Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Joan is getting old liao~

Joan is getting old liao~

Recently, Joan's memory has been getting shorter and shorter. Monday night, Joan was chatting with a friend and Joan was trying to recall what she did the night before, where did she go and she can't remember. It was just 24 freaking hours after that incident and I can't remember anything about it! omg... That was a sign telling me that things were getting really bad. Then my friend commented, "It's okay la... If you can't remember it, then probably it wasn't anything special."

That struck my heart like a blade piercing through it.
I knew something special had happened on Sunday and that I could actually forget it was bad, but for my friend to make me sound so flippant made me worse.

What was the worst?
When I finally remembered what happened on Sunday, I was overwhelmed with guilt.
Sunday, I went with the ding-dings on a round the island house visiting trip. That was the most fun thing I did over the past couple of weeks and as you know, the ding-dings really occupy a special place in my heart. I always feel light-hearted and comfortable with you guys, so much so that I think we are more like a family. For me to forget about them, I really felt so bad with myself that at that moment I really hated myself for being so forgetful.

That was not the only incident.
Yesterday, Joan was online the whole morning trying to arrange to meet friends to celebrate her this whole week, then in the afternoon as she was trying to fit in more friends, she forgot when are the days and times she has been taken up liao. This is VERY bad. What if she screws up her scheduling and fit her friends in the wrong timings then how? Her friends will hate her forever and wont want to be her friends forever. hai...

And when she wanted to explain to her friend the extent of her being busy, she listed what had she been doing, and where had she gone over the past week to her friend. But Joan stopped short on Monday. She freaking could remember what she did on Monday except she know that she went out. And she had went out almost the whole day. So Joan sat straight there shh-ing her friend to let her have time and space to recall her day before happenings. 15 min went by, Joan suddenly remembered that she went back to school. She had a make up theatre studies practical. This is really really bad. hai...

Joan would like to make some things clear over here. If she forgets about meeting up with you even though she had set a date aside, please do not blame her. She really didn't mean to forget you. Also, her forgetting you doesn't mean that you occupy a lesser position in her heart from the example of the ding-dings on Sunday. Please friends, all of you are special to Joan, she will try her best not to forget any of you, but if she does, it is REALLY not her fault.

Before Joan forget any other things, Joan better keep a weekly update on what went on in her life or what's going on in her life on this blog.
Monday: Joan went back to school for TS prac, then went to submit her LIA application form, then she met up with a friend.
Tuesday: Stayed at home most of the day, but went out for tea in the late afternoon with a friend at Siglap.
Wednesday: (today, will be...) Meeting up with a friend, then going for rehearsals in the afternoon, might try to fit in another friend to meet up for dinner, but if I don't do that then I'll go home for dinner. Also need to see what time will my rehearsals end anyway.
Thursday: Doing something with the ding-dings from 12pm, better get Michelle to remind me sia. This sounds important. Then at 7, meeting another friend at City Hall, is it? Safer to confirm again...
Friday: Back to school, then meeting a friend after my lessons.
Saturday: Meeting a friend. Time and venue not confirmed, must get back to that person again. Wait... Who is this am I meeting? damn... shit... Oh no! Shit! Think I've made a freaking error liao... Was it Huijing or Huising am I meeting on Saturday? Who did I say I can meet first? I think I said I'll be meeting Huijing on Saturday, if so, then when am I meeting Huising? Have I even arranged a time to meet Huising? wtf...

*mental note: later contact both Huijing and Huising to clear up this mess*
Sorry girls... Both of you... It really isn't my fault, really. No, it's all my fault! It's all my fault that I've such a bad memory but i'll try to make things up. REALLY, please believe me...

Another serious problem with memory this girl have, and she would like to make use of this opportunity to warn all her friends first, if any of you receive multiple sms-es from Joan, well, don't freak out. Everytime after Joan sent a message, she will pause, stare at the screen then wonder to herself, "Have I sent this message?" Sometimes, she will backtrack to her sent messages box to check, but most of the time, Joan message inbox is full and there isn't any space to record the message sent in the sent message box, so for safety purposes, Joan will tend to sending the message again. hai...

Joan is forseeing a possible rise in the sms usage. So friends, please refrain from over spamming Joan with sms-es, if possible look for Joan online. I will tend to delete sms-es when my inbox is full, which half the time it is so I might forget the content of the sms. If it's something important, you'd wish to remind me, I'd say the safest bet is look for me online. Worse case circunstance, I'll plough through my message archives and or message history and search for forgotten content.

Joan has been reading and reading lots of messages from her message archives recently, and she must say going through all of them is pretty time wasting, but at the present moment she really can't think of anything better that she can do to improve her memory.

It is especially freaking when you take into context that the last movie Joan watched was A Moment to Remember. It's a Korean movie about this girl trying to put down her past relationship with a married man and finding new love. Just when everything was at the height of blissfulness, she finds out that she has a hereditary illness, something like Alzhiemer's disease and that all her memory will soon be wiped off, starting from the most recent. This first she forgot was the man she loved most. awww...

Okay, this is freaking Joan out. Joan does not have any form of disease, does she? No, she doesn't. yup... I'm fine. Just a bit stressed out ba... Stress can lead to memory loss, yes, Joan is rather stressed lately. hai... Maybe I should visit a doctor if things worsen. In the meantime, please help Joan by crossing your fingers and constantly reminding her. Thanks!

Here is Joan, a couple of hours after posting this blog entry, typing a postscript. The reason for her doing so? She is just so bloody forgetful! She had wanted to make a trip down to her hostel room before going for her rehearsals, and wtf, she forgotten to bring along her goddamn keys! Can anyone top that dumbness?! I'm just so disappointed with myself. Even as I'm typing these, tears of indignants are welling up in my eyes. I can't believe I'm so pathetic! And what's worse? This is not the first time I've forgotten my keys and I don't seem to have learnt from my past mistakes of checking for my keys before I leave my damned house.

I feel so bad... How can I make myself feel better?

Here is Joan yet again, a couple of minutes after editing that post and adding a postscript. Reason? More evidence of loss of memory... I have no freaking idea on why is it so, but I had always thought that the first day of the Champion Leagues matches are tonight and the next day's tomorrow. So When I went to check the Yahoo! sports webbie, I was shocked to see the scores of matches I thought would be played later. Have you seen anyone as pathetic as me? Luckily, Chelsea's matches are yet to be played, so I can still watch them tonight, and not the night after as I previously thought. So that would be a rearranging of my schedule again.

I seriously need help!
Lots of them...

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