Monday, September 25, 2006

Should I Stay

Someone sent me this song some time ago, when I just returned from Germany and was experiencing rough patch 2.0. Should I Stay by Dreamz FM.

I did play the song on repeat mode a couple of times then, but never took much notice of the song even though my friend included the lyrics in the email for me. To me then, the song was just another song which lyrics didn't make an impact on me.

Then as I took the bus home today, I saw the repeat telecast of Singapore Idol on TV Mobile. After that I came home and played the song over again. Curious, I went to look up my old emails and dug out the lyrics of this song. It was then that I realised why my friend sent me this song. To that dear friend, please accept my belated gratitude. I know you are facing a problem too, let just cross our fingers, grit our teeth and hope that something will come out of something.

Date: Sun, 13 Aug 2006 17:46:40 +0800
From: "censored" View Contact Details
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To: "Joan Ang"
Subject: Should I Stay

had a drive driven by your love
but when you messed around i lost the drive i found

thought you needed, needed someone true
but you changed your mind or had i failed you?

wish you'd been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart and broke an angel's heart

the kiss was true, has to end somehow
but i am livin' proof of what love is about

it's hard holding you, loving you, losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know, i gotta know
should i stay or should i go?

you played me on, played me like a clown
but i feel for you, even though i'm down

my heart is heavy, heavy like a rock
but i am so amused, you're still in my thoughts

it's hard holding you, loving you, losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know, i gotta know
should i stay or should i go?

should i stay?
should i go?

it's hard holding you, loving you, losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know, i gotta know
should i stay or should i go?

this time its done, it'll never feel the same
but we had some good times, guess it's sad just the same

i guess the truth, doesn't matter somehow
but you were livin' proof of what love is about

--

I battled this question for half a year, or more than that. I thought I was supposed to go, but the last date changed it all, in the end I stayed. Actually the last date did had some problems, a day before it we met again, then on the last date I was put aeroplane, so technically I can't really call it a last date since I've now decided to stay.

The big question is should I meet him before Italy for one last time, or let Italy do us part and we'll see how things go from after that. I am prepared for all the consequences should I stay, that I'm very resolute. If time has come for it, I'll do whatever I should do and accept whatever blame.

No regrets.

2 comments:

Dinzie said...

how old are you> this song means a lot to me. i dunno shud i stay or shud i go?

xxoos said...

erm... age has become a sensitive issue...

i guess the question "shd i stay or shd i go?" is typical to eveyone at a crossroads in a relationship. slowly we all have to find our own path. guess this is also why this song is so popular among people, it reaches out to us and means something to us.

good luck~