Love and Sex

I just had this conversation with a male friend of mine.

Friend says:
The girls I've really liked

Friend says:
I didn't think about ****ing them

Friend says:
....much

Me says:
then who do u think of when u think of sex?

Friend says:
Because after awhile I felt guilty of such thoughts

Friend says:
Girls I don't emotionally care about

Me says:
hai...

Me says:
i dont understand men at all...

Me says:
i dont understand how man can separate love with sex

Friend says:
Hai of course would be great to make love to the person you love

Friend says:
But hot girls who are sexually attractive, the body can't help it

Me says:
then why can't love those sexually attractive girls?

Friend says:
Because love is based on other stuff other than hotness

Friend says:
Guys can go to prostitutes but don't need to love them

Friend says:
Because in a sense it's not the person we want, but the body

Me says:
how can men separate themselves from their body?

Friend says:
Because the brain can exist without hormones

Friend says:
Hormones just influence the brain

Friend says:
Anyway you won't understand unless you're a guy

Friend says:
Sex is just sex.

Friend says:
Don't have to be emotionally involved

Friend says:
Plants can fertilise without feelings

Friend says:
So can men

Actually, I should have known all these long long ago. He was the one who instilled all these into me to prevent me from getting too carried away, but of course, I got carried away. Even after going through bad times, and surviving all of the shit, I thought things might be better for me. But of course, things will never get better because of some inherent composition. I don't understand. I can never understand. Doushite? Doushite? DOUSHITE???

Maybe I do understand but I don't want to understand. I don't want myself to be hurt any more.

After that conversation, I changed my MSN message.
all those things i did because of love are the same as all those things you did because you never loved...
Suddenly I regret my decision from this...

It funny that I actually teared. I can actually tear during an MSN conversation... lol~ I feel so disappointed with myself. Maybe I can blame my dinner... I put too much wine into my pork, but then, I still think it's the events of yesterday, and a wrong decision made.

Memorable Quotes from Brokeback Mountain

Jack Twist: Tell you what. The truth is... sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.

Jack Twist: ... You are too much for me Ennis, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
Ennis Del Mar: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you that I'm like this! I ain't got nothing... I ain't nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Jack.

Jack Twist: There ain't never enough time, never enough...

Ennis Del Mar: Bottom line is... we're around each other an'... this thing, it grabs hold of us again... at the wrong place... at the wrong time... and we're dead.

Cassie Cartwright: [on the verge of tears] I don't get you, Ennis del Mar.
Ennis del Mar: I'm sorry.
[he pauses]
Ennis del Mar: Was probably no fun anyway, was I?
Cassie Cartwright: [crying] Ennis, girls don't fall in love with fun!

Oh well... At least both Jack and Ennis were guys who really loved each other. At least...