Friday, March 10, 2006


A bit of plugging before I start...
That's the place to go and vote for me. Thanks~

Okay, back to where I want to start. I was thinking, one fine day,
What if one day something goes wrong with Blogger (touch wood), like if Google goes bankrupt or something, what would happen to my blog?

So, I decided to do a backup of all my blog entries. As of this entry, I have altogether 290 entries, so without a backup, in case of any circumstance, 290 days of my life would be liquidated, just poof, like that. I asked a friend, how can I do backups, the reply I got was to manually cut and paste each blog entry over to microsoft word. Tedious, but that's what I'm doing now. I've started yesterday, and have yet even reach the halfway mark of my archives. And I only started writing more entries and longer entries lately.

Someone commented that my font is pretty small. My sister says it's actually okay, so I don't think I'd do anything about it. Okay, even if it's too small I can't do anything about it unless I change my whole blogskin which I'm not planning to do. Another reason for my such inability other than the technical one is that if the font gets bigger, the entries would seem much much longer. And my entries are already very long in the very first place.

I ramble on too much. But this is me. I think I'm getting naggy as I age. Or maybe it's just that I've seen so much and felt so much that I really need an avenue to express myself lest I die somewhere halfway. Sometimes I post pictures too. But lately I'm too dead to do much postings.

One bad thing about doing backups is that I have to confront my past again. It like my past have been all kept sealed in this bottle and I have to go through the process of opening up the bottle and transferring them to another bottle. These past manage to evaporate out during the transfer and are floating all about me. The past and the reality never has been so stark in front of me.

I'm not a person with a happy past, but not all I wrote in the past are unhappy. Little things hidden behind words only known to me are what hurts the most. Especially my MSN space. I seem to be trying hard to forget it's existence. Yet, I don't bear to delete all those memories. Deleting those memories would be like undergoing erasure of memory sans Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I was reading my previous entry one that. When I first watched that, there was nothing in my memories that needs to be erased, but now, there are so many memories burdening me.

I need to get on with my life without being stuck in the past, but somehow I don't want myself to move forward. I don't know what I want.

My bottle is now overfilled with stuff. I'd think memories are like gas, can be compressed. So I'd be compressing my memories into my bottle, but what would happen if this is done? An increase in pressure within the bottle. If my meagre knowledge of primary school knowledge didn't fail me, in a non variable space, an increase in gas would lead to an increase in air pressure in the space, the gaseous particles would then move faster and collide with other particles more frequently.

I think that's what is happening to me. By compressing my memories, I'm creating further stress on myself and increasing my pressure. The memories will return to haunt one day.

1 comment:

Steven said...

ahh... haha