Conversation In A Park

Overheard in a park at about 9.30-10pm of a conversation between a couple sitting on a bench.

She: Look at that balding, short, fat man over there. I bet that he's damn deprived. Let's make out in front of him and make him feel jealous about us.
(Girl pulls Guy close to her and started kissing, but Guy burst out laughing.)
He: You're so damn evil.
She: No, I'm not evil, I'm just being mean. No, I'm not being mean, I'm just being playful only.
(Guy shakes his head in despair.)
(The balding short fat man leaves the park shortly after the kissing scene.)
(After Guy stops laughing, he pulls Girl close to him and wanted to kiss her.)
Girl: Haiya, kiss for what, also nobody around to see us kiss. Not fun one.
Guy: Huh??? You call this fun?
Girl: I think it would be more fun if there's someone who just broke up
and sitting around here watching us make out.
Guy: Wah, if it's me I'd definitely cry lor.
Girl: Hahahaha. Let's look around to see any lonely souls out there to make fun of.
Guy: You are so evil.
Girl: No, I'm just being playful, and have nothing better to do.

I think everyone more or less have some moments alone in a place filled with couples and look at the couples with a tinge of jealousy. I remember once when I walked down Singapore River to see the many couples hand in hand, or hand on waist, or whatever whatever, and even though I told myself, and I knew to myself that it didn't matter what my relationship status is, I was still happy about everything. But still, sometimes, there'd still be envy. Maybe some different times, there'd be a tinge of jealousy.

Last year, when I had lots of friends celebrating their 21st birthday, I saw a lot of them, those who were attached had a boyfriend around to help plan the whole party, help organise everyone, double up as the resident photographer, basically just do all the shit work of the party to let the birthday girl glow in her mature charm. I still remember the strong pangs of feelings I had then whenever I saw this kind of scene, there's this strong pang of how I wish I had a boyfriend too. Because that feeling is not based on love, I put it as jealousy and envy.

My birthday party wasn't too bad itself. I had friends. But the thing was that because I had different groups of friends, each group thought another group was to stay with me overnight and it turned out that nobody was staying with me overnight. It wasn't that bad because I was tired out and my family was coming in early the next day and I'm a person who enjoys solititute, but still, I wished that there was somebody beside me for me to cuddle up with. No, that's still not love, not lust even, it's more like possessiveness, and that's where the jealousy and envy come in again.

I still feel a tinge of envy when I'm alone and see a scene of lovey dovey couple, but the feelings is less strong. Maybe only on days when I'm feeling frustrated and need someone by my side but there's no one around. But then that's not love either. So what is this elusive thing called love?

Maybe I'm too immuned to love that I can't really feel love.
Maybe I just want to have my day of fun.

Then another thing I want to talk about is the amount of public display of affection that one can tolerate doing and watching. For me, I'm generally quite open about such stuff, as long as there's no nudity, and no sex of any kind involved, I can accept almost anything else. I think there need to be at least some sort of decency, but well, like you watch movies and TV programmes, there's a lot more affection in those other arenas.

But I'm totally fine with kissing and hugging. Maybe also I'm quite accustomed to the Western kind of lifestyle in the streets where kissing and hugging are the norm. I think kissing and hugging especially at train stations very touching. I try not to think of people straying, so what remains is the pure affection between the couples about to part.

I don't understand why some people are turned off by PDAs. I'd only think that the only thing dislikeable about it is the amount of jealousy and envy it can incur. hahaha~