Retreat

燕尾蝶

兴高采烈的破蛹 华丽新生的冲动 寻找灿烂 禁地 美梦
主宰爱情的是谁 奋不顾身的扑火 就算轮回 只为 衬托

你笑 你哭 你的动作 都是我的圣经 珍惜的背颂
我喜 我悲 我的生活 为你放弃自由 要 为 你 左右

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

兴高采烈的破蛹 冲破心神的冲动 寻找爱情世界 美梦
既然不是毛毛虫 就要壮烈的扑火 短短青春 要像 烟火

自生 自爱 自个挥霍 挥霍我的色采 在你 的天空
你想 你说 而要我做 其实我很快乐 全都因为

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我快乐让我痛

This is my favourite song when I go KTV cos I can wail wahahaha-aaaa, but this is also Jinwei's most hated song cos he've heard me wail many a time liao le, until everytime he sees this song in the list he'll take leave from the room and let others endure my wailing. But this is also the song that first comes into my mind when I chat with this particular angel.

Anyway, my main topic for today is my retreat.

I'll be going over to KL the next couple of days on a retreat. What I aim to achieve out of this retreat is to complete two short stories, Diamond Dog, and Violet Fate. Hopefully I can start work on my full length feature Scarlet Flight and plot the whole outline for the sequel too, Scarlet Flight--Soaring High. And also to sort out some of my crumpled up emotions and take a leaf from there and see how things go. In all, I really hope that this would be a fruitful journey.

Why did I bring up that song in the opening?

Cos I made a bet with the particular angel that if I am not able to complete both my short stories I'll have to call him angel for one whole week. And he's particularly very angelic~ oops~ But as the MTV of the song goes, the two girls are pretty screwed up themselves. They might look angelic but actually they have this devious streak in them and they are like little monsters and are really screwed.

Other than the KL retreat, I actually also have plans or a retreat within Singapore. I plan to go to this uluated area of Singapore and stay for a couple of days sipping coffee at Coffee Bean or Shakes and Smoothies at Cartel and at night retreating into this uluated non-airconditioned little shophouse. Maybe over there I can manage to finish my Scarlet Flight, then I can make use of my time to find a publisher to publish my books.

Yesterday I had this conversation with my daddie...
xxoos: I want to publish my book.
daddie: Actually, publishing a book is very easy, anyone can publish books, but it's a matter of the number of people buying your book.
xxoos: Yes, I know. I can call all my friends to buy it.
daddie: Yea... That's usually what people do. They get all the family, relatives and friends to buy their book after they publish it.

Then he went into this story about his Chinese teacher back in dunno when forced the whole class to buy his book, my dad didn't want to buy that book, but he had to give his teacher face. he bought the book but never read it. Then he said to me...
daddie: Yea... A lot of people will entertain you and buy your book but your book will end up at the back of their bookshelves untouched.
xxoos: Bleahz... How you know my book won't sell? Maybe I will become famous one day.

My mummie's take on me becoming a writer?
She thinks that all writers, especially female writers are pretty screwed up, think Sylvia Plath... Think Virginia Woolf...
And I can't say her worries are unfounded...

Suddenly I thought of that song again, 让我短暂快乐很感动... It's like fireworks, so short so beautiful of the sparks of the brightness of the burst of life. I think that's all I want of life. As long as I have enough happy moments or in my analogy "Himalayas", I think I can just keep the down moments, "Marianas". Maybe, maybe, just saying the big maybe, that I might be suffering from the same sort of illness that plagued Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. Will I end up the same fate as them?

兴高采烈的破蛹 华丽新生的冲动 寻找灿烂 禁地 美梦
主宰爱情的是谁 奋不顾身的扑火 就算轮回 只为 衬托

你笑 你哭 你的动作 都是我的圣经 珍惜的背颂
我喜 我悲 我的生活 为你放弃自由 要 为 你 左右

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

兴高采烈的破蛹 冲破心神的冲动 寻找爱情世界 美梦
既然不是毛毛虫 就要壮烈的扑火 短短青春 要像 烟火

自生 自爱 自个挥霍 挥霍我的色采 在你 的天空
你想 你说 而要我做 其实我很快乐 全都因为

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我快乐让我痛

Call me 燕尾蝶 ba... And I'll tell you the answer.

PS: Someone will scold me again. Say me keep kena affected by songs, movies, plays and whatsoevers. But that's me mah... *sigh* What can I do about it?