Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Himalayas to the Marianas

Remember my imagery, from Himalayas to the Marianas?
Hehe... That was what I felt in the last 24hr...

I started out at Himalayas with a very blissful dream, a dream in which I felt peace, comfort and serenity. But the day evolved into one which brought me right smack in the centre of cold, harsh reality. Then it pushed me right down into the Marianas. Only that this time I knew it wasnt pms.

Its amazing how little control one have over self. One may think that he seems to be controlling his own fate but is he really controlling it? Or is fate controlling him?

From an ancient Chinese tale:
There was once a flag in the middle of a large field. A gust of wind blew across the field and the flag swayed with the breeze. A sage asked his disciples which was causing the other to move. The first disciple answered that it was the wind causing the flag to move. Upon hearing that, the second disciple blurted out that it was not true as it was actually the flag causing the wind to move. The sage answered that in fact neither moved, rather, it was their minds that moved the wind and the flag.

Well, to me, I think that all the answers can be true. What really moved is what you want it to be moved. If you want the flag to move the wind, then so be it; if you want the wind to move the flag, then so be it; if you want neither to move, then so be it; if you want both to move, then so be it. No one can stop you from thinking so.

The moral of the story? Fate and self runs parallel to each other, pessimists will let themselves be controlled by fate and the optimists will try and control fate. I’m a pessimist trying to act like an optimist. I know I can control fate, but I dont want to, I don’t know why, I just don’t want to.

I wanted to feel happy before I slept last night, so I had that nice dream and woke up feeling happy, after some occurred events, I let myself sink deeply into decadence, hence my sad feelings now. I know I can always stop these bad thoughts by keeping my mind clear, but I dont want to do so, I want to let my mind explore the range of my feelings.


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