Remember http://jal4eva.blogspot.com/2006/03/blog-post_16.html? Well, I think I know where I got that inspiration from. From this wuxia novel called 《云海玉弓缘》 by 梁羽生. The protangonist was caught up between two women, one was a 正派 the other was a 邪派, both loved him, but he thought he loved the former more. In the end, after a lot of problems, the latter died party because of suicide, partly because of herself, partly because of him. Then after she died, he realised that actually, in fact, he did love her too. And because of her death, he left the former.
Death can be a tool too.
I take bus to and from school. The route of my bus is such that I'd pass by 4's house (house as in the Singapore meaning of house, not really a house house). It is bad enough that I'd have to pass by 4's house twice everytime I go to school. Fate's playing such a big joke on me that now the stretch of road just after 4's house is close for works on the Circle Line. Damn the Circle Line! Now, the bus actually goes around 4's house, from the back, then the side then go on the the front of the house giving me a full view of everything. Instinctively, I'd turn my head up and look, and try and guess which is his house and see if I can see anything inside.
I thought she was pregnant with Haru's child, but actually she isn't pregnant at all. I guess I just thought too much. After seeing a couple of scenes of them making out I just guessed that she was pregnant, that's a bit too stretching even by my standards. Anyway, I think she's now left the country, possibly to rehabilitate, and I guess Haru will follow her there soon, to take care of her or something, after all even if she isn't pregnant, she does have stomach ulcers.
Of course, knowing my mistake, the first thing I did was to share the information with some people, namely 3 and 5, hoping that they might be able to give me some insights, and also provide me some support to counter my stupidity.
Some time ago, I wrote this piece http://jal4eva.blogspot.com/2005/12/full-circle.html. But I've gained some new insights to this whole matter. Maybe it's better not to have a closure. Well, of course that said person would say that it's better not to have a closure after all it's to his benefit, but for all not to have a closure would be a bit different. Each and Every is (or is it are?) different
Well, I've seen through it almost. People can preach but not act. Everyone think that what they do is ultimately correct and the best for others, and they go about saying that what others are doing is wrong and they should not be doing that at all, but turn tables around, actually everyone is doing the same thing, everyone's making the same mistakes. I must try to keep my ground, keep my determinations level up and hopefully I can tide through this difficult period and before I know it, it'll be over, even without need to reach the starting point, a square might look good on me.
I don't know how can one change so quickly. Yesterday was such an interesting day, I met two interesting people who lit up my dull life and I thought suddenly I did have a life, but things turned out pretty badly, today was not so good. I think this is an after effect of reading too much. I've downloaded two wuxia novels to read, but I think I might only read one of them. Actually I've read both before, even the 《云海玉弓缘》 I was talking before, these are all books I've read before, just wanted to reread them.
The thing about Liang Yusheng's novels is that he reuses characters. The protagonists of one book will be reused as some small character in another book and that character often won't be shown in the same favourable light. Well, in life it's the same thing, some people under different circumstances might be seen differently. Sometimes I might like that person, some times not, depending on the context of where the character appears. And also the comparison of the characters to other characters.
My tuition girl's father drives a BMW630i, I saw it last week when her mother took that to pick her up. I thought about 4. Gone are the days of fast cars and my 645Ci, now everything's so subdued. Hey...
Postscript: If you don't understand what's written in here, it's normal. I don't think I meant anyone other than myself to understand all the connotations I'm writing here today. Must be the weather. I promise I'll do up a decent post after my this bout of emo. I've got some material with me but too tired and drained to blog about that. But then again, maybe that what I want to blog about might not be that interesting to most people around here.