An open letter to the guy who propositioned me
I’m sorry it took me this long to decide to pen such an open letter to you. I know that there’s a high chance that you’d get to read it here, hence this open letter. Ya, I do feel a bit awkward if I were to write a letter, or even to answer to you directly. Maybe it’s your possible response that I fear.
Let’s just put it this way simply, I’m not new to propositions, in fact, I think I get more propositions than date requests. Okay, maybe not in the recent terms since I’ve backed out of the field after the rough patch fiasco. To put things bluntly, every guy who propositioned me had more things to offer than you did, but I went along and humoured you because I treated you as a friend. And I really value your friendship. I hope this matter didn’t get too out of hand because I really do want to retain your friendship.
To be very honest, right from the very start, I had already known that I wouldn’t honour this proposition. For this matter of fact, I’m really sorry if I’d got your hopes up. Or maybe, somewhere deep inside you, you’d already known that I’d disappoint. Even though I wouldn’t agree to partake in the proposition, I do hope that one day we can go out and have coffee or something. Friends mah~
Maybe if things were to happen when I was younger, more lost, and more restless, things might be different. But now that I’m older, more matured, and I can feel my biological clock ticking down, such superficial excitement doesn’t strike a chord in me. There’s also no need for me to explore anything, or want to find out anything more now that I’m wiser, and perhaps a bit more experienced. Maybe that’s what you’re looking for at this moment. I’m really sorry, what we both are seeking at this present moment seems to be totally different.
I know you’re a commitment phobic, and I told you I was too. Indeed I was, but now that I feel the darned biological clock ticking down, and also now that I’ve been through and finally got over the rough patch, the mentality is somewhat different from before. If there’s one thing that I should thank RP for is that from that experience I realised that what I want most from a guy is a sense of security. Stability and security. I need to settle down, before time falls harshly upon me, I don’t really have much time left of the shelf. Commitment doesn’t seem to be that scary after all, if there can be a person I can rely on.
As I once said guy have a longer shelf life than the female counterparts, there isn’t a pressing need for you to settle down as yet, but I seriously think that you need that special someone to rein you in, and perhaps satisfy some of your deprivations. Ya, but if you think you still do not want to commit, then just ignore my advice ba. Ultimately, it’s still your life, you make the decisions, you live as you like it. Just as long as there’d be no regrets when you look back at your life some time down the road.
Have fun, stay well, and don’t break too many girls’ hearts~ hahaha... And more importantly, good luck for the examinations. Yup, don't worry too much about the unimportant stuff, just put your whole heart and soul into the finals.