Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Sexual Bribery

Disclaimer: This is quite a risque topic for me to touch on, but I think it's important for me to voice out a couple of opinions after reading some stories about it. ALL THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS. My own thoughts. If you happen to be a professor, there are two ways you can react, 1. Feel guilty about it because you are one of those. If you are guilty, feel guilty. Guilty as charged, you have no right to make any comments about my comments. 2. Counter my arguments, plead for your innocence, make a case for yourself, because you are innocent. Only if you are innocent.

Okay, I'll start proper, what would you think of when one mentions sexual bribery to you? My first impression was about policemen, from a neighbouring, I shall let it remain anonymous, country receiving sexual briberies from women from another let's shall not name it country and allowing those women to ply their trade of sexual activities in the country. Singapore is a state that emphasises a lot against bribery of any sort, and can even be considered as a police state, so such cases are rare here. In fact, I hope that one day I can say that there are no streetwalkers from that unnamed country in Singapore. I only hope.

I've been to Geylang in the middle of the night for supper before. I usually go with groups of friends, so it's quite safe. But I've seen streetwalkers before. In this entry, I'll use the term streetwalkers because I don't want to be too crude on them. They are humans too, they have mothers and fathers and some have children. I've seen them standing along the streets. The thing about them is that if there's no demand, there won't be supply. So, where does the demand come from? The demand is now my main point of focus.

If you know me personally, I'm sure you'd know my now famous maxim, "All men stray". I'd like to think that the only man who doesn't stray is my father. That I shall leave it open today because there are other pressing problems.

I was talking to a friend of mine, I think he'd prefer if he weren't named. He is a virgin. But he said too that there's also a possibility of men straying because of the primate need to release. That's what wives are for, I always thought, or girlfriends, so why streetwalkers? One possible argument is that because those men don't have a partner. But I know that's a crap reason. I know. Personally because I know bastards.

The thing about these bastards is that they are absolutely normal men. They might be beside you, behind you, taking the table next to you, in the toilet cubicle beside yours, or the urinal beside yours, or that they are people you know only that you don't know about their personal lives. For all I know, my dear professors in school might be visiting them as what the unnamed friend suggested. When men are lonely, when their partners are away, when they don't even have a partner, and need an outlet to release their passions, a paid worker is convenient.

Into the night life in Singapore, well, a lonely person don't even need to pay for these streetwalkers if they want sex. It's also convenient to check into a bar, or club, pick up a nice looking girl, how nice depending on how much alcohol he's just consumed. Okay, I admit now I'm overgeneralising that people who needs sex has to be men, I know there might be some other women who needs it too, but I think women are less likely to pay for sex, although one night stands might be a convenient choice for them. As what the unnamed friend said, what the professors do in their personal time is their personal business and as long as they don't let it affect their teachings, there's nothing I can do about it.

Maybe I'm living my own sheltered (it's an excuse, I guess) life, I'd want people I respect to be nice, clean, scandalous free people. Although I firmly believe that all men stray, I think of exceptions, people I respect are always expections. I'd like to think of my professors, teachers, and the likes of them are untainted people with little or no sexual desire. I know it's impossible.

Basically, anything I don't know won't harm me. But recently, I read this confession in an anonymous site. I shall let it remain anonymous. The gist of it is that this girl confessed that there was some sexual bribery going on between her and her professor. This is not the first time I heard it, I heard of another anonymous confession of a JC teacher letting a student bribe him with sexual favours. Of course, those are the only two I've heard which seemed to be local, okay, the one with the JC teacher has got to be local. I'd like to think that the first one isn't, but I think it most probably is. Other than local stories, I hear a lot more of those stories happening in the States. I don't know how prevalent it is in Japan, but quite a bit of the mangas I read involve a teacher-student relationship, although that relationship is based on true love instead of pure lust, or bribery. I know of at least two namable but I shall leave them anonymous Chinese teachers back from my Secondary School who married their students, but I guess love and marriage is still different from sex and bribery even though marriage does involve sex. Anyway, they are two teachers whom I do not like. One of them was in fact pure hateful, but that's another matter.

Put it into context, the more I think about it the more afraid I am. I am very afraid that the JC teacher might be one teacher whom I respect. I am very afraid that the professor might one one professor whom I respect. I am very afraid. Although a teacher/professor's private life has nothing to do with his teaching, much less with my life, but I've placed my respects in them. It's like living in a perfect made up world, and if one day cracks are to be formed, my whole world will collaspe. I say all men stray, except people whom I respect, so if one day I realise that people I respect stray too, I'd really think that all men are bastards. There is no more hope left in me.

I won't say I'm a saint, because I'm not. But I'd like to think that there are people whom I can look up to, people who are really good. People who are able to give me hope.

I shall not give any names here, but there are many people whom I respect in school. If one day I hear stories that these are the same people who accept briberies, I think I think... Actually I really don't know what I'd do.

You see, teachers and professors are different people from say footballers or rock stars. I will definitely be disappointed if one day I were to hear stories of my favourite rock star bedding some streetwalker, or some other girl even though he is already married, but I won't make a big fuss over it. It always seems like the entertainment industry is dark and sex-filled. I know some people might argue that myself would even like to bed my favourite rock star since I'm a self-proclaimed groupie and I make declarations of loves and openly say that I want to marry him, but truth is that, to me, he is god, or someone close to god. And sex with god is like taboo. Okay, I'm don't want to hear rumours or stories about that's the reason why priests like to have sex with kids, those paedophile them who shall not be named religion whom it seems like a stereotypical rumours, tales, and stuff.

Footballers are different too. John Terry can have all the sex in the world since he is in a power position of which he can attract lots of women. I love him, but still sex with him is like having sex with god, so unattainable. I've read stories of groupies telling of stories of having sex with celebrities and the whole surreal feel about it, but my point is that those are celebrities. Inacademic people. It's placing a different expectation on different groups of people. It's like a teacher walking into RGS and expecting the whole class to score A1 for Maths, but the same teacher expecting the whole class to merely pass if he/she's at a neighbourhood secondary school. It's placing a higher bar on them.

Teachers and professors to me are educated beings who can control themselves. They are different, to me. Of course, I know all men are the same, blah blah blah and stuff, but to me they really are people from a different planet. I won't say they are god, but to me they seem pretty much close to god, like a deity like that, also cannot have sex one. I don't know why. Okay, granted, I know men need to have sex unless you're castrated or something, maybe impotent, whatever, but still, to have sex with just any girl any where is a bit low to me.

And the worst thing of all. Streetwalkers, fine. One night stands, fine. Sexual bribery from students, that's pushing my moral limits a bit too far. No way I can accept that. If it's a forbidden love blossoming between a teacher and student, by all means, LOVE. Love is all forgiving. But sex for the sake of sexual needs and desires, it's sucks. No pun intended. One professor once told me that NUS is a microcosm of Singapore. I'd think that Singapore's tight anti-corruption laws would be similiar to that of anti-corruption policies enforced by NUS, but this does not stop my overactive imagination. All professors have their own little rooms in which anything can happen inside. If both parties don't say anything out, there's no way anyone would know about it. Right?

I seem to be saying that all professors are guilty with accepting sexual briberies. In the eyes of the law, it's "innocent until proven guilty", but to Joan, it's "suspect until proven innocent". Note, I used the term "suspect", not "guilty". There's an old Chinese folk tale. Once, the government clamped down on alcohol brewing in ancient China, the authorities captured all wine brewers under the charge that they own distilling eqiupment which they might use to distill wine. One sage asked the authorities to capture all men since all men possess a weapon that could be used to rape. The authorites relented. Yes, those men are not rapists, but they are all suspectible to rape. They are all equipped with the tools to rape, so unless they don't rape, they are all potential rapists.

This is my ideology. All men have the potential to stray. If they don't, good for them, they will be proven innocent. If they do, bad for them, they will be proven guilty. If they don't know what to do, they still have the potential and I think they should be monitors, and until further evidence is found, they are still suspects.

I wouldn't go so far to suspect all my professors and teachers from past present and future to have accepted briberies, since we all know Singapore is very tight about it, but underground, anything might have happened just that we don't know about it only.

As I was telling my unnamed friend, the same one I mentioned throughout this entry, there are lots of temptations around. A female ex-teacher of mine once told me not to wear too skimpy clothes to school in the university because "the professors are still mortal men". She's a teacher. She's been through university. She advised me that. What can I make out of it?

Granted, I'm fat and ugly and I've bad complexion and above all that I'm public enemy number one (with me being an ardent Chelsea fan, I'm hated by all men already), I won't have the chance of tempting anyone with my fats, but being in Arts, I do see loads of skimpily dressed, thin and pretty girls who are hardworking enough to paint their faces every day (I'm a fat lazy ass, or rather, I've a fat lazy ass. lol~), I stand nowhere near them. Sometimes I can't resist not oogling at them, so where do the professors stand? They have loads of pretty young girls swarming around them every day, how can they not be tempted?

And if they are tempted, how would I react about it? Not saying tempted to me la, but to those girls, and how I'd feel about them, those girls and those professors...

I don't know. I once did a role playing game about teacher-student seduction, but that was playing to the other party, not really playing to the role. Truth is, if I happen to know any account of something risque happening to somebody I know, I'd flip. It's too scary to think of it.

The opposite of love is hate. But the line between love and hate is very thin. If something I once held so dearly upon turns out to be farce, I think I'd lose all my senses. Feeling nothing is something that's worse than hate. Voidness.

Take the 9pm drama on channel 8 for example. Shuyang has gorwn up thinking that her mentor is the best dad in the world, is the best lawyer in the world, is the nicest person in the world. If she knows that he has an illegitimate son, we can't expect her feelings for him would be the same, would it? She already hasn't go any feelings left for her own biological dad who left her.

(If there's any professors out there reading this entry, until proven guilty, although suspect, I still respect you.)

(And another thing to note. Albeit a little scarier. I think there are lots of temptations in the polytechnics in Singapore too. My dad is a lecturer.)


Agagooga said...

I pity the profs in Science...

And SACSALs are so...

All men are potential rapists - so all women are potential whores and sluts also.

xxoos said...

so all women are potential whores and sluts also

despite me being female, yes i agree with that.

juz_A_ga| said...

menn stray especially if they have $$$. if not, want to stray also got problem. so keep them poor.

cynic said...

this is completely random, but has anyone ever told you that you remind them of furong jiejie?

i'm sorry, that thought just struck me when i saw the GIFs just above your profile...

xxoos said...

i might be fat and ugly, but i certainly do NOT look like furong jiejie.

and sad to say, poor men can still stray. if they're lucky enough to find a girl who loves them that all material needs is not important, why wouldn't they stray even though they don't love.

quirK said...

Essentially, nothing but the man's own willpower can stop him from straying.

Willpower is fickle though.

Little fish said...

the primate need to release. That's what wives are for, I always thought, or girlfriends, so why streetwalkers? - huh? really? do you mean that you'd get married cause your boyfriend wanted sex? One possible argument is that because those men don't have a partner. But I know that's a crap reason. I know. Personally because I know bastards. - you're right. All men ARE bastards. All women ARE bitches. Just varying degree of it.

And you're right, you don't look like furong jiejie. Your poses remind me of Xu Chun Mei. So is Geylang dangerous for you when you are alone at night? You've gotta be kidding.

fortycalibernap said...

men crave 'strange'.

it's not just release, it's the need for different.

Chuang Shyue Chou said...

Hey, Chelsea is a good team. I don't hate Chelsea. I know other guys who support Chelsea like you do!

I think a lot of us have a universal dislike for ManU instead.

Anonymous said...

why are all those idiots saying you look like furong or xu chun mei? I nv knew Furong and xu chun mei themselves go around snooping blogs and posting comments like these.

Little fish said...

no mr anonymous, I meant that the poses reminded me of xu chun mei. Xu chun mei is in a class of her own.

i'm not sure if frjj or xu chun mei go around snooping. but i'm sure as hell they won't leave anonymous comments.

jessica tan said...

You really do look like FRJJ la. For a while I kept thinking to myself, should I take this girl seriously?

Nothing much to say about your entry.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps one can surmise the reason why you hold ALL lecturers/academics to be morally upright is because of the fact that your father is a lecturer himself. There's some Freudian analysis to be done here.

Father figure = All that is good.
Father = lecturer = academic
All that is good = academic

However you deny it, Freudian theory suggests otherwise. Even if you deny it consciously, I would think that it's true unconsciously

Packrat said...

The problem with your argument is that it is based off the assumption that "all men stray". Your argument can't go in any other direction than "all male lecturers stray" because of your initial assumption.

As much as I disagree with your initial (flawed) assumption, I have to admit that some men stray. Others don't. When we look at that possible subset, we can say that some men don't stray.

In order to apply this to your topic of discussion, we need to figure out why these men DON'T stray and I can safely say that being surrounded by the young and the nubile does not factor into fidelity. (It makes it harder but I would have to assume that it just means more willpower)

This adds more dimension to your argument than just saying "let's look at the biological basis for infidelity". Because reinforcing your initial assumption isn't that hard but in order to answer your question, we will need to figure out what the factors are in place that keep your lecturers from straying.

You might want to be careful about using the term streetwalkers because somehow or another, it comes out sounding more offensive than prostitutes.

And yes, I am a teacher.

Anonymous said... stray... so do women...
Women who use their physical assets in exchange for material gains is just as bad as man who paid for sex. I know of some insurance agents who will go as far as having sex with their clients in exchange for policies.
And also women who seduce their male bosses, break up people's family just for money.
As u said, supply and demand. It can work both ways. It takes 2 hands to clap. It's about a person's character here, not about which sex he/she belongs to.

Anonymous said...

Most male teachers/profs turn off that "natural sexual urge" when it comes to their students. Most of them are very clear about their roles as educators and the possible consequences if such a thing were found out. These profs have spent decades building up a career and a professional reputation. They would hardly throw it away for a rut in the sack/even the possibility of real love, no matter how hot that student is. NUS has very specific rules and regulations against professors dating their students. And all of the NUS professors know this but not students do. Both the professor and the student would be disciplined in the event that such a romance occurs between the two of them. These are things that the university places to protect the interests of the students and the professors. But having said that, there are times when students would come onto their professors in a sexual way. Some blatant, some not so blatant. Some do it to test their attractiveness, some do it to trade better grades, some do it simply because they could, because they wanted the experience of being with an older and more experienced and knowledgeable man and some because they really did love their prof. and it was a natural progression of their relationship. Some people I know (not in Sg) have found that their profs weren't that good in bed cos their passion was all for their subject of study and it's all used up and there's not enough left over for the boudoir.

Who are we to judge our profs? They are human beings too and have needs and wants for intimacy. As long as they don't break the rules and regulations by sourcing for sexual intimacy with their students, we have no right to interfere in their personal affairs. So what if they go to Batam every week to visit their mistress? So what if they cruise Geylang to have sex? So what if they date a lot and have serial monogamous sex? As long as that person hasn't broken a school rule, we can't sack that person. And we need incontrovertible proof before we can proclaim that the prof was guilty of accepting a sexual bribe from one of his students. If you do have such a proof, I hope that you would do the right thing and submit that proof to the relevant authorities who would be able to take action to prevent such a man from teaching in NUS anymore. It would be best to let the relevant authorities investigate the situation than for you to speculate on the exact nature of the relationship between the said prof and the said student. Should the prof be found guilty, he should be given the appropriate punishment in accordance to the rules he promised not to break. You would be doing other people and yourself a favour if you let the relevant people know about that proof that you have.

One prof used to relate his personal experience teaching in Hawaii, where the female students would come to class wearing only their bikinis after a morning of surfing. He said, the first day, I was like "wow", the second day, I was still excited but by the end of the semester, it was nothing special anymore... haha. It's what happens when you've been teaching long enough. Your students are students, not romantic targets or sexual possibilities. You don't even notice their figures or whatever feminine traits they have and people outside of your profession wonder how you manage not to walk around with a hard-on with all these beautiful hot girls around you all the time. You just don't. For you, it's a job that puts bread on the table, money for the children, money for the mortgage and so on and so forth; not a place to meet a future wife or a great lay in bed.

We don't live in a perfect world, so these "under the table deals" may happen from time to time, but in my years in NUS, I have not personally seen or heard of any such case of sexual bribery. I believe that it is not very prevalent in NUS or in Singapore in general. It would depend on who you speak to tho'. It is a case of seeing what you want to see. Some profs do get these proposals, but they don't act on it. Students who do such things could actually get turned in by their professors and in some universities where the profs are especially afraid of losing their position, such students would get into a "black list" and everyone who teaches that student would know because it's in their student record.

Profs teaching in US universities are very paranoid about such accusations and it has gotten to a point where students and profs find it hard to interact normally. I hope that it doesn't happen in NUS. They don't close the doors when they are inside their office talking with their student/s. They actually leave the door wide open, so anyone can look inside and see what's going on. They have this special way of placing their tables so that people outside would have no way of thinking that they may have some sexual thing going on with their student inside the room... They are very careful not to have any physical contact with their students and they don't crack jokes that easily cos they have to make sure that the jokes do not come across as "sexually teasing". One teacher in Australia was actually sacked for placing his arm on the chair of a female student while teaching a class because it was considered "sexual harrassment". He lost his job, his family and his career, everything.

I think that for sexual bribery to happen, the onus should also lie with the students. That students should be professional about their roles and not to try to better their grades by offering sex in return for better grades.

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