Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Angels of Mission

Angels of Mission

weekdays 10pm
Channel U

I saw this series online some time ago but wasn't that interested in it. I thought it was some low budget, chick flick kind of show, but after I saw the trailer Mediacorp did up to promote this show, I thought it looked great. At the very least, with the big explosions and gun fights, it didn't look like a low budget series. But because of school and stuff, I didn't get to watch it. Until one day, I saw snippets of it which the mother recorded to watch, she was following this show. After watching those bits, I thought it looked great. Hence I went back to the earier website where I first saw it and started watching the whole series.

It was great man, I finished it in almost one sitting. I only hadn't managed to finish it in one sitting because my window crashed and I thought it was some sign from above forcing me to go to bed, leaving me with two episodes more to go, but I woke up early the next day to finish off with those two episodes before I went to school.

Angels of Mission, starring Sonija Kwok as the head of the Counter-Terrorism Unit, Sam, who recuits in Fa, a mahjong-addict inspector who's also a car racer, acted by Charmaine Sheh, and a little policewoman Bowie who has boyfriends all over Hong Kong, but is also a highly skilled marksman, acted by Shirley Yeung. A cast of Miss Hong Kongs, so I guess that's what makes a show look good. Their figures were like, oh man... It makes me wish I was back when I was 19/20 years old when I was about their weight.

There are four cases in the series, each a different terrorism act, on bombs, missile trade, anthrax, political assasination. There's also a line of story chronicling the love lives of the three leading ladies. I really liked the cases featured in this series, but I thought that the love story was very weak and there could have been much more to develop.

***possible spoilers***
Everything to be written here might not have been screened on Channel U yet, so skip this whole part if you do not want to be spoiled.

The main reason I thought the love line was poorly developed was possibly due to the weak male characters featured in this drama series. Sam has a string of boyfriends whom she finds them difficult to communicate with, she got tangled up in a three-way relationship with an almost married man who's basically a possessive yet fickle asshole, then she got herself tangled up in yet another three-way relationship with the Dan, the supposed main male lead.

Dan had went after Fa earlier on in the show because he wanted to cheat her of her money. After being terrorised by her, they spilt up, but Fa has already really fallen in love with him while throughout the show, even after he was with Sam, there was still traces of him still caring a lot for Fa. Dan is the kind of person I'd say is afflicted with the Zhang Wuji syndrome, and I really dislike him. He's not successful, not ethical, not loyal, not anything, but yet two very beautiful and amazing women can fall in love with him. Worse still, he doesn't know who he likes.

Actually, I'd think it would have been a better ending had he ended up with Fa because their relationship was more wholesome than his with Sam.

But then, there's also another romance of Fa with this professional bodyguard Wallace. Wallace is possibly my favourite character in the show. He's damn shuai. He's damn cool. And he has this enigmatic aura around him. At first he appeared to be some aloof, incooperative bodyguard, but he turned out to be quite innocent, and shy. And he really likes Fa. A pity she didn't reciprocate his feelings.

It turned out that Wallace is Dan's separated elder brother. Dan had thought that Wallace had skipped town with their hard earn savings to live a life on his own, but it turned out that Wallace is an FBI undercover. I sort of like the arc of the brother relationship.

For Bowie, she has a string of boyfriends but she loved none and is always seen trying to ditch them. But there was this one persistent one who she in the end falls in love with but because of their inherently different lives and opinions, they broke up. I thought that was quite crap, what show has a couple breaking up at the very last episode?
***spoilers end here***

In all I thought all the actresses were good. The actors were also great although their characters were weak, but that's the fault of the scriptwriters, not theirs. I was pleasantly surprised by Patrick Tam who acted as Dan. Patrick Tam looked tanned in this show, and I thought he looked more manly than as he were in Seed of Hope some time back. Also, seeing him act as a loser, reminded me of Gallen Lo. Thought he looked a bit like Gallen Lo in the show.

Another actor that's absolutely amazing was Shek Sau. Lin Hok Man was the main baddie in the show, and he was every inch the baddie. But it's a pity that his story was not fully developed even though there were two parts to his story. I thought that the scriptwriters didn't give his character much depth, but it's still amzing how Shek Sau could manage to develop his character himself, sometimes giving him this romantic face, and sometimes portraying Lin Hok Man as a psychotic dictator.

Then of course, there's the gem of the show, Stephen Au. Actually when Wallace first appeared in the show and seemed not to be on good terms with Fa, I guessed that they'd later fall into a relationship. Then when Wallace went to visit Luk Cheh and she mentioned about Wah-zai (Wallace) and a Keong-zai, I guessed that Keong-zai should be his brother, and that would be Dan. Then when Dan mentioned that his brother left home over night, without leaving a reason nor explaining anything, I guessed that Wallace was an undercover. My mother would call my this guessings as being honed in the art of watching TVB dramas.

***spoilers*** All my guesses were correct. ***spoilers end here***

In all, I'd give it a 3.5/5 stars. It's entertaining, but the script's not well developed. Pretty stars and engimatic men are the only saving points.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Post CNY

Pardon me for my previous post, I wasn't feeling that all too good, I'd wanted to delete away that post but seeing all the words of greetings from you guys, I bu she de delete away that post. hehe~ So touched leh, within that few hours of posting, you guys commented on it so quickly.

So, to liven up spirits, shall post up a slew of pictures to entertain you guys.

A couple of weeks ago, I went on CNY clothes hunting and bought quite a bit of clothes for the new year. Not only had I bought clothes, but I also tried out a lot of clothes I can't afford. It's through the hunting of clothes that I realised that I'm fat. Gone are the days when I could fit into a size S and wear nice nice clothes looking nice and pretty, and thin. I now can't wear any tight fitting clothes which would just make me look fat, neither can I wear any midriff baring clothes let everyone can see my big tummy. In short, the fatter I am, the less choice of clothes I have.

My new year resolution:
- to aim to get back my figure.
To get back to my year 1 figure. Only only can I get to buy more nice clothes then, I can wear back all my nice clothes which I no longer fit. Really lor, I've about two very nice and short mini skirts which I've never worn and can no longer fit.

Damn those Germany trips, made me fat fat fat. Okay, I shall stop ranting on how much weight I'd gain, instead, shall go on with my Chinese New Year garbs~

Those marked O are those I bought and those marked X are those I didn't buy. Sorry for the cluttered look of the dressing rooms, I bought too many things, had too many bags and stuff. Oh, and those were on two separate shopping trips, so there were two different sets of my original clothes you can see hanging on the walls.

This was my garb for Chu Yi, yup~ You can see both the top and bottom featured in my shopping trail gif above. I matched it with a red hair clip. I very seldom tie my hair up, but it was hot that day and I didn't want my hair to get messed up when travelling from place to place. I think tying up of my hair makes me look younger, but the only problem is that I need to paint my face and cover up the spots if I want to tie up my hair. Usually I just use my hair to cover up the spots. lol~

This my garb for Chu Er. I wore the red nightdress looking thingie coupled with golden stockings and a gold belt. I know I know, I look like an ang bow. I'll never wear that combination anymore. I bought that pair of stockings thinking that it was a pair of tights, and actually the dress wasn't that short so I could have just went without the stockings. But then hor, when I bought that dress, its tag said that it was actually a blouse, actually, it said "blouse" on top of a cancelled out "dress". Whatever. The mother said that I looked pregnant when I wear it without the belt. bah~

But hor, that night I was too lazy to change so I wore that dress sans stockings and belt, like how I look in the above gif, to sleep. It was so very comfortable. I think I shall either wear that with a belt as a dress or as a nightdown next time. The best thing about it is that I can wear it without a bra and I still won't look bad. *wink wink*

It's a pity I didn't buy new shoes and bags this new year. The bag I carried was a birthday present from last year but have never used it before. It's an Armani Exchange bag, so bu she de carry, scared will dirty. I wore old shoes this year, and my sister's shoe. I tell you, my sister bought LOTS of clothes shoes and stuff this year. *shakes head*

But I did buy a new pencil case. My old one was getting dirty, so I got a new one, from Levi's. Saw it when my sister bought her pair of jeans~ It's nice and small, I don't have many things anyway, and looks quite cool. It wasn't that expensive also, even though it is considered expensive for a pencil case. I actually have a couple of pencil cases given to me during Christmas, but I do no like huge pencil cases which are bigger than my handbags, so well, let's just say that the new owner is very happy with it, and I am very happy about it.

It's like me giving away my long wallet, the one the girls gave me for my last year birthday, to my sister, with me choosing to carry a small little purse my cousin gave me instead, even though the wallet which I requested in my wish list was for a long one. I think I'm more into small things than big ones. It's like my foolscap pad, I'm using a B5 sized one instead of an A4. lol~ chibi!!! If only I were smaller... hehe...

But I'm not without a new bag this year. My sister just bought me a cute little adidas original royal handbag for me for my birthday this year. I saw it a couple of weeks ago, along with the royal belt. I even tried the belt on, asked for the price, but the belt was too small for me, and the price was too high for me. So when we were in adidas again yesterday, I picked the bag.

I love my sister~

Sunday, February 25, 2007

So This Is How It Feels...

Being alone, at home, the whole day, with only the TV, notes, and laptop for company.
Even the parents didn't wish me happy birthday, neither did the sister, though she did gave me the present already, but still...
Friends? What friends? Okay, but I can't blame them since I'm not the kind of person who remembers everyone's birthdays.

Okay, none of all those above really matters as much as what I'm upset about.

I miss him. I really do. It always seems like the same one month cycle when my missing him coincides with PMS. And while last month he was away, this month too. Even though he said he'd be back tomorrow, earlier than what he told me before he left, it just seems to have created more problems for me to ponder over. Why is he coming back so early? Did something happen? Or did he lie to me in the first place?

Then there's the problem about tomorrow. I don't know if I should hope so much, and be disappointed. This won't be the first anyway, but I can't help from wanting to hope, and I can't seem to block out my disappointment. I hate myself.

Growing older, growing tired, growing jaded, growing disillusioned.
When can I finally leave your clutches?
When can I finally stand up on my own feet and say goodbye to the past?

When can I call you by your name?

Saturday, February 24, 2007


Should I take the Test-DaF? Deutsch als Fremdsprache.

Being a student of the the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences, I tend to be seen as someone among a large group of people, not so academically inclined as people from other prestigious faculties like Medicine or Law. To make my field of study seem more interesting than it is, I prefer to tell people that I'm studying European Studies, instead of saying I'm an arts student. Being a European Studies student really sounds me chi chi than it really is.

The total number of European Studies majors are about as many as our fingers in the whole university. This very small number gives my department a slightly more exclusive feel to the whole idea of being a European Studies major.

That day I was talking to my grandfather's specialist when he asked me what I was studying.
doctor: So what are you studying?
joan: European Studies.
doctor: wah... So cheem ah?
joan: no la... hehehe~

Imagine if I say some other kind of studies, I think the reaction won't be the same lor. Think, Southeast Asian studies. Probably think it's like politics ot geography or something boring. Think, Chinese Studies. One would first think of their primary school Chinese teacher man. Think, Japanese Studies. I don't know about you, but the first things I'd think of is Manga, Anime, Porn.

I think the only other kind of Studies that might induce a "wah..." reaction could be American Studies. In conclusion, I think, people all have some form of white superiority, neo-colonism mentality.

In actual fact, there isn't anything wow wow about European Studies. It's just mainly history and political science. The only maybe a bit wow wow thing is that I learn a third language. Learning another language is always some interesting and difficult and very envy-inducing. Maybe that's where the wow wow factor comes in~

Anyway, to improve my German, to do well for the Test-DaF if I decide to take it, and to improve my German grade and in turn pull up my CAP, I went down to Kinokuniya and bought two German books.

I bought a picture-word book and a krimiroman, a Donna Leon one. Hopefully my command of the language can improve. I think the most interesting part about reading the Donna Leon book is to spot the difference in the usage of "you", see when are "Sie"s and "du"s used.

I have a little dream which I shared with the daddie once. I'd really really like to have a chance to be able to work in Germany for a couple of years. Work in Herzogenaurach, work under adidas, that would be a totally fun experience, especially if I can work in the publicity or public relations or events departments, then I can travel about and meet big big football stars. That would be the ultimate cool job. Maybe I'll get to met Frank Lampard even, although he's in London.

Well, how things will work out will be dependent on what I consider as my options after I actually graduate, maybe I should work real hard and have something else in my pocket to review my options.

Friday, February 23, 2007

I Am (Apparently) @ Youth.SG

I blogged about the email Alvin of Youth.SG sent me a couple of days back, and out of zest and nostalgia, I decided to send him that blog link and apparently, he took it that I'm indeed a youth (my oh my, what great flattery), and hence, I'm nominated as one of the blogs competing in this round of that blogging contest thingie.

It's been some time since I last entered in such a kind of competition, the last being last year, also around this period, the Arts Club Blogging Festival thingie which I'm too lazy to go and find the link. The only difference this time is that the period for voting is a lot shorter, and your NRIC is needed to register for voting. You can vote for me if you want, but I'm not going about begging for votes for constantly reminding you guys to vote or whatever, because I know I wouldn't be voting. Anything that requires such personal information from me, I wouldn't do. hehe...

The list of nominated blogs this round. You can find out how to vote from there, I guess.

But check this out,
"B8 of Round4
Name: Joan Ang
About her blog:
At 20 years old, Joan feels she is too old to be considered a youth. The team at Youth.SG thinks otherwise and have placed her in the top 11 here. If you do think Joan shouldn't be so harsh on herself on her age, do show her support and vote for her. Oh.. and we can't help but notice from her blog that she must be a big fan of Hokkien rocker, Wu Bai."

It says I'm 20 years old!!! (Considering that I gave Alvin my NRIC number, which should have given away my actual age... hehehe...) It's like Goebbel's Big Lie Theory, after saying a lie loudly and to many many people, people will come to believe that it's a fact. I am 20 years old~ Actually hor, it's very easy to see through the lie, especially once I start talking about school, I'm a senior, and that's a big giveaway on my age. Over my so many years of blogging, one can trace me doing my A Levels, me entering Uni, me going for immersion, me going for exchange, me coming back to Singapore. Somewhere in between there, I might have blogged about my real 20th birthday too, and also my 21st birthday, I know for sure I blogged about that because I held quite a big birthday party then. ahh... Those were the days, my friend...

Really, another dead giveaway that 20 isn't my real age is that I'm a big fan of Wubai. I don't think any real 20 year olds nowadays even know who Wubai is lor.

But still, being officially recognised as a 20 year old is one good flattery for the day, I wonder how long this sham could last though. hehe... Yup, and remember, if you got nothing better to do and wish to see me carry on my 20 year old dream, can try voting for me. Thank you very much. If not then wait for me to have time to post up the photos I've gif-ed and prepared for future blog entries. I'm currently pretty busy shuttling between the hospital and some other stuff.

So long~

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

"I am [not] @ Youth.SG"

As I would be celebrating my 20th birthday this Sunday for the nth time, with n being an integer of value open for your own imagination, I was quite surprised to receive an email from Alvin the webmaster from the above said entity, Apparently, they are having some sort of a festival called I am @ Youth.SG and they asked to write something about it, and/or to help them publicise it. Perhaps I might still have a couple of younger readers like my sister and maybe my cousin, but I seriously doubt so.


I'm not longer a youth, and I know I need not be kidding myself about it, nor go about celebrating 20 year old birthday parties every year, nor write about youth stuff on my blog. I think the only youth-ful thing I do is to go to school. But the sign that I'm no longer a youth is that I no longer pon classes regularly, instead I go for classes regularly.

Like that this year for example, I'm not celebrating my birthday. I don't even spread the word that it's my birthday, although this blog post is betraying me left right centre. At the very list, I don't have a countdown on my blog telling me when is my next birthday, nor do I countdown on my MSN. So far I've only reminded *one person* of my birthday, but that's not the point, that's only because I want a present from that person.

I remember when I WAS still young, I'd look forward to my birthday because I'd have a party, sometimes a big one, sometimes a small one, but still a party. People would shower me with gifts, and I'd be happy. Oh man, I think the first sign of me aging is when last year I drew up a wish list and made sure everybody bought me something I wanted so I wouldn't have to put up with stuff I not need. I guess this kind of pragmacy is the first sign to maturity. I don't need surprises. It'd give me a heart attack, old people cannot be exposed to shock.

Another example of me feeling age creep up on me is my lack of enthusiasm in collecting ang bows. I feel tired greeting people, feel a sense of distaste in some of them and their unsightly behavior, almost ashamed of them. Some times I see children who misbehave, the first thing I think is that why didn't their parents teach them well, then I start to think of what I'd do if the kid is mine. I start to think a lot with regards to child development and disciplinary. I guess those maternal instincts in me is catching up, my bio-clock is ticking.

Then sometimes when I see cute looking students or NSF walking around and they catch my eyes and I start to oogle at them, then I start to remember that my god, they are a lot younger than me! There was this time, I was at Scott's food court queueing behind a group of JC boys, they were very cute, and I started staring at them, thinking about how cute they are and how cute they look in their uniforms when it suddenly hit me that I'm no longer a Secondary school girl looking up to these seniors, but I'm an aging old women, no wait, I'm a PAEDOPHILE looking at young boys!

That thought pierced through my heart like a needle. I am old. I'm a paedophile. I'm looking at young boys. wahahaha~

Then there was another occasion. I was on bus 14 which goes by Bedok Camp, then these couple of NSFs came up, looking so shuai in their uniforms. They were sitting across me in the bus and I was oogling at them and listening in to their conversation when suddenly they started talking about their O Level results. That same thought that I was a paedophile hit me hard in the face. They are so damn young!!! It's like years years years ago when I last thought about my O Level results, not A Level leh, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Then just two weeks ago in the hospital with my grandfather when my cousin was there. The cousin's not my direct cousin, but the daughter of my father's cousin. She's like 3 years old and up till my thigh. I was sitting across her when suddenly she pointed her finger at me and said "you so big". I was like "Are you saying I'm old or are you saying that I'm fat?"

God, I think I'm old and fat. What gives...
I'm an old and fat paedophile who hates screamy little kids without manners.

I've already changed my blusher colour to one that looks older. And have changed my wardrobe to clothes that are expandable. Sooner, I'd need to changed my nail colours, then probably my hairstyle, then I'll need to change my vocabulary. Wait, I think my vocabulary have already changed, so that aside. I'll need to start watching my diet, this just sucks...

I don't understand why some old people can still claim to be young at heart when I can feel nothing like that. My body is lethargic and my mind's jaded. Even though I'm 20, I feel closer to 30.

I'm sorry to the peeps there at Youth.SG, no matter how free am I to interprete this topic on "I am @ Youth.SG", I'm unable to proceed on because on one technical error, and perhaps another grammatical error. Maybe there should be a "I was @ Youth.SG" festival for old folks like us to reminisce the past and harp on nostalgia.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Go Away

Dear The-fucker-who-keeps-prank-calling-me-with-a-private-number,

Is it that you have nothing better to do on a sad Chinese New Year Day that you have to resort to call me this morning just before 7am when I'm still sound asleep, and continue to call on me three to four times every hour just to irritate the fell out of me?

Crap, even as I'm typing this open letter to you, I can hear my handphone ringing away in the background and I know it's you, that's like the fifth time in the past 10min, you broke your record, how amazing.

I genuinely thought that it was an urgent phone call when you called this morning before 7am and I even picked up the phone only not to hear anything. Worried about what I might or might not have heard, I even picked up the phone when you called again a minute later, but other than "hello" and "I'm that/a guy" you didn't said anything else. By the third time you called I was truly worried about you because I thought you were someone I know, but the third time you called, and said more "hello"s, I knew I didn't recognise you voice, and if I don't recognise your voice, you probably isn't someone I should be worrying about.

It was also then that I realised that you are a prank caller. A prank caller with nothing better to do than to irritate the hell out of me. I thought by switching off the phone you wouldn't call again, but you did continue to call after I switched my phone back on. Even though I did receive a Caller Alert from Singtel it's no use because the number Singtel said tried to call me is 659xxxxxxx which last 8 digits coincide with MY handphone number. I don't know how you did that, but I'm pretty sure there's no way one can use my handphone to call myself.

You think you might be smart enough to have your number listed as private, thinking that I can't trace you down, but I know (from too much television drama and criminal novels, and forensic science lectures) I can trace you down if I report to the police, but of course, going down to the police station would be a hassle for me and I also don't know what the police might want to do with my handphone, but I assure you that if this is to carry on, I will report you to the police. I will. Mark my words.

It really sucks to miss all the private number calls because I know of friends whose phone numbers are listed as private, so I don't want to be missing their calls. But I really have no wish to entertain you, so I guess I'll just miss those calls. If friends of mine are urgently looking for me, they won't fear leaving a tracable SMS for me to detect them.

I certainly hope you, this asshole, is not a friend of mine and have just randomly picked a number to irritate the hell out of the unfortunate one, but if you were to be someone I know, I'm hell going to make you pay for this man. Waking night owl Joan early in the morning is enough for me to want to draw blood from you.

What's worse is that I can't always switch off my phone because I use my phone as an alarm, and I can't turn my phone to silent mode either. If I turn it to silent mode, the alarm won't ring. Sucks... I might need to get a new alarm clock now. damnit.

I'll set the deadline to be Tuesday, if by Tuesday morning I still get you calls, I'll hop down to the Marine Parade Neighbourhood Police Centre to make a report and get Singtel to release my call logs, and trace the calls that were made by you and WE WILL TRACE YOU DOWN.

I'll give you a benefit of doubt that you are a sad and lonely person who has nothing to do during the festive holidays and it's only these days that you need to make sure that other people can't be happier than you. So let's make it a deal, when the holidays ends, and your loneliness ends, you shall stop irritating me, okie? You had also better not irritate anyone else.

If by chance that you happen to see this open letter, I hope you will repent, and if you do I shall forgive and forget and forget that you have been so irritating.

I'll be having an early night tonight, so I hope that you can don't call me tonight and tomorrow morning before 9am. You can, however, call me at 9am to remind me to wake up to catch the simulcast of The Amazing Race: All Stars. I haven't decided who I want to win, but I sure know that I do not want Uchenna and Joyce to win. You can wake me up to watch that show, but please do not call me during the show and make me feel uneasy throughout the show.

Thank you very much for your kind attention, you nothing-better-to-do-fucker. You know, if you really got nothing better to do, how about trying to wank a couple of times? Maybe for every call you make you wank once, that way the world can be a much happier place for me to live in, just don't tell me what you did in your reclusive life.

Good night, and have a happy chinese new year by yourself.

With much despise and distaste,
Joan Ang

PS: Sorry for the constant use of fuck, I'm trying not to be so crude lately, but I can't help it, this guy is really a fucker.

Sunday, February 18, 2007


I haven't worn a earring for at least half a year already, sometime between I did stick in a ear stick to keep my earhole open though, kept it on for a couple of days. I had to keep it on because I had trouble getting it in initially, think my earhole was on the verge of closing up then. I forced the stick in which led to slight bleeding and quite a bit of crud even though I wash my ears every day. I guess it's different washing the ears and washing the insides of the earhole. Anyway, sparing the gross details I shall carry on with my entry.

My sister came back from her shopping trip the other day claiming that she bought a lot of earrings. I thought that she had only bought perhaps like 3-4 pairs, but it turned out to be like A LOT more. Seeing that she has too many earrings and that I haven't bought a new earring for about a year, okay, maybe a couple of months, yea, since the last day in Germany, I bought a pair of crystal ones from the duty free shop in Frankfurt Airport, but before that I haven't bought a pair for a couple of months. Didn't buy any thoughout my stay in Germany.

Seeing that I have no new earrings, and that my sister had so many, I cajoled her into giving me a pair, which she readily agreed. I think it's because she also only have two ears, cannot wear that many earrings. Okay, although she has two ears, she does have five ear holes, so she can wear a lot of them, but that's not the point.

Anyway, check out the cheap earrings that my sister bought.

She allowed me to pick one pair out of all those and she'd give me ANY pair I picked, ANY, she won't change her mind. hehehe~ I knew she liked penguins, and she liked that penguin earrings, so I hadn't considered that, I don't have a special fondness of penguins anyway.

Then before I told her the choice I made, my sister said that she wanted to guess which pair I chose. So I let her made her guess. I thought that after being my sister for all her 16/7 years of life, she should know my taste quite well, seems like I was disappointed. lol~ She picked my choice on her last try, like after picking all the other earrings and only when left with that did she realise. diaoz...

Okay, a short guide to what kind of earrings I like even though I normally don't wear them.
- I like hook earrings.
- I like pearl earrings.
- I usually like flowery stuff.
- I like earrings that are of colours I like.

I didn't like most of the earrings my sister had, they were either studded, or hooped, only a couple of hooks, so I picked from the hooks. I chose the Scorpio one because it was pink and I like Scorpio guys in general. I would have picked the butterfly one if it was not hooped nor that the paint on the hoop part was peeling off. It didn't look that sanitary. lol~

I was only after revealling my pick to my sister, that I suddenly remembered that she was a Scorpio. lol~ I wanted to change my choice so that she could have her Scorpio, but she said it didn't matter. She only bought that pair because there were two in the range, the scorpion and some other animal which she didn't like. Because of her generosity, I didn't decline.

After I happily picked my earring and kept it with my other earrings (I didn't even bother to try it on), my sister suddenly said, actually there was another earring, and another earring which was part of the selection, which was not bought by her but by our aunt. And I was supposed to have one of them and my sister the other. She said that if I saw the other earring I'd definitely want it. hehe...

I was like, no wonder she's so good to give me one of her many earrings, she wanted to keep the earring my aunt gave us. wahaha~

My sister revealled a pearl hooked earring, with flowers painted on the pearl. Of course I wanted it la.

I was like,
joan: eh, you like pearl meh?
sister: the earring nice what.
joan: you will want the earring meh?

And then, and then, and then, I managed to cajole my sister into giving me that pair of earrings, and I didn't even need to give her back the earrings I picked out. two free earrings~

My sister then made me promise that I'd wear the earrings I'd cajoled from her, but well, it's been quite a couple of weeks and I haven't worn a earring since, nor a earstick. heh... But I think I'll be wearing one tomorrow if I manage to remember, not so sure which one I'd wear though, it's be either the above mentioned painted pearl earrings, a pair of frangipani earrings my friends bought for me for my birthday last year (see here), and yet another earring which was cajoled from my sister. It was a earring one of her friends made for her.

Saturday, February 17, 2007


Black is the new black. Last month some time ago, I met up with Huijing over lunch, we wanted to go for this dum sum buffet somewhere in Harbourfront Centre, but we didn't know that that restaurant had a split shift and by the time we got there, they were closed for the afternoon break. Not knowing where else to go for dim sum, not having any other preferences in mind, we walked aimlessly around VivoCity in seach for food.

Then we came upon this restaurant called 黑社会.

Before that restaurant opened, they had this very cool black boards over it and with only the words hei she hui printed there. Without any explanation for what hei she hui is, I always thought that shop was some upmarket gift shop trying to act cool. I didn't expect it to be a restaurant. By the way, this picture wasn't taken with Huijing, but taken on another occasion before the opening of this restaurant.

The restaurant features a cross between Shanghainese cuisine and a bit of usual Hong
Kong favourites, so I guess it's predominantly a Shanghainese restaurant, which is also weird for it's name, because I thought hei she huis come from Hong Kong, and the Shanghainese gangs have another name of their own, something like Shang Hai Tan or another cool name.

The restaurant is very spacious and has a couple of window seats facing directly at the sea, the ambience is not bad, and the prices are about the same as most other Chinese dim sum restaurants. Because there weren't many people there while we were there, the service was not bad.


What I like about the restaurant is the utensils used. The plates are so pretty~ And the teapot and teacups too. What I found was weird was the chopsticks. The bottom of the chopsticks (not the part you use to giap the food, but the opposite) is made of metal and is very heavy, so one must hold the chopsticks as high as possible, if not will offbalance. Either that or you must have good chopstick skills.

We ordered a pot of the recommended tea, and my god, was it good. It was some kind of ginseng oolong tea, but with every mouth, there is a sweet aftertaste which makes the tea very fresh and alluring. For a pot of tea with unlimited hot water refills, it's well worth the price. The teapot and teacups are also very small and cute and interesting. The tea leaves are in the centre of the teapot to absorb the water, but not to flow out of the sprout along with the tea, some kind of very interesting mechanism. The teacups were so tiny and cute, each cup contains enough tea for one mouth. hehehe...

Huijing ordered the custard buns which was supposedly their signature dish. The buns were very soft, like really soft. I don't eat custard so I have no idea how custard tastes like, but the custard buns filling tasted like salted egg yolk to me. It wasn't that bad, I only took a mouth out of Huijing's buns. But there's a little downside to the buns, the base of the buns sticks too much to the paper, so when tearing off the paper, the bun will tear easily and the custard will flow out causing quite a mess, and also wasting the bun skins stuck on the paper. Huijing also had some paigu lamian which isn't pictured. She thought it was not bad.

I had the hargau, changfen and xiaolongbao. The hargau was normal. I mean the difference between a good hargau and a bad hargau is only the har inside the gau so if the har is good the hargau will be good, there isn't anything special about it.

The changfen was very interesting. Instead of using normal white rice to make the rice roll, my changfen was made using red rice, so the rice roll was actually pink in colour. I had crab stuffings for the filling and well, it tasted not bad, as in the whole combination of the rice roll with crab stuffings. My gripe was that the waitress did not pour the whole pot of light soya sauce into the changfen until I told her to. She had poured like half the pot and wanted to keep the pot. As we all know, I'm a salt-eater, and I was sick on that day, I didn't want my food to taste that bland so I asked her why hadn't she poured the whole pot in.

The xiaolongbao was not bad. It's comparable to Crystal Jade's, and a lot better than Ding Tai Feng's, but still not as good as Yum Cha's. I still prefer the strong taste of soup of the Yum Cha's xiaolongbaos, but as an alternative, it's still okay. At least better than Ding Tai Feng's. I don't understand why people actually can eat the xiaolongbao's at Ding Tai Feng. More about Ding Tai Feng's xiaolongbaos here.

I don't mind going back to that restaurant to eat again, but I don't think I'll make a special trip down to VivoCity just to eat there.

A Couple of Updates

I've been so busy lately, always back home after late, but that also means I'm out and about, which can also be a good thing. A couple of updates in my life before this blog turns stale.

- I've been out quite a bit with friends, old friends mostly.

- My grandfather is critically ill in the hospital now, so Chinese New Year for us, no big celebrations. And the parents just said that CNY eve dinner is at the maternal side, let's just say that, I think I'll be a nicer person if I ate pizza at home than deal with *some* people there. But now that with the grandfather's problem, I can see the cracks in my faith in *some* people at the paternal side.

- I've survived the so called second anniversary alone which is a big deal because last year I almost broke down. This is a sign of me going stronger, I hope.

- I'll be growing older soon, will be 20 years old for the dunno how many timeth. No celebrations this year. Will wait for him to come back then maybe I'll celebrate, well, if he remembers about the present, if not I guess I'll just treat it that I'm still 19 years old. whatever.

- Had my first D for my physics test. My first D in six semesters. I've S/Ued the module immediately, and hope that my term paper and my next test, and my tutorials and participation can pull me up to an S.

- I took some photos when I met up with friends, got some photos from the rest of my friends, and have been doing quite a lot of photoshop for my previously taken photos, just that I haven't blogged about them yet. No time mah...

- Survivor's back, on Fridays 11pm, but in sync with USA, but no satellite cast. Amazing Race will be back, with simulcast, so that means I'll wake up early and go to school with my laptop just to watch it at the same time as the Americans. No early favourites this time though, quite sad.

- I've got three simultaneous problems with friendship, and all three problems are almost exactly the same. I guess that sounds like the problem lies with me.

Ironically, a couple of years back, the person who pointed out this problem to me and the cause of the problem made the same mistake and hence, I don't think he's worth keeping in close contact with anymore. But of course, he and the other three above mentioned friends are different la.

I was thinking, could the problem be because I'm not a conventional female in quite a number of ways. I watch football, I drink beer, I curse and swear, and I despise quite a number of femininity stuff which I call guniang. But that's also quite a contradiction because I like to dress myself as a female, and look just like a guniang. So is it because of my looks that guys tend to see me as a girls while because of my hobbies, I like to see myself as one of the guys? wahaha~ Identity crisis somewhere here.

Another thing I might be able to pinpoint to is that my reflex action is very sharp. Whatever that hits me, I'm bound to reflex in such a way which I deliver quite a large blow conversely. I think I'm very afraid of getting hurt over and over again, if not I don't see why this reflex action is sitting in so immediate that I can't even allow my brain to process the matter before acting upon it.

Anyway, since I'm already half through the most difficult month of my emotional year, I'm sure, or at least, I hope that things will go well soon. In not, by the time I start on my writings again, I'll just screw myself up. Or maybe I should skip the town and be a hermit somewhere without the reach of people to hurt me and people to get hurt by me.

But then again, I wonder what would happen of me if he came back without my present, or bring back a crappy present. I was already in tears when I heard the news lor.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


In a span of three consecutive weekdays I had three tests. On last Friday, another yesterday and the last one today. I haven't had so many consecutive tests for a very long time, not even last semester, wait, I don't even remember having my tests/exams being consecutive. But having too many tests isn't the subject for today.

Of the three tests, two were from the Science Faculty, and taking those tests, I realised that the teachers haven't been that creative in setting the tests. Not just not creative, these teacher plagarise the work of the students! kanasai...

There was one question from my Forensic Science test which was a question I asked the lecturer during lecture lor. Upon the hall of 400 people I questioned the potency of the Sarin Gas because the death toll wasn't as high I'd have imagined. The lecturer answered my question in quite a deadpan manner which made me look stupid and made the whole lecture hall laugh.

Then the test question came out to be quite a similar question to the one I posed. crap... And the question wasn't credited to me, I thought all ideas have to be cited and credited.

And to put salt on the wounds, the test today gave me quite another shock.

In almost my exact words, in the exact concept, one of the test questions was a question I posed in the IVLE forum lor. And worse, I didn't get an answer, or at least I still don't know what the answer is because nobody could confidently answer me. crap... And I still didn't get any credit for that question. bah~

I posed in the IVLE forum what would be the speed of light to an observer if I were to travel on a beam of light shining another beam of light behind me, and the lecturer came up with the question what would be the speed of light if a spaceship were to move left at the speed of light and shine a beam of light to the right at the back of the spaceship.

And the dumbest thing is that all the answers given by all the other students on the forum were the options given for this MCQ test. Nobody gave a definite answer to my question and naturally neither the lecturer nor the tutor answered my question. boo~

I guess this is the extent of the creativity of the Science people. bah~

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Odds and Ends

Coming back from my 4B reunion, I was into the nostalgic feelings and emotions like those when I spotted a "long lost" friend online. I started a chat which was supposed to be the kind of "how are you" and "what are you doing now" kind of chat, but as we went on, the memories of the past, and the reasons for the halt in the friendship was kind of brought up.

Maybe I was feeling a bit indignant, so we went back to the past and recontructed what happened right before our friendship started to diffuse. We went back it those past MSN chat logs and examined each of our own view of the events that passed. It was clear that both our memories were skewed and we each had our own views regarding what happened. I guess that paved the start of the end.

Then as I tried to push the blame to the friend by saying that the friend was not letting me understand the version of the story while also not wanting to understand my version of the story. Then the friend brought up a very interesting point, it was that I did not understand that the character of my friend was that there wasn't a need for all these details and stuff. I guess that was true. I didn't understand my friend as much as I thought I did. And that was something that made me feel bad, especially since I made it clear that that person had been a very important figure in my life.

In life, I guess that's how one learns things. I once learnt something similiar from the rough patch experience, and know that despite how sensitive I think I might be, I tended to bent things to suit my thinking rather than accepting people for themselves. I just have to accept my friend for being like that, rather than wanting to push things further, and argue, and get upset over everything. I should have just took things as such.

I'd also be a happier person. Don't need to be burdened by all these thoughts and emotions, and get upset by things. It'll be better for both of us that way.

I don't know if it's too late for us to start all over again. I really hope it's not. I also hope that this wouldn't affect our relationship in a negative way, because I really want to just learn more about my friend in another light, in the more natural way, and in the way the friend is most comfortable with.

Because, after all, as I said, said friend has been a very important figure in my life, and as my life takes more turns and swirl, I'd want to be able to rely on friends like these.

I think that fiasco with the above forementioned friend also reflects a couple of other failed friendships I had in the past and was brought up today during the 4B reunion. My friends, at least though I call as friends, the regular folks, should know by now that I do not like a certain other person. It was also after a series of such misunderstandings, failure of clarifications, a bit of betrayal and some other dashes of other factors that led to me being pissed with everything that person now says.

It's not that uncommon in relationships. As me and the friends started talking a bit more about other people and beginning a bitchfest, we tried to recall why we dislike some people and hence think negatively of all their other decisions and other actions.

It's not just because of a quarrel or some misunderstandings between friends that can lead to such a failure in relationships between people. As we talked more about the other people and updated each other about what the class is doing now. The topic of this other friend of mine was brought up. I used the term friend because I still treat that person as a friend. If we were to meet again, and I can still fortunately remember that person's looks, I'd still refer that person as a friend of mine. Because the failure of the relationship was about miscommunication or any other misguided stuff.

That friend just didn't want to carry on being friends. Still, I'm sure that there's a reason behind the act, but by not saying out the reason, that might be a form of miscommunication. At least that was what I thought before that very main point the first friend said to me. That I not know the character and make my own demands on the friend, is my own not understanding well about the person.

I shouldn't be blaming anybody except myself for not knowing my friend well enough and not accepting the person as it is, but rather attempting to put on my own demands.

All men are selfish creatures and only want to impose their own wills upon others. I'm like that too, but I will take note of my this selfishness and hopefully through time, I'm able to be more tolerant on others and accepting people for how and what they are and not impose on them what I want them to be.

Ahh... Suddenly feeling quite a bit wiser... lol~

Thursday, February 08, 2007

erm... Farrell's Injury

erm... After my twitter note there, I've received quite a few erm... queries regarding Prof Farrell's injury. erm... It feels quite weird to be relaying gossips (?), extra information (?), useless information (?), about other people.

Why don't everyone drop a get well soon message (email:, please check it again also hor) directly to A/P Farrell instead~

I'm sure he's be pleased to know that he has a large fanbase of groupies among the little students in the NU of S and everyone is anxious and concerned about him~ I think it's nice to receive messages of concern when one isn't feeling that well. And I think Farrell also needs that extra well wishing and condolences after Chelsea trashes Arsenal for the League Cup finals on my 20th birthday. I'm sure Chelsea will give me the birthday present I want. So please be extra kind to Prof Farrell and help him nurse his wounds~

PS: Oh ya, forgot to add that, about Farrell growing shorter, it might just be a figment of my imagination, I didn't dare ask him if he really did grow shorter or not... oops...

Excerpts from Scarlett Flight

"Come on, Steven. Don't be like this. It pains us to see you like this," said Jade painfully. Tears were already uncontrollably flowing out of her eyes.

"I said don't call me Steven!" boomed Ming. He burst out, but after that he became deflated. He repeated himself again, but this time it sounded more like he was whining. "Don't call me Steven anymore... It's Ming. I'm Ming."

William stood behind Jade and gripped his wife's shoulders tightly. His eyes were red and teary. It appeared as though his grip on Jade was for his support. If he had not, he might have had collapsed.

"Ming..." William muttered.

"Ming..." Ming whimpered. "Ming..."


A petal from a red rose fell onto the ground. It fluttered in the wind, taking two turns before reaching its final resting place.

A red teardrop dripped across a face, a nameless face and fell across the air onto the ground with a big splat.

A red handkerchief fell off a pocket and floated onto the ground. The wind blew it half a metre off its course.


Adele lay in Ming's arms and whispered in his ears, "Steven, do you love me?" It was just like every other couple seeking a verbal reassurance after making love. Adele was no different from other females.

"Of course I do, Adele," Ming replied with the standard answer of all men.

"You are a nice guy, Steven," Adele said, a bit off the point of discussion regarding love. "You have a nice family, you have a nice future, you should have a nice girl too."

"I already have one, Adele."

"No, you need a nice girl from a nice family, with a nice future."

"Adele, nice is not determined by family background. Besides, nice is subjective. I think you are a nice girl, and so you will be a nice girl in my eyes. Always."

"I'm nice?" Adele asked. "I'm nice."


"What a sweet girl Candy is," Jade cooed. "She really suits her name right, William? She has the nose of Steven and yours, so upright and firm. She'll grow up to a beauty."

"Don't worry about things, Steven. We'd work something out somehow," William said grimly.

"How many times must I say before you remember, call me Ming!" Ming shouted hysterically at his parents. But after that outburst, Ming softened. "And don't call her Candy, call her Tian too. Her name's Jingtian."

Jade turned to stare at William. A look of pain, a look of doubt, a look of uncertainty, a look of questioning, a look of sympathy, all were written on her face. William looked away from her, not looking at Ming either. He could not bear to look at any of the pain upon both the people he loved the most in his life. Instead, he turned to Tian and touched her tiny face, an index finger was all that was needed to cover half of his granddaughter's tiny face.

"Why do you want to do this?" Jade asked, leaving out naming her son from the name he wanted her to use nor the name she wanted to use.


Standing in the bathroom facing the mirror after his shower, Ming stared at himself. He had a head of black floppy hair which his teacher always had to remind him to cut and which he never did. His face was well-defined and handsome despite his relatively young age. It had a tinge of jadedness which came along with maturity unique for a teenager his age. He had after all been through a lot over the past few months.

His eyes were blood red after nights after nights of crying and breaking down. Lines had started to form at the sides of his handsome face. His nose was red too, and slightly swollen, and that redness spread to the whole T-zone, and his cheeks under his tired eyes.

"So what if I look good?" he snorted to the image of himself. "So what?"

His eyes were still glued at the image he saw in the mirror. He was tall, and still growing. Like other growing teenagers, he was skinny, but on closer inspection, there were signs on his body indicating his active participation in sports. His abs were one of those tell tale signs.

Touching his chest lightly with his fingers and feeling his heart beat, Ming slowly brought his fingers down hus body, feeling his stomach and tracing the lines of his abs.

"So what if I've a good bod?" he smirked to the image of himself. "So what?"

His eyes finally came down to his groin. Instinctively, his head jerked away from that sight. He could not bear for his fingers to continue the path down his body. He hated his penis. He hated all that had happened after the damage caused by his penis. He hated his penis so much that he wanted to remove it from his life.

"After all the trouble you've caused, do you really expect to stay alive?" Ming questioned that image of his penis. "How can a murderer remain alive?"

Ming's gaze roamed away from the mirror and shifted onto the pair of scissors he had taken from the kitchen. He had prepared for this execution for quite some time already and it seemed like the time was up today.

Picking up the flaccid penis in his left hand, Ming picked up the pair of scissors with his right.

"You time is up. Prepare for the execution." Ming mimicked the words of the executioner in those period dramas on television.

He brought the blades of the scissors over his penis. He could feel his heart beat increasing even though he had shut off his mind mentally. It is now or never, he thought as he prepared to press the scissors shut and execute his penis.

"Goodbye." Ming muttered.


"William, tell me, have I failed as a mother?" Jade sobbed into the arms of her husband.

"If you have failed being a mother, then I don't know what I've been for the past 16 years," William said sadly as he took Jade into his arms. Both could only find solace in each other as the failed parents of their only child.

"I'm so afraid, William. Every day I fear that he would do something stupid," Jade buried her head deeper into her husband. "I'm so afraid that he would follow after her." Tears filled her eyes and smeared all over her face and her husband's clothes. "He's my son, my only son. No matter what he did, he's still my only son. I'd forgive him, absolutely."

Tears stung William's eyes. He was less honest in his emotions and could not bring himself to the state of emotional breakdown like his wife, but all sorts of feelings and thoughts, and love for his only son was brimming inside him. He thought of all those years back when he played the role of the stoic father. Regret suddenly hit him hard in his guts. As much as he wanted to hold his wife close to him, he wanted to embrace his child and tell him that he and Jade would always be there for him. Always.

But this was not the time William could let his emotions take over him. He had to be the man, that pillar of support for his wife and his granddaughter. He could not lose anymore people he love.

"Let's go pick Candy up," William said softly to his wife. But in his voice, Jade could feel the strength she needed to pick herself up. "Let's bring her up ourselves. As our daughter. Perhaps that could lessen a bit of the burden on Steven."


Excerpts are not in chronological nor plot chronological order.
All are fictional and stemmed from the figment of imagination of the author herself, any resemblence to any persons dead or alive is purely coincidental, or a figment of your imagination.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Lost Memories

Yesterday while taking the bus back home this story plot suddenly found its way into my head. It isn't a fresh idea, but an old idea which I hadn't developed. Maybe because of the present circumstances, and the maturity of my mindset, I had this thought on further developing the personalities of these characters, and also further developing the story as a whole.

Last night, I went to dig up all my old diaries, jotter books, and all note books and materials on Lost Memories and went through them hoping to get the feel of the plot and also to see if what new ideas popped up in my head that was beyond my imagination those years back. Going though those old diaries in search of all my materials, I realised that I wrote a lot more, thought a lot more, had more ideas when writing stuff down. On my blog, a lot have to be censored, hence a lot is not written down and a lot is forgotten. Quite a pity...

I was quite surprised when I checked the dates of my jotted down notes, the idea of Lost Memories before I came up with the plot of Scarlett Flight. And speaking of Scarlett Flight, I wrote quite a few exerpts but all on paper. I might want to type them up on the blog some other time. Actually, I think I should start digitising quite a bit of those jotted down stuff in my diaries because what if one day I lose them, I'd be losing quite a lot. Of course, I must also be backing up my digitised stuff too la.

The concept of Lost Memories was formulated in Chinese, even when I attempted to write out the full story in a novel form, I wrote in Chinese. Reading what I wrote, I realised that my written Chinese is quite awkward, no thanks to the genre of Chinese books I read. If I were to want to take it back and rewrite the whole lot, I don't think it'd be possible for me to do it well in Chinese. That only leaves me to write that novel in English, just like how I'm going about writing Scarlett Flight. But then again, quite a lot of meanings and connotations will be lost. I'll have to resolve that somehow or another.

Like for one, the Chinese title is 《白衣·天使·心》, how can one translate that title and leave the connotations I want intact? Actually, both the English and Chinese title was thought up along with the plot, so it's not something new.

What was new was the names of the characters. Before I started plotting out a flow chart of the story and the general idea of the plot, I decided to list out the characters I will be using, and looking at the names last night, I decided to rename almost all the characters. Naming characters is the hardest thing to do. It wasn't so bad for Scarlett Flight because those names were apt for the characters. There wasn't a need for me to rename them when I took that idea out to rewrite the story. The only problem I had with the characters was that I was deciding if I should name Adele Adele or Scarlett, and that should Scarlett be Scarlet or Scarlett. In the end, I decided to stick with Adele, but I used the name Scarlett for my other short stories. In fact for most of my short stories, I stuck with the names Ming/Steven and Shan.

These were the names I came up with last night. I suck at Chinese names, so, yea... And trust me, these are the better ones I thought of last night, the original names suck even more. I even gave them English names.

Ling Zi, 25, female.
No English name. I didn't change her name. Okay, I did but the change wasn't done last night. Her original name (don't laugh) was Wang Zi, but the was a mark cancelling that out and changing her surname to Ling instead. I mean, of course, the change had to be made.

A strong yet wilful girl who has absolutely no recollection of any memories before her 18th birthday. She has no parents and lives with only her foster mother who refuses to divulge any information to her about her before she was 18. And (the action cue) at the beginning of the story, we're introduced to her as being ill. Her illness the the whole spine of the plot, so I can reveal that without labelling that as a spoiler, but that's all I can reveal.

Yea, another point to note. This, unlike my other writings, is an attempt to be indulgent. I'm more fond of writing like one-on-one relationships or love triangles and stuff like that. Also, I usually tend to feature more females than male characters, but this time, in a bold move, I tried out this reverse harem style of story. Yup, it's about Ling Zi's relationship with three men, each men by their own virtues is a different kind of lover, and hence each of her relationship is different. Did I say that this story is super indulgent? yea... Get ready the tissues and hankies. I'm quite a bit apprehensive because after writing all the cynical short stories, an indulgent piece will come quite different to deal with. Even Scarlett Flight by its own virtue is not an indulgent piece. erm... Of course it isn't, the protagonist is a male, it's be very weird if it were to be indulgent. wahaha~

Anyway, introducing the men...

Khairul, 25, Cancer, computer programmer.
I'm thinking of the Chinese names Yang Yonghui, Yongqi, Yongyan, or some other Yong-something. He is the kind of high school jock kind of person, he plays sports, I'm deciding between Football and Basketball. Since he's the high school jock, he's very sporty, muscular and attractive, though he's more interested in his sports. He's a simple guy and lives on the simplicity in romance. The kind of guy who'd bring a girl out to the park to play, have dinners together, take that long bus ride home and let her sleep on his shoulder. Generally a kind person.

James, 26, Scorpio, neurosurgeon.
I hadn't wanted to name him James, but the name James just shouted out to me to name him that. In my original manuscripts, I had named him Nicholas, Dr Nicholas Chang. Don't know if I should stick to that or call him James. So far, I'm only satisfied with the name Khairul. The moment I read his bio last night I knew he was a Khairul to the T. Back to James anyway, Chinese names that I thought of was Zhang Mingjie, Kaijie, Zhengjie. He's your high school student council president, the powerful, attractive, charismatic yet mysterious guy. In a relationship, he's intense, steadfast, and posessive. He's the kind of boyfriend whom every girl would be jealous about, but not many would dare take up the challenge of being his girlfriend because it's too pressurising and dangerous. He's born into a family of notable doctors, rich, well-groomed, which all add to the unattainable aura around him. Generally he's a complex and complicated character.

Christopher, 25, Virgo, advertising director.
I really didn't want to name him Christopher because of all the connotations, but he's just the typical Christopher. Was also teetering about naming him Nicholas, before I found out from the manuscripts that I had originally wanted James to be Nicholas. Chinese names, Wang Junwen, Wang Rongwen, Wang Zeming, which is the same name as Ming/Steven from Scarlett Flight, which is also the damn reason why I'm reluctant in using this name. He's your high school playboy. Very good looking, very smooth with treating the girls, has a whole hoard of girlfriends, all smittened with him. Of course, with his looks and his charm and all the girls around him, he doesn't stay true to any one of the girls and flirts around with them freely. He's the guy every girl has a crush on. Generally, just think of the most popular person alive.

At this point, I want to ask, who would you fall in love with?

For the supporting characters...

Foster mother: Mary
Real mother: May Ling
Doctor: Dr Fang, Dr William Millers
Actually in my manuscripts Dr Millers was Dr Christohper Millers, but since I named Christopher, I can't use the name again.
Actor: Steven Filles
The name came up in the manuscript even though I really dread using the name Steven again. Filles is pronounces as "files" like the stuff you put your paper in. He's also a guy who likes Ling Zi but he's an asshole and he's not really that important, other than he's a jerk. hehehe~
Director: Adam Cheng
DJ: DJ Bear Li Weixiong
Teacher: Chen Xinhua

I can't really reveal too much about what role these people will play because that would give out too much about the plot, but the focus is still on the three guys above.

I realised as I described their characters, they've come to fit several stereotypes of certain horoscopes, and I've put them up in their bio-data. But I've yet to think up on the birthday of Ling Zi, I might want to fit that in the story later since something important to the story will happen on her 18th birthday, so I need to see how the events of the story play out. I was at first thinking about her being a Gemini, but if the events play out to her birthday, she might have to be either an Aquarius or a Pisces instead.

Anyway, all my characters are all fictional and derived from my own hyperimagination, any resemblences to any peoples living or death are purely coincidental. Another thing to note, the idea, I last checked my manuscripts dates back to August 2000, wow, 6-7 years ago. So copyright should refer back to that date.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Referat: Herzogenaurach

Remember this post about me visiting Herzogenaurach some time ago back when I was in Germany travelling?

Well, for my German class, we were to do up a referat (oral presentation) on a place, and because Freiburg was taken, I decided to do on my next favourite place in Germany, and a place whom nobody knows about, so at least if I give factual errors, nobody knows about it and I won't feel paiseh. My German teacher hadn't even heard of that town before. hehehe... Actually, back when I bought my tickets to go there from Freiburg, that old Reisezentrum (travel centre) attendent too hadn't heard of that town before.

Anyway, I remembered an advice given by an ex-tutorial mate who's a bizad student, he said that if the content is lacking, must make use of some other form of aesthetics to make the content look interesting and more volumous than it is. Hence, I went to custom make my own powerpoint slides~ hehehe... Another trick I learnt from him.

I spent four hours last evening to night doing up the powerpoint slides. The most amount of effort I've ever put into making powerpoint slides. And after making these very beautiful and themed slides, I'm starting to looking down on people who uses custom slides or worse, plain coloured slides, or lagi worse ugly coloured slides. I even uniformed the fonts and used the nicest and easiest to read font. erm... Okay, easy to read is debatable because someone once said that it is proven that Times New Roman is the easiest font to read when printed out, but this is powerpoint, so it's projected out not printed out. yea... Over my dead body that I'd use Times New Roman. I used Berlin Sans to go along with the German theme. wahaha~

Anyway, I'm putting up my slides~

I like the black and yellow theme on a German flag and football field/football background, and it fits my topic on adidas and PUMA.

Of course, those points were only to give me a rough idea about what to talk about, I prepared a couple of postcards about much more points to speak on, but I didn't get to say everything in the cards because I overran my 5min of time. But I must say, I still love my slides to bits. It came up to about 23mb big, that file, but it's damn worth every single megabyte.

I must do more powerpoint presentations in the future man~

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Joke of the Day

Taking a break from my work, I'll like to share with everyone a joke I just heard on the news.

Malaysia's Mahathir nominated for Nobel Peace Prize by Bosnian NGOs

Report: Malaysia's Mahathir nominated for Nobel Peace Prize by Bosnian NGOs

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) -- Malaysia's former premier Mahathir Mohamad has been nominated for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize by four Bosnia-Herzegovina nongovernment groups for being the developing world's "most courageous advocate," a newspaper reported Sunday.

Mahathir influenced the world on ideas about how ethnic diversity should be managed, The Star said, quoting the nomination paper signed by representatives from the Sarajevo School of Science and Technology, the Congress of Bosnik Intellectuals, the Serb Civic Council and the Croat National Council.

Ejup Ganic - chancellor of the Sarajevo School of Science and Technology - worked closely with Mahathir when Malaysia provided humanitarian aid during the 1990s conflict that fractured the former Yugoslavia.

Mahathir is the Third World's "most illustrious contemporary" and its "most courageous advocate," Ganic was quoted as saying.

The groups also hailed Mahathir as a representative of moderate Islam, and for his work as an ambassador for peace in conflict-prone Muslim areas such as southern Thailand, the report said.

Mahathir, 81, retired from public office in 2003 after more than 20 years as Malaysia's prime minister.

His aides were not immediately available Sunday for comment on the report.

Mahathir is well known for his caustic criticism of Western countries and of the U.S.-led war in Iraq.

The nomination period for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize closed on Feb. 1. Among others nominated this year were former U.S. Vice President Al Gore for his efforts to create awareness of the dangers of global warming.

The secretive Nobel committee never comments on specific nominations, but members often note that anyone can be nominated.

Last year, there were 191 nominations for the peace prize, which went to Bangladeshi economist Muhammad Yunus and the Grameen Bank he founded to help the poor.

(taken from AsiaOne)

Say "No!" to that antagonist creature from winning any kind of award for PEACE. For godssake, that freak is an antagonist! How could an antagonist be nominated for the Nobel Peace Price? I bet those Bosnians are blind and cooped up in their little own world of Bosnia-Herzegoniva. Let's just think back of all the antagonistic measures that creep took on against us. All the water issues that he like to blow them bigger than proportion, that fiasco of a bridge, pointless, baseless accusations against people of our kind.

What swine is that to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize???
What hog is that to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize???

I concede that that guy is an effective politician (with all the negative connotations to the stereotypical politician too) and a guy who brought greater economy development to the hinterland up north, but but but he failed as a peacemaker. Simple as that. I won't object to a prize like Politician of the Year, or Retired Politician of the Year, or Economic Developer of the Year or whatnots, but PEACE??? Give me a break man...

He better not win the award sia, if not that would be the end of the world liao...

Okay, I need to go back to my work, I'm running late. But this presentation of mine will be a blast man. I'm not going to say that I'll give a good presentation, but the powerpoint slides I'm making now are the best I've ever done in my life. wahaha~ It's supposed to help me cover up my lacking in the speech.

Personality Tests

Your Personality Profile

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart.
Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people.
You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile.

You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker.
You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side.
Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

I thought this is quite true of me. I really like that picture, don't know why, it just seems to appeal to me a lot.

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours.

You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.

You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.

In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

Even though I don't solve other people's problems, I'm quite a good listener, but maybe that's because I'm been through a lot and I can understand well and know when not to give advices. I won't say I spend a lot on clothes, but I don't like to buy cheap clothes, lol~ And I do have trouble throwing stuff away. But then again, most of the clothes I buy can trans-seasons, so I'm still wearing them years after buying them.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Don't know much about this one, perhaps there's a certain extent of truth hidden somewhere inside which I have yet to know about.

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.

You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.

Overall, you are very content in your life.

Your dreams indicate that you have very conflicted feelings.

You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

I usually have very rich and vivid dreams which I'd share with friends if they happen to be around because the daddie once said that bad dreams need to be said out loud to prevent bad things from happening.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Reminiscing X

It wasn't on purpose, I swear!

I was sitting at the bench with Yingling this afternoon before my German class started when my classmate came over. He announced that he was Yingling's classmate way back in secondary school. Curious, since he was from our area, he should have gone to a JC in that area. So I asked. VJ, he said. Actually, I think he did mention it before, but I never took notice of it until today, maybe I was a bit in the nostalgic mood already.

He struck me as an Arts student, so I asked which class he was from. I didn't really expect anything from the answer. okay, I thought he'd from Arts, but he was definitely not from A55, maybe A53 or something, where all the history students were. I really, I swear, I really had not expected his answer of A51.

My stomach churned. Really.

Maybe it was because the weekend before my sister had a primary 4 class gathering, and she was bursting to tell me everything about it. She went on with detailed descriptions of ALL her classmates, even those who didn't go for the gathering. Of course, I was dreading that she bring him up but she did. I'm glad that she did, because that gave me the guts to do what I did today. She was saying about how aged looking Nicholas is now. Chaulau face and everything. And that he didn't get into any JC for first three months but he's training in the VJ soccer (I hate this word, I can never spell it right. It's football you dumbasses American wannabes~) team.

Well, that little description of her reminded me of the vice-captain naturally. But of course, what has past has past, and I've more pressing and turbulent stuff going on in my life. There isn't a need to dwell on the neednots.

But knowing that this person right in front of me could clear up my doubts on a certain sighting, I decided to ask the question.

Where is X now?
Friend: Here la.
Joan: Where la? Which Faculty?
(Actually, I really was hoping that it was not Law, not Law, not Law, I was telling myself. Really.)
Friend: Law.
(Damn. That must be him.)
I actually, tried to ask if he stayed in hall, but my friend's response was the negative, but I think I was so convinced that my sighting was real that I kept giving myself excuses. It had to be him.

Really, if Nicholas could age that much in that couple of years, okay, a lot of years, I don't think I've seen Nicholas since I left Tao Nan. bah~ So, if Nicholas could age this much, it didn't seem that unlikely that X could become ugly right? And he's short. double bah~

I was saying that X looked short to my friend.
Friend: No la, he's not short. He's about my height.
Joan: But you are short.
(It came out of my mouth without me meaning to say it out loud. Really. I was just indignant that someone so good looking could deteriorate so badly.)
Our teacher heard that and started laughing. I was so paiseh lor... wahaha~

Okay, with this post, I think it's so obvious that everyone should know who my X is. He's the one with a brother by the name of Nicholas. Crap, I think the only person who might understand this are either my old friends from way back or my sister. Jane, if you read this by any chance, don't you dare ask me anything because I won't answer you anything. bleahz...

Okay, and also to make things clear, I'm not being bitter or jealous or anything of any sort. I'm just disappointed that someone who once looked so good (even though he's short) can look so bad now (because he's short). Think the main problem is boys can be cute but men can't. Joan of today cannot take cute boys at all. Between Yuki and Shuichi, I really cannot stand that whiny cute boy Shuichi and instead prefer the cool and collected Yuki.

It does help too that Yuki is six feet tall...

PS: I'm actually hesitating clicking the publish button. It's like taking my underwear out to hang for everyone to see like that. And I know some busybodies will try and fish out more information from me, or exert some over-imagination about all my words and stuff. But heck la, what's the use of having a blog when I can't be honest.

PPS: Sorry, I forgot something, if *you're* on feed, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to clarify something because *some people* seemed to have been mistaken. X is X, Rough Patch is Rough Patch, they are very different individuals. Really don't know why *some people* can get muddled up...

Of Widows and Extramarital Affairs

(re-edit: it's neither Peiyi nor Cindy. it's the other person whom i used to go ktv with frequently, ya, used to go. oh well...)
(edit: a factual error, I went with Cindy to the KTV and not Peiyi as I previously thought. Paiseh Cindy~)

I caught the title of this song on someone's blog and the image of the song stucked in my mind. I dug it up from my song collection and have been playing it on repeat mode ever since. I first heard the song sometime back during a KTV trip with Cindy. I first said that I never heard that song before, but she said that I definitely have heard that song before but just that I can't remember the title to the song. After she started singing, the song sounded vaguely familiar. Indeed I've heard that song before.

The song didn't strike me much other that I liked it. Then recently, I saw in a blog that that person listed this song as his favourite song. Digging out the song to hear it again, and reading the lyrics as I sang along, there was a different feel to the song. Maybe it is also that I've grown over the times and now that I've experienced some other different things, I feel more for the song.

寡妇村传奇 The Legend of the Village of Widows
周华健 Emil Chau







There are that sometimes, I feel that I'm not much different from a widow, just that I've no kid in tow. hai... But listening to this song gave a an inspiration of an image which can be expanded into a short story or a full length novel. That is if I get to putting down my ideas and images on paper. But if I write it, I might want to try out writing in Chinese. It's been a very long time since I wrote a full length thingie in Chinese. I seem to be becoming more competent in English to the extent of neglecting my Chinese.

Then, there's this other song which stuck in my mind after I happened to hear it on Shuffle. The interesting thing about shuffle is that once in a while, I'd get to hear songs I've forgotten but nevertheless really like a lot. This is one of the occasions.

I wrote about this song before.

The whole image that this song attempts to project is the scenes from In the Mood for Love. The whole idea of them being married but deeply drawn to each other and yet nothing can come out of this relationship. I thought the lyrics also brought in another aspect not part of the film, the obsession with the ring and the fourth finger, and the wanting to end that affair.

Felt a lot about the song, especially the lyrics, and the wanting to end it all by 13 February.

夜会 Rendezvous
王菲 Faye Wong


I was listening to the first song yesterday afternoon, and I mentioned in passing to the mother about it. I said it was a very nice song. It's about the story of a widow. The mother gave an awkward look at me and asked, why I listen to such depressing songs, the more depressing songs I listen to the more depressed I'll become.

But really, mentally, I've grown to be a lot stronger than a year ago. There are less emo posts, less emo outbreaks, things have more or less stabilised, and I've slowly come to accept things as it is and not to think too much.

Some time ago, a friend of mine who had relationship problems finally made the decision of a clean break. He had a long discussion with me and said it was finally time to let go. The period after letting go wasn't a totally happy period and other complications arose. Now that things are fine, I'm also happy for him. Recently, another friend who had a similar problem too came to this similar decision for a clean break. Before this, there were a few attempted breaks, but all fell apart. This time he sounded determined, but only time can tell.

Wish them luck. But let's not forget the girl in a much worse position than the men.
She made her decision too, even though...