I woke up feeling trash no thanks to a bad dream without closure. Sucks... It kinda sets the tone of the mood for the rest of the day.
Yesterday my family hosted a Christmas party, of course there was the usual opening of the mahjong table (kai tai, open table?) I played one wind of five games only, I fed three rounds, won once, and the last one was someone else zhimo-ing. I had such bad luck that I didn't want to continue playing. I played another two games that night and lost my budget. I can't remember the last time I lost so much in mahjong, I usually am a big winner. By the end of the day, I was cranky and tired.
Then someone messaged me.
The last time something like this happened, I caved in, but this time there was no way I could cave in, I was this cranky and tired, and I just hosted a party, there was no way within my physical abilities. Besides, there was no excuse I could give either.
I twice declined and made it clear. When the tactics of the last time was used, I knew anymore exchanges of messages would make me feel worse and unable to resist. I took the more effective method of ignoring.
I was already lying on my bed half-asleep with the last SMS came in. I ususally don't turn my phone to silent mode, but this time I did it so that I could have an uniterrupted sleep. I fell asleep in about two seconds at the grand early time of 11pm.
I woke up at 3am.
First thing I did was to take a look at the phone, I knew, I knew things wouldn't stop just like that, I expected like another message, or a missed call. Turned out to have 4 missed calls. It was pretty scary. I ignored it and went back to sleep, but I guess the trauma already affected me.
The dream opened with me returning the missed call. A lady picked up the phone, I asked for the correct person, but she replied coolly that that person was missing. I tried to enquire more, and that person coolly answered all my questions. At first I thought she was his wife, but after hearing how she answered my questions, she definitely wasn't, but I didn't know who she was. I think I made another call to the same number again, this time it was a Thai transsexual who picked up. I don't know what I was talking to him/her about, but it seemed to be something to do with doing touristy stuff in Singapore. The conversation dragged until I got fed up and finally asked about where the owner of that handphone was.
I don't know what happened, but a JC classmate of mine appeared, I wasn;t in contact with him, so I don't know why it was him. But he offered me the information I needed, and told me that the person whom I was looking for was dead drunk in some house party in Jurong. I had to rush there immediately. But I don't know why I appeared in the middle of town without my wallet, without any money or cards. I wanted to loan some money from my friend, then decided to ask my friend instead to come with me, so that I can have some help if needed to take care of the person who was dead drunk.
After some hasslings and stuff, we decided to catch a bus then catch a cab somewhere else. We had to cross a road to the bus stop and we had to jay walk across. A policeman came out from nowhere and caught us jaywalking. He grabbed the edges of my shirt, which was a low cut singlet which I wore over a halter bikini, and somehow, he was holding onto the straps of my singlet and bikini and hence exposing my breasts. I was traumatised. I was so traumatised that I started crying and shouting that he was exposing my breasts. He then grabbed my face and started lecturing me so close to my face that traumatised me even more.
I woke up in tears. Nothing was said about what happened to the dead drunk person, which made me feel even worse.
I woke up at 4am. So I guess the course of the dream only lasted about an hour. I returned the missed call, but the caller switched off the phone and I got the Singtel woman instead. I replied by SMS.
After that I went for a bath, yes, at 4am in the morning, thank you very much. This is coming from someone who just had a relapse of her old injury no thanks to the cold rainy season. I'm just so screwing my physical body over and over. Coming online and reading blogs, and blogging eased me up a bit now. But I still have tomorrow to deal with when I get my reply.
Then there's also the sinking shit of getting the result. I'm so scared. This is the only semester which the total amount of time I spent on studying adds to one hour. And that one hour, all I did was formulating points to spot questions. Although I successfully spotted two questions, enough to complete the paper, I am still very worried. Guess what I can only do now is to cross my fingers.
I've enough of shit in the last 12 hours already. It should turn for the better. It better...