Post Christmas Thoughts

I was browsing through blogs and every single one of them blogged about Christmas, then I skipped over to my blog and saw that on 25 December 2005, 9.44pm, I blogged about my upcoming KL retreat. Nothing about Christmas. Nothing at all.

Then I thought about what I did this Christmas. On Christmas eve, I stayed at home to email out Christmas cards. Okay, before I emailled them out I had to actually do them. I took out my Photoshop and pieced together cards, I did 4 designs and randomly sent them out to 50 addresses including 2 yahoogroups, so more than 300 people received my cards, but the point is that although I did send out cards to many a long lost friends, I also became lazier and more reluctant too send out cards as I went down my address book alphabetically.

On Christmas day I went for a family party. That's it.

This year's Christmas took me by surprise, maybe because I was busy and the year seemed to have went by that quickly. I was talking to a friend on the 23 December. She asked if I wanted to watch Narnia. I said Narnia was only going to be out on 22 December. She gave me a reality check, "it's already 23 December, girl", shocked... Yes, I'm that out of touch with time and dates.

I went over to KL and I'm back. I didn't roam any further than Berjaya Times Square, except for my full circle. People who have been noting down my MSN nicks would have noted that "full circle" and a corresponding picture was up, I blogged about it some time back, scroll down to see, I'm not putting a link, neither am I putting up the picture again, I'm now restricted from posting pictures cos I got loads of complains that my blog is taking ages to load, so bear with me for a while. Back to my full circle. Have I went one round? Or more than one round I have gone? I have no idea. I was talking to a friend, we concluded that knowing too much is not a good thing after all.

Ignorance is bliss.

Regarding my retreat, I've only managed to complete one short play and two more paragraphs for one short story so it means that I've failed. According to my bet with the angel, I have to call him angel for one whole wek, but upon negotiations last night, I've put up a picture of a man utd crest and the words "angel says man utd is the best". Yea... Angel says, not xxoos says (xxoos say? Grammatically is xxoos singular or plural? hmm...) I didnt stay up till the end of the match, I think I stayed till like 75 min into both games when I really cmi-ed. BUT I SHOULD HAVE STAYED UP TO SEE MAN UTD DRAW AND CHELSEA WIN!!! That would have been so good to niao the angel, especially after me having to put up that nick for one week. hai...

I have two things I want to post about, complete with no pictures but I'm feeling very dry, I've been like so dry lately, so I don't know when I might be able to post them. Maybe this calls for me to go on another retreat.

My Christmas wish?
Full circle.

I went sing K last night straight after I reached Singapore. With this friend, a lot of stuff came up to my mind again. Let me post up some lyrics from songs I sang last night...

寒风吹起 细雨迷离 风雨揭开我的记忆
我像小船 寻找港湾 不能把你忘记
爱的希望 爱的回味 爱的往事难以追忆
风中花蕊 深怕枯萎 我愿为你祝福

我爱你 我心已属于你 今生今世不移
在我心中 再没有谁 代替你的地位
我爱你 对你付出真意 不会漂浮不定
你要为我 再想一想 我决定爱你一万年

This is the first time I sang this song in KTV. I've wrote before why this song really touches me, I'm not going to delve into it again, either you know it or you don't I don't really care that much now anyway. But the irony of this song, and of Wubai, is that straight after this song, my dear friend unconsciously dedicated the following song...

不要再想你 不要再爱你
让时间悄悄的飞逝 抹去我俩的回忆
对于你的名字 从今不会再提起
不再让悲伤 将我心占据

让它随风去 让它无痕迹
所有快乐悲伤所有过去 通通都抛去
心中想的念的盼的望的 不会再是你
不愿再承受 要把你忘记

我会擦去我不小心滴下的泪水
还会装做一切都无所谓
将你和我的爱情全部敲碎
再将它通通赶出我受伤的心扉

不愿再承受 我把你忘记
你会看见的 把你忘记

我想到了一个忘记温柔的你的方法:
我不要再想你 不要再爱你
不会再提起
我的生命中 不曾有你

It's so ironic, after saying 我决定爱你一万年, have to say 我的生命中 不曾有你.
damn... I just ruined a nice day all by myself... And I didn't drink last night... hai...

Retreat

燕尾蝶

兴高采烈的破蛹 华丽新生的冲动 寻找灿烂 禁地 美梦
主宰爱情的是谁 奋不顾身的扑火 就算轮回 只为 衬托

你笑 你哭 你的动作 都是我的圣经 珍惜的背颂
我喜 我悲 我的生活 为你放弃自由 要 为 你 左右

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

兴高采烈的破蛹 冲破心神的冲动 寻找爱情世界 美梦
既然不是毛毛虫 就要壮烈的扑火 短短青春 要像 烟火

自生 自爱 自个挥霍 挥霍我的色采 在你 的天空
你想 你说 而要我做 其实我很快乐 全都因为

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我快乐让我痛

This is my favourite song when I go KTV cos I can wail wahahaha-aaaa, but this is also Jinwei's most hated song cos he've heard me wail many a time liao le, until everytime he sees this song in the list he'll take leave from the room and let others endure my wailing. But this is also the song that first comes into my mind when I chat with this particular angel.

Anyway, my main topic for today is my retreat.

I'll be going over to KL the next couple of days on a retreat. What I aim to achieve out of this retreat is to complete two short stories, Diamond Dog, and Violet Fate. Hopefully I can start work on my full length feature Scarlet Flight and plot the whole outline for the sequel too, Scarlet Flight--Soaring High. And also to sort out some of my crumpled up emotions and take a leaf from there and see how things go. In all, I really hope that this would be a fruitful journey.

Why did I bring up that song in the opening?

Cos I made a bet with the particular angel that if I am not able to complete both my short stories I'll have to call him angel for one whole week. And he's particularly very angelic~ oops~ But as the MTV of the song goes, the two girls are pretty screwed up themselves. They might look angelic but actually they have this devious streak in them and they are like little monsters and are really screwed.

Other than the KL retreat, I actually also have plans or a retreat within Singapore. I plan to go to this uluated area of Singapore and stay for a couple of days sipping coffee at Coffee Bean or Shakes and Smoothies at Cartel and at night retreating into this uluated non-airconditioned little shophouse. Maybe over there I can manage to finish my Scarlet Flight, then I can make use of my time to find a publisher to publish my books.

Yesterday I had this conversation with my daddie...
xxoos: I want to publish my book.
daddie: Actually, publishing a book is very easy, anyone can publish books, but it's a matter of the number of people buying your book.
xxoos: Yes, I know. I can call all my friends to buy it.
daddie: Yea... That's usually what people do. They get all the family, relatives and friends to buy their book after they publish it.

Then he went into this story about his Chinese teacher back in dunno when forced the whole class to buy his book, my dad didn't want to buy that book, but he had to give his teacher face. he bought the book but never read it. Then he said to me...
daddie: Yea... A lot of people will entertain you and buy your book but your book will end up at the back of their bookshelves untouched.
xxoos: Bleahz... How you know my book won't sell? Maybe I will become famous one day.

My mummie's take on me becoming a writer?
She thinks that all writers, especially female writers are pretty screwed up, think Sylvia Plath... Think Virginia Woolf...
And I can't say her worries are unfounded...

Suddenly I thought of that song again, 让我短暂快乐很感动... It's like fireworks, so short so beautiful of the sparks of the brightness of the burst of life. I think that's all I want of life. As long as I have enough happy moments or in my analogy "Himalayas", I think I can just keep the down moments, "Marianas". Maybe, maybe, just saying the big maybe, that I might be suffering from the same sort of illness that plagued Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. Will I end up the same fate as them?

兴高采烈的破蛹 华丽新生的冲动 寻找灿烂 禁地 美梦
主宰爱情的是谁 奋不顾身的扑火 就算轮回 只为 衬托

你笑 你哭 你的动作 都是我的圣经 珍惜的背颂
我喜 我悲 我的生活 为你放弃自由 要 为 你 左右

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

兴高采烈的破蛹 冲破心神的冲动 寻找爱情世界 美梦
既然不是毛毛虫 就要壮烈的扑火 短短青春 要像 烟火

自生 自爱 自个挥霍 挥霍我的色采 在你 的天空
你想 你说 而要我做 其实我很快乐 全都因为

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我短暂快乐很感动

你是火 你是风 你是织网的恶魔
破碎的 燕尾蝶 太多最后的美梦
你是火 你是风 你是天使的诱惑
让我做 燕尾蝶 拥抱最后的美梦

让我快乐让我痛

Call me 燕尾蝶 ba... And I'll tell you the answer.

PS: Someone will scold me again. Say me keep kena affected by songs, movies, plays and whatsoevers. But that's me mah... *sigh* What can I do about it?

Where Has xxoos Been?

Recently quite a couple of barflies have asked me why haven't I been in the bar lately, I guess this calls for me to devote an entire entry about me describing my present situation. I shall do it without the photos, something that seems to be customary in my recent posts. People have been also complaining that my blog is taking ages to load, so I guess I should ease up the photos for a while.

I have been doing a review on my life lately, trying to figure out what is missing in my life, and during this period of time, I tried to keep myself busy, busy by going out with my friends, busy by doing loads of shopping, and busy with my Chinese Drama. This leaves myself little time to hang out in the bar, and less time even to read blogs. I haven't been reading anyblogs lately other than my own one just to make sure that my photos are coming out nicely. I'm also doing much chatting with friends online, and trying to sleep early, sounds like a weird combination, but I'm trying to fit all these in.

I shall start by talking about my Chinese Drama.

We recently held a scriptwriting competition, and last Sunday, we held the prize giving ceremony for that competition. I was sick during the beginning preparations of the ceremony so I skipped trying out for acting and script reading, instead I opted to do lights, also to practice for my role for the February production. Also we had a camp which I only went for half the duration, I skipped camp with a couple of mates to have a little fun, I got a bit tipsy with a fast friend after a night of downing. Back to the scriptwriting ceremony, it was a success, a big success, I'm really happy of what I achieved.

I went for another camp, the *ding-ding* camp. I played bridge, mahjong, the whole night, skipped the day parts of the camp, came back at night for the Christmas party, and had a sharing session which I got to know everyone better, only that I fell asleep halfway throughout, I'm feeling pretty apologetic about that.

I have also been doing a whole lot of shopping, buying clothes and stuff, today I went shopping again and I got myself presents for friends and a pair of heels for myself. Heels by Havianas~ I know I swear by my Birkenstocks but next up against Birks are Havianas so I just couldn't resist them. I've been looking for a good pair of walking heels for the longest time already so I couldn't pass on this chance. I really enjoyed shopping with my sister and my cousin, I think we just complement each other so much that we took to spending enough money to feed an Ethopian town for an entire month. I also found another shopping buddy in a junior from my Chinese Drama. It was great fun taking the streets.

I also went for two high teas. One at Hyatt and another at Park Royal, one with my aunt and sister and cousin, the other with the girls. The food at Hyatt was totally amazing, I couldn't resist the smoked salmon and prawn salad and ate enough to bankrupt Hyatt if I ate that every day, the desserts at Park Royal was totally fabulous, coming from someone who don't have a sweet tooth. And being out with the girls is always so so much fun. We took a whole whole lot of pictures, all of us~

And we also had another outing a couple of days before, we went cycling, I blogged about that too earlier, but I must further comment about it. We now are starting this string of photos taken during outings, we are calling it our signature shot, a picture taken by ourselves with a hand held camera trying to fit all our heads inside. Now our record, 9 heads in one picture, all the girls except for Hamidah who wasn't there and Shuhui's sister, Shuyi who joined us for high tea that day. Looking back at our old photos, we took that in out cycling outing and our Parkway outing quite some time ago.

During this period of time, boh my favourite reality programmes have ended their run, without disappointing results. Danni won Survivor against Stephenie. I was rooting for Gary but Danni's a nice girl too, I don't mind her winning, I was starting to find Rafe a little irritating and was so glad that he was out. The Linzes took home the million dollars in The Amazing Race. Anyone other than the Weavers would be a great win. But the ending of these also means that I've nothing more in the google box to look forward to anymore. Maybe, I shall entertain myself with the Battle of the Network Reality TV Stars... wahaha~ I'm rooting for the team with Jonathan in it. I still love Jonathan and Victoria~

On a side note, I missed going out with certain period these couple of days. I'm still trying to find the end of the circle, I'm still reflecting with myself, so I guess I'll hold out for a couple more days and maybe weeks. Next Monday I'll be leaving for KL, I'm not so sure how things might turn out there, but hopefully I can find the end of my full circle, and return here a happy girl. Still thinking, should I ask permission before hand? hai...

I got my results yesterday. I was expectedly cannot make it. Luckily I still have yet gotten anything lower than a C grade and my CAP is still above 3.0 so I'll still be heading for World Cup 2006 Germany. Wait... I'm supposed to be going to Germany to study not to watch football. lol~ I did unexpectedly well for my Comparative European Nationalisms. An said that she was disappointed with my essay, on top of me submitting it late, I thought that I'd fail that module even thought I knew that I did well for my daily work and I thought I could ace through the exam paper, so I'm pretty happy with myself with that average grade. I also did well for Film and History. I thought that with the bell curve and me doing average for everything I was going to get an average grade, but I actually managed to snag an A-, I wonder how did I get that... My German was a tad lower than I expected, but well, things are getting tougher. Western Political Thought was totally unexpected. I never thought what was I getting cos I didn't collect my essay, I have no idea what grade was my essay and I knew that I was totally awful for my compulsory question, so I didn't dare predict my grade. Total War was totally within my prediction. My essay, my project, my daily work, and my exam all was the same score. Okay, I only know the grades for the first two, but I guess that the latter two should be that grade cos after the exam I walked out telling Yanwei that that B was safely in my bag. hehehe~

This opens up to my next semester... I'll have to do, according to my LPP stipulation, German for Academic Purpose, then that leaves four other modules for me to take. Looking back at my http://jal4eva.blogspot.com/2005/10/module-planning.html, I'll be doing
- Empires, Colonies and Imperialism
- Cold War in Europe
- Memory, Heritage and History
And I found a more interesting module to do...
- EU and ASEAN
Anybody want to do any module with me? Please somebody say yes~ hehehe...

Reflections

I still can't seem to find myself. I can get high easily, but I can fall as low as easily. I think I fear. The more I write the more I fall into something unknown, the more I go out to have fun the more easily I get as low. I'm thinking to go for a retreat, to someplace without internet connection, without transportation lines, preferably without mobile service connection.

My recent most dreaded word, "Hey". I don't know how to react to it.
My recent most dreaded quote, "carp diem quam minimum credula postero". I want to yet I am unable to react to it.
My only solace? sdb... Thank you very much.











I took this set of photos at one of my lowest points, before I flew, I thought I would come back to a high point, but I could only fall lower. My favourite analogy, from Himalayas to the Marianas.

I off loaded two quotes from my favourite wuxia novel, quotes which never failed to induce tears into my eyes, "见了你惹你伤心，不见你我又伤心，嗨... 你伤心不如我伤心..." and "衣带渐宽终不悔，为伊消得人憔悴...". I'm trying to use these two quotes to make me stronger, to prevent myself from falling low, but somehow, I'm starting to resent myself.

And I'm supposed to be going to KL this 26th. I don't know what to do.

Mr Undefined
Mr Swirl
Mr Subaru
miss xxoos

*sigh*

Where should I go from here?

Cycling with the Girls

I went cycling with the girls last Wednesday at East Coast Park. I did mention a bit about my accident in the last entry, so I'm not going to talk more about it. This is solely a cam whore entry with nice big head pictures of eight girls who tried to take a group photo of ourselves since everyone else at Bedok Jetty seemed to be busy with their fishes.

The end product? Pictures looking a lot similar to the old school neoprints where everybody tried to squeeze their heads in into the frame and everyone looks just damn squashed up.


In clockwise starting from the top left hand corner, Zihui, Jasmine, Hamidah, Yingling, Rozie, Shuhui, Joan, Eunice.
Joan took the photo.


The same people in the same order.
The white in the background is the clear sky, clear with white clouds. The wind was great, making our hair look nice~


Zihui, Eunice, Hamidah, Rozie, Yingling, Shuhui, Joan, Jasmine.


Jasmine, Eunice, Hamidah, Shuhui, Yingling, Zihui, Rozie, Joan, this time it was Zihui at helm with the camera.
The clear blue in the background was the sky.


Same girls.

I know we all look ugly in the photos, trust me, we are all really beautiful in real life, just that the cramping up doesn't do justice to us. hehehe~

Before I went to meet the girls I was actually contemplating on not going. I've been going through a pretty rough time and now really screwed up on my sleeping times, but I must say that I didn't regret this trip. Hanging out with the girls are always of so much fun.

Zihui, the brutally frank girl whom I can always rely on to provide us with humour and laughter with her candid remarks. She's also well inclined in sports so we can count on her to be there when we need help. When we rented bikes, the bike shop assistant also commented that she has the "dan" (receipt) face which cracked us all up.

Shuhui, Jasmine, the two girls who make the best shopping buddies. Can go shop for anything pretty with them, be it cosmetics or skin care, or fashion or well being, you can count on them giving you the right tips with fun and laughter. Me will check out Skinfoods sometime soon ba~ hahaha~

Yingling, Rozie, Eunice, the "elderlies", not elder in terms of age, but in terms of maturity. hahaha~ Yingling, the "mummy" of us, and Eunice and Rozie the big sisters who always frown upon me when me being mischievous, and always crack us up with their pseudo stern faces.

Hamidah, I think I only got to know her more and better after leaving TJ. She's the diva, the high-flying career woman yet traditional in her beliefs. Amazing~ And snagging that internship with that petroleum company, wahaha~ that's like way cool sia~

Jiadai wasn't there. Haven't seen her for a very long time. I wonder if she can make it for our next outing.

Coming up next for our next outing, High Tea~ To practise us to be future tai-tais. I can't wait to dress up and go sipping tea with the girls, think I'll be a cam whore again, but this time will make sure to get someone else to help us with the photography so that we don't need to be so pathetic anymore.

再一次挂彩

Just when I was recovering from my bruises from a month ago when I fell down in the LT, I got into another accident, rendering my legs back to its bruised state. I've got one large cut down the side of my left thigh and both my knees are scraped again. There are also a whole lot of blueblacks around.


The cut on my thigh.
I hadn't noticed I had this cut when I fell cos it was hidden under my shorts. It was only after a while when the pain of the cut was felt that i pulled up my shorts and saw the bloodied cut. Stained my shorts pretty badly too. But it didn't really hurt that much, or rather the pain of it sank it pretty retardedly.


My right knee.


My left knee.

Both my knees are now like totally cannot make it. I wanted to take those blueblacks too but they didn't show up that clearly on this lousy camera. I have other pictures from the other camera including those picture from this outing but I'll leave them to another time cos I haven't uploaded them yet.

Girls, sorry to ask you to be patient. I've been like totally busy and totally procrastinating on like everything, but I'll get them done sooner or later. *cross fingers*

So how did I get into this accident?
Take a look at this simple graphic here...

The two green poles by the side is the fencing of Bedok Jetty, this picture is the entrance towards there. The grey poles are the stone slabs thingie, don't know what you call it, pillar? I was cycling into the jetty wanting to go through vis the red arrow, but I hadn't manage to turn that acutely and went via the pink arrow hitting the second stone pole.

As you all know, the front part of a bicycle is the front wheel and wheels are made of rubber, so after hitting the pole, I bounced back and flew off the bike and fell flat on the ground over my bike. Luckily I used my hands to support myself from hurting my body, so I wasn't that badly hurt. It was quite surprising that other than the scrapes and bruises, I wasn't really hurt cos that accident was pretty bad. I was going at a rather fast speed when I rammed into that pole, but the fall seemed to me rather slow mo, so maybe that was why I was pretty protected.

Accident prone girl, maybe? hehehe~

Full Circle

I wanted to title this piece as "Closure" but I don't know what am I to write since I have no wish for a closure.

I was talking to a person the other day. He doesn't know anything about me, just by watching my body language, he seemed to be able to read my mind. He knew I was in a problem, and he advised me to find myself a closure. I know, really, I know, a closure is really something that will be very important for me to move on, but somehow, I feel as though I don't wish to move on.



It seems that I need to go a full circle before I can get the closure I need. Or do I need a closure? I'm still thinking... Where we started will be where we end, if we end. Since the said person wants an end and me don't want to end, where can I draw the circle?

This night, I came home from school at an ungodly hour. Somewhere around, three girls boarded the bus and started talking very loudly, and woke me up. I was a bit pissed off, until I heard snippets of their conversation. The words that struck me:
"VJ soccer team"
"shuai"
"Christopher Kang"
"cute"
"charismatic"
"a very nice guy"

I didn't get a closure. I just set myself down and blocked everything out. I don't know if it was effective anot, since an overheard conversation still made me think so much, but at least I'm not screwed up like then.



According to Wikipedia's entry on roses, yellow rose symbolises dying love, or platonic love. Maybe that's the kind of closure I'd need.



Should I let the flower die? Or should I turn it platonic?

Mr Swirl.

Perhaps Love 如果。爱

Perhaps Love 如果。爱
Perhaps Love
如果。爱

The first link is to the official website of the movie. It's a very beautiful site in terms of html graphics, like all "official webbies" of these days, all the flash and html funfare, very glamorous, very beautiful, but of not much use. The second link is to the so called "official webbie" in IMDb and the third is to the "official Chinese webbie" in SINA. I highly recommend the Chinese website as the saying goes, there's nothing such as piracy in China. You can find a whole lot more photos and downloads from the Chinese site.

I first heard about this movie in 8Days. The movie featured Takeshi Kaneshiro which was what got me interested. I scanned through the cast, Zhou Xun, Jacky Cheung, Ji Jin Hee, I thought that that was just another China film attempting to forge international ties with the other Eastern Asia countries. I don't really like the idea of multinational cooperation films cos of the language problem, most turn out to be overrated, but I got intrigued by this film because of Takeshi Kaneshiro.

A girl torn between two guys, the reviewer for 8Days gave a spoiler without warning by saying that "the choice is very obvious". I thought that that was a sign that this would be a simple love movie, with a happy ending, but I was pretty surprised that the film turned out to be darker than I imagined.

Next I came across this film in one of my favourite shops Popcornpop in Esplanade. I asked to see the poster for this film, wanting to purchase a big big picture of the shuai shuai Takeshi Kaneshiro to hang somewhere in my bedroom. The poster they brought in was the Taiwan version poster featuring Takeshi Kaneshiro and the back of Chinese actress Zhou Xun, Jacky Cheung was nowhere to be seen.


This was the poster they had. But I decided against buying it. Yes, the poster is nice, anything with snow as background is nice, anyone wearing red is nice, Takeshi Kaneshiro is shuai, but I thought that it was a pity that the poster only featured his side view and Zhou Xun only had her back and there was no other mention about anyone else, so I didn't want to waste the money. Besides, the director, Peter Chan, was from Hong Kong and this was mainly a mainland film so if I wanted to get the poster I should look at either the Hong Kong version or the China version, or the international version.

I did my homework and searched for other posters. And I must say that the other posters looked much nicer than the above one. hehehe~ Nicer as in it reflects the film better than the above one, but in terms of photographic and artistic value, yup, the above one is absolutely stunning.


I thought that this poster reflected the whole film better. After all the film was indeed touted as a movie musical extravaganza. Just that I thought that Takeshi Kaneshiro looked pretty nerdy in this poster and Zhou Xun and Jacky Cheung both too looked rather weird in that getup, only Ji Jin Hee looked somewhat decent, but I like the sets also featured in the poster. bah... You just can't please me.


This is my personal most favourite poster design, but I don't have a higher resolution version of this poster. I like black and white things, or in sepia cos I always feel that it's more romantic that way. Takeshi Kaneshiro also looks damn damn shuai in this poster. I just love his gaze... *swoon*


This is a tiny pic, but it's more fair to all the actors in this film. Especially underrated Ji Jin Hee.

Behind me watching this movie was a big conspiracy almost rendering me unable to watch this film. Behind the conspiracy was another conspiracy of mine, of vengence and vindictiveness, but luckily I overcame that. I like this group of people I went to watch movie with. We were so funny. Must go watch another something else the next time~

The main plot of the movie in the simplest simplest term is that boy loves girl, girl leaves boy, ends up with man, girl and boy meet again, girl torn between boy and man, her past and future. Girl wanted to be rich and famous and despised her past, she tried to find ways to forget about her past, she just wanted to move on in life, but the past kept returning to haunt. Boy was also tormented by his past, those images recurring, he started despising girl for leaving him, then he despised himself for loving girl despite her being so despicable. Man also had problems of his own, he had to come to terms with girl not loving him, him not able to produce films as he did before, him having to worry about budget, and all the other stuff in making that musical.

A little bit of spoiler, don't read this if you don't want to know what happened.

The reviewer did not actually get the ending right. This is after all an art house film open to different interpretations. You can still say that it's a happy ending, but the ending is not exactly that happy also. Everything is fraught with your own imaginations and open to different people's interretation. After all, the both of them were living their lives well enough.

I was very captivated by Zhou Xun. Thought that she was much better an actress than I thought previously.

There was a scene that struck me. In that scene Zhou Xun was wearing little to almost no make up at all, and although she didn't looks spectacular, she was still very good looking. This compared to Zhang Ziyi, I must say Zhang Ziyi really damn cmi sia. From 2046 and seeing the trailer of Memoirs of a Geisha, it's so obvious that even makeup cannot hide Zhang Ziyi's pimples, but Zhou Xun is a natural beauty.

And that guy...
In this film he takes on quite a number of images...

There is the über shuai Lin Jian Dong the Hong Kong movie star...

so shuai right?
need one more of this image... lol~

This one is a big one... ooh... I love his gaze, very intense very man very much making me melt.


Then there is this cute boyish lover guy. The character Lin Jian Dong was acting in that musical movie. Remember this is a movie in a movie movie... lol~ I like that cute page boy image. With that hat and those puppy dog eyes, he still looks like that guy I fell in love with in those 逃学威龙 series.


This is the nerdy dork of the Lin Jian Dong 10 years ago. The one who was called Lao Dong by the girl he so loved. There's still the aura around him that calls out shuai though~


The neurotic and emotionally strung up Lin Jian Dong who suffers from insomnia and goes to swim fully clothed everytime he can't sleep. I like men with issues. They are like lagi more shuai. In Lin Jian Dong's first appearance in the film, he was unshaven. I like unshaven guys, more manly and have this aura of troubleness. Did I just say I like men with issues? lol~

I didn't really like Jacky Cheung's character in this film, maybe cos of Takeshi's overpowering image. Usually I prefer the matured men, but maybe I really do prefer the men with issues rather than maturity, so it's Takeshi all the way for me. And Jacky Cheung is really over his prime already.



Ji Jin Hee, I don't really know him very well, but I thought he seemed very much understated. I didn't really think much of him, in fact I still don't have a very clear picture what he was supposed to be, but that's the art of art house flicks.

One thing I felt very much interested in the imagery of this film is the use of ice and snow. There are a couple of scenes of Lin Jian Dong and Sun Na lying on the ice or in the snow, then a couple more of them embracing in the snow. It's definitely very pretty and very poetic. And it's not just Lin Jian Dong and Sun Na, but also the characters they acted, Xiaoyi and her lover, both in the snow...









And not to forget the Taiwan poster, the one I have right up there, all embracing in the snow. I didn't really think much of the snow until one of the lines Lin Jian Dong said. "Today is 1998 June, it's snowing outside. I've become a movie star too. Hahaha..." I thought, maybe it wasn't really snowing but the snow we see is that the snow they had in their hearts and it was but an illusion.

This struck me even more when we see Lin Jian Dong and Sun Na in wanting to forget their past love, both seek solace in the hotel swimming pool.


Snow and ice are both forms of water.

The friends I went with to watch the film, one of them thought that the water scenes were cheesy and not very nice to watch, but I tought otherwise. Maybe I am a more emotional person, I see the meaning behind the use of water. maybe cos my element is also very much water so I truly appreciate and understand why it was used. When I'm down and upset, and I want to hide from people, I'd take a shower. In the shower, in the water, tears and water mix together and making me feel as though I hadn't cried at all. Maybe cos I too seek solace in water, that's why I saw the beauty in all the water scenes and the snow and ice ones too... maybe...

I told that guy, "It's because you haven't been in that sort of circumstance, haven't experienced it, that's why you cannot truly understand the beauty of a lot of things."

Sometimes, some things, you must have experience it for yourself to understand beauty. There was this line which Lin Jian Dong said that also struck a chord in me. He told Sun Na he hated sleeping cos everytime he slept he would dream of her leaving him and he really did not want to go through losing her every single night. I thought of my own sleeping problems and procrastination habits. Very very true.

For more pictures of the movie, can click here. I really must thank the Chinese for being so good pirates. My friend even managed to download the whole soundtrack to share. Yup, downloaded also from the Chinese. I also managed to download the trailer and lots of weird stuff. Totally amazing!

To end, I shall end with a couple of quotes, from the official webbie.
"忘记... 也许是一种幸福" Monty
"如果.爱 没有过去" Lin Jian Dong
"我应该忘了 我是谁" Sun Na
"男人 本该妒忌" Nie Wen

An Illuminating Chat

This is a chat log lifted directly off the window of a chat with a friend, Yanwei, as he is named himself in his nick. Everything is lifted directly off the chat window, nothing is consored. The gaps are emoticons.

I like bantering with people with ideas. Sometimes chats with some ignorant people can be horrendously meaningless, so it was indeed refreshing to chat with these kind of people once in a while. This might be a bit lengthy, but it's fun to hear differently views.

yanwei says:
hi
- xxoos - wei... says:

- xxoos - wei... says:
how does it feel like being kicked out of not only the champions league but also the uefa cup?
yanwei says:
............................................................................................
yanwei says:
bad time to message u hor.
yanwei says:
knew u will rub it in......
- xxoos - wei... says:
hehehe...
- xxoos - wei... says:
nah...
- xxoos - wei... says:
jie ai ba...
yanwei says:
yup..waiting for chelsea to join us..
yanwei says:
lol
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
15 may 2006
yanwei says:
yawnz
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
think that shd be about the date ba
yanwei says:
u wait long long
yanwei says:
champs league final rite
yanwei says:
yawnz
yanwei says:
hope they kanna barca next round
yanwei says:
or juve
yanwei says:
god bless its opponents
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
we beat barca last season
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
juve too right? cant rmb
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
bah...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
okie la, me give u credit
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
man u doing very well in the league now mah
yanwei says:
.............
yanwei says:
sounds so HOLLOW
yanwei says:
shrugz...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
they still running for the fa cup and the league cup too right?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
chelsea out of the league cup liao le leh...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so man u is good~
yanwei says:

yanwei says:
shucks.....
yanwei says:
sacarsm is the best form of insult.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
wei...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i not sacastic hor...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i'm sincere hor...
yanwei says:
eww.....
yanwei says:
hey...u sep next sem ar?
yanwei says:
i mean this coming sem.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
shd be
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
if nothing goes wrong
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but i'll still be bidding for mods this sem
yanwei says:
for?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
do for a couple of weeks before i take leave of absence
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
just in case things go wrong
yanwei says:
oh..then take asean n eu lor
yanwei says:
haha
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i put that in my mod pref exercise leh
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
might do that
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u doing that?
yanwei says:
yup..most likely...but i hate the prof teaching this..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
who?
yanwei says:
if i fared badly in his intro to ir module..then i won't take that le
yanwei says:
reuben wong
yanwei says:
this guy is damn slack..
yanwei says:
always come 15 mins late for lectures n tutorials..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
that shuai guy?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
ooh...
yanwei says:
shuai?!
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
then i shall do that
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
hahaha~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
erm... quite cute looking la...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
not as shuai as farrell
yanwei says:
wah.................
yanwei says:
YOU GOT WEIRD TASTE LEH
yanwei says:
sighz..dun like him lah
yanwei says:
exams also play stunt..
yanwei says:
the slackest ps profs i met so far..
yanwei says:
but may still take his module becos limited in variety this sem..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
anw i wont be taking his exams
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
just that for a few weeks only
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so take for fun~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
haha~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
what else u taking next sem?
yanwei says:
i taking s'pore's foreign policy, globalization n politics, n perhaps gandhi n conflict resolution....n maybe just maybe legal environment to business.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
all ps mods?
yanwei says:
nahz...3ps modules(including asean n eu)
yanwei says:
the gandhi one is a gem which i take as u/e for scoring purpose
yanwei says:
level 1000 mah
yanwei says:
then 2 level 3000 ps modules, 1 level 2000 one
yanwei says:
then 1 level 1000 breadth/gem sci to su..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
the gandhi one is simi lai eh?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
then what is the other non ps mod?
yanwei says:
looking at gandhi's philosophy lor..n the legacies he left behind on contemporary affairs..
yanwei says:
the ivle outline is still not out yet..
yanwei says:
but i dun noe much abt. gandhi but i am fascinated by him..
yanwei says:
sort of..not as much as hitler of cos.
yanwei says:
then the other one is legal environment to business
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i want to fit a three day time table
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
cos me dont want to go to sch that often
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
then i have to do all hist and eu mods cos they cost me only one point
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
ultimately i'll be dropping the mods so cannot anyhow waste my precious points
yanwei says:
......true....
yanwei says:
yup....
yanwei says:
so i may just see u if i take asean n eu bah...
yanwei says:
i giving history a break next sem.....
yanwei says:
lol
yanwei says:
not exactly if i'm studying gandhi ar..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
why do gandhi?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
dont like him
yanwei says:
but no more hy module listing for me next sem.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
he sounds very pretentious
yanwei says:
erm........
yanwei says:
why do u say that?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
do colonisation, imperialism, expansionism
yanwei says:
FARRELL
yanwei says:
eww......
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
cos he slept with his niece just to prove that a man and woman can sleep in the same bed without anything happening
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
or do singapore military history
yanwei says:
YUCKS YUCKS YUCKS
yanwei says:
no more farrell
yanwei says:
MORE
yanwei says:
i dun noe too much abt. gandhi..but i read his quotes b4..
yanwei says:
n i love his pacifist methods towards getting independence..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont like indians
yanwei says:
so yup..no harm learning more..
yanwei says:
hey..that's not nice
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i think pacifism is weak
yanwei says:
we are all humans
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
bah...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u have people whom u dont like too mah
yanwei says:
i dun like specific pple..
yanwei says:
i like all races..
yanwei says:
to say u dislike indians..
yanwei says:
is really not gd.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
indians are also specific people
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's not the race that bothers me actually
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's like i dont like ignorant people too
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
that's another specific group of people
yanwei says:
i mean specific INDIVIDUALS
yanwei says:
not groups....
yanwei says:
racial dislike is never justifiable
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
orh...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's not because of the race which i dont like
yanwei says:
then?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's just a group of people with a commanality that i do see myself liking
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
like i dont like ignorant people
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
or i dont like taxi drivers
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
of course there are some exceptions
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i have nice indian friends
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i have cute but ignorant friends
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i know of taxi drivers who dont cheat my money
yanwei says:
so pls dun make comments like i dun like indians..
yanwei says:
very sensitive.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but i still cannot see myself like them in general
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so what's wrong with me speaking my mind?
yanwei says:
sighz......freedom of speech between u n me is fine bah..
yanwei says:
just dun say it in public or in front of indians..
yanwei says:
its insensitive bah..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i always tell my indian friends that i dont like indians
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
they say as long as i like them they are fine with me not liking others
yanwei says:
sighz....but its just not nice to comment on a race in particular..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
of course i wont go up to some indian i dont know and say i dont like him/her
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's not about race
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i also go about telling everybody i hate taxi drivers who try and cheat my money
yanwei says:
which is ok....
yanwei says:
but your initial sentence abt. i dun like indians
yanwei says:
is without fair substantiation
yanwei says:
if u say u dun like indians who are ignorant
yanwei says:
maybe...yet..not gd too
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
nothing is fair in this world
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
not like ignorant because they are born so is also not fair
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but i still dont like them
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
not like taxi drivers cos they got no other choice of occupation is also not fair
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but nothing is fair
yanwei says:
sighz....okie.....personally..i just dun like any prejudice towards any race....
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's not racial prejudice
yanwei says:
i am with the thinking that we are all humans
yanwei says:
then?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's just discrimination
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
like i discriminate all taxi drivers as people who try and cheat money
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
hahaha~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's not substantiated
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but it's called generalisation
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
after seeing a few trying to cheat my money i just take it as all of them are trying to cheat my money
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
what did u last see? missed anything?
yanwei says:
erm..i didn't see anything after my reply..paiseh ar..com technical fault
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yanwei says:
then?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's just discrimination
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
like i discriminate all taxi drivers as people who try and cheat money
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
hahaha~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's not substantiated
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but it's called generalisation
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
after seeing a few trying to cheat my money i just take it as all of them are trying to cheat my money
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
what did u last see? missed anything?

- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i continue
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i know generalising is not being fair to that group of people but were they fair to me when they cheated my money? it's what they did that that shaped me to think this way
yanwei says:
sighz...that's what led to the holocaust isn't it?
yanwei says:
that's what led to the racial riots around the world too....
yanwei says:
its very dangerous to generalize race..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yes
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but they have themselves to blame, as in their own kind
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i know not all are bad, and i feel bad that they get dragged into this mess, but it's all karma la
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i think...
yanwei says:
..........................................................................................................
yanwei says:
if u were to suffer discrimination becos of a few bad pple within our race..
yanwei says:
will u feel its karma?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
it's 因果报应
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
me having to pay back
yanwei says:
can't read chinese yet..my com
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yin guo bao ying
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
karma
yanwei says:
so u really think its karma ar..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
hehehe
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yes
yanwei says:
look at it this way..we are in the majority race of cos its ez for u to say that..
yanwei says:
but once we are in the minority..
yanwei says:
it become so unfair..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
of course i wont say i wont rise against oppression
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but i'll do my best to show that i shd not be generalised
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
wel...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i tell u an experience when i was in germany
yanwei says:
why must anyone suffer this injustice at first through no fault of his/her own?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i was in germany taking photos when this group of boys shouted konichiwa at me with a snigger
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i was discriminated as a uluated jap tourist
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
one thing i did feel indigniated was that i was not japanese
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but then i fell into their category of "photo taking, uluated" people
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so actually, to them i really did deserve that snigger
yanwei says:
oh..come on...i won't like been called a cink
yanwei says:
n i hate it when pple call other races names too.....
yanwei says:
unless tongue in cheek bah......
yanwei says:
the world need to be rid of racial discrimination.....
yanwei says:
its bad enough that life is unfair.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but u are a chink so what's wrong with it?
yanwei says:
I'M T A CHINK
yanwei says:
i'm a chinese.
yanwei says:
n pls dun call japanese japs
yanwei says:
they are japanese.
yanwei says:
its only fair.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
hahaha...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i let ppl call me cheena so i dont see why i cant call japs japs
yanwei says:
sighz.....i guess this kind of perception can't change one...
yanwei says:
like how my other female friend dislike china women
yanwei says:
its deeply ingrained..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
me perceive things because of the circumstance they were in which shaped their way of thinking
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u have ur own history, others have theirs
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so everyone thinks differently
yanwei says:
but at the end of the day we need to stamp out racial discrimination n prejudice
yanwei says:
that's the bottom line.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
no
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
discrimination and prejudice will always remain
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont believe that u dont dont like a particular group of people
yanwei says:
...........
yanwei says:
...........
yanwei says:
maybe in the past bah...
yanwei says:
seriously...what really changed me was ns
yanwei says:
its where i realised how chinese can be so fucking scheming
yanwei says:
n where indians n malays can be so dependable
yanwei says:
despite our differences..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so here u are, discriminating against scheming people
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
qed
yanwei says:
that is justified....
yanwei says:
i discriminate against pple who caused harm....
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
no it's not
yanwei says:
fair enough mah......
yanwei says:
why not.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
they caused harm but they did it for a motive
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
and to them their motive justifies their actions
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
so u are being unfair to them just because they dont see things the way u do
yanwei says:
i think it justified my discrimination on various grounds-1. i did not generalize, 2. they cause harm to me
yanwei says:
isn't that fairer?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i said, nothing is fair
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yes u did generalise that scheming people are bad
yanwei says:
well..........things can be fair.......just becos they are not most of the time...doesn't mean we dun try....
yanwei says:
that's better than i dun like indians crap mah
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i have my reasons for not liking indians
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u might not see my reasons as justified but as long as i see them can liao le mah
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
cos it's me who dont like them not u
yanwei says:
that's precisely why i said this type of thinking is deeply ingrained...
yanwei says:
true lah.....
yanwei says:
i must admit to u......
yanwei says:
i got my own personal discrimination too.
yanwei says:
i really dun like to noe female e-lit majors in nus
yanwei says:
they are snobbish..as far as i noe..
yanwei says:
becos of a few experiences..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
diaoz...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
that's my whole point of argument
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u can not like them nobody can stop u
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u can say that u not like them nobody can stop u
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but likewise
yanwei says:
yup......i noe...but its just dangerous mah......RACE is not a thing to be taken lightly mah
yanwei says:
u can say china woman
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u cannot stop people from disagreeing with u
yanwei says:
fair enough
yanwei says:
taxi driver
yanwei says:
fair enough
yanwei says:
but race
yanwei says:
potential bomb sia
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont see indian as a race
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
rather as a group of people
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
like taxi drivers
yanwei says:
that's warped
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
like ignorant idiots
yanwei says:
reasoning
yanwei says:
we have got so many great indians around
yanwei says:
sr nathan-ok ok lah
yanwei says:
gandhi-i love him sia..
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
he's okay
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i admit that
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont like gandhi cos i think it's crap to sleep with a niece
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
even though he might say he has got the willpower to not do anything to her
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but i think that's crap
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont like
yanwei says:
its just one incident..
yanwei says:
we have to look at the big picture.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
the big picture is that i stand with the imperialists
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
lol~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont see anything wrong with imperialism
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yes, he can call for freedom, but do the people really think freedom would do them good?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
sometimes, no
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
in the case of singapore we were lucky, we had strong leaders
yanwei says:
would enslavement be a better cure?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but india, i think they got corrupted
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
then economy went into a slump
yanwei says:
the conflicts happening in africa n the middle east is becos of colonizers' cruelty.
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
thinks went backwards
yanwei says:
would ignorance be really bliss..
yanwei says:
i hate to admit that we are indeed living in a struggle where the fittest rules
yanwei says:
but wouldn't the oppressed fighting for their rights
yanwei says:
be respected
yanwei says:
n given recognition
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
some colonisers are cruel
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but there is such a thing as good cruelty
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i learnt that in western pol thought
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
lol~
yanwei says:
good cruelty come on
yanwei says:
that's crap
yanwei says:
by exploiting our raw materials n selling cheap goods back to their colonies...
yanwei says:
sighz......
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yes they ecploited us
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but they also brought us prosperity
yanwei says:
i have nothing against the show of power by europeans..but i admire the acts of liberation groups
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
we cannot deny that
yanwei says:
becos they dared to fight back
yanwei says:
oh..come on...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
sometimes, sometimes, liberation might not be good
yanwei says:
why now the world economy is like that..
yanwei says:
we are plain lucky man
yanwei says:
the root problem goes back to colonizaition
yanwei says:
look at africa
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont believe in liberty
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
look at singapore
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
do we have freedom?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
no
yanwei says:
its becos of the french n the british...they carving territories out like shit.....
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but are we good?
yanwei says:
n leaving them
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yes, we can say we are good
yanwei says:
we have freedom
yanwei says:
of cos we have
yanwei says:
we are no longer 2nd class citizens
yanwei says:
oh....freedom may be limited
yanwei says:
but we are respected as a human
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
we dont have freedom
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
if u streak in singapore u get caned
yanwei says:
by most westerners back then there's just racial discrimination
yanwei says:
white man superiority my foot
yanwei says:
that's protecting society
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
u did not harm but u still kena caned
yanwei says:
not a bad law
yanwei says:
freedom comes with responsibilty
yanwei says:
the mental damage done by streaking
yanwei says:
may be immense
yanwei says:
u can not sacrifice societys' right for individuals' rights
yanwei says:
i admit s'pore have limited freedom
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
well, then that's not freedom
yanwei says:
but still better than colonized times...
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
what is freedom, i ask u?
yanwei says:
we were left alone to die dear....
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i said, we were lucky
yanwei says:
hohoho..thanks to mr lee n his comrades
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but arent the indians after the imperialist left dying of hunger?
yanwei says:
ain't it the imperialist fault..
yanwei says:
becos they only cared abt. exploiting the raw materials..
yanwei says:
india is still recovering from the colonizing experience
yanwei says:
the world may be better without coloniziation
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
well, individuals are all selfish creatures
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
they wont help others unless they gain from it too
yanwei says:
subjective
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but since everyone gains, then i see no wrong
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
of course i dont think that colonisers shd freely kill any people
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
but i think they have grounds for exploitation
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
one thing we must keep in mind, how did the colonisers come to power?
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
by their might
yanwei says:
vietnam war
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
then won over the people
yanwei says:
indonesia's quest for independence
yanwei says:
4 yrs long war with the dutch
yanwei says:
that sucks..
yanwei says:
jap even worse...
yanwei says:
that's so many more examples..
yanwei says:
its abt. relative gains
yanwei says:
the poor get poorer the rich get richer
yanwei says:
even now the west is accused of economic imperialism
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
vietnam war was not totally a war over the colonisers but a war of ideology
yanwei says:
why in the hell could they preach free trade when they apply trade barriers
yanwei says:
b4 that it was
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
that i salute to them
yanwei says:
long hard yrs
yanwei says:
n they left
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
indonesia well i think they have their own civil unrest after independence so i dont really see eye to eye with them
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
jap... i hate them~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
wahaha~
yanwei says:
sighz...u keep forgetting no humans are perfect.....
yanwei says:
i'm not blaming the imperialists totally for what they are doing
yanwei says:
but i salute the liberation movements
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i never forget humans are imperfect creatures
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
that's why my point in that my discriminations
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
and my points in that colonialism is not all that bad
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i dont salute all liberation movements
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
just some
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i think that some liberation movements are usless cos life is not much better after being liberated
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
yea... me talking about relativity
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
not perfection
yanwei says:
hey..haha...okie..hey..i gtg le..going to play pool with friend now..
yanwei says:
nice debating
yanwei says:
lol
yanwei says:
talk to u again
yanwei says:
byebye
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
hahaha~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
i like this discussion too~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
lol~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
have fun~
- xxoos - ruguo. ai says:
byebye~
yanwei says:
yup..thanks..byebye

Nothing is left out in this whole conversation. Nothing. At least I did something of sense today, I actually managed to use my brain. To think that I wanted to do a movie review, think I'll have to wait till tomorrow to do the movie review. Feeling so tired now after exerting all my braincells trying to debate with Yanwei.

On Another Clothing Trail

This afternoon I went with my sister and my cousin on yet another shopping trip. With the experience two days ago, I continued the fitting of clothes frenzy and tried on a whole lot more clothes. As with the previous experience, I bought one piece out of all the pieces I tried on. I hadn't wanted to buy anything when I went on this trip, but but but...

Unlike town, I realised one thing about fitting rooms in Bugis, they are a lot smaller and darker hence some of the photos didn't turn out very nice. Actually, after reviewing most pictures I realise that the angled shots taken don't really do much justice to me. I've long legs, to make my legs look nicer, it would be better to take photos from down-up, but as me stuck in the cramp little fitting room having to take self-taken shots, I can only take photos top-down, and that I feel, don't really do justice to my legs. wahaha~


A black dress from Elle Active I seen in Bugis Seiyu, $59. I thought the hood looked cute on the dress, reminds me of something Zihui would wear. It also comes in purple and weird red and some other weird colours, black looked the most decent though. But it's also straight cut, so it doesn't really look that flattering on me, cannot show my curves. lol~


A red and white batik designed spaghetti strap sundress from Urban Co, $59. It's the nicest dress I tried on this afternoon. The material is nice and soft to touch and feels very comfortable on me and it makes my boobs look bigger and hides my tummy well and shows off some curves and cleavage. Just too bad I was wearing a tube bra when I tried on that dress.


A red bikini from this bikini shop in Bugis, can't remember the name of the shop, $130. I thought the cutting of the bikini looked pretty interesting, just that as like most bikinis, because me don't have the substance to fit in the bikini, me can't wear it well. And me got tummy. No photoshopping out the tummy. But hey, life is fair, I get my nice legs in exchange for the horrible tummy. Just too bad this picture didn't show my legs cos I was wearing a short short skirt out shopping today. hehehe~


Grey shorts with white details in print from Surf and Ski, $89. It's soft cotton denim like material, a very comfortable wear and looks very nice on me. And I am looking for another pair of shorts having worn the same pair like over and over again. But I didn't like this colour, grey looks a bit deary on me. And the thought that they have the same design in red, my colour, but the red they don't have it in my size. wahaha~ $89... Maybe I wouldn't have bought it either, but it is the greatest temptation of the day.


See the red one, looks so much nicer on me. But this is one size bigger than my size, I can wear it as a hipster, but it's already a hipster so it's super hippie for me and the cutting around the thighs also feels very "open" and "airy". hehehe~ So, I didn't get it in the end. Seriously, I think if they had that in my size I really might have bought it.


A black skirt with white and lilac details from Billabong seen in the same shop as the shorts above, $59. This skirt isn't my size, it's one size larger so it looks super hipster when it is already a hipster. It was actually hanging precaciously on my hips and with a light tug you can get the skirt down.


The same skirt in brown and white and pink details in my size. Looks and feels better than the previous one, but brown... I already have a brown short skirt and I was wearing that that day too, you can se it in the above bikini photo vaguely. So I bought the black one in my size. Yup~ I bought this!!! Okay, not this but the previous one, which brings my tally of new skirts to three. I've now bought and have not worn three new skirts. All three new skirts are still in their packaging and hanging on my room door waiting to be washed and worn.


A black dress with a rose pinned in front by ICE, $109. I didn't really look that nice in the dress, it showed my bulging tummy but Suelynn looked splendid in it. She ended up feeling torn the whole day wanting or not to get that dress.


A black tube dress with crumples over the tummy and a flair skirt, some little shop in the Edge in Bugis, $49. This photo looks horrible cos this shop was little and the fitting room was not only little, it was also dimly lit and hence the photo cannot really show those details of the dress which make the dress look special. And also the dress was pretty loose, these dresses come in freesizing so if it's loose, it's loose.


The same black dress with the same details only in halterneck version, same price. I prefer halternecks cos I have nice boney and square and broad and nice shoulders and collarbone, so halternecks actually brings out the beauty of my shoulders and neck, and it makes my boobs looks bigger and my whole body a bit more shapely. But black? I did a double take and tried on the next piece...


The same dress in red. This this photo shows the details a bit clearer. Imagine these details on the previous two black dresses. Red is more of my colour and it looked pretty nice on me, but but but but but... This time got 5 buts. I was telling my sister, this looks like a dress worn to commit suicide. Looks like a dress worn to jump off a building. Reminds me very vividly of a screenplay I wrote, Scarlet Flight.

I think I'm on a roll lately. But don't think I'll actually dare to go on another shopping trip with those two girls in the very near future. I spent like more than a hundred dollars today, other than skirt I bought sever comic. I bought three Fruitsbasket after not buying it for a very long time, the latest Tsubasa, and Full Metal Alchemist, Chuangyi's English version at $8.50 per piece, I bought three pieces, I'm so broke now. I think Chuangyi is discriminating English readers. This is so unfair! English versions of the same titles are like 20% more expensive.

Me think me go read me comics liao.

On the Clothing Trail

This afternoon met up with my sister and my cousin to do some shopping. I got into a clothes fitting mood and tried out a whole lot of clothes, but of all the many pieces I tried out I only got one piece, one skirt only, but it was still a fruitful shopping trip. It's not about the number of pieces of clothes bought but the number of pieces of clothes tried and the satisfaction of creating a memory out of once wearing those clothes.

I took picture of those pieces of clothes in the fitting room. Usually salespeople are quite anal of people taking photos in their stores, but to go around the problem, just take the photos in the fitting room where one is ensure maximum privacy. hahaha~ This might sound a bit cheapskate, but still, quite fun, trying on all the nice nice clothes.


A black dress from Xcessories, $49 only. I would have bought it if not for the fact that it's a bit to piecey. If I bend down, half my breast would show. The person recommended that I wear a tube inside, but the thing is that if I want to wear a dress why in the world would I wear a tube? diaoz...


A white bikini from New Urban Male, $150 for the set, but I only tried the top. Yes, that's my bulging tummy, no photoshopping from me, so don't laugh. It's a very interesting cut, looks very unique, but it's a white non-padded bikini, I don't have the confidence to wear it out, look quite flat in it and can see the nipple mark... hehehe~


A yellow and red skirt from Buttcheeks, $28 only. I would have bought it of not for the next piece of skirt.


A brown and pink skirt from Buttcheeks, $28 only. I bought it!!! When I tried the yellow and red piece I hadn't really thought of buying it cos I thought it cost a lot more. When I realised it was only $28, I bought it without thinking. I tried out the yellow and red one first cos I didn't really like brown, but after trying out the brown I thought the brown didn't look that brown, it looked pretty black, and very much less ugly than I thought. In fact, it looked very nice~ I love it~


White tube dress with details from Chaos, $119. It's asymetrical cut so it looks very beautiful on me. I would have bought it if I had a dinner and needed a dress, but I don't. I cannot think of any occasion for me to wear that dress, and I'm on a more saving mode now, and that I don't really fancy tubes, although that tube is nice, I have this fear for exposing myself when in a tube. lol~


Black retro print slinky dress also from Chaos, $79. Halter neck, I like, but it's knee length and straight lined so it's too long for me and too plain for my liking. It it was shorter, or if it was asymetrical cut, I think I might have bought it straight away, at $79, it was quite worth it.


Black cotton dress with detail prints from Tannlines, $89. Tank top neck with a short mini flair skirt, cute~ Just that I thought the skirt was a little short and when I walk can see my buttcheeks and the band for the skirt is a little too low of me, and a bit too narrow for my wide hips, so not exactly the most confortable piece of dress.

Yup~ Tried on that many clothes today. Even though I can't actually own every one of those, but the thought that I once wore them just feels so nice. Anyway, I actually do own one piece of those. hahaha~ The brown and pink skirt~ Can't wait to wear it... but maybe I should keep it for new year? We'll see how...