More Blushes, And My Inadequacies

It wasn't too long ago that it happened that last time. It's all chronicled here, and well, sad to say, it's becoming a norm for Joan.

I'm bad at faces, names, remembering people, recognising people, all this coupled with my total lack of social skills and my brain not working, I made another boohoo last night. I really don't know why, but in drama, I can do improvisation perfectly all right, but remove me from that setting I cannot come up with any good come back lines, unless it's a pick up line before. I'm so good at retorting bad pick up lines, but if it's a normal conversation, or a "you don't remember me" line, I'm at a total lost.

Just for little fun facts, my most most favourite come back line to a damn stupid pick up line is as such:
him: 小姐，一个人吗？(Miss, are you alone?)
me: 你看不到我旁边的那个人吗？(Can't you see the person beside me?)
Do not attempt this during the seventh month though.

Okay, I've successfully went totally off course from the topic at hand today, what happened yesterday night?

I was alone after the Chinese Drama Performance, which disappointed me quite a bit. I wanted to leave early, so I left straight after and did not mingle with the rest of them. I did not want to see her. Oh well... Since I left early, I was alone. It's not anything bad being alone, nor anything different since I go to school and go home alone every single day. Anyway, the point is that I'm alone at 9.30pm in Kent Ridge Terminal. I'd like to be alone.

Usually the trick is that I'd not look into the eyes of anyone and nobody will look at me, and nobody will come and talk to me. I tried that last night when I saw a seemingly familiar face. I tried to get engrossed in my handphone although I had nothing to do with it. I don't know why, but I reactively lifted my head. Big Mistake. That face looked towards my direction. Our eyes very briefly met. I panicked and instintively looked away.

I think my body actions showed very clearly that I can't remember who that person is although I find him familiar and I think some of my body actions was telling him to go away and ignore me. But he turned and walked towards my direction. Oh my god... I almost freaked out from fright and panic. In my fright, I hastily mumbled a "hello" with almost no feelings at all. Usually at this case, a wave and a "hi" would be adequate as a reply, right? I hoped it was.

Instead, he walked towards me. I think he could tell that I can't remember him, so he asked me "You don't remember me right?" I was so damn paiseh. I was like shouting out "of course" in my mind, but that's so rude so I think I mumbled something like he was "familiar" so something like that. My mind was so totally not in use that I don't even know what I said.

Thankfully, I think he felt that I was indeed very piseh enough for him to spare me from further agony. He then launched a series of questions hoping to remind me of who he was.
him: You remember when you were in year 1?
me: Wah... That was so long ago.
him: You remember there's the Arts Camp?
me: Yea?
him: The SP thing. Your date wasn't there, then I had to blah blah blah...
Yea... I remembered la... He was my replacement SP during the Arts Camp SP Night.

Actually, I think just as he was walking over to me the very first time, I remembered but I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to paiseh myself or him if I'd guessed wrongly, or remembered wrongly or mixed people up.

But it was not that bad once I've got the hang of conversing, and we did exchange a couple of updates. Still, never was I so relieved to see my bus arriving. Not that I don't like that senior, it's just that I think once we've run out of topics after the "how've you been", "how's school now", there'd be an awkward pause. I know something like this will happen. I've been in such situations so often that I know. Oh well... But it's not too bad ba... At least if I ever met him again I think I won't panic again. erm... At least for the next couple of weeks or as long as my puny brain serves me, I hope.

Should I talk a bit about that senior? Yea... Now that I remembered, he was a senior, one year above me, Arts Fac one. Of course what, Arts Camp, so must be from Arts what. He was a senior because my SP for some reason I cannot remember was not there, and to make up numbers, some seniors were made to be replacement SPs, and I got one of those replacement ones. Not that my SP was faulty and I needed a replacement. diaoz... I'm so lame that I cannot walk now.

Let me see what can I remember of him... I can't even remember his name. omg... Think it's Gerald or Jerald, or Jer-something, I think. If he hadn't changed his major, probably political science? Or is it history? Or economics? He's a year older, so probably doing honours now... hmm... Don't think I actually remember much now to think of it.

Ah well, human-human interaction is this interesting. You meet someone new one day but never meet again. Then out of the blue you meet that person again. And so many other kinds of meeting people around. But then hor... I think I still prefer not to want to put myself in such awkward situations again. It's so scary.

Next time, if anyone sees me, and I look like I don't recognise or remember you, hmm... I don't know how to lessen the awkwardness leh... If I call you to ignore me like I damn dao like that, right? I guess, try not to ask me if I remember you or not ba... Just ask those usual "how are you", then in between conversations, I probably can remember you, I hope.

At least, for this occasion, and this other occasion, I did know who those people were just that I was't sure and I didn't want anybody to feel paiseh.