This is back by popular demand, and also because of neverending supply.
Because my father doesn't stay with us.
Sister: Later I want to call daddie.
Me: Then you pass the phone to me after you're done.
Sister: You call him yourself lah.
Me: Don't need la, you call him then I shun bian lah.
Sister: You want to call him for what?
Me: I want to talk to him lah, duh...
This is between me and my mother regarding my sister.
Me: What time is your daughter coming home? Is she having dinner at home?
Mother: Don't know leh. You call her lah.
Me: Why me? You're her mother, you should call her.
Mother: You're her sister, you should be concerned about your sister.
In the end, neither of us called her.
Me: I'm so screwed, I've got exams tomorrow.
Sister: I got maths test tomorrow. I'm at page 4, and there's still one whole stack of notes over there. What are you studying?
Me: Forensic Science.
Sister: You can do forensic science? Not just your European Studies stuff...
Me: Ya, we need to go cross faculty and GEMs.
Sister: So if I do maths, I can do forensic science also.
Me: Maths would be under the faculty of science, you cannot do forensic science as cross faculty module.
Sister: Medicine leh? Or those pharmacualtical stuff?
Me: I don't think you can cross fac anything from medicine, pharmacy is part of faculty of science.
Sister: Law leh?
Me: Law can.
Sister: Eh, no!!! I'm not going to NUS, I'm going to Cambridge to study. What nonsense am I talking about!
For those who don't catch the joke, for the past few days my sister has been harping on wanting to go to Cambridge to study. How she's going to pay for it is another matter altogether.
This the funniest one yet involving both my mother and my sister.
My sister went to bang on my mother's door.
Mother: (condescending tone) What? What?
Sister: Help me make Ribena!
Me: Can't you make yourself?
Sister: I don't know how.
Mother: So late already haven't sleep yet?
Sister: I don't want talk to you. lalala~ I not hearing anything.
Me: (to my mother) She's the one who's asking a favour lor.
Mother: Yalor. Always like that one.
Sister: (to me) Why are you helping her?
Mother: (to me) You want breakfast tomorrow anot?
Me: Don't want.
Sister: (to mother) What am I having for breakfast tomorrow?
Me: I thought you don't want to talk to your mother?
Sister: Sheesh... Stop helping her.
Mother: (to me) Then you want birds' nest anot?
Me: I want.
Sister: How come I don't have?
Mother: I thought you not talking to me? So late haven't sleep, you want tomorrow go to school and sleep in school again is it? At night don't want to sleep... (went on with more nagging)
Note: I get the birds' nest because I was supposed to have it yesterday but was too full so I declined. And I get to have it because I'm having my exams. My mother always gives the ones having exams more 'tonic' even though I don't see how birds' nest can help me remember more stuff.
This is a conversation I had with the father regarding the sister.
Me: Where are we going to eat?
Father: Dunno where that girl says she want to go.
Me: Kenny Rogers right?
Father: At Suntec...
Me: But now 9pm already leh, by the time we go back home then go Suntec already very late. Why don't we go Parkway instead?
Father: You think she'd choose Suntec because of the food meh? Sure got other motives one. Later will say walk here, or walk there, then thise very nice, that very nice.
Me: Oh yar hor! Today's friday, got midnight shopping!
After a hearty meal at Swensons which saw my whole family being overfed, the sister decides to order Topless Five, five scoops of ice cream. This sister chose five weird flavours that only she would eat.
Father: Wah, all these what flavours one? Only got one (chocolate) for us to eat is it?
Sister: I ask you all what flavours you one you never answer me.
My dad went on to give out the spoons to all of us. I declined, then he passed one to my mother.
Mother: (in cantonese) 看她怎样吃着去。
I was lying in my room when I heard my sister outside so I called for her, but she didn't reply me. After about 5min, she MSN-ed me.
Sister: did you call me just now?
Me: Ya... Help me pour a cup of water.
Sister: Call mum to help you. It's out of the way for me to go to the kitchen.
Then my mum came in to ask me about something else.
Sister: (shouting from her room) I also want.
Mother: Want what?
Me: Help me pour a cup of water.
Sister: I also want a cup of water.
Mother: Two lazy pigs.
That's it for now, I'll try and collect more stupid tales from the family and share another time~