've been cursing and complaining about the narrow-mindedness and indecisiveness of Xue Dingshan for almost two years already, I should have said enough of him. I don't know if Xue Dingshan is supposed to be a pitiable character since he will have to bear the burden of being the one who killed his father. I do hate him to almost the core, but seeing how much he respects his father, I kind of feel a bit sad for him to know that he would one day accidentally kill his father.

Comparing the TVB version and the Taiwanese version, the Taiwanese version is well, like all Taiwanese dramas go, a bit long winded, but the TVB one in an attempt to keep this to 20 episodes, I think doesn't really do justice to the minor characters in the show. And as one reviewer said, it takes 15 episodes for Xue Dingshan to fall in love with Fan Lihua. There isn't the indulgence for which I can cry over Fan Lihua every night like how I did over the Taiwanese version.

The actors of the Taiwanese version is much older than the actors of the TVB one, but with age comes maturity andacting experience. I'm not sure about the exact age of Fan Lihua and Xue Dingshan, but the TVB actors aren't exactly really young actors, Jessica Hester Hsuan and Joe Ma are 30+ people, but counting the number of years they have been acting really pales in comparison to Sun Cuifeng and Ma Jingtao. Jessica Hester Hsuan is still not that bad even though I really hate her costume and hairdo in the show. wah lau... The costume and hairdo makes her look like some housewife rather than a military woman, okay, her armour getup is still not bad, but her civilian dressing is really damn auntie. I prefer the costume of Sun Cuifeng, prettier. lol~

The acting of Joe Ma is really terrible despite my love for that man. He can act like himself, those shuai shuai playboy playboy kind of guy, but acting as Xue Dingshan, he still lacks the emotional depth. Okay, not just as Xue Dingshan, as any other character, Joe Ma still is unable to reach the deapths of the emotions and feelings of the characters he plays. But he's still damn shuai. It's damn cute to see him standing beside Shek Sau because he's like one whole head taller than him. Ma Jingtao is more of a prettier actor, and his Qiongyao works make him already the kind of actor who can convey emotions well. Much as I dislike him, I have to say his acting kicks Joe Ma's ass.

The other actors in the TVB version are still quite all right except for the girl acting as Chen Jinding. omg... She's like a block of wood, and I can't stand it when she's acting beside Joe Ma because both of them are so bad that they bring out the worst of each other. I can't still tahan Joe Ma's acting because he's always surrounded with good actors who make him look better, but beside that actress as Chen Jinding, they only look like two blocks of wood repeating lines. It looks so bad that I want to punch the both of them up. I like the actor as Xue Yinglong, he's very cute.

I'm quite surprised that Xue Rengui was acted by Shek Sau. I happened to glance at the credits the other day and was surprised to see Shek Sau's name in the list, but I can't tell who was he acting. It was only after googling that I realised that Shek Sau was acting as Xue Rengui. Maybe it was after staring at the damn cute Shek Sau in Triumph in the Skies that made him unrecognisable as someone more serious. hehe... I think some people would when they hear me say this, but I think Shek Sau is really very shuai. I go back to those days when Shek Sau himself was a leading man, he's got this matured man rugged charm, sort of a bit like Wubai like that. I like~ His version of Xue Rengui unfortunately is not really that memorable, and at times I find that this Xue Rengui is overtly paraniod about being killed by his son.

But the one thing I really really like that came out of this period drama and the main reason I keep myself glued to the telly is because of the theme song. It's really good.

the full version of the theme song of TVB's 烽火奇遇结良缘

几多劫难 再闯几个关
握紧你手 纵使天塌下

我要摘到 悬崖上的樱桃
跌过极痛 才会试到最好

风吹不再凶 吹不散笑容
共你凄风苦雨 仍胜过孤独
不管千军剑锋 未怕火海万重

风急雨下 再闯几个关
握紧你手 纵此生有限

我要摘到 悬崖上的樱桃
跌过极痛 才会试到最好

风吹不再凶 吹不散笑容
共你凄风苦雨 仍胜过孤独
不管千军剑锋 未怕火海万重

风吹得再凶 吹不散笑容
共你饱经风雨 仍抗拒屈服
不管千军剑锋 未怕火海万重

Candy Lo is really a good singer, but I think she sings better in Cantonese than in Mandarin. This song has the very standard period drama feel to it, and I can almost imagine out the story of Fan Lihua and Xue Dingshan when hearing the song. The melody is also very catchy, almost familiar. It's now playing on repeat mode on my player.

joan's rating: 3/5