So This Is How It Feels...

Being alone, at home, the whole day, with only the TV, notes, and laptop for company.
Even the parents didn't wish me happy birthday, neither did the sister, though she did gave me the present already, but still...
Friends? What friends? Okay, but I can't blame them since I'm not the kind of person who remembers everyone's birthdays.

Okay, none of all those above really matters as much as what I'm upset about.

I miss him. I really do. It always seems like the same one month cycle when my missing him coincides with PMS. And while last month he was away, this month too. Even though he said he'd be back tomorrow, earlier than what he told me before he left, it just seems to have created more problems for me to ponder over. Why is he coming back so early? Did something happen? Or did he lie to me in the first place?

Then there's the problem about tomorrow. I don't know if I should hope so much, and be disappointed. This won't be the first anyway, but I can't help from wanting to hope, and I can't seem to block out my disappointment. I hate myself.

Growing older, growing tired, growing jaded, growing disillusioned.
When can I finally leave your clutches?
When can I finally stand up on my own feet and say goodbye to the past?

When can I call you by your name?