Friday, October 01, 2004

I Need More Time

I need more time. And friends who have time.

I need more time and less procrastination to actually start writing drafts for my 4 essays/term papers/whatever you call them. I also need time to actually go shopping. Not shopping for things I do not want but shopping for things I need. Then there is that great movie coming up The Motorcycle Diaries that I really feel like watching. Well, even if I do manage to squeeze out some time, my friends, loads busier than this poor girl, would not be accompanying me anywhere. Sucks man...

So where have I spent my time on?

Really, I have absolutely no idea. Tests? Maybe. I had EU test which totally sucked. I had never come across a worsely written test paper, never in my 19 years of life. There was my Deutschsemestertest. Yes, those Germans really just put all the words together to form a longer word. All I can say about that test is that learning a new language from scratch is definitely not easy. But we all remember those times memorising is was been; come came come; has had had had; lie lay lay; lay laid lain; go went gone; blah blah blah from our that Primary English book. Then there are those time wasted on that chU 9pm show which Im hooked. And football. Waking up at unearthly hours disrupting my already spoilt bio-system, luckily those matches were not what I consider disappointing performances. I actually enjoyed it comprimising some more important stuff.

Im losing more weight and emotionally wrecked.

Im not eating properly due to the fact that I dont seem to have common breaks with my friends so I dont bother eating. Im like subsistencing on sandwiches from Coffee Club Express and Fuzion every night, and when Im really hungry it will be hot dogs from the snack stall. I had 4 hot dogs on Monday, and another 4 on Tuesday, Wednesday I didnt have any but I had 3 both yesterday and today, so that makes it 14 in a week, not counting that I have a bbq tmr and I probably wont be eating chicken, just stuffing myself with loads and loads of hot dogs. Funny to think that with all the hot dogs down me Im still losing weight.

With no one to go out with me and me being cooped up in my room 24/7, its no wonder that my Stupidity Symptoms seems to have closed down for good. And without me doing stupid stuff, I feel quite sad. Not the boohoo kinda sad, but more on the sad kinda sad. Sad of life; sad of studying; sad of not getting what I want; sad that I got what I want... Geddit? Sinking lower into pathetism... Ya, Im sad, the pathetic kinda sad...

Then there is my pathetic infatuation with a certain German footballer. Pushing the parameters of Joan's emotional limits to saturation.

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