Friday, October 14, 2005

Dark Vivid Dream

I just removed a draft entry of the above title.

I had a dark vivid dream on Tuesday night. It made me late for my 8am Wednesday morning lecture, but I did not regret waking up late. That was one well worthed it dream. I think it did to a very large extend portray my sub-conscious feelings towards a certain friend and it told me what I should do next. I just wonder what happened in the dream would it become reality.

A bit about this friend. A couple of days back, I had this strong sense of deja vu while MSN-ing with the said friend. What we talked about all seemed vaguely familiar that I thought we've had this conversation before, but my friend denied it. Could it be that the deja vu feeling came from a dream I had once? Possibly...

I've told three people about my dream. One of my friend commented that it was dark. In my draft entry I wrote about my dream, but now I think perhaps I should leave my dream with those three friends, I think it's too personal to overshare here. The other friend who heard about my dream commented that I was very scary. I don't think I am scary as in scary, but I think I have too many things which I am scared of, and one of it is losing my friends. However, the third person I told my dream to is the main character in my dream. The view of the dream was different.

I am not saying that I fully agree with what my friend said of that dream, but it provided me a different light of that dream, and I really think that this dream is one ominous sign. I shall follow what my dream tells me to. Maybe it's the right path.

Following that dream came more signs to me that made me no longer in control with myself. I made a promise with someone else, thereby giving that person the mandate to control my life. It might sound more cynical and dark than the dream, but well, it was a choice I made and I shall adhere to it. I once broke a similiar promise, and regretted it so I shall not make the same mistake twice. This time I shall hold firm. And the first thing I should do in adhering this promise is to do as what my dream dictated.

Then another major revelation came on Friday. With this revelation came more fear in my life, but with the consolation I received, I have faith that all will turn out fine. The little rag doll will be a little rag doll and always remain a little rag doll. 19 November 2004, 23 November 2004, two dates that will stick by me forever. And today's date, Friday... 14 October 2005. All marked out.

I'm digressing.

One more thing about the dream. I think some of it was inspired by a book/drama serial I'm watching currently. The English title as translated by the drama serial is Lofty Waters Verdant Bow, 云海玉弓缘, being the original Chinese title. I'm reading the book now and find myself in the shadow of a certain character. I'm using her last words as my MSN quote and this afternoon I gave that quote away, "只望你将来在鸳鸯枕畔,月下花前,能偶尔的想我一下,想起曾经有过一个非常爱你的人,那我就会感激你不尽了!" I didn't say that that quote was her last words so the impact wasn't there. Really, if a dying person was to say this to me, I'd definitely flip. The 死别 is usually of the most impact because, there is no 回头再来.

Maybe I should take a cue from the books.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I know you made this post years ago, but I was wondering... you mentioned you read the novel "Lofty Waters Verdant Bow" somewhere in the post, do you own the novel, or did you borrow it?
& was it in english or chinese?
I'm trying to find a copy of the novel to read, but so far I haven't had any luck.
I dont know if you'll ever read this comment, but if you, please reply back at my email at