Sorry 背影

Sorry -- An Excerpt

She lay in her bed with her eyes half closed. She tossed under her sheets and reached out for ther person who was supposed to be beside her, but all she grasped were more sheets. Her eyes flickered open immediately. The coldness of her bed beside all scared her. She bolted upright, all sense of tiredness was pushed to the back of her head.

He sat at the foot of her bed, buttoning up his shirt. His pants still lay on the floor beside the bedpost. As soon as she saw him, she pounced on to him and grabbed him tightly, wrapping her arms round his chest. She buried her head in his back. He took no more than a second to brush her arms away from him, he pushed her back. She fell back into her bed among her sheets. She looked up and stared at him almost pleadingly.

"Please don't go," she begged as she wrapped her arms round his waist, once again burying her face in his shirt and dampening it in the process.

He broke free from her grip again and pushed her back into her bed. He stood up to wear his pants, leaving her in a mess in her own bed. She stared hard at his back, hoping that she was able to will him to turn his head back to look at her, but she failed. She got up once again and knelt at the foot of her bed wrapping her arms round his neck. She brought her face to the back of his head and smelt the familiar smell of his hair.

"Please don't leave me alone," she whispered into his ear just before he pushed her away for the third time.

She fell head first into her bed and buried her head under the sheets staining them with her tears. She was not able to control those tear from flowing out of her eyes. She stared hard at the guy whom minutes ago told her she was the most beautiful woman on earth. The change was so sudden and shocking that she was unable to comprehend what was going on.

She looked hard at his back. "It's late. Please stay for the night, please I beg you," she pleaded, choking on her own tears. She couldn't help but start sobbing. If there was anything she so wanted at this moment was for him to turn his head back and just look into her eyes. She would melt. However, he did nothing.

He walked away from her bed towards the door. Without turning his head back, he uttered, "I'm sorry."

She stared at his back as he slipped out of her room and shut the door behind him. She stared at the door as it shut itself in front of her. She stared into space hoping that the door would open itself again. She stared at the door hoping to be able to see him walking through that door the next moment. She stared through her tears. Everything became a blur.

Slowly, reality sank in, she turn back to her sheets and the pillow he rested his head on a couple of minutes before. She bend down and buried her face in the pillow drawing a huge breath at the moment. She smelt him, she smelt him right beside her, and then she opened her eyes startled, he was gone. Unable to control herself, the tears streamed out. She cried out loud. She continued piling the sheets over her and burying herself deep into the bed hoping that she might lose herself by doing so.

The sheets turned damp and salty. She turned into a bag of nerves. She couldn't understand, it was a very simple request, and yet he couldn't oblige her. She felt cheapened.

《背影》 -- 短篇一则

她躺在床上，眼睛似乎已关上了。她在被单里翻来覆去，得不到一丝的安宁。她伸出手想抱紧应该躺在她身旁的伙伴，但她触摸得到的却只是一层层的被单。你在哪里？她心里想着，眼睛不由自主地睁开了。冰冷的床吓着了她，她立刻坐直，眼睛察看四方，寻找他的背影。她已不觉得累，不觉得困，她只想看到他。

他就坐在床脚，一粒一粒地扣上他衬衫上的纽扣，他的裤子还仍在床脚边。一看到他，她立刻扑上前紧紧地把双手卷在他的胸前。她把她的头埋在他它的背后，但他却用不到半秒钟的时间把她的头推开，把她推到在床上。她跌入她的被单中，把头往上仰，深深地注视在他的背影里。她的眼睛似乎在恳求着一样东西。

“请你别走。”她求着。她把双手紧紧地套牢在他的腰间，一再地把她的脸埋在他的背里，弄湿了他的衬衫。

他摆脱了她的纠缠，再一次地把她推到在床上。他站了起来，穿上了他的裤子，留她一团糟的曲卷在自己的被单中。她望着他的背影，希望她能够用心理感应来迫他回过身子望向她，但她却徒劳无功。她再一次的爬了起来，跪在她的床脚，把手臂圈住了他的脖子。她把脸带到他的头背，用鼻子深深的吸进一口气，闻着那那么首席的味道。

“请你别离开我。”她轻声地把话传入了他的耳朵，但他第三次地把她推到在床中。

她的头先跌入了床中，她又把头埋进被单中，无法控制她的眼泪，任由眼泪积在被单上。她无法控制眼泪不停地流出眼角。她盯住他的背影，回味几分钟前他还轻声密语的在她耳边说她是这世界上最漂亮的女人。他变了，不到几分钟，他变了。他变地又突然，又不似他自己。她不知道现在的他究竟是谁了。

她望着他的背影。“时候很晚了，你留在此过夜吧。我求求你好吗？答应我吧。”她哽咽地求着。她不得已地开始哭泣了。如果现在她能够许个愿而得到她所要的东西，她会要求他回过身来，让她最后一次望入他的眼睛，看穿他所有的心思。她就要求这么多而已。但他什么反应都没有。

他离开了床边，走到了门口，但依然不肯回过头一下。“对不起。”他最终说出了口，就走过了那一扇门。

她盯着他的背影，她望着他走过的那一扇门，她望入空白。她在空白中希望她可以看到他回过头来进入那一扇门，她要再一次用视线捉住他的背影。但她只看到眼泪。她只看到蒙蒙的一切。

慢慢的，现实似乎步入她的感觉。她把头埋入被单中，她又把脸扑入他刚用过的枕头，深深的吸进一口气。她闻到他的味道。她似乎感觉到他没离开过她，但当她已张开双眼，看不到他的背影，她又不由自主地大声哭了出来。眼泪跟着不停地流啊流。她把被单往身上盖，她想要把自己变得更渺小，再从这世界上消失。

被单变得又湿又咸。她变得无法控制。她不能明白，她只要求了那么一小点的东西，他却办不到。她觉得自己还真够犯贱。