Handphone Meme

I seldom pick up memes to do, but I'm bored today. Actually it's not because I'm bored, I've got lots of blog entries waiting for me to pick up my fingers to type but somehow along the way I've lost my drive to do them especially since they need me to use my brain to construct coherent sentences, and I can't ramble. I thought this meme sounded pretty interesting.

1. What is the phone brand?
Nokia N70

2. What are the last three digits of your mobile phone number?
260

3. What does the second message in your inbox say?
Due to some sort of memory problem, my message inbox is completely wiped out. In a normal situation, I'd have dieded when this happened, but lately, after switching handphones, and getting over my rough patch, I've taken things easier and twice cleared my inbox totally empty, this is the third time my inbox is totally empty, save for one recent message. Anyway, all my messages from my rough patches are still in my old phone, and I'm still holding it now, so I guess, I'm still not taking things as easy as I think I am.

4. Who is the first person who comes in under M?
The first entry under M is actually Malaysia-ICC. bah~ The first name under M is Man... She's now in Hong Kong, and that line's probably dead already, so I think I should delete it. hai...

5. Who was the last person you rang?
(no dialled numbers) I guess that problem wiped out my call logs too. The last person I rang was probably more than a month ago. I haven't called anyone since I left Singapore. My phone still Singapore line and roaming charges are astronomical.

6. Who was your last missed call from?
+65 68832365
I got my dad to call that number to see who missed called me. Okay, it was me ignoring the call since I don't want to be charged for roaming. Anyway, my dad said it was some tuition agency or something, and they can't remember calling me, so I guess it's not important.

7. Who is the second person who comes in under D?
Daniel psycho. erm... He's not psycho, it was just that he was in my orientation group eons back and our group was called Psycho. I don't want people to think that I anyhow give names to others.

8. What does the last message in your inbox say?
There's only one message in my inbox at present.
"Heh, i dunno wad to write in ur mail leh. Ur last reply dun nid any reply one. But nvm lah, got something to read is gd enuff. Haven recover yet. Sigh."
My poor boy...

9. Who comes in under J?
erm... Am I to list everyone in J?
Ja Liy, Jacelyn, Jane german, Janey, Japan-ICC, Jasmine, Jennifer, Jesslyn, Jiadai, Jiaxin, Jieying cds, Jin, Jingling, Jinsen, Jinwei, Jo, Joann gaedus, Joey, Jovin, Joycelyn, Juliet, Junming 1.
I can't recognise half the names, and this are not all the Js I have. I still have the names from my old phone memory which I have not transferred over to my new phone yet. 3 months and I'm still procrastinating. bah~

10. What does the 10th item in your Sent Items say?
(no messages)

11. Who is the 4th person to come in under S?
Shawn

12. Who is your network provider?
It's alternating between Singtel and Vodafone.de because I'm getting the Vodafone signal from here, and when I don't get signals, it shows the Singtel one, but I can't use it.

13. How many messages are there currently in your inbox?
1
The person who sent me that sms, are you proud of your that little achievement? lol~

14. What do you have as your background?


15. Who is the 2nd person to come in under R?
Raymond

16. Who do you have on speed dial 3?
I don't use speed dial.

17. If you use Pay as You Go, how much credit do you have left?
In applicable.

18. Who is the first person to come in under C?
Carissa jlpp

19. How many bars of signal do you currently have?
seven, full

20. What do you have as your main ringtone?
Brothers, from the soundtrack of Full Metal Alchemist.

---

I will repeat the whole process for my the other phone. I did say that I was bored, didn't I?

1. What is the phone brand?
Nokia 6230

2. What are the last three digits of your mobile phone number?
454, my German Handynummer~

3. What does the second message in your inbox say?
"Vodafone Mailbox: Der Anrufer hat keine Nachricht hinterlassen: "+31614055511" 29/05/06 23:41 1 Versuch"
I shall leave the identity of the person who owns that phone number anonymous. If you want to know who he is, feel free to drop him an sms to ask him. wahaha~

4. Who is the first person who comes in under M?
Mailbox, the other entry in M is MusicFinder, also not a person.
I've disabled phone memory, now only using SIM card memory and the total number of phone numbers I have in my memory can be counted on like my hands. I have no friends. bah~
(Man hse)*

5. Who was the last person you rang?
Gabriel

6. Who was your last missed call from?
Gabriel

7. Who is the second person who comes in under D?
(no matches)
(Daniel psycho, I've transferred this name over from my old handy to new one I guess)*

8. What does the last message in your inbox say?
"Hey councillors. I thank everyone of u for ur commitment n energy. Do get ur rest, drink lots of water, n i'll c u all on monday. Take care."
Sent: 05:37:03pm 31-07-2004
O Week... How fast time flies, I didn't even remember that sms.

9. Who comes in under J?
(no matches)
(Jacelyn hse, Jamie jlexpo, Jasmine hse, Jasmine hy2242, Jasmine senior, Jason ding, Jaze, Jaze 1, Jaze 2, Jean, Jeannet eu2218, Jennifer hse, Jerlin, Jessica cds, Jiadai hse, Jiajun ccc, Jiajun hse, Jianfu, Jianfu hse, Jiaxin hse, Jiayuan, Jiayuan hse, Jieqi, Jieying ccc, Jieying hse, Jimmy, Jimmy hse, Jingfang, Jingli, Jingling hse, Jingyi, Jingying, Jingying hse, Jingyi 1, Jinwei hse, Jinwei 1, JK, Jo hse, Joanna ding, Joanna vj, Joanne hy2216, Jovin hse, Joyce, Joycelyn hse, Juliet hse, Junming, Junwei ccc, Junwei hse, Justin cds
I don't know 75%of the people in the list, the others are old numbers not in use anymore, and those with module codes are old project group mates that I think I'll never see them again unless we happen to do a module together again.)*

10. What does the 10th item in your Sent Items say?
I only have 8 items in my sent items.

11. Who is the 4th person to come in under S?
There are three entries under S, only one is a person, Sarah.
(Shalwa)*

12. Who is your network provider?
Vodafone.de

13. How many messages are there currently in your inbox?
147

14. What do you have as your background?


15. Who is the 2nd person to come in under R?
The only entry in R is RoutenService. What the heck is that?
(Rapid Culture, not a person, but a shop. Person would be Rayini eu & asean.)*

16. Who do you have on speed dial 3?
I don't use speed dial.

17. If you use Pay as You Go, how much credit do you have left?
I just topped up 25€. I can't check the amount inside until the amount inside falls low.

18. Who is the first person to come in under C?
The first entry is CallYa-Team, the first person is Carol.
(Carissa jlpp)*

19. How many bars of signal do you currently have?
seven, full

20. What do you have as your main ringtone?
Miriam Yeung's 《小城大事/大城大事》polyphonic ringtone, I think, or is it one of the either's mp3, can't remember...

*To further prove that I'm dam boliao, I've switched my memory to phone memory for the phone book and will answer the above questions regarding phone book entries. Those in the brackets() with the asterix * are the added ones.

Better Now

After a bath, after some sleep, after realising that I am very happy, I am feeling a lot better. After all why would I feel jealous about something when I have something similiar in a superior form. It's like me being able to go to Germany for 107 days yet I feel jealous of my sister who's going to Hong Kong for 10 days.

I really need to tell myself that indeed I have more than I need, and more than I want. And I don't want anything that would only bring me more pain and unhappiness.

Back from Berlin

I'm so bloody tired.

I didn't manage to get much sleep on the train because of this big fear of missing the train station and screwing myself up. I'm going to head for a short nap now before I get up to get some work done. sian~

Berlin brought back depression into me. First, it's so amazing how a country ravaged by losing two world wars can now manage to achieve so high standards of living that even America and UK pale in comparison. Of course, I say this because I've never been to Japan, and Japan's only ravaged by one world war, and much of the destruction were limited to a couple of aerial bombs and not literally the army marching into the city and ravage it and it's people. depressing...

Not only that, it's also the being all alone in the big city that make me realise, I've been really trying to hard to build this wall around my heart and make me appear strong when I'm in fact, but a weakling.

A friend wrote this in her blog...

摆脱我心中的恶魔

每次看偶像剧，剧中的男女主角总是幸福美满，快快乐乐地生活在一起。现实生活中的男男女女，是否都会有如此美满的姻缘？我开始对之前所存有的所谓“天长地久”这个概念，不再抱以任何的希望。毕竟，现在的我还正在尝试走出情伤，就先把所有完美无瑕的念头抛开一边好了。

从香港返回新加坡，相信是我人生中的一大转捩点。决定提前回来，为的是要除去我心中的一块大石。在香港的那段日子，发生了许多令我实在是措手不及的事。面对眼前所有的问题，不禁开始怀疑，我们是否真的是彼此在寻找的那个“终生伴侣”？只觉得对他的那份感情还是依旧存在，但如果只单靠纯纯的爱，真的能够克服眼前所有的障碍吗？我没勇气这么想，真的没有勇气。

有好几次，其实我已经下定决心，斩草除根，把心中的魔鬼去除掉。但是下定决心了后，总是力不从心。觉得好好笑哦。之前的我还那么坚定，到了隔天，一觉醒来，那所谓的意志力，也随着我的睡意，消失得无影无踪。我又再次陷进去，陷进那无底洞里，无法爬出来。奇怪的是，我还很清醒，很清楚自己已经再次跌了进去，但我似乎还很开心。你能骂我活该，骂我愚蠢，骂我笨，骂我没用头脑想。我还是傻傻地陷了进去。

每次都欺骗自己，告诉自己一切都还是很完美的。 告诉自己一切都还是顺顺利利的，我们彼此还是深爱对方，只要是那样就已经足够了。

但是，童话故事并不是美好的。我应该说是欺骗自己的童话故事，根本就不会是美好的。这一切结束了。四年的光阴，我们所拥有的快乐时光，都像枯萎的花瓣掉落在草地上，随着风飘走了。虽然已经结束了，但我还被困在无底洞里，爬不出来。

只要还能感觉到他对我的一丝眷念或是关怀，我都会感到无比的快乐。但我完全不知道自己已经越陷越深，在这样下去，根本是不行的。

那晚，他对我说不想再隐瞒我了，说他找到了一段新恋情。

我知道这一天一定会到的，但没想到竟然会那么快。之前的我最害怕听到的就是这个，最不想面对的，也是这个。为什么要让我知道呢？让我继续欺骗自己吧。

到现在，心里还会不断地隐隐作痛，那种感觉，真的好难形容。每回想到曾经和自己走得那么近的人，现在却和别人走在一起，那种阵痛便会油然而生。好辛苦。为什么不能和喜欢的人长长久久？到底是谁发明了“分手”这两个字？

我知道现在是时候踏出这个无底洞，摆脱心中的恶魔，勇敢地自己走下去。我一定要成功,请祝我好运。

P/S: 本故事纯属虚构,如有雷同,纯属巧合.

I replied this...

我不看偶像剧，因为都是骗人的。我从很久以前就觉得童话，偶像剧，日剧，韩剧，都是超现实，所以我看港剧。港剧没有天长地久，没有忠诚，没有信任，有的只是复杂的恋情。

可能我的世界已经蒙上一层灰，可能我已不再懂得什么是忠诚，可能我已经把世界定为一个充满着奸诈，我学会了怎么不再爱任何人。包括爱了很久的那一个人...

But of course, I'm not being true to myself. I said to myself that I shall never love again, so why am I feeling this pang of pain and go through the whole process of mindfucking and get mindfucked all over again? Perhaps my friend's has got it right, "那晚，他对我说不想再隐瞒我了，说他找到了一段新恋情。/ 我知道这一天一定会到的，但没想到竟然会那么快。之前的我最害怕听到的就是这个，最不想面对的，也是这个。为什么要让我知道呢？让我继续欺骗自己吧。"

我再骗我自己什么？

我以前认为只要耐心的等，总有一天会等到。但你却让我明白有些东西不管我等多久，我还是得不到，或者应该说，我还是不可能得到。但又有人给我希望，跟我说如果我耐心的等，我会等到我要的东西。现在，我已不清楚我要什么东西，但充满着爱恨情仇的我只知道我就是不要你比我幸福。Conan as Shinichi once said to Ran that she needn't worry about what others think, as long as she's being true to her own feelings, then after that he scoffed at the irony, that it's actually him not being true to his own feelings. I think I'm feeling vengeful...

I went off topic again. And I wanted to say something else, about someone else, about something I received, from someone whom I care about and cares for me. Life just is this bad, that you can't see the good things and only can see the bad. I think lack of sleep and the deary weather is wearing me down. Even pms isn't that bad... I hate the rain and the cold. And I hate you.

I'm so totally emotionally fucked up now. bah~

What Am I Made Of?

drawahouse.com

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes.

When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You are not a romantic person by nature. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

These show why online Personality Tests aren't accurate at all.
- I didn't draw crosses over my windows.
- I AM a romantic person by nature.
- I flirt quite a bit.
- I think the whole world revolves around me.

---

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes... In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

These show why online Personality Tests aren't accurate at all.
- I'm A LITTLE scarred??? That's the understatement of the century.
- I'm overly agitated when things go wrong, I'm not a calm person by nature.
- Nothing will come to me as a shock. I'm highly intuitive, I can tell when things are going to happen.

---

You Are The Hanging Man

You represent the seeking of enlightenment and spiritual clarity. You tend to confuse others, but your oddities seem deeply satisfying. Self sacrifice is easy for you, especially if it makes you a better person in the end. You are the type of person who is very in touch with your soul and inner spirit. Your fortune: Right now is a good time for reflection and meditation. You should stop resisting the problems in your life, and let yourself be vulnerable to them. You may need to sacrifice something important to you to move ahead in your life. Accept your destiny with courage, and learn to let go of what you think you need.

What Tarot Card Are You?

I used my nick xxoos to tabulate this result.

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You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed. You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light. You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two. Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets. Your fortune: Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward. You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination. And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end. You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

What Tarot Card Are You?

I used my real name, joan ang, to tabulate this result.

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You Are The Empress

You represent the ideal female figure: beauty and nurturing. You bring security and harmony to many. At times, you are also a very sensual person. You are characterized by love, pleasure, and desire. Your fortune: You need to take some time to think about the role of commitment in your life. It's possible you need to commit more to others, or deal with how others have treated you. It is very important for you to support your friends and family right now, difficult as it may be. You may need to look at your relationship with your mother, or your relationships as a mother.

What Tarot Card Are You?

I used my name joan to tabulate this result.

---

You Are The Star

You represent the ultimate in truth and purity. Insightful and illuminating, you provide guidance for others. You also demonstrate unselfish, unconditional love. You posses many spiritual gifts, including the ability to heal. Your fortune: Your future is looking brighter by the day. The near future will be a time of both hope and healing. Luck is about to come your way, perhaps the best luck you have ever seen. Life is about to get a lot easier and much better!

What Tarot Card Are You?

I used my chinese name in pinyin to tabulate this result.

---

I guess my name says a lot about me because all of the about results which tabulates my name seems to be quite accurate.

---

Another note, wonder how many people here uses firefox, and has blocked flashing gifs? I just realised that someone actually does that. men~ If you are one of them, then I think you are missing a lot of this, since my whole blog is filled with flashing gifs ever since I mastered the making of it. I've did something to my header too, wonder anyone noticed it? hehehe~ Feeling very smart from my clevery~

I also realised one thing, much of the blog that I created is make for my convenience. When Cindy changed her blog template, I noticed something's weird about her measurements and asked her about it. Her response was that it looked okay on her computer screen. Most of the time when we do blogs up, we always check on our own computer screens to see if the alignment is to our convenience. When I did up my blog, it's the same thing.

My blogskin, especially the measurements for my header is done specifically to my convenience, for a 1024px screen. Not just for a 1024px screen, because if you are using a 1024 screen, I think most people do, you'd notice that there are black parts by the side. Fact is that my skin is made with a 850px width. Doushite? I use a side bar~ So if my width is 1024px, like my previous skin, I'd need to scroll left and right. For my convenience, I decided to make my blogskin only 850px wide, so that everything fits nicely on my screen~

After all, I am my blog's most loyal reader.

---

A Forum of China Chinese Angered by a Singaporean Exchange Student's Blog

I think nineaugust sums it up pretty well... "This shows how pampered our kids are, and how arrogant the other kids are."

Effectively, I don't like the way nineaugust overgeneralised, because I wouldn't want to say all Singaporeans are pampered, and neither are all the PRCs arrogant because after trawling through the whole of the forum, I conclude that it's only that girl being pathetic, and it's not fair for people to condemn all Singaporeans just because one girl is being pathetic. yea... Even I hold that girl in contempt.

But another problem arises out of this. What is a blog? I always thought that blogs are diaries, for one to be totally honest in it. But then, as time goes, more people read the blog, one cannot put one's true feelings online for fear that someone else is reading it. Then in time, one writes for others to read and is no longer true to his own feelings. Is that still a blog? Many times I want to write what I really feel, but self censorship stands in my way.

Right now, I'm still seaching what is my blog's path. I want to say I'm writing for my readers, but I do also want to write for myself. Or ideally in my utopian world, I want to write for myself and for my readers to accept what I'm writing, and better if they like it.

bah~ I've homework to do and I'm procrastinating again. And I've to wake up early tomorrow to go the the library to print stuff. If I finish my homework later and have time to spare, I'll do the post I've always wanted to do since forever. I don't think I'd have time to spare tomorrow as I'm going up to Berlin and would be without internet access for one weekend, so no Detective Conan for me for oh my god 4 days! (diaoz...) And I'd be meeting a friend for the first time, in Berlin, the most unsafe place in the whole of Germany. (It's relative, Germany is a very safe place, especially in the south, but not so for the east, and with the high concentration of the punks, and because of my skin colour... hmm...) Will I kena condemned by Germans for saying that Berlin is unsafe? bah~ Must redeem myself by saying that I can safely say that I can walk out onto the streets now and the most dangerous thing that might happen to me is that I freeze to death.

Damn... I went off track again... Oh, I was saying, I'd be meeting a friend for the first time in Berlin. wahahaha~ Sekali he turns out to be an ax-murderer or something, then I bu shi si le?

Blog Revamped

I've been meaning to do this for a very long time already but only managed to do it up now because...

1. I had trouble picking with header to use, then I remembered my specialty, animated gifs.
2. Then I wanted more backgrounds for the header, but haven't been travelling and haven't any nice pictures.
3. My previous copy of the template in notepad form was lost after my computer crashed. This had to be redone from scratch.
4. I fell in love with youtube and that occupied all my time.
5. I procrastinated.
6. I procrastinated more.
7. I procrastinated much more.
8. I thought that my previous blogskin was adequate.
9. I was supposed to be doing my homework tonight.
10. I decided to procrastinate doing my homework~ wahaha~


An explanation of the new header. The animated gif idea was toyed with for a month before I finally decided on these 16 pictures. I don't think they are the best but it will have to do until I find more time to make a header I'm really proud of. Actually, I don't quite like the image quality of the gif file on flickr, but it will have to do until I make a nicer header.

The picture of me in the header I thought was my pride. I really loved that picture a lot. But then my world collasped the other day when a friend said I looked like I've gained weight in that picture. dang~ Until I find a nicer picture of myself that I also really like, well, I'll keep this header. I spent like nights cutting my double face out, cutting and resizing everything, if I don't use it, the nights I've spent would be very much wasted.

I need a better photog. Then I can do less photoshopping. No, I need a studio, then I won't even need to photoshop away all the extas. The original unedited photo was from this blog entry.
The Manhattan Fish Market

There's another story behind it. When my comp crashed, the photos taken on that day were lost because I hadn't backed them up, but luckily I blogged about it, and I posted them on Flickr and I managed to get those nicer pictures back by downloading them from Flickr again. Luckily I didn't resize the pictures. If not, I'd really die. The picture is really one I liked a lot a lot, that is until that friend of mine said I looked fat in it. damn... I think it's the smile... When I smile my cheeks puff up and I look fat.

Anyway, since I started watching youtube, I've stopped playing with my photoshop. Just now it was actually touching photoshop all over again that prompted me to finally play with html codings. The pice of work I played with just now...

They are all screen captures from youtube.

I like photoshop~ I can crop and resize, and I've learnt something new today! I've learnt how to stretch~ The orginal video was on wide screen but it wasn't uploaded on wide screen format, so the characters all looked narrowed, so my screen captures of the character looked narrow, so I stretched them back using photoshop~

See when I've the time, and my screen capture is working again, I'll do a more lavish attempt at creating something nice for my dear Shinichi~ Now to think of that, I still owe someone an animated gif something like my header. I did himan amatuer one, but I found a nicer picture of him which I want to use, but more difficult to crop away all the extras at the back. bah~ Must find time to play with my photoshop again. But I've got so many other things to do too... wahaha~

Okay, please give me comments for my blogskin. Thanks~

Letters from the Daddie

I'll be going up to Berlin this weekend. I told my dad that. Then I realised that for all the trips I went, I never once asked my dad if I could go, I just went ahead and told him my plans. yea... I know I'm past the age of needing to ask for permission from my parents, but well, all my expenses here are being paid by them, whatever trip I make, it's out of their pockets. Feeling a bit guilt spending so much.

So that day, after conversing with a friend, pondering if should go to London, or Utrecht, I thought that maybe I should ask the Daddie. My family is not rich, yes, I might live a comfortable life, but we are nowhere near extravagant. Financially, I know my this whole exchange programme is a burden to the Daddie, even though my grandfather did pay for my airplane tickets and attempted to help out a bit. Considering this and that my sister is going to Hong Kong for an immersion trip this June, I really shouldn't be spending too much.

SO I decided to ask the Daddie about the impending trip to either London or Utrecht. I don't want to be a spoilt kid and always get my way, so I asked him if it's viable. I told of the costs either by train or by plane, then I told him about the costs of my tickets to Berlin. Then I asked him what he thought. I was thinking, if he thought that going to London would be too expensive, then I should maybe go somewhere else.

But this was his reply:

Joan,

Go for a break.
I think you have enough money in your account.
I have experienced living in the dormitory alone during the holidays, it was very very boring.
You just have to keep track of your expenses and let me know when to top up your account.

Bye.

--

What is it about the men that they like to end their emails with "bye." or "cheers.", it's so lame.

It's nice to have a father who understands after being through the same thing once. My Daddie studied in England some time back, okay make that some very long time back, so he knows what's it like to be far away from home and must make use of all opportunities. But of course, the very long time back and now is very different. Because of one very important invention, living alone in a dormitory is no longer boring.

Internet.

With the internet, I can be whereever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. I can occupy my time by surfing websites, I can read books, I can watch movies, I can catch up on news, though mainly, only football news. Life in a dorm isn't really that boring.

But of course, it would be better to be going out, definitely~ hehehe~

I've been trying to cut down on expenses by not buying anything irrelevant. The shoes I wanted to buy when I came over has been shelved away, I hates shoes anyway, I'm a slipon kind of girl... hehehe... I don't think I'd be buying clothes over here, unless they are really cheap, or that I can wear them again when I'm back in Singapore, ie I won't be buying jackets and coats and stuff like those. I'm also not eating a lot. All these just so that I can travel and not burden the family back in Singapore. I think I am a good girl~

After spending 154euros on my train ticket to Berlin, and the Bahncard, and whatnots, I've officially set my budget in Berlin to be at 100euros, and if I don't buy anything tomorrow and on Friday, I've got another 20euros more to spend. I've now only like 120euros in my wallet, not counting the bit of coins I have. So that shall be my budget. Actually for only two days and one night, 100euros sounds quite more than enough, right? hai... Not so sure, anyway, I think if I really see anything I really want to buy I think I'll still buy it and probably pay by my Mastercard. I'm such a spendthrift.

Maybe instead of asking my dad to top up my account, I should call him to transfer money from my savings account in to my this account. At least when I know I'm spending my own savings, I might feel a bit more pained and not spend that much? hahahaha... damn... I'm now even scoffing at myself.

yea... This is coming from the girl who had just this afternoon spent €17,99 on a (brace yourself for this) German soundtrack for (...) Detective Conan. That's like so duh... But the opening track keeps playing in my head "Ich kann nicht dagegen tun..." that after seeing the advert for the OST, I was tempted into buying it. Oh, and my Gravitation the novel finally came in the post~ wahaha... More on that another time.

I just want to say this again. I'm really thankful for everything I have. The 52 Detective Conan mangas sitting in my cabinet back at home. And I'm really not jealous of everything I don't have. The entire set of Detective Conan the anime. I don't really need the things I don't have, so there's no reason for me to feel upset over things I don't have. After all there is youtube, I don't need to buy all the anime when I already have the whole collection of manga. wait... I suddenly thought of my whole collection of anime AND manga of Cardcaptor Sakura. I should be extremely thankful that I have all those I have.

Looking forward to Berlin this weekend~

In preparation for this Berlin trip, I've bought an extra set of 4 rechargable batteries, and I shall charge them all up, I now have 12 batteries. And I'll clear my 1gig card, and just in case, I shall go and clear my 512mb card and 128mb card. And in extra protection, I shall also clear my 1gig card for my handphone, and the other 512mb card in my the other handphone.

Have I not said I'm extremely thankful for everything I have?

An Email: Yummy Salmon

I just wrote this email to a friend, and I thought that it sounds pretty interesting for a blog entry, so instead of only having one person know about it, I've decided to put it on the blog and share this little nugget with everybody online~ wahaha~ And, sorry, bear with me for the utter neglection of the use of capital letters. I'm not very font of using capital letters, even when it's appropriate in MSN or in emails. Just a little weird fact about me.

---

hello shuaige~

still in camp? still want me to send you emails to occupy your cold lonely nights with a dozen of other men? wahaha~

subject of today is your favourite topic, salmon~ a new inventive joan way of eating salmon, or should i say, your favourite smoked salmon... wahahah~ and i've just ate it for supper... jealous? don't be, cos i'll teach you how to now!

usually when you eat salmon what do you flavour it with? when i ate smoked salmon, western style, i always flavour it with lemon juice, squeezed from a lemon slice. actually when i eat seafood western styled, i always eat it with squeezed lemon. all kinds of fish, prawns, whatsoevers, fried, steamed (but western hardly steam fish), grilled or smoked, always with lemon to enhance the taste of the seafood.

but when i eat seafood chinese or japanese styled, i always flavour it with light soya sauce, jiu qing, jiang qing, whatever you call it in your dialect. especially japanese style, always always everything must dip in light soya sauce.

yesterday, in the supermarket, i saw a packet of salmon selling not too expensive, so i bought it. at first i thought the salmon was raw, but of course, if it comes packaged, tough luck for it to be raw. but anyway, i ate it. yesterday i ate it japanese styled, with light soya sauce and ate it plain. too salty, and with it being smoked, i think the preservatives that i ate altogether is enough to put someone allergic to msg to death already. but of course, don't need to worry about me, i fed myself enough pepsi to make sure i'm still alive.

just now, for supper, i wanted something a bit more. was feeling really hungry mah... so i thought of toast. remember i told you about high tea at hyatt's? or was it you whom i was discussing smoked salmon with? should be you la, only you as crazy about food as me... hehehe... at hyatt's, i ate the smoked salmon with lemon over toast. but tonight, me didn't buy lemon, besides, this smoked salmon not nice as the on at hyatt's, this one still a bit fishy, so i decided to do some infusion~

i soaked the salmon in my light soya sauce just like i did last night, then place that slice of salmon on top of my toast, and ate it. japanese-western infusion~ sort of like sushi only that i used toast instead of rice. sort of like sandwich only that i did it with light soya sauce.

another little jap-infusion i added just now is my drinking of ocha after the meal to wash off the effects of the over eating of preservatives.

sounds nice right? sounds yummy right? hehehe~ want to try it out some time? but then if i were in singapore, i wouldn't go for smoked salmon, i prefer my salmon to be raw~ wahahaha...

oh... and speaking of salmon, i learnt an interesting recipe from my neighbour. baked salmon~ hahaha... you want next time i can try out that recipe see you dare to try my food anot. lol~

my neighbour's salmon got another story of its own... that day i was at this little fast food restaurant selling seafood. i saw a little sushi bento. thinking of home, thinking of all the sushi i haven't been eating, i bought one box, not very cheap, but just to try it out.

feeling happy that that night's dinner was going to be a yummy one, i went back home. and ate my sushi~ of course that includes raw salmon sushi, my very very favourite, well, almost my most favourite... then my neighbour came into the kitchen and put his salmon into the oven to bake.

it smelt so nice~

then he took it out and ate it. one piece of salmon baked, together with potatoes and bread. nice and warm and fragrant. there i was eating my raw salmon with rice and kikoman light soya sauce, the salmon was cold, the rice was cold, the soya sauce was salty, if you understand what i mean... bah~ my this neighbour is always making me feel bad with all the nice food he has.

anyway, i got the recipe from him already~ wahahaha~ but in the meantime, me too lazy to cook can only eat salmon toast, which i still think tastes yummy~ of course, it's only yummy when i'm not having dinner with my that above mentioned neighbour. bah~

okie~ good night~ have fun at camp~ how i wish i had this many guys surrounding me at this moment sia... lucky you~ wahahaha...

xxoos
joan

More Links

I was out today with Yingshi, Clarence and Najib who came in to Freiburg from Heidelberg. So I didn't manage to watch anything on youtube, and I hadn't watched Conan Movie 8 last night either, maybe I'll watch later, maybe not. See how first.

Actually the title More Links is a bit misleading, I'm not posting up more links, I'm just doing a bit more linkings. hai...

This Blinkymummy post on KL reminded me of the last time I went to KL. Or did I even go to KL? I went to KL, yes, but I hadn't left Berjaya Times Square at all. The whole time I was in KL, I was confined to the buildings of Berjaya Times Square, so can I considered as having gone to KL? bah~

Remember just yesterday night I was angsting over Shan and Ming and Tian over my possible finetuning of Adele's character and her relationship with Ming? I think I've found a possible answer here.

Last night/this morning, I had a dream. I dream of Ming and Adele and of this little village near my place, Hinterzarten. I love that place after being there once, I see the possibility of Ming and Adele being there had things not happened. damn... I'm now starting to like Adele more than Shan, and if this happens, my story will become a big mess. bah~ I need to do more thinking instead of feeling.

I finally got this video uploaded.

It's pure entertainment. I hadn't wanted to put it up at first since it's so lame, but I wanted to show it to a friend so I uploaded it and since I've uploaded it I thought I must well put it up here.

And finally I got my screen capture working. I'm not sure why but sometimes it works sometimes it don't. So here's the picture I wanted to show to prove my Minesweeper best times. Pity I didn't get the screen of my best score board captured.



I thought I was good in Minesweeper, of course I know I'm definitely nowhere near the best, but after seeing this post, I'm feeling a bit demoralised of myself. But honestly, looking at the board, the placing of the mines is what I consider a lucky board. bah~ I need to push myself to the extremes. I need more practice.

And I'm hungry now. And I need to bathe. And I still got stuff to do. sucks... And I'm still procrastinating about this other post I've been wanting to post up since two weeks ago. And now I'm urgent, need go toilet. bah~ My mind's not working anymore.

Shinichi and Ran

Today I've cleared three Detective Conan movies, I've watched Detective Conan Movie 5, Detective Conan Movie 6 and Detective Conan Movie 7. I'm thinking if I should watch Detective Conan Movie 8 tonight or should I go to bed now.

After more than one month of in Germany, I'm back to my nocturnal lifestyle. Although not as bad as when I was in Singapore, I think it's already pretty bad. And I think the factor is very importantly the prescence of internet that I can use. With internet, the sun just doesn't set. There are so many things which I can do online, and so many things for me to find out.

Today, I shall talk about Shinichi and Ran, and a little bit of a gem that I've just discovered.

I'll talk about Shinichi and Ran first and incorporate the other things as I go on since I've titled this as Shinichi and Ran, so focus will still be on them. Who are they? One might first ask. They are characters from Detective Conan, a long running manga series by Gosho Aoyama. You can read the wiki link, I'm too lazy to explain things further and especially if you know them and I go on explaining like you don't know them, I know how that feels, it sucks.

Shinichi and Ran are childhood friends who grew up to fall in love with each other but never got around to confessing their true feelings for each other until Shinichi's ordeal, and now there's probably no chance of them confessing to each other anymore. I used to be skeptical of this so called kind of childhood friends becoming lovers, but on screen, it just looks pretty envying. But anyway, they've now been separated by Shinichi's ordeal, not really a physical barrier, and i can feel their pain.

Maybe I'm thinking too much. I'm really watching too much anime until it's corrupting me like what somebody once pointed out to me. I felt quite moody after two night of watching Conan movies that just now after watching the three Conan movies I went out to think kitchen and drank. A cup in hand replacing a glass and a bottle of coke in the other replacing wine. I drank like how moody people drink on TV only that instead of alcohol I fed myself with coke. Cup after cup, I refilled and drank. Glup after glup I drank them all down into my stomach. I felt like crying but no tear could come out. It felt just like drinking.

Maybe the events of Shinichi was just affecting me very badly, and along with a couple of MSN chats I had with some people that made me feel even moodier. Shinichi is separated from his family, his dad's someone famous, and because he has to conceal his identity of Shinichi as Conan, he was not able to talk face to face with his dad in one of the movies I watched this evening. They merely communicated via eye contact and stuff. And I thought about a couple of things, including the conversations I held.

I talk about the first, it was actually yesterday that I talked to him. I can say he was the person who sold my soul. He was the one who introduced hell to me. And then he disappeared. Come one year later, he messaged me online again. After that chat I changed my nick to: "should i open up a can of worms? or should i do what kaito kid said "leave some mysteries unsolved"?" The quote from Kaito Kid is a quote from one of those Conan movies I watched yesterday, I'm really hooked onto them sia... Anyway, I didn't opened the can of worms. I don't want to know anything that might hurt me, especially since I'm now happy with myself.

Just now I got a compliment from someone whom I haven't talk to recently, and it was a compliment that I really appreciate. But in the midst of being happy with the compliment, I also felt a sense of sorrow. I don't know where the sorrow came from, amybe a bit of unease, maybe a bit of "vermissen", maybe a bit of something else I don't know.

I went swimming this afternoon too. I made 1.8km in a 50m pool. Previously I was in a 25m pool, and when I'm back home in Singapore, my pool is also a 25m pool so using a 50m pool is a refreshing change. It gave me more time to think about things as I swim. And I thought about a lot. Surprisingly, I didn't feel tired and could go for 200m before resting a bit. I thought about the novel I'm writing, and of course Shinichi and Ran, and a similar pairing, and of Ming and Adele, surprisingly I didn't think of Shan even though she's the main character, I thought of Adele. I think I should add scenes to her, and paint her in a better light, maybe I should even make Ming love her. That would make his position with Shan even more turbulent. hai...

I think it was yesterday or was the the day before yesterday, I was talking to another friend I haven't contacted in a long time. We didn't talk much and things got awkward that I had to find an excuse to leave. Then I had this conversation with another friend this evening. He gave me a scenerio, and as I probed further into it, I saw a shadow surface. I thought of that big bust up last year and all the mind(less) fucking I was doing. It was stupid of me, but I just can't stop myself from doing it, I don't know why.

Link myself back to another issue, it's the other friend I was telling the previous friend about. And when I add the issue of Ming and Adele into it (if you are starting to not understand me, it's normal. I'm now talking in code. maybe until the story of Ming and Adele hit the press, I guess you won't understand what I'm talking about.), things just got worse. If I put Ming and Adele into the shoes of Shinichi and Ran, could I salvage anything from it? Then what about Shan who's supposed to come in six years later. Am I to write her out to go from a major character to a minor one? Then I still need to think about Tian, and how things might affect her, and her life onwards. And the other guy... I named his as Xiang, but I called him Shi, but now I think a name like Xiong might suit him better, so what should I name him as? Or should I give him a proper name instead?

Am I mindfucking Ming or am I just teasing him? I don't know... I'd like to think that I'm teasing him, but more often than not things go way out of hand and I can't control the mindfucking. It's like becoming so addictive that I can't help but do it. I think it's all for a reaction. You want to see what comes out from it, so you do certain things, yes, I think that's it.

I personally think that if Ran really like Shinichi, she might fall in love with Conan despite their seeming age difference. I think I can safely say this, in the manga this is hinted. I can safely discuss about the manga here because I own all of them, all 50+ of them, neatly lined up in my bookshelf. I bought all until I left Singapore. They cost me a bomb since there are like 50+ of them. I didn't watch all the anime but I'm trying to watch as many of them now. I watch on youtube every day, and I watch it on RTL II every day when I don't have classes. My reasoning is that even though the "shell" is different, the "soul" is still the same. (This is yet another anime reference, from Fay, from Tsubasa Chronicles by Clamp.)

damn... I really want to know how Aoyama is going to end the series. Maybe I should do a bit of writing fanfics. I can safely say that currently all the fanfics out there are utter trash. Bad plot, no plot, bad grammar, no grammar, not sticking to the original personalities of the characters, and bad pairings of characters. sucks... And worse still, not complete. Serialised stuff is always bad since the mindset you can have today and tomorrow is different, there is of course continuity problems, not including others. And some writers don't even bother completing the unfinished work.

My mind's so jumbled up now. My dad just added me on MSN in his other email address, it's his nick and his car plate number. His nick, like mine, not xxoos, but the jal4eva, is derived from his own name, and more importantly, his surname. I just happen to know someone else whose MSN address happens to be the surname and the car plate number. What point are they trying to make, in letting the whole world know their car plate number?

Suddenly feel like going back home to my whole collection of Detective Conan and reading them all over again. I've noticed one thing about Conan in that if you compare the art work of the first book and the last, there are some differences to the characters. The art work is getting more and more fine tuned as the series drags on. It's almost like seeing Aoyama grow...

The traces in which someone matures... Watching him grow and blossom...

*headache* I think I'll leave movie 8 till some other day. I really think I should sleep now. Maybe I'll modify Adele's character a bit more, no, I shouldn't use the word modify, it's called fine tune. I'll make Ming love her. But should I compromise his love for Shan when I make him love Adele even more? Suddenly a scene between Heiji and Kazuha popped up in my mind, don't know why...

PS: I went to wiki Gosho Aoyama and realised that he's still so young. That can only mean one thing, Conan can go on forever, with us never to know what's going to happen to him. damn... He's going to suck all my money into buying all those mangas. Worse... What if he decides to piblish like 100 volumes of Conan, I'd be spending like $500 just on comics? wah lau...

Link of the Day

Link of the day.

Remember my this entry? Tristan + Isolde
I've found this in Project Gutenberg. The Romance of Tristan and Iseult

Sorry I've been so busy that I can't type a blog entry proper. I've so many entries that I'm supposed to type, but have been procrastinating as usual. And I've been to lazy to do photoshopping.

I'm busy watching anime on youtube recently. I've complete Gravitation and Tsubasa Chronicles there. For those who are interested, can go and watch. Those are completed series, so you don't need to be afraid of missing episodes. There's a total of 13 episodes of Gravitation and 2 OVAs. Tsubasa Chronicles has the entire season one, episodes 1-26, and the movie, the second season is still running, at time of me writing this entry, there's episodes 27 and 28 of the second season.

If you are still bored you can watch Perhaps Love, Chungking Express, Fallen Angels, Supercops (a 1993 Hong Kong movie starring Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung and Aaron Kwok, just type any of their names to watch, can't remember if I got the title correct), In the Mood For Love, all complete movies. Let me think if there're anything else interesting. Cardcaptor Sakura, a whole chunk is out, but not that complete.

I'm currently watching Detective Conan. Not the long running episodes since I've the whole collection of manga at home, but the movie versions since the stories in the movies are not included in the manga. I'll share with you guys if I find more interesting stuff in youtube. I really should devote an entire entry to youtube.

I'm getting back to my Conan now. Hope I can get a proper entry up some time soon.

A Bad Week For TV

I start out with the FA Cup. I don't like Liverpool, so I was hoping West Ham would win. I think after my team's out of the cup(s), I watch football and decided which team to support out of pure hate and spite. Between Barcelona and AC Milan some time ago I was supporting AC Milan because I hated Barcelona, but come yesterday, I wanted Barcelona to win because I hate Arsenal even more. My housemates think I'm being fickle, but actually I'm not, I'm just basing everything on pure hate and spite.

But more on the Champions League final later, if not I'd forget what I want to say about the FA Cup. yea... I wanted West Ham to win and they were leading Liverpool. But what the fucking kanasai, Gerrard must be so powderwerful. I won't take away credit from people who deserved it, Gerrard's first goal, the second Liverpool goal, the turning point of the game, was perfect. A few mor of those and England will have no problem winning the World Cup even without Rooney. Speaking of Rooney, in the England context, I really hope he'd be fine for the World Cup, but on the pitch against Chelsea when he got injured, I was freaking happy and gloating about it. He gave Terry three stitches, this is called retribution, karma, what goes up comes down. bah~ I think I'm a very spiteful person, everything to me is so relative putting it up against something else.

Anyway, I'd like to make a little confession here, I like football matches that go into penalty kicks, cos that means more than two hours of playing football, for me more than two hours of watching football, and well, I just like goalkeepers, except for one person whom I hate more than any other footballer, more than Ronaldinho, more than Henry, but more on that later, I still need to complete what I want to say regarding the FA Cup.

To me, the FA Cup final reminded me of last year's Champions League final. Liverpool fighting back from defeat and winning on penalties thanks to the heroics of the goalkeeper, but the goalkeeper was a different one. I still don't understand Liverpool. They have Dudek, yet they still want Reina, and neither is good in the permiership but excellent in the Champions League. Dudek was previously the goalkeeper for Poland, but now after being edged out by Reina, he's being edged out by some other Polish guy I don't even know. I'm feeling for Dudek even though I don't like him, this is stupid. lol~ But in relation, I don't like Reina even more than I don't like Dudek, so that explains.

On Sunday, I watched Ice Hockey. Then I realised one thing. Ever since I started watching sports on TV in Germany, which ever team I was supporting would lose. Liverpool vs Chelsea in the FA Cup semi-final was another example, same with the AC Milan and Barcelona matches and the Arsenal vs Villareal. sucks...

I like watching Ice Hockey. I think it's a very fun game, it tests speed and agility, teamwork and strength. And the players are also damn shuai because of the need for strength in the game. And it's also another physical kind of sport and quite often players end up in blows with each other. I like watching men fight, but not that kind of boxing fight. I like spontaneous fighting for a cause, not just to win, but in Kurogane's words "to fight to protect something", be it a person or a dignity, or the name for something.

Then on Monday, I woke up early in the morning to check the internet to find out the results for a TV show I can't watch. Survivor. dang~ The guy I'm supporting lost. Double whammy for me.

I like Terry. He's the epitome of man. I like the man kind of man, I liked Tom and Gary from before and it's no wonder I'd like Terry the moment I saw him play. He's been so good out there beating all those kids flat, and surviving after his whole tribe fell and winning immunities over and over again. sucks... He lost the immunities when it meant the most to him.

I'm crying for unfairness now, but I know my cries are unfounded because that's how games go. I'm saying that usually in Survivor, the last immunity challenge is an endurance one, and Terry can beat any endurance test, and since Terry is also smart, he can also beat any puzzle test, but it's a test of balance. The girl would definitely win it. And that yoga instructor. There just isn't a fair challenge ground. But of course, I know, it's a game, and that's how games go, somethings you are lucky, sometimes you run out of luck.

Next I'll complain about Danielle. She made a huge mistake not to bring Terry along because he was the one who aligned himself with her. He could have voted her off instead of Cirie, after all she once betrayed him. Anyway, Danielle either way was screwed, although she lost 2-5 to Aras, if she was pitting herself against Terry, it might be a case of 7-0 loss. Austin and Sally will definitely vote for Terry, Courtney and Shane were screwed by Danielle, so it's a Terry vote too, Aras said that if Danielle brought Terry to the final two she would lose his vote and Cirie's, Bruce has all along respected Terry since they were from the old man's tribe. Pity we didn't get to see that unanimous vote. Either way, Danielle lost Sally and Austin's vote with her betrayal of Terry. Can't wait to read the transcripts of the jury and the final two online.

Then we go on chronologically to Wednesday's Champions League match. As I said before I was support Barca out of pure spite. For once the team I was supporting actually won, but not without some scares. First thing I must say out loud. WAHAHAHA~ ORH BI GOOD, JENS LEHMANN~~~ Okay, I should stop acting so childish, but I really really hate Jens Lehmann, so I'm very happy that he made such a stupid miscalculation and got that red card and sending off.

But but but, bear with me for a while more as I trash out more complains. I thought it was horrible of Wenger to substitute Pires. It's Pires' last game with Arsenal and he has to be substituted because of the folly of a team member. That just sucks. But that's not the only repurcussion. The other is that Bergkamp didn't get to play in his last match of his career. That's all because of the folly of some idiot. kanasai... yea... Even though I don't like Arsenal, I like Pires and Bergkamp.

On the other spectrum of play, Barcalona. I didn't like Barcalona, but well, I hate Arsenal even more. In Barcalona, I found a gem. I've noticed him for quite some time, but in didn't really take note of him since I've always been clouded by my dislike for that team.

Introducing...

Victor Valdes
shuai~~~

I totally dig goalkeepers. I think most of the players I like are goalkeepers. Other than Terry and Lampard and the whole Chelsea team, I like goalkeepers of other teams. Let me think of the goalkeepers I like... Iker Casillas, Oliver Kahn, Petr Cech, Cudicini, Shay Given... Why do I like goalkeepers? When I mean by like, I don't mean in terms of footballing, but me seeing them as individual men. Well, goalkeepers tend to be tall and strong and cute. Minus Lehmann, that big whiner. And quite often they are understated. I hate overrated players, Ronaldinho, Henry, no nos for me. I also go along certain coloured lines that might put me under scrutiny of sedition, but heck la... This is my personal preference for men.

Back to Valdes, not only is he tall and strong, he also has certain qualities as a goalkeeper that I like. He's young, only 24 years of age, a long way to go. He's a one club player, rose through the ranks of the youth team and the B team before getting his big break as the first choice keeper in a big team. Sort of similar to Casillas, the other young goalkeeper I like, also a one club player who rose through the ranks of a very big team. Like Casillas who's from Madrid (the town), Valdes is Catalan (or do I call them Catalonian?) and I think this identifies themselves more closely with the club. Like Terry and Lampard being Londoners. And another little fettish of mine that Valdes fits is that he's 6 feet tall. wahaha~ Me and my 6 footer footballers~

Quite a pity that Valdes' not going to Germany. Currently I think Spain's first choice goalkeeper is Iker Casillas, so I can't really complain. And after Reina's heroics in the FA Cup, the second choice goalkeeper seemed to have justified himself. The third choice goalkeeper for Spain is someone I don't really know very well, but I heard he's old, and was the first choice goalkeeper before Casillas, so I think he should retire soon. Actually if I'm not wrong Reina's also not that young anymore. He should let the lads have their chances. Casillas and Valdes~

WHAT THE FUCK! I've just went to check Reina's age, he's only fucking 23 years old, same year borned as Valdes. Spain is so lucky to have all these talented young goalkeepers man... And they all are first choice goalkeepers for big big teams. But I was reading an article about Spanish football and nationalism the other day. It seems like regionalism reigns for Spain and that's the reason why Spain can't go far as a national team. Although players like Puyol and del Horno are Spanish, they are primarily rather Catalan and Basque players respectively. The article also highlighted an incident involving del Horno when he first came over to Chelsea, he didn't want to be pictured with a Spainish flag for fear of the Basque people not happy with him.

haiyo... Like that how to play for Spain? So I'm also a little glad that Valdes is Catalan~ wahaha~

Enough a bout football, I next come to what happened today. This morning I woke up the first thing I did was to check the internet for the results of the other reality TV show that I'm so hooked onto. The Amazing Race~~~ My team came in a close second. Fuck!

The hippies won. Like they are so annoying, and they won out of luck lor. They twice escaped elimination, then the second last leg was in Japan when one of the hippies spoke fluent Japanese. Then the very last roadblock, you can tell that he Frats were not as well travelled as the hippies. All these when the Frats were leading. Fuck! But oh well, the Frats and the hippies are still very good friends, and online there's a couple of pretty tantalising photographs of the four of them half nude and doing some group activities together. bah~ Since I'm becoming such a fan of yaoi lately, I'll forgive the hippies since they're still friends with the Frats.

Anyway, the Frats still have tons of travel rewards to make use of. There are so many places they can go with them winning so many of the rewards. Oh... And I forgot to comment about Ray and Yolanda, But I don't think that's very surprising since they are so forgetable. Did they even race? They were like so always lost. In all I can say that this season is a very strong season with two very strong teams that dominated and were two very lucky teams and are about the only teams that never got into a fight with each other. Eric and Jeremy never fought, never raised their voices, and never stressed out. I think that should be the case of a game, to keep their cool. I like cool men~

I remember BJ and Tyler did got upset once in the desert when one of them was complaining to the other that it wasn't fair that he always got all the searching roadblocks. Well, both of them, the hippies and the Frats, had a system of rotating between themselves for the roadblocks so it's their own personal luck who got to do the fun roadblocks. If not I think there wouldn't be anyone wanting to do some roadblocks and both wanting to do the others.

I think I'm turning into a TV addict. Every day at 3.10pm I'd switch on the TV to RTL II and watch, get this, Detective Conan. wahaha~ Then when I'm not watching TV, I'm watching youtube. man...

Minesweeper Vs Minesweeper Flags

UPDATES!!!
I've just smashed my highscore for Minesweeper, the normal version. I scored a pretty impressive 133~ balabababa I'm lovin' it...
-end of updates-

I enjoy playing Minesweeper on my computer. I don't know if this will sound weird to people, but yea... I derive great joy in clicking those little boxes and seeing that I am not stepping on any minefield. And I love playing that game so much that I can just spend hours at it. Of course, after some time, the game can get a little boring, but the thought of beating my fastest time and being able to accomplish a difficult set of minefield pushes me to go on with the game.

Unlike most people, to achieve a faster time, I'm now accustomed, or should I say, this is my way of playing the game, that I do not put up flags, instead I just open boxes and leave the mines untouched and at the end of the game, all the unopened mines will automatically be flagged. I thought that saved me the time from putting up flags. Now, I cannot play to flag the mines because I'm so used to flagging the mines in my mind.


It gives me great joy to see a screen as such.

I don't know why but it's like going through and ordeal and finally accomplishing it. But sometimes, I also find that that can be quite disappointing since much joy of playing Minesweeper is clearing the boxes and when you win the game comes to an end.

My fastest time.


I think my fastest time is pretty fast, although I must say that the fastest time in before my laptop crashed was faster, think it was in the 140s, probably 143 if I didn't remember wrongly. I'll be working towards that goal now. But most of the time one would need extremely good luck to achieve such a quick score. I hate it that I need to waste time opening up boxes one by one when I know that whole patch are 1s and 2s. Also sometimes there can be ambiguous boxes, the probability of bother boxes is 50-50, and I'm just unlucky to choose the wrong box.

That day I was chatting with Andrew again, and he reminded me of his project.

I remember him telling me of his project a couple of months ago. He was to clone this Minesweeper Flags game and write a whole thesis about that. I've never played Minesweeper Flags before, but I thought since I'm great at Minesweeper, Minesweeper Flags shouldn't be a problem for me.

I go back to that day, Andrew finally completed his project and submitted his paper. He gave me the link to read his paper. I got so gian-ed about wanting to play this Minesweeper Flags, but too bad, his MSN was not able to support Minesweeper Flags. So he gave me the link to download his version of Minesweeper Flags for me to play.

I lost pretty badly. Okay, I lost very badly.

His computer is so smart and fast that there wasn't anything I can do to prevent myself from losing that badly. And it also seemed that his computer is very lucky. After a couple of tries and getting the hang of it, I was still losing.


This is one of the better losses.

Andrew then gave me another link to play another person's version of Minesweeper Flags saying that that computer is not as smart as his. So I tried that, the computer is still very smart but much slower that his computer, and not as lucky, so I managed to win. After conquering that I continued with trying to snatch a victory from Andrew's computer.

I thought of the time when I started playing Minesweeper. Of course I started with beginner first. And when I garnered a sub 10 score, I decided to push my limits and did the intermediate one. As you can see from my screenshot that I don't have a high score for my beginner and intermediate that's because after I conquered the beginners and intermediate I never again played it, and my laptop crashed, so I don't have the previous scores anymore. And I won't be playing them again, so it'll remain as such. Only the best to play with the best.

There's a longer story behind how I mastered the advanced version of Minesweeper. I started out with the advance template but I customed the bombs to make it have only 50 bombs. Only when I managed to conquer the 50 bombs then I added, 60 bombs, 70 bombs, 75, 80, 85, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, then finally can I try the advanced 99 bomb version. It didn't take me too long to get the hang of the game and for me to continuously challenge myself.

I think this says a lot about me.

As for Andrew's game, it didn't take me more than a day to finally achieve my beloved victory.


I think playing a lot of Minesweeper helped me because sometimes I instinctively knew which were the bombs to flag and which were empty ones, which I should avoid, and which were the ones with only 1 or 2 marked.

I'm still not ready to share my tips on doing well in Minesweeper because it's not really that often that there's something I'm good in, so can please let me revel in my illusion that I'm the master of Minesweeper for the moment? wahaha~ Even Andrew hasn't won his computer yet, but of course I don't think he plays with that that often. If I'm him I'd be pretty sick of playing with that stupid game. lol~

And did I say I'm bored? Now you guys know what I've been busy with...

Treasure Trove

Recently I've been reading this. It's the blog owner's life story, or something along those lines. I've been reading blogs for quite some time, every day ploughing through more than a hundred blogs just checking if there're any updates. I don't subscribe to any feeds since I don't understand how they work, so this is the only thing I can do.

I have a list of blogs in my favourites folder, and every day I click on them and check each and every blog. When my computer crashed the other time, lots of blog addies disappeared, okay, all of them disappeared, but I could only get back a the more popular ones, some of them disappeared in the black hole of the internet never for me to see again.

Why do I read so many blogs? It's not that I'm really interested in other people's life, okay, maybe I am interested in other people's life, but it's because I think that there can be things to learn from the lives of others. It's not always that there are gems out to be collected in blogs, but really once in a while (perhaps a very long while) there can be gems. I've been collecting gems and adding them to my own personal treasure trove, and blogs are a good source of gems.

What kind of gems did I mean? Stories of people.

Among friends, I know many of them like to consult me when they are having problems because I'm a pretty good listener. Not only am I a good listener, in terms of relationship problems, I'm sort of a very good aunt agony because of this collection of stories I have in me. By listening to them and serving as their aunt agony, I also collect little bits of gems adding to my trove, making me therefore a better listener and aunt agony to the next person that comes to me, sort of like a cycle.

Why do I have so many stories?

It started out with a collection of my own stories. Although I can say I've a pretty plain sailing life, I've never had problems with the basic necessities, nor have I problems with school, or anything most normal people face, I have been through a lot in terms of relationships. Not that I've had fifty boyfriends or anything like that, but I've face almost every relationship problem anyone could have face. Almost, I guess. Weighing my experiences, I have a sizable trove already, then as I get to meet people, talk to them, and tell them stories, I get their stories in return. Bit by bit, I prise more gems from them, and built up this collection I have.

Then I started reading blogs. Now and then, I get to see more experiences and different opinions and different mindsets and viewpoints. I broadened my thoughts, and now I can say I'm turning oblivious to my own problems, because I've seen worse, and whatever's happening to me I know is not the worst, so I take things easy. And I can also safely tell the friends who turn to me with their problems that what they are facing is not as bad as what others are facing. And I can support my argument with real life examples.

Of course, the whole crux of people trusting me with their problems is also that I not betray their trust. When I tell of people's stories, I make them sound like a story, sometimes I hade bits of details, sometimes I emphasise on a certain bit of relevant detail, but I NEVER name names, nor give out intimate details. If people trust me with their stories, I WILL respect that trust and NEVER betray them.

I digress again. I really need to stop digressing, if not I can never complete what I want to say. yea... I wanted to say that after reading the stories that this guy wrote, I'm inspired to finally start on my full length novel.

Previously I was working on my collection of short stories, the Parallelogram series, and the damnit... I forgot the name of that series. omfg... My check my archives later for the name of that series. yea... I was working on the two series. I remember!!! It's the "Prozac Nation" series. Okay, I was working on the two series until I got out of my depression and had a sort of bottleneck and inspiration drought. I was wanting to only start working on my full length novel after I completed with my two short stories collection.

But now, after sorting out the materials I have for my full length novel, and decided that since I'm no longer depressed and can't write my short stories, and am inspired by the writing of others, I shall start work on my full length novel. The title is Scarlet Flight. I have the plot plotted out and even preparations and plots for it's sequel out, but it's really not easy putting images in my head into words on paper. In fact, actually I do have words written out. This novel was first written as a screenplay, and I got up to a quarter into the story when I stalled.

I thought of Scarlet Flight the moment I read the above mentioned blog story because of the theme of teenage sex and pregnancy in the former.

Over the time, I've collected enough stories to give me a decent enough account of how I want to portray my characters and them dealing with the issue. Although in my novel I might be too utopian, but I sincerely hope that and with the glimmers of hope that shone through my trove, life is indeed filled with hope.

I realised I've changed a lot over with time and each passing event. Last time, I'd say it's impossible to 守得云开见月明, but after some time, I'm starting to doubt myself. I don't know how is it that these change in thoughts might affect my writings, maybe not for Scarlet Flight, but for its sequel, I've been changing my mind over and over again how I want my ending to be.

bah~ I think I'll go and watch more anime on youtube then decide how relationships to be. yea... Anime is a good treasure trove to examine relationships because of the subtleness of some actions and the room for imagination and the dimensions of the characters. Another place to look for gems are the cantopop MTVs of the 90s, very storylike and much like a minimovie. But too bad, I don't think any of them deals with teenage pregnancy.

I went to check my first plots of Scarlet Flight to check when was it that I conceived the idea of Scarlet Flight, it was in September 2001... wow... 5 years. I guess a lot of things have indeed changed. The sequel was plotted along with it. Or maybe I should just write them as a single book, but separating them as two "acts" or something.

I really should quit procrastinating. If not someone else might just go about writing something similar and that will be the end of my career even before it started.

To 5 People

Found this off Cindy's blog... It is to describe about 5 people without naming them, and even if they ask you if one of them is them, you cannot answer them. Thought it would be quite interesting to do, besides, I don't think I'll have any other chance to say these words to these people too.

1.
I've never called you by your name ever before. In fact, I've never even referred you by your name ever before. And I don't think I'll ever do so. For one thing, I don't think I'll ever have the guts to call you by your name, and another, I don't think we'll ever develop such a relationship where I'd feel comfortable calling you by your name.

It's just like Syaoran (I'm now watching Tsubasa Chronicles on Youtube, but I'm referring to the Syaoran in Cardcaptor. High influx on anime on me recently that even my analogies are all anime influenced.) never once called Sakura until the elevator scene. Neither did he call her Kinomoto. He just starts off with something like "hey you...". It's the same thing, the awkward relationship between us and that of Syaoran and Sakura. Syaoran was supposed to be Sakura's rival, but he ends up falling for her, and until he could really accept the fact that he likes her, he couldn't bring himself to call her by her name. Our relationship though not that complicated, is just as awkward. Do I like you? I don't know. All that I know is that even if (and I do mean if because I think actually I don't really like you at all) I like you, I won't be accepting that as a fact, so I don't see myself ever calling you by your name.

2.
This is a very important person in my life.I can't remember how we became close friends, but I remember that you were there for me when I was at the lowest point in my life. Maybe I can say that we started from there. Although I never thought much about your place in my life, it's that now you aren't here with me that I realise your importance in my life.

I'm always thinking of you. Every little thing reminds me of you. That I realise that so much of my memories are moulded just because you were there with me. Watching movies, taking trains, taking photos, even walking in the rain all reminds me of the times we shared. Now that I'm away I'm really afraid that we might drift apart. It's a big fear in me. But I can say, now that I know your importance, I'll try my very best to salvage anything that might drift us apart and hope that when I return we can still be that good friends as before.

But I'm really unsure. There've been times when we did drift apart because of petty stuff. Although those stuff are over, they are stuff which have happened and will be that scar between us.

3.
Although we might seem as very good friends, deep down I'm really very jealous of you, and I don't even know what I'm jealous over. When we first knew each other, I didn't really like you, but as time passed and we got to know each other better I found you very much a very good and dependable friend. And I really treated you as a good and dependable friend. But sometimes I still cannot supress my jealousy.

I'm not jealous of who you are or what you are, but I'm jealous of your potential. The potential of your relationship with someone else. This makes my worries sound so unfounded and me so despising myself because of this unfounded jealousy. I don't know what am I to think of myself. I really hope, and I really do, that I can overcome this jealousy, somehow or another.

4.
Till today I really can't understand what happened between us. I always thought we were very good friends. I still don't think it's my fault, so I think I'm still blaming you. I really don't want to blame you though...
(This is really short as compared to the rest because I really have nothing else to say to this person anymore.)

5.
I don't wish to talk to you, anymore. Can you please stop bothering me?

This person started out as a friend too, but this time, I guess it's my fault, I don't want to talk to this person anymore, but still, it's not my fault that I don't want to be friends, more so that it's what was done to me that I think that this said person is not worthy to be a friend.

I told you before, that and yet time and time again you really to spite me and really make so so pissed of with you. I think anyone would have been pissed off with you too, so can't you just reflect over it and quit whining. yea... And unless you sincerely want to apologise, and do what is it that you are supposed to do, I'd take it that you don't exist.

-end-

This actually reminded me of an activity Peter Sau had with us once. We had to write a letter to a person telling of our true feelings towards that person. I wrote and said it aloud, but unlike everyone else, mine was not named and the person whom I addressed was sitting in the same room.

It's really difficult to tell some people our real feelings and what we really want to say that more often than not we don't say what we want to say. It's not really a good thing... hai... I must do this exercise more often, beats putting everything stuck in my chest.

+10

Impossible is Nothing.
adidas.com/football

Check out the videos first. adidas has scaled to new heights in terms of their advertising, but who are they to blame now that the World Cup is less than a month away? I wanted to upload those videos myself, but I found them on youtube already so I'd just use what's there. Youtube's so absolutely amazing. They've everything in there.







I wonder how many players did adidas signed on in the first place. I know a list of teams with adidas kit, national and club, but there isn't a comprehensive enough list of players donning adidas three stripes.

The theme of this adidas advertisement, and a lot of adidas advertisement is team work. Without a team, there isn't football. If you compare adidas and Nike's advertisement, the trend is that for adidas advertisements, there tend to be a lot of players involved, then there'd be a so called dream team, but for Nike's advertisement, the focus is only on a single player. Remember the Ronaldinho advertisement, and the whole hooha over it? It's the same thing, Nike produced a video, put it online and have the whole world talking about it and downloading it. But adidas produced a team advertisement instead of focusing on any of the single player. Ironically, the only other major company which advertises using a whole "dream football team" successfully is Pepsi. Remember the advertisement from the last World Cup?



And the last European Cup?


This is another cute one I found in youtube.


And another...

This one is found yet ironic. Bavaria, the land of beer and football~ lol~

Now this is the main reason why I don't like Nike. They already have a wealth of football players yet they still can't market themselves well enough in the European scene. And this is also the reason why I enjoy Pepsi too. I love Coke, but Pepsi advertisements are lots better. I'm a total sucker for advertisements, give me a good advertisement and I'll buy almost everything.

Now, seriously thinking, what if what if one day there's an all-stars game, adidas vs Nike, wonder which players would play and which team would win. I'd want adidas to win though, they've got better players and a whole team spirit. I know, adidas can form a club by themselves and sign on all the players they've have, then sign a good manager, then it'd be fantasy football all over again. cool~

Pepsi can form a team of their own too~
adidas+10
Pepsi+10
xxoos+10

Now to think of that, the Jose+10 is a bit weird... Jose... Could it be a pun on someone? Now to think of that if that someone takes over the rein and forms his +10 I guess the team in blue would be invincible, wait, we already are... hahahaha~

Actually, I'm very glad that we have terminated our deal with Umbro and signed a newer and better on with adidas, this opens up lots of propects to the marketibility of our team. Lampard, Robben, Duff, being among those newly included in the adidas family can only lead to more in the furture. ohh... And I forgot, one of the favourite faces of adidas is coming to our team come next season. Ballack~

I've also heard news that Shevchenko wants a transfer to the English Premier League. I don't think any other team is able to afford Shevchenko, or able to pry Shevchenko from our hands if we want him. With a new kit, new sponsors, new players and the old rear guard, we can go for the most prestigous cup in Europe and for the second time to retain the premiership title. I'll buy the adidas kit, not just for the team but also for adidas~

Then I'll wear them to Farrell's class~ wahaha~~~
I'm so evil~

Where I Got My Stupidity From

I just received an email from my dad. After reading it, I realised that's the reason I'm like this.

My dad asked me why wasn't I online for the past two evenings (Singapore evenings).

My reply as follows:
i need to study la... i need go school also leh... you evening time is my midday hor... i where can sit at my desk in bright daylight just to online? diaoz... but i evening time i can online, just that my evening time is your night time liao. *bish bish*

I guess this tells why I'm borned like that. Because of the defective genes~ wahaha~ And this is the father who studied overseas before lor... flew all the way to England to study and now I only go Germany he can ask me why I'm not online. hai...

Baden-Baden Trip

Baden-Baden Trip

A senior Terrence once told me that I must try and visit Baden-Baden when I’m in Germany. It’s not too far away and it’s one of the richest towns filled with rich people and a casino. The town is so rich that the train tracks through Baden-Baden are walled up, anybody in a train cannot look into Baden-Baden.

Then Carol told me that her landlady’s going up Baden-Baden to visit her daughter and asked me along. Naturally, I jumped at the opportunity even though I barely knew her landlady and felt quite bad imposing her. I asked my housemates what I could see in Baden-Baden. “Rich men. Lots and lots of rich men. There’s a casino there too, but I don’t think the rich men actually visit the casino.” “There’s a spa. Hot springs.” “Other than that, nothing much.”

Baden-Baden is pretty far away from what I remembered, perhaps about 130km away? Okay, it’s not really that far, but it’s a reasonable distance that you can’t commute to and fro from there daily. But Carol told me that her landlady told her that the journey was only about an hour. I thought that perhaps Baden-Baden is nearer to me than I thought.

On our drive there, I realised the reason for the journey being only an hour. We went onto the autobahn, A5, one of the stretches of autobahn allowing us to drive with no speed limit. Carol’s landlady drove a normal little sedan, but when I peered over at the speedometer, I was pretty surprised, she was averaging at about 160km/h, on a small little car. And her fastest speed reached 170km/h. Those are speed ranges that I don’t think any of us will ever be able to drive in our whole lifetime. In Singapore it’s impossible to drive at anything over 120km/h due to short roads and other cars, not to mention the high number of speed cameras all over the island. Even in Malaysia it’s impossible because now driving a Singapore car into Malaysia is expensive. The roads in Malaysia are not that good too, the cars there also won’t allow you to drive to that fast a speed, and there’re also speed limits.

I don’t understand one thing. I grew up in Singapore where highways are not tolled, then as time went by, there’s such thing called ERP, but that’s not for highways, that’s to control road congestion. Then I looked over to Malaysia where they have proper long stretches of highways. They’re tolled. So, always I assumed that highways needed to be tolled for their maintenance and whatsoever. But the autobahns are not tolled. I think that should be the case.

Back to driving on autobahns, all the cars there drive very fast. It seems like no vehicle is allowed to drive slower than 60km/h on the autobahn. This is something very interesting to me, not maximum speed but got minimum speed~ Even all the lauya pok cars all drive very fast. And when we were at 160km/h, this Porsche zoomed past us. Imagine the possible speed of the Porsche. I think it’s definitely more than 180km/h is possible even hitting 200km/h. I just love the fast life, and fast cars.

It’s a pity most fast cars, big cars, expensive cars in Germany are owned by old people. Old men, old women, think they are like the only group of people who are rich enough to own the nice cars. Okay, there are still some young people driving nice cars, but mostly the nice cars are owned by the old folks. Porsches, CLKs, SLKs, X4, X5… I’m jealous~

I just managed to digress again. This post is supposed to be about Baden-Baden and I just went on about autobahns.

Baden-Baden.


One, It’s the logo of Baden-Baden. Cool~ This particular picture was taken off a trash can. I can’t seem to be able to take one of those flag things as they were too high up.
Two, The townscape with the mountains bordering the town. Baden-Baden is built in the Blackforest, so it’s generally mountainous.
Three, Nice hotels. It’s a norm to see nice hotels dotting Baden-Baden. Every two steps is yet another nice, quaint hotel catering to rich old men.
Four, The streets are a bit more modern than other European streets. Large walkways with large shops and a modern feel. It’s Baden-Baden.
Five, The platz in Baden-Baden seems to be much bigger than other places platzes I don’t know why. And this one has a fountain too~ I think the town council or whatever they call them is like damn rich to be able to build such things.
Six, Another big church and a bigger fountain. Churches are evident in any European town, and who says the Westerners are unreligious?
Seven, The fountain in a close up look. It’s pretty sitting in a nice big garden just like that.
Eight, Town Theatre, with a big flower garden right in front. Pretty~
Nine, This is the café sitting in front of the casino. Looks like the people there all look very rich, and don’t need to work. Sort of like the feeling when I went to Holland Village. Everyone there looked so free and rich, don’t need to work yet still got lots of money.
Ten, The casino.

I tried to take a video of the hall of the casino. I can’t take videos inside the casino, well, actually I didn’t even make it inside the casino since I didn’t have my passport with me, but I want to go there another time!!! During the World Cup, England team will stay in a hotel in Baden-Baden, they are rich anyway, and everyone there is rich too. No, my main point is that if I go to the casino then, my chance of getting to meet John Terry is face is higher!!! He’s a big gambler. He’ll definitely go to the casino. Maybe Frank Lampard will join him there too, and Joe Cole… wahaha~



Now onto food. What’s a Joan’s trip without food? Not a Joan trip…

We visited this little café which looked filled with people, so we guessed that the food there should be great. The only downside, it was a tad more expensive than other places, but I guess it was Baden-Baden, so we chose the cheapest things on the menu to eat. Wursts~ The interesting thing is that there’s an English menu in this café. How thoughtful~

Le Bistro


One to four, Spot which are the real people and which are the fake ones?
Five and six, The interiors of the café.
Seven, A coaster. I should have kopped that coaster home. It’s so cute and interesting, and I like that little man you can see the bigger one in picture one. And I like red.
Eight, There’s like this whole row of wine bottles circling the café, so interesting. I wonder how much they had drink to do up this décor.
Nine, Our table of food.
Ten, My sausages, Nuremberg ones. With the potato mustard salad, it’s a pretty filling meal I should say.
Eleven, Carol’s sausages, Munich ones. I like the whole soup idea, but the sausages weren’t as salty as the grilled ones. I think I’m pretty lucky in ordering food because Carol doesn’t seem to be having much luck in her orders.
Twelve, A poster, of beer, what else? lol~

L’Opera Romano


The picture of the restaurant, and various angles of the prawn salad me and Carol shared. Not the cute little lobster, I ate it~

Of course, in Baden-Baden, we did some shopping. Baden-Baden carries quite a few brand names, which of course I didn’t buy. But I did buy something from LUSH! Not Blush hor… It’s LUSH. It’s a UK personal car and cosmetic store not unlike The Body Shop. I used to use this Tea Tree Water from Lush until it’s only store in Singapore disappeared. So now, I spent quite a bit more just to get that same product in a far away land. And the funny thing is that I have no use for that product until I get back to Singapore. Maybe I should ship it back.

Some shops~


One, Godiva. I know everyone has seen little counters of Godivas selling expensive chocolate pieces which are very tiny. This Godiva is like a Louis Vuitton store, complete with big doors that close and you have to push it open yourself, and high ceilings.
Two, Check out their gift range. Oh man…
Three, Bags~ Pink bags~ Expensive bags~
Four, Little clay figurines, not very cheap, but very pretty.
Five, Pearls! My favourites, so many designs so nice so expensive.
Six, Another bubble dress that I like. This one is of soft cotton, nice design, short enough skirt for me, butbutbut don’t have it of my size. hai… So suay… But then hor, Eugene you must be laughing. bah~

That’s the end of the half day Baden-Baden trip.