Steven Lim

Steven Lim

Joan has never been reduced to tears watching variety programmes, ever. But as most things, there'll have to be a start somewhere. Steven Lim started it.

What is humour?

Joan doesn't think that strutting around in a yellow swimming trunks is very humorous. Hence, Joan wasn't exactly very entertained by Steven Lim, in fact, she was cringing throughout his performance she unfortunately saw on TV, the sad variety programme of Top Fun.

It is quite ironic to think that just the day before Joan was explaining to her friends why she absolutely detested Stephen Chow and Ben Stiller and would never pay to watch Kung Fu Hustle and Meet the Fockers, their respective movies now running. Joan finds that Stephen Chow and Ben Stiller kind of humour are not very funny and instead is rather disgusting. Sad to say, Joan would be putting Steven Lim up among detestable humour with Stephen Chow and Ben Stiller.

And everytime I think about that time I met him in Orchard, my goosepimples would appear. I'd go, oh my god, oh my god, he was 20cm away from me?!! It sounds so disgusting that I'm feeling so faint now.

Really, I wonder which decent person would do what he did on national TV. It's either he just has a burning desire to perform and/or let people know about him, or he is plain mad. I saw how the female guests in Top Fun were reduced into tears then realised that tears were too streaming down my face. Was it lears of laughter? Someone asked me. Definitely no! It was more like tears of disgust. My body was cringing so badly that I thought I was going to get spasms, but instead, tears just uncontrollably ran down my face. Yes, Steven Lim is that bad.

This makes me wonder. After Singapore Idol and Econ Night last year, why could the Top Fun producers still allow Steven Lim up on stage?!! Someone should just ban him from being on national TV and disallow him to ply his trade in Orchard, ever. I think I'm having a phobia of Orchard ever since I met him there and kena terrorised by his wanna pluck eyebrows routine. For once, I'm showing due respect to Mark Lee, for walking out on this horrifying guy.

*salutes Mark Lee*

But still, my most cringing TV/movie moment is awarded to Stephen Chow. In one of his Sun Wukong shows, the second one actually, Xian Lu Qi Yuan, I was most horrified by the scene where Stephen Chow's character had his crotch burned. I always flip over when I see that scene on reruns on TV. Can the relevant people doing the TV programmes just burn that tape and never show that show ever again, please?

Hai... The degradation of TV that makes even the most diehard TV fan not want to watch TV... What else has life in store for this girl with eyes wide opened in horror?!!