Monday, March 06, 2006

The Fragilities of Human Relationships


They were once a pair of close friends, knowing almost everything of each other. But everything changed over a single night. What prompted that change? What estranged them? Nothing more than a series of misunderstandings.

What sort of misunderstanding would estranged them, from once being so close? No one knows. Sometimes, you think you can trust a person wholly, and be friends for life, just because you know the other party understands, but in fact, you really don't know. Yes, in some ways you might be able to trust that friend, but if over a slightest matter of misunderstanding that was not going to be resolved, what's up next?

If two estranged friends meet, maybe along the road, what would happen? There was but a sense of non-recognition. Once friends who poured secrets to each other have become stragers who do not even bother smiling at each other. Not a friend, not an aquiantance, not even anybody they know.

散了吧 認了吧 算了吧 放了吧
該原諒 該瀟灑 別回想 別留下

*I'm thinking, should I write it in first person's view, or third person's. I hate times like this.*

I still remember the night very clearly. In fact, I remember everything. I even remembered what happened before. It was another emo night, a night I didn't want to have chatted with the friend because I was really tired. When I'm tired and can't get high, I get irritable easily, so usually I refrain from talking to anyone at nights like these, but that friend said until 1.20. I was hoping, maybe a little easing up of my mind would do me better, on hindsight, I guess that was bullshit.

Indignantly, I think, it was not even me who wanted to start on that topic, so why should I be blamed? Of course, life doesn't work like this.

The day after was a worse day emotionally than before. I ran into problems only my friends would understand, but I had now one friend less. This made me wonder, what is a friend. Is that friend really a friend? When the simplest of all understanding was no being able to reach, to not want to reconcile even though I tried to apologise. I didn;t really want to do anything after that. What more can I do without getting snubbed? I can't always be that much of a masochist, can I? Please save me some dignity.


I tried very hard to block everything out of my mind. Every day I tell myself if things were meant to be so, why should I even bother thinking about it, but this Joan is the same Joan who spent weeks getting upset of betrayals by close friends, so why this act of breaking of trust who differ?



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