Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Himalayas to the Marianas

Remember my imagery, from Himalayas to the Marianas?
Hehe... That was what I felt in the last 24hr...

I started out at Himalayas with a very blissful dream, a dream in which I felt peace, comfort and serenity. But the day evolved into one which brought me right smack in the centre of cold, harsh reality. Then it pushed me right down into the Marianas. Only that this time I knew it wasnt pms.

Its amazing how little control one have over self. One may think that he seems to be controlling his own fate but is he really controlling it? Or is fate controlling him?

From an ancient Chinese tale:
There was once a flag in the middle of a large field. A gust of wind blew across the field and the flag swayed with the breeze. A sage asked his disciples which was causing the other to move. The first disciple answered that it was the wind causing the flag to move. Upon hearing that, the second disciple blurted out that it was not true as it was actually the flag causing the wind to move. The sage answered that in fact neither moved, rather, it was their minds that moved the wind and the flag.

Well, to me, I think that all the answers can be true. What really moved is what you want it to be moved. If you want the flag to move the wind, then so be it; if you want the wind to move the flag, then so be it; if you want neither to move, then so be it; if you want both to move, then so be it. No one can stop you from thinking so.

The moral of the story? Fate and self runs parallel to each other, pessimists will let themselves be controlled by fate and the optimists will try and control fate. I’m a pessimist trying to act like an optimist. I know I can control fate, but I dont want to, I don’t know why, I just don’t want to.

I wanted to feel happy before I slept last night, so I had that nice dream and woke up feeling happy, after some occurred events, I let myself sink deeply into decadence, hence my sad feelings now. I know I can always stop these bad thoughts by keeping my mind clear, but I dont want to do so, I want to let my mind explore the range of my feelings.


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

The Return

I went to watch The Return.
And lo and behold, it was screened in cinema 6 of Cathay Cineleisure. In my last entry I described it as small 100-seater cinema, but ytd I counted the number of seats inside, 100 was a very rough estimate! There were only 68 seats inside that tiny room!

The outline of The Return is rather similar to Japanese Story, only more enigmatic, more engaging, and more sad. Sad as in it really invites your heart to bleed for the characters. My heart bled for the father, for the two sons, and also for the mother. The only regret that I have is not being able to speak the language. I felt rather short-changed by the translation. I dont know why, its just a feeling I felt while watching the characters talk.

I caught the trailer of In Terminal.
I think that will be the next movie I will be watching. Anybody wants to join me? It seems to be about Tom Hanks as this foreigner whose flight is delayed at this American airport. His passport was also held in custody of the officials rendering Hanks to have to stay confined in the airport. Seems like a funny film and Catherine Zeta-Jones and Steven Spielberg both add to the watch factor. This film seems to be in the same category as Catch Me If You Can, Steven Spielberg’s previous film and I think that the legend is quite suited for these kinds of films!

After reading Jasmine’s regular Additions and Acquisitions, Joan is prompted to start a personal regular on her blog.

Welcome to Stupidity Symptoms!

Stupidity Symptoms 1
Joan and Friend were on board an MRT. Joan suddenly develops a craving for ToriQ’s yakitori. Joan turned to Friend saying, “I want to eat chicken! Chickee chickee chickee ckickee-en! Quack quack quack quack...” Then Joan stopped suddenly as a wave of thought swept past her and she burst out laughing. “Wrong wrong wrong wrong!” After laughing for another short moment, Joan turned back to Friend and said, “Let me start again. I want to eat chicken! Chickee chickee chickee ckickee-en! Cock-cock-cock-cock-kay...”

Stupidity Symptoms 2
Joan and Friend were at Taka’s Kinokuniya. Joan went over to the shelf carrying Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle (its a Jap comic) 1-5. Joan disappointedly said to Friend, “Hai... Number 6 not out yet.” Friend walked over to the outer shelves and spotted Tsubasa 6 and called Joan over. Joan proceeded to the shelf and upon seeing the filled shelf of Tsubasa 6, exclaimed, “Whoa so many 6 arh?!” Then as Joan left the shelves, she spotted a trolley of comics, all new arrivals. She went over and took a closer look and saw a pile of Tsubasa 6, exclaimed, “Whoa! Even more 6 leh!” Then moving her eyes to another ple on the trolley, she spotted yet another pile of Tsubasa 6, exclaimed, “Whoa! Really a lot of 6 leh!” Walking away from the trolley Joan noticed that the whole of the next shelf of the trolley was filled with Tsubasa 6, exclaimed, “Whoa! So many 6s!”

Stupidity Symptoms 3
I dont know if anyone noticed this but outside the library in Takashimaya there is a frame circling the escalators. And on that frame, there is a door. The door isnt locked and anyone can open the door. This day, Friend pointed out the door to Joan. Utterly amazed, Joan stretched out her right hand and placed it on the knob. Turning it, she opened the door as if she were Alice opening that little door to a whole new world, only Joan opened it to what she could see from the sides cos the door was standing in the middle of nowhere. Walking through the door, Joan bore a totally amazed look and allowed the door to slam behind her.

That will be it for the brand new Stupidity Symptoms. All acts will be fresh. If they are not freshly done, then it wont be included, so you guys need not find the over-told glass door stories here!

Sunday, July 18, 2004

I want to watch a movie.

I want to watch a movie.
The last movie I watched was Around the world in 80 Days, a purely feel-good movie which I didnt think was very well worth that $6.50 I paid for, but I was feeling pretty bad when I watched it so it sort of helped me regain my emotional balance.

I wanted to watch King Arthur.
Ever since I saw that trailer like 3 months ago, I was waiting for that show to be released. The trailer was pretty decent, I must admit, so even though the cast was pathetic, okay not really pathetic but there isnt well, a cute guy, I was looking forward to the show. However, it seemed like King Arthur garnered rather bad reviews. If the show isnt going to be good, I dont think it will be worth it to watch it. I was supposed to watch it with the girls on Fri but it turned out that no one other than Yingling was interested so the girls decided not to watch the movie after all. Well, now I sian jit buah liao... Might not watch the movie. Well, Yingling, if you want watch it, give me a call, if you also sian jit buah then suan lor.

Presently, there are two well reviewed movies, Taegukgi or Brotherhood which ST Life! gave it 4 stars and Vozvrashcheniye or The Return which ST Life! gave it 5 stars.
Hmm... One Korean and one Russian. Does this measure the pathetic quality of Hollywood films?

I swore not to watch it after watching the trailer for the like 1001st time. The trailers were everywhere, on tv, on tv mobile, and worse still in K-ster when after every hour or show there would be a pause for the trailer to be shown twice!
But I like war movies. And I like Jang Dong Gun. So, well, if anybody wants to go and watch can call me along, but only on a $6.50 day. Im not very inclined to let the advertisers have the misconception that over-exposure can lead to increased box office takings.

The Return
I caught the trailer when watching Japanese Story. I like the pace, the emotional intensity and the cut of the trailer which I guess speaks volumes for the actual show. This show will be exclusively showcased in Cathay Cineleisure. Cathay Cineleisure really brings in lots of pretty decent movies like, ya, Japanese Story, Zatoichi some time back and earlier this year there was Last Life in the Universe and so many more alternative films. I just hope that The Return wont be screened at that pathetic cinema hall where I went to watch Japanese Story. Cinema 6, I think, a small cinema at the back of some hidden stairwell and with like only 8 rows seating about 100 or so people. Anyone wants to watch this show can also ring me up!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

busy busy week

Ive reached the height of procrastination. And much higher in contradictions.

Ive got a couple of outings with friends lined up this week and a whole lot of other stuff Ive got to do too. In chronological order,
wed morning go down NUS to register for some German Language course
wed aftn visit the library
wed aftn help Huijing play a prank on her friend
wed night chiong session with psycho ppl
fri aftn movie and shopping session with the girls clique
fri night dinner and chiong session with velut ppl
sat pool party with psycho ppl

According to schedule, there doesnt seem to be any clashes, but I dont think my pysical self can take that. In fact, other than the outing with the girls, I have yet cfm my attendance in any of the outings though I have to go down NUS on wed or thu by hook or by crook to register. Reason for my procrastination? The battle between the heart and mind. Heart says go, mind says dont go. Its getting like real bad that now my mind is even telling me not to go out with the girls this fri.

I need sleep.

I havent been sleeping much since I came back from union camp. I cant sleep at night, I dont know why; I tried sleeping in the day but the lure of tv is just too great; when I attempt to watch tv, I start to feel drowsy. My bio clock has gone all wrong.

Scanning down the list again, if I only visited NUS tmr morning and go mia for the rest of the activities, would I be able to fully adjust my bio clock and end my dumb procrastinations? Well, I did promised Huijing that Id help her even though I dont support what ahe and her friends are doing. It will be nice to meet up with the psycho people either on wed or on sat though both would just probably reduce me to a panda. Its been ages since Ive last seen the girls, but movies on a fri? That I dont think is very worth it even though Shuhui let me chose my fav cinema. Velut ppl... I thought we had just met up like ytd, but still chilling out on a fri night would prob ease my nerves.

By now most of my friends shd know that Im claustrophobic, I dont like to be in places where there are a lot of ppl. Even though aft going to arts camp and union camp have eased my nerves a little in crowds, I still feel a tinge of unhappiness in crowds and esp strong pangs of rising tempers aft leaving the crowed place. Is that a legitimate psychological disorder? I dont know...

Right now I just want to curl up behind a good book and enjoy, but procrastination kept me away from the lib, I prob not go to the lib too tmr but I need to return books. Seems like I will need to have to pay fines again. Am I such a loser?

Monday, July 12, 2004

Union Camp

For the past 5 days, I checked myself into torture camp. I got a place into union camp as a replacement. The news came very suddenly, only the day before, and I seriously was considering not joining it, but, well but, I didnt know why I went for it in the end.

Met many familiar faces there. Chong Han, Xuzi, Pam were also there though none in the same group as me and hence we didnt get to talk, except for Chong Han who ended up as one of the 10 guys whom I speed-dated. Yes, dont laugh! More on that dumb thing later cos that was really dumb. There were also many other arts campers back there including my sp replacement from arts camp who was a councillor in union camp. But the most familiar face in union camp was that of my cousin. Yes, my cousin. As how he put it, I was his mother’s brother’s daughter, so he is my father’s sister’s son. And he happened to be a councillor in my group.

Union camp was quite similar to arts camp, and I am not going to compare them as they both have their pluses and minuses. Though my sp replacement, from a councillor point of view, thought that this year’s union camp, unlike last year’s, was better than arts camp. All I can say is, well... I preferred arts Sentosa activities, or was it that it was with Velut that I preferred it. But union camp had this pool games which took place in the swimming pool where we went to different stations to play water games. I thought that that was my favourite game in union camp.

But then again, union camp had quite a number of sponsor activities and the dumbest of all was SDU-sponsored speed-dating where 10 girls sat in a row and 10 guys rotated to speak to each of the girls for 2 min. Yes, 2 min!!! Like, what can we know abt a person in 2 min?! One thing Id learnt from this is that never to join SDU and even if I join, never will I join its speed-dating activities.

The funny thing was that I seemed to become hyper on the last day of camp and when I left for home I wasnt inclined to sleep immediately, only slept at 1 last night but spent most of today sleeping. Haha...

Procrastinated so much today. It was as if I was paying back my procrastinating debts today just like I was paying back my sleeping debts. Haiz... Was supposed to do so many things to day, but... After 5 days of not doing any procrastination, I felt compiled, or rather, I felt the privilege of finally being able, to procrastinate. Sad...

Friday, July 02, 2004

Going Up the Roller Coaster

Im on an emotional roller coaster ride.

After dropped down into the Marianas Trench and was starting to dig, I suddenly find myself thrust up onto the Himalayas.

Possible reasons for the change?
* end of pms?
* acquisitions? One OP pouch, one OP Kids tee, one Happy House tee, one Giordano Dry-Tech bra top
* learning a new skill? Rollerblading
* 2 karaoke sessions in 4 days? Esp the second one, 6 ½ hr of singing, like, wow.
* good meals?
* watched a feel-good movie for a change? Around the World in 80 Days, mindless, senseless, funny, and a cute Luke Wilson and a cuter Owen Wilson. Really, Jackie Chan, who is he?
* mindless soccer? After dear dear Germany crashing out, and me getting over that tragedy, Ive seemed to feel less stressed and nervous over the Euros
* Dicky Cheung? He is my Panadol when I feel terrible, so with me back on track, being able to watch endless repeats of his shows and my on my vcd collection, I naturally feel better.
A packed schedule to keep my thoughts from running wild?